by Nikki Duncan
His focus needed to be on the reasons he was at Mass Ave Toys. Blake and Paige were receiving their miracles.
Blake, a three-year-old who’d received bone grafts to correct tumors that weakened his legs, was walking on his own. He was pain-free and ready to tackle the world without the need of constant worry that his bones would break. His miracle was getting to shop for whatever toys he could want that didn’t require him to be sitting still.
At five, Paige had suffered acute liver failure after being given the wrong dosage of acetaminophen. The girl loved horses, wanted a pony desperately, but was very allergic. Meeting the author of the Itty and Bitty stories and getting to go home with the stuffed versions of the miniatures was her miracle.
They were a couple of his favorite success stories. Today more than most, he needed the reminder that not all the cases in his hospital ended in death.
He knelt between the two of them and asked, “Are you two ready for a great time?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Super.” He turned to Blake and smiled. “Blake, you get to go shopping with your parents. Play with the toys here until you can’t stand it any longer. Then I want to hear all about your favorites. This will help Santa know what to bring you.”
“’Kay.” The little boy left with his parents, who led the way to the outdoor toys.
Ryland lifted Paige into his arms and headed toward the pony-drawn sleigh. “There’s someone here today I think you’ll enjoy meeting.”
“Who?”
Rounding the corner of a display, he pointed to the sleigh. Paige looked at the author sitting in the bench with a book in her lap, at the ponies, then back at the author and then back at the ponies again. A grin stretched across her face.
“That’s Itty and Bitty,” she whispered.
“It is. The woman in the sleigh writes their stories. She knows the real Itty and Bitty.”
Paige wiggled free and slid to the floor before he could say more. With no hesitation or fear of the unknown, she hurried into the sleigh with Nancy. Leaving the supervision of Paige to her parents, Ryland eased away and went to watch Blake play.
He was leaning against the wall, watching the two kids, making mental notes of the things that seemed to excite them most, when the air shifted, warmed.
Jennalyn.
“I think I found your flaw,” she said as she leaned against the wall beside him.
“What’s that?”
“You become the proverbial bear when backed into a corner.”
He resisted a snort. Barely. “How so?”
“One hint that your generosity may be found out by the masses and your hackles rise.”
“Sounds more like a porcupine.”
“That image works too.” She slid a step closer. “Wanna tell me what is really bothering you?”
“No.” Talking about his mood meant thinking about Bria. Thinking about Bria meant thinking about what was happening with her. That would have his focus shifting back to the hospital and images of her too weak to do anything for herself.
“Is it really the idea of people finding out about you?”
“No.” That was an easy truth. “Now please let it drop so I can enjoy the day.”
“Fine.” She pointed toward Paige in the sleigh with Nancy. “Did you know Nancy wrote a special story for Paige? Itty and Bitty take her on one of their adventures.”
“That was sweet of her.” It would have taken a lot of time and effort, and the layer of devotion to a young girl the author had never met pleased him. Even the extra touching gift didn’t brighten the dullness of the day, though.
“You know what else is sweet?”
“What?”
“You, despite your bad mood.”
“Drop it, Jennalyn.”
“Hmm, no.” She turned to face him, leaning against the wall on a shoulder instead of her back. “You have to know how far the inspiration of A Month of Miracles is reaching.”
He shrugged.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Our goal is the same. To provide a perfect day for a few special kids.”
“Are you worried that people will come ask you for money if they know what you’re doing?”
“A little.” The tension in his back tightened. He really wanted her to drop the subject. “Listen, I need to get to the hospital. Can you handle…?” He waved at Blake and Paige, trusting Jennalyn to know what he wanted.
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small box and handed it to her. Without another word, he walked away.
Jennalyn watched Ryland until he’d left the store and was out of view of the window before she opened the hinged lid of the box. A note, written in Ryland’s bold, almost unreadable handwriting was tucked into the lid.
I already gave you an amethyst, I know. But it suited you so well, I wanted you to have something as special as you. A one of a kind.
Ryland
Jennalyn pulled a ring from the box and slid it on. Thin wire wrapped her finger in several loops making one. It then moved up to circle the crackled, purple stone in several rough twists before crossing across the top to hold the stone in place. Its roughness was its beauty.
A sense of emotional comfort settled deeper than she’d have thought possible.
Ryland granted a different wish every time she saw him. Wishes she didn’t realize she had. The least she could do was make sure Paige and Blake enjoyed the perfect day while protecting Ryland’s privacy.
After she did that, she would find a way to make his day better.
Chapter Fourteen
Jennalyn had wondered what the perfect gift for Ryland might be, because the more she thought about it the more she came to realize that in all the time they’d spent together he revealed very little about himself.
She’d called his office to be told he was somewhere in the hospital, but his secretary didn’t know where. She’d called his cell phone several times to be routed immediately to his voicemail. She’d have gone to his house, but didn’t know where he lived.
The man’s quest for privacy wasn’t isolated to how he spent his money.
Defeated, Jennalyn approached her front porch. Ryland saw into the heart of what motivated her so clearly, but she couldn’t read him. He was sweet, funny and generous, but that didn’t help her figure out where he would go for peace when he was having a crap day.
Her thoughts were derailed when she reached the house. Taped above the handle of the door was a DVD. She closed her eyes and traced a fingertip around the edge of the disc. The man needed someone to be there for him, to listen as he talked about whatever had been bothering him, but he instead made sure to give her a gift. And he’d made sure to get what had to be a message from Sabrina onto her door.
Opening her eyes, Jennalyn pulled the disc free and headed inside. She didn’t take the time to change into her robe or get a glass of wine. She didn’t even kick off the heels she’d worn all day. She was more curious about what Sabrina would say this time. How would it tie into how things were going, because so far her sister had shown an eerie insight?
Hitting play on the remote as soon as the TV and DVD player were ready, Jennalyn lowered herself to the edge of the couch. Sabrina’s face, pale and a little confused, came into view.
“Whenever you’re ready, Sabrina.” Ryland’s voice, calm and encouraging, slid into the living room, into Jennalyn, as if he were sitting beside her. He spoke more carefully than other times. He was being gentle because Sabrina was getting worse.
Jennalyn had discovered a flaw in him, but it only made him more endearing when she weighed it against his spirit.
“JJ,” Sabrina began. “It’s getting harder for me to remember stuff, but you know that.”
Her lips barely moved to form the words that slurred into each other. The video had been made in Sabrina’s last days. The messy speech had been one of the final signs of her brain deterioration, but the knowledge didn’t ca
rry the same sadness this time.
“I don’t know how much longer I have, so this is going to be my last DVD. Besides, Ryland says he’s tired of me making him cry.”
“Hey!” Ryland chastised Sabrina from off screen. “You promised.”
“Sorry. I promise not to tell her that you disappear to the roof of your apartment building when you leave me.”
“Do a man’s secrets mean nothing to you?”
“Is it going to matter if I tell her these things? She’s going to be dealing with her own issues when you give this to her.” Sabrina shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like I have your address to give her.”
“There is that.”
“I know only that you overlook the war memorial and seem to see James Whitcomb Riley everywhere you go.”
“You’re a brat, Sabrina.”
She laughed at his playfulness. “You still love me.”
“Impossible not to. Do you have a message for your sister? Or is your parting gift a lesson in giving me a hard time?”
“It’s a good gift if she’s going to spend any time with you.” Sabrina shifted her gaze to look more directly at Jennalyn. “He likes when I pick on him, JJ.”
“He picks back, Sab.” Jennalyn laughed.
Her baby sister had suffered more moments of forgetfulness the closer she’d gotten to the end, but when she was lucid she was very lucid. And she’d never lost her self or her spunk. Her passion for life.
“He mostly likes to make me laugh, which is what I want for you.” Sabrina grew serious. “Don’t forget to laugh, even when it feels like you’re losing the silent battle inside.”
Jennalyn turned off the DVD player and stared at the TV thinking about Sabrina’s message. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t said in person, but the reminder was a good one. There had been many days Jennalyn had become too overwhelmed by the war within to remember to laugh. Ryland had been in the same frame of mind earlier.
I look at this every day, but I’ve never seen it this way. His words from the movie in the Circle came back to her and mixed with Sabrina’s teasing.
Ryland lived on the Circle. He had to if he was close enough to see the lights every day. And he knew the man at The Chocolate Café. He likely had a view of the James Whitcomb Riley statue. He likely lived very close to the Circle.
Determined to find him, to make sure he took the advice he helped Sabrina pass on, Jennalyn grabbed her keys and headed downtown for the second time that day. By the time she made it through traffic and found a parking spot, darkness had set in. With the setting of the sun, the temperatures had dropped.
They only promised to drop more with the expected ten to twelve inches of snow that were supposed to fall overnight. The coming snow wasn’t too unusual in the area, but it still had the streets fuller than normal as people tried to make sure they had everything they could need. She cared only about getting to Ryland.
Another call sent straight to voicemail ramped up her frustration and her determination to find him. Two things she’d picked up about Ryland were that he had a sweet tooth and he liked coffee. Specifically, he liked coffee from The Chocolate Café enough so that the manager knew him by name.
Ready to bribe the manager with a large sale if necessary, Jennalyn headed to The Chocolate Café. Talking about walking the Circle and watching the movie with Ryland, she made sure the manager remembered her from a few nights before.
“Jennalyn.” Joshua, the manager who clearly had a crush on Ryland despite the fact they played for different teams, grew more open with every kind of chocolate Jennalyn purchased. “You’re helping Ryland with A Month of Miracles.”
“It’s sort of become a pet project.”
“He’s told me about the great things you’ve come up with for the kids.” Joshua tied a colorful bow around a bag of Christmas pretzels. “My wife’s favorite was the concert with Idina Menzel. Though, personally, meeting Apolo Anton Ohno would have been awesome.”
“They were both pretty great.”
The chimes over the door jingled, announcing another customer. Joshua greeted them, saying he’d be right with them. Jennalyn moved to the register as Joshua began ringing up her purchases. She was about to try talking him out of Ryland’s address when he leaned across the counter with a hopeful look.
“Are you by any chance going upstairs to see Ryland?”
“It was my plan, but I don’t know his apartment number.”
“If I gave it to you would you be willing to deliver his coffee? I had some staff call in sick and can’t get it to him. I was hoping he would come in for it like he normally does, but he hasn’t.”
“Of course.” Less than five minutes later she reached for Ryland’s doorbell with the hope that he wouldn’t be mad that she’d tracked him down.
Her wait was brief, barely long enough to lower her hand and shift the box of chocolate and coffee that she carried. The door swung open and a stunning blonde woman, maybe five years younger than Ryland, greeted her with a confused yet pleasant look.
“Can I help you?” The woman asked.
“I have a delivery for Ryland Davids.”
The blonde held a hand out. “I’ll see that he gets it.”
“Um, if it’s okay I would like to give it to him personally.” I want to look him in the eye when I ask who you are.
Jennalyn hated thinking that Ryland’s big flaw was the same flaw Kris had had. The woman blocking his doorway with suspicion growing in her gaze had Jennalyn’s inner alarms blaring. The last man she’d trusted had betrayed her by cheating. Ryland had worked at getting her to open up, to trust him, and now a woman was answering his door.
It didn’t look good.
“He’s really not in the mood for company tonight.”
The stubbornness she’d inherited from her mother was rearing up. Jennalyn wouldn’t walk away from Ryland’s door until she knew the identity of this other woman. Or until she knew if she was the other woman. “I’ll make it quick.”
“Just a minute.” The blonde closed the door, leaving Jennalyn in the hall.
A long minute later the door opened again. Ryland stood before her with bloodshot and swollen eyes. He said nothing, only swallowed and opened the door wider, stepping back for her to pass.
Jennalyn’s heart shuddered at the raw pain surrounding him. He closed the door behind her and silently led the way into the stark living room that showed no personality aside from the Christmas tree that sat dark. It wasn’t what she’d have expected from the man who dressed up like a clown to entertain kids or who spent so much energy making her feel special. Instead, his home filled her with loneliness. Made her wonder if he was the lonelier of the two of them.
“Ryland?”
He pointed at the blonde woman who’d dropped into a white armchair. “This is Michele. My sister. Michele, Jennalyn.”
His sister. Now that he said it Jennalyn could see the resemblance between them, and she felt ridiculous for having distrusted him. For having been jealous.
Michele nodded politely, but she didn’t get up to shake Jennalyn’s hand. Neither of them wasted breath on the standard it’s-nice-to-meet-you greeting. Whatever was going on, there was nothing nice about the mood in Ryland’s apartment.
Jennalyn set the box she carried on a nearby table and turned to Ryland. Instinct had her reaching for his hand to offer him comfort as he had her. “What’s happened?”
“A patient passed away this evening.”
“Oh, no.” Tears flooded her eyes as instantly as the memory of agonizing wails and crushing pain moved in. She went to him, wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was Bria. The little girl from…”
“…the magic show.” The little girl whose laugh had delighted Jennalyn as they soaked Ryland. “What can I do?”
As she asked the question she knew it was ridiculous. There was nothing she could do to ease his sadness. He’d told her how rarely he allowed himself to get close to patie
nts, but Bria had obviously wound her way into his heart, just as Sabrina had. He felt the pain of loss as completely as he would have felt Elise’s or Sabrina’s.
“Have you eaten?”
He said nothing, so Michele answered. “He won’t let me order him anything.”
Jennalyn fought back the tears, pulling herself under control for both their sakes, and led him to the couch. He sank like he was weighted down.
“You’re going to eat.”
“There’s food here. I’ll eat when I’m hungry.” He moved his gaze from Jennalyn to his sister to Jennalyn. “I’ve seen you in a kitchen, and she can’t boil water.”
Jennalyn remembered the hours, hell, the days, after Sabrina died. She would have starved if it hadn’t been for neighbors and Chrissy bringing her food. Ryland was functioning better than she had, but the loss was still hitting him hard.
“I’m not completely worthless. Point me to the kitchen.”
Michele stood. “I’ll show you around.”
Jennalyn grabbed the box she’d brought in with her. Before going with Michele, she pulled out the chocolate toy soldier she’d bought. Handing it to Ryland, she kissed him on the temple and whispered in his ear, “You’re my hero.”
The white, contemporary kitchen was large with top-notch appliances, but the utilitarian impression that had greeted her in the living room didn’t persist here. Pots and pans with scars and dings hung from a rack over the stove. An industrial mixer with a large stainless steel bowl sat on the counter. Beside it sat Michele’s picture. Tucked into the corner of Michele’s picture was a small print of Sabrina.
“Oh hell.” The tears Jennalyn thought she’d suppressed sprang back. Entranced, she walked to the pictures and plucked the one of Sabrina free. She was wearing the same pajamas she’d passed away in.
“He’s had that picture for over a year.” Michele moved to her side. “Do you know who she is?”