“Well if I have my way you’ll never find out.” He moved closer to her, stroking her face with his palm. “What I want is for us to sit like this in our bed, our daughter in your arms.”
“We’re having a girl then?”
“Yes. We’re naming her Charlotte.”
“After your mother?”
“I thought that would be the right thing to do. God knows she had to deal with enough of my crap.”
“It’s beautiful, Mark,”
“You’re beautiful,” he said, kissing her tenderly. As their kisses grew more urgent, she pulled away.
“What?” he asked.
“Do we need to close the door now? Don’t want any intruders.”
“Hang on a minute love.” He picked up the bowl, taking it to Sophie’s room before returning and closing the door.
Cassie laughed. “Did she say anything?”
“Just the usual stuff, we’re gross.”
“Come here you.”
“As my lady wishes.”
There would always be a part of her that wondered what would have happened if she had told Patrick about Sophie. Their life would have been different whether Patrick accepted Sophie or not. Even now his infidelity stung. Sophie asked about her father only once, accepting the explanation that he and Cassie were no longer together. Cassie had no plan if she pushed the issue further.
Now Cassie struggled as month after month led to disappointment. With Patrick it had been so easy, they’d even used protection, and it had failed but with Mark, nothing. He comforted her as best he could, finally suggesting after the first year they go and see a doctor to find out what was causing their infertility. “Mark has a very low sperm count,” the doctor told them, “it’s not impossible for you to conceive, but it does narrow your chances.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Asked Mark.
“Well you could let nature take its course and see what happens, or you could consider IVF.”
“What do you think love?” Mark squeezed Cassie’s hand.
“We need to digest this news and plan what we’re going to do next. IVF is a huge commitment.”
The doctor nodded. “It could be very wearing on Cassie. You’re wise to take your time over it.”
“We’ll go home and talk. Thanks doc,” Mark said.
At home, he hugged her tight. “So it’s my fault.”
“Oh, Mark, don’t think like that. It’s a thing we have to deal with, and it doesn’t matter which of us has the problem, we’ll get through it together.”
“That’s why I love you so much.”
“Why?”
“You’re so sensible.”
She laughed. “I’d like to think I’m fun too.”
“Oh you are, Miss Warren, you are.”
He looked pensive. The test results had to sting, to be the one stopping them from having a baby. It wasn’t fair. “If we go through IVF, Cassie, what if it still fails?”
“Do you know what?” She asked.
“What?”
“I’d do it for you.”
He laughed. “I know you would. Let’s keep on trying in the meantime.”
“What we should do is forget about making babies and go back to enjoying sex for fun.”
“You’re right. Sophie is still at her friend’s place so how about we go and do that now.”
“Are you suggesting doing it in the middle of the day.” Cassie feigned surprise.
He kissed her, pushing her back onto the couch. “That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.”
Cassie giggled. “Sounds good to me.”
“I love you, Cassie.”
“Love you too,” she replied, showing her impatience by pulling at his shirt. Mark laughed. Life was great.
“Can I call Mark Dad?” Sophie asked a couple of days later.
Cassie froze. It was hard to keep Patrick out of her head when she looked at Sophie. She was so much like him, tall, dark haired with those blue eyes. Only the tinge of red in her hair came from her mother. Was it right to let her call another man Father?
“Ask Mark and see what he says. If you want to do that, Sophie, I don’t mind.” Sophie grinned.
Mark entered the room a few minutes later, wrapping his arms around Cassie’s waist and twirling her around. “You will never guess what Sophie asked me.”
“Surprise me.”
His eyes shone with excitement. “She wants to call me Dad. I said it was okay if it was okay with you.”
“Mark, for all intense purposes you are her father. Or in that role at least. It’s not likely she’ll have anything to do with her biological father at least until she gets older, so it is fine with me.”
“We’ve never talked about him, Cassie. You haven’t told me what happened with him, and I never wanted to pry, but you need to tell me if Sophie wants this.”
“You’re right. When she goes to bed tonight, we’ll talk about it.”
He was waiting when she finished tucking Sophie into bed, and she sat beside him on the couch to talk to him about the most painful part of her life. “So, tell me about Sophie’s father.”
“I had a thing for him the whole time I was growing up. That last summer at home before the fire and after we left school, he told me he felt the same way. There’s not much to tell, Mark. I thought he loved me, we had sex, and he cheated on me.”
“Oh love, I’m sorry. Did you ever tell him about Sophie?”
She shook her head. “No, I never told him. I nearly did but he had moved on, so I decided that I was going to bring her up alone.”
“Well, you’re not alone now, and I am so very happy that Sophie considers me her father.”
“I am too. It was a bit of a surprise though considering she’s never really asked about her real father. I always planned for the future when she’s older. If she wants to meet him, I’ll help her find him if I have to.”
“She hasn’t asked because she has all she needs here. I do agree we need to be ready for when she does get curious though.”
Cassie nodded. “It’s been so good having you here for her. She loves you so much.”
“I love her as if she was my own. Having Sophie in my life is as good as if we had our own child.”
She hugged him. “I’m sorry I haven’t gotten pregnant, but I am glad to hear that. One of the reasons I fell in love with you was because of how good you were with Sophie.”
“You mean it’s not because I’m too sexy to resist.”
He winked at her, and she laughed. “You are so cheeky and pretty damn sexy.”
“That’s what I like to hear love. Must be bed time.”
“I have never had so many early nights since we have been together.”
“Are you seriously complaining?”
“Never.”
“I should hope not.” He grinned and leaned in for a kiss.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Mark’s forty-fifth birthday was a casual event, a barbecue with close friends and family. Lauren was there with her latest young man, and Cassie bit her tongue at how sadly desperate she seemed.
At the age of thirty-five, she was still determined to find a man and settle down, she was still going for the much younger, more immature types who were only interested in one thing.
“Hows the food going love? The barbecue is ready to go.”
“It’s all here,” she said, handing him the first tray.
“Beautiful.” He winked. “The food isn’t too bad either.”
Cassie laughed. “Get cooking for your guests, Mr Burrows, I’m sure they’re hungry.”
“So am I,” he murmured, “but, not for what’s on this tray.”
“Enough cheek you, get out there and get cooking,” said Cassie, rolling her eyes.
“Yes love.”
She watched him disappear out onto the deck with the food and shook her head, smirking. “He never stops does he?” Lauren laughed as she walked into the kitchen.
“Stop what?”<
br />
“The flirting. Every time I see you two together that’s what he’s doing. Is he like that in private too?”
“All the time. He makes me laugh, Lauren, he really does.”
“Is that why you two are so happy together?”
“Partly. Why do you ask?”
Lauren stared at the floor. “Because I want what you have and I can’t find it.”
“Oh honey, you are such a beautiful person. The right one is out there somewhere.”
“I hope so, I’m a bit over the whole being screwed and being left.”
“You need to do what I did and go for someone older than you.”
Lauren grinned. “You lucked out so maybe I will.”
“There you go.”
After the meal they sat in the living room telling stories, Cassie and Mark wrapped in each other as they usually were. “I remember the old days where we used to drink all weekend and still get up on Monday morning for work,” said Mark’s friend Ian, “Wasn’t that long ago but I bet we couldn’t do it now.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You’re an old man, Mark, we’re past that.”
“Well they say you’re only as old as the woman you feel, so that makes me thirty.”
Cassie laughed. “If only that were true.”
He kissed her. “I’ve never heard any complaints.”
“I’ve never had anything to complain about.”
“You need to get a ring on this woman’s finger,” said Ian, “you don’t want her slipping away. She’s far too good for you.” Everyone laughed.
“We don’t need that crap. Cassie and I are perfectly fine the way we are. Aren’t we, Cass?”
The colour had drained from Cassie’s face. It wasn’t that they hadn’t had the conversation, it was that he had never put it that way or put her on the spot like that. “Cass?”
She smiled, but her eyes didn’t. “Who wants a coffee? I could do with one.”
“Sure,” said Lauren brightly. She waited until Cassie had left the room and glared at Mark. “Dick.”
“What did I do?”
“Do you really need to ask?”
She stood at the bench with her back to him when he walked into the kitchen. “Cassie?”
“Water shouldn’t take too long, I’ll make some cups and bring them in so people can help themselves.”
“Don’t avoid me.”
When she faced him, he frowned as he spotted signs that she had shed tears. Her eyes were a little red, but it was late, and she had worked all day organising the evenings events. “Cass, I’m sorry if that upset you. You know how I am about marriage.”
“You didn’t need to make it sound like you didn’t want me that way.”
“If I did, I didn’t mean it. I love you, Cassie, I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that.”
She lowered her eyes. “Oh hell, Cass, it does mean something to you. Why haven’t you ever said anything?”
“I figured if you wanted to you’d ask me. My parents were happily married for twenty years until they died, I always thought I would have what they had.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Would you be this emotional about it if we had a child?”
Cassie shrugged. “It has driven me crazy that I haven’t managed to get pregnant, I wanted to give Sophie a brother or sister and give you a baby.”
“Love, I want what makes you happy. And it’s all my fault that we haven’t had a child together, me and my dodgy sperm count.”
That made her laugh. “I still love you though. You and your dodgy sperm.”
“That’s my girl.”
“I love you, Mark.”
“Love you too, now lets get this coffee out to them and kick them out. I want my birthday present.”
Her long dark hair hung down her back, in a plait so that it stayed in place instead of the wild way it usually fell. Cassie greeted Mark in the bedroom dressed in a translucent nightgown, and he had never seen her more beautiful. He was left speechless as she approached him slowly, kneeling before him and gazing up at him with more love than he had ever seen before.
“Cassie,” he murmured as she gestured for him to remove his shirt while she went to work on his pants. As she had aged, he thought she had matured beautifully. She had curves in all the right places which he loved. After being reintroduced to sex she had taken to it with great enthusiasm and now she was about to go down on him, something he loved her doing.
She had been determined to get it right, and now for his birthday she took his length in her mouth and deep throated him in one move that left him gasping. “Holy crap, Cassie, you’ve never done that before.”
He was sure she was grinning down there. It didn’t take him long to climax and when he did she grinned at him. “Did you like your birthday present?”
Mark pulled her to him and kissed her. He loved this woman more than he had ever loved anyone his whole life. “It was amazing babe, you are amazing. I am luckier than I have any right to be, Cassie. So lucky to have found you.”
“I feel the same way my love,” she said, stroking his face. “I love you so much, Mark, and I hope we have many more birthdays together like this.”
“Cassie, about earlier. If I thought you wanted to get married that badly, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’d do anything to make you happy.”
“Right now to make me happy I want you to take me to bed and do whatever you want for your birthday.”
He laughed. “Your wish is my command.”
Everything was perfect.
“I’ve had an offer of some work, Cass, and it’s worth a lot of money.”
Cassie rolled her eyes, she had heard this one before, and nothing ever panned out. “What is it this time?”
“A contract in Dubai, proper building work. For three months. We could all go, but it’s an almost immediate start so you’ll have to work out time off as soon as possible.”
“Mark, we can’t all go to Dubai.”
“Why not?”
“Well for starters we wouldn’t be allowed to live together over there, you have to be married.”
He stared at her. “It didn’t even cross my mind.”
“No, it didn’t.”
“I’ve already agreed to it. It was through an old mate, and he’s given me work before. It never occurred to me.”
“Did you sign a contract?”
He had that guilty look. The puppy eyed look to beg forgiveness. “Mark,” she whined.
“I’m sorry, it seemed like a good idea, and I thought Sophie would enjoy it too.”
“Well she’s going nowhere without me and besides you still couldn’t take her there as you’re not her father.” The words came out without thinking. “You know what I mean.”
“I’ve really fucked this up, haven’t I?”
“Yeah you have. When do you go?”
“In a few days. I’ve got a small job coming up, but I can find someone else to do that. Cass, I’m really sorry. Hell, I don’t want to be away from you for that long.”
“It had better be worth it.”
“Money wise yes.” He grinned and pulled her into his arms. “The thought of not having you in my bed for all that time is very concerning though.”
“How concerning?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at him.
“I love you so much, Cassie, and I am such an idiot for doing it. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“It always does, Mark, though it’s not taken you away for so long before.”
“It should be over quickly, and I’ll be back. When I do get back, let’s do things properly.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.
“Let’s get married, not have to worry about anything like this again.”
“Mark Burrows, is that a proposal?”
“Shit. I’ve cocked this up too, haven’t I?”
She shook her head. “Let’s go to bed, you can show me something that you can do rig
ht.”
“I hope so.”
Cassie laughed, Mark grinned and kissed her. “Come on love, I can prove to you that tonight isn’t a complete waste of time.”
Within days, he was on the plane, and Cassie and Sophie missed him like crazy. The place wasn’t the same without Mark around. Cassie kept herself busy with work, but she hated the nights alone in bed and wished he was back in her arms.
It was a month into the trip that the call came, it was late, and Mark had called a few times at that hour to catch up with Cassie. He hated being apart from her, and the sound of her voice was comforting. This time however, he had news. “Cassie, I’m coming home.” He sounded tired and strained.
“Are you all right?” She asked.
“Love, telling you over the phone might be the most stupid thing I’ve ever done but I can’t keep it from you.”
Fear gripped her. “Mark, what is going on? What’s happened?”
“Something happened love, I didn’t feel well so they insisted I see a doctor and he found something.”
“Found what?” Her voice shook as she was torn between needing to know what was going on but not wanting to know.
“Cassie, it’s melanoma. It’s advanced, but I don’t know exactly how bad it is.”
“Cancer,” she whispered.
“Yes. So I’m coming home so I can see doctors there and see if we can get it sorted.”
“Oh, Mark,” she cried, bursting into tears.
“I’m sorry love, I should have waited until I was home, but I knew you would want to know why. I’ll be on the next plane out of here, I’ll give you the details.” She recorded the details, and he left the call, needing to get packed and to the airport. It was a long, lonely drive to Auckland to collect him. She had left Sophie with Lauren, not wanting the girl to see her upset.
As excited as she was for Mark’s homecoming, she was equally terrified of what might be on the way and wanted to be in his arms again, feeling the comfort of his embrace. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel, her mind on the words he had said on the phone. It might not be bad, but her gut told her it was, and while it would have been easier to ignore that nagging feeling, it stuck to her.
She waited while the plane landed, and Mark went through customs. It seemed to take forever, but he was there, wrapping his arms around her and telling her everything would be fine.
Another Chance Page 10