by Carly Carson
She looked up at him. "Are you kidding? I don't shop here."
"Fine." He pushed the elevator button. "I have a person who shops for me. I asked her to set aside a few things."
Amanda stepped into the elevator. "Who are you buying for?"
A slight frown creased his brow. "You, of course. Why else would we be here?"
Her jaw fell open. "Me? You'd better not mean that!"
An older man and woman, the only other occupants of the car besides the attendant, watched them discreetly as the elevator hummed upwards.
"Of course I mean it." A trace of impatience colored his voice. "What's the big deal?"
The doors opened and the other couple got off. But not before the woman said in a low voice, "He likes you, honey. Go for it."
Amanda sputtered with fury. Even a stranger thought she was bought and paid for.
"It is a big deal to me," she said, baring her teeth at Logan, "that you are treating me exactly the way you treat your—your paid companions. I do not want flowers or jewelry or—or boots!" She had to resist the urge to stamp her non-boot-shod foot.
A slight frown creased his brow. "I can't buy you anything?"
The elevator doors opened just as she hissed, "I am not for sale!"
The very handsome, impeccably clad, older man who got on looked from Amanda's face to Logan's. He stepped close to Logan, but his deep voice carried too easily. "Double your offer," he muttered. "Always works."
"Double of nothing is still nothing," Amanda snapped. "Which is precisely what he's going to spend on me."
The other man raised his brows at Logan. "Spitfire," he mouthed.
Logan shook his head slightly at the man before turning to Amanda. "You don't even want to see what they've set aside? I'd like to get you something."
Amanda grabbed for her control. She couldn't afford to humiliate him or really anger him. "I'm hungry," she said. "Let's have lunch. I'll let you pay."
But lunch didn't ease the depression that was creeping over her.
Logan Winter was a man who bought and paid for sex. Emotion and tenderness were not the coins he used. None of that changed just because Amanda wasn't a hired escort. She was still an object to him, a person to be "paid for" with gifts, if not cash.
She had to move on from him. Hope was a poor substitute for affection. "What did you want to discuss?" she asked, as the waiter handed them menus. "Dallas Robotics?" She was proud of her cool tone.
"No," he answered. "I worked out the problem we were having with them this morning."
She eyed him, wondering if she should challenge him on his subterfuge last night. She didn't believe he'd ever intended to talk about the deal. But she didn't want to raise the subject of last night.
Logan closed his menu. "Let's order lunch before we talk."
When the waiter left after taking their orders, Logan folded his hands on the table. "We have a few things to discuss about last night."
"Sorry," she said tersely. "I was drunk."
Surprise flitted across his face. "Had you been drinking earlier in the evening?"
"No! I'm not an alcoholic. I just get drunk easily."
He nodded. "I wondered about that at the wedding."
"Wonder no more. It makes me a cheap date and, obviously, an—an—easy—" She fluttered her hands as a substitute for words.
Logan laughed. "You," he pronounced, "are not an easy lay."
Her lips twisted. He wasn't one to mince words. It sounded ugly.
He captured her hands across the small table, and folded them within his. "I apologize if I took advantage of you. I deliberately didn't give you much wine in order to avoid compromising your sobriety."
"I'm not a child," she said pettishly.
"Five percent of the population can't tolerate alcohol well. You must be one of them. It's actually a good trait to have."
"You would think so. But it wasn't last night. If I'd been in my right mind, I never would have—stayed with you."
His face darkened as he let go of her hands. "Given the circumstances, I'll let that rude comment pass. However, I had you last this morning at dawn, and the effects of the alcohol must have worn off by then. I didn't hear any complaints from you."
Amanda stared at the tablecloth. She had been rude, and he was right about her willingness. But his emotional disengagement hurt her, and this was the only way she had to fight back.
"I'm sorry," she muttered, still talking to the table. "The whole episode was a mistake. Can we leave it at that?"
The waiter arrived with their food, a filet mignon for him and a yellowfin tuna burger for her.
Logan took a bite and then began talking again as if he hadn't heard her last plea. "I enjoyed myself very much last night." His gray eyes bored into hers. "I thought you did, too."
"Whether or not we enjoyed ourselves is irrelevant." She fought a blush. "It can't happen again."
"That kind of pleasure is never irrelevant." He took a sip of wine. "I'd like very much to have it happen again."
She clenched her hands around her fork and knife. "No." She couldn't have him pursuing her. She was honest enough, at least with herself, to fear she would succumb just as she had last night. So, to keep herself safe, she had to convince him to back off. Which wouldn't be easy, as he wasn't the type to give up easily on something he wanted.
He nodded, and took another bite of steak while she waited tensely for his next approach. But he managed to surprise her.
"I'm disappointed," he said in his calm way. "But I'll respect your wishes."
Geez. Why did his easy acquiescence make her feel worse? She was right to end this now. She knew it and he had to know it as well. Whether they ended this now or a month from now, he'd be able to move on. But she, a month hence, might well be in over her head. She couldn't take the chance.
Chapter 19
Amanda traveled to Denver for Christmas, grateful to see her sister improving under the care of the talented team at Jewish American Hospital. Even her mother, though constantly worried, looked a little more rested. Amanda herself was stressed and anxious.
She'd thought Logan was cold and distant when they were in contact with each other. But she hadn't known how lonely she could feel when his daily presence was withdrawn completely from her life. According to Rosie, Logan was traveling constantly, so there was little chance that Amanda would run into him even accidentally at work.
He kept his word and didn't seek her out at all. Sometimes she saw him at a staff meeting, but he scarcely looked at her. He avoided asking her for the in-person reports he used to request. Their business transactions were handled via email.
Worst of all, Amanda had to assume he'd found himself an escort from that service he used, and she felt a bitter jealousy that was totally inappropriate given the circumstances. It was hard to remember she had insisted on ending the relationship, when she felt as if she'd been abandoned by him.
Rosie was the one bright spot in Amanda's existence. She insisted on continuing the shopping expeditions, pointing out that she hadn't received orders from Logan to stop them, and she really wanted to earn a chance to get backing from one of Logan's contacts. Amanda didn't have the heart to shop, but she did want to help Rosie.
However, it was completely inappropriate and unnecessary for Logan to continue to buy her clothes since Amanda wasn't attending business events with him. They switched their focus to sewing clothes. Rosie bought tons of supplies—gorgeous fabrics, beadings and trims, perfect accessories. She begged Amanda to participate in fittings.
"I really don't need more clothes," Amanda said one Saturday afternoon as Rosie pinned a bolero-type jacket around her.
"I know. But Logan keeps payin' the bills so he doesn't mind." Rosie raised her blue eyes to Amanda. "I'll never have another break like this."
"When is your aunt coming back to work?"
Rosie's eyes shifted. "I don't know. The rehab isn't going so well."
"Are things okay with you a
nd Logan?" Amanda didn't want her actions to cause trouble for her friend.
Rosie stopped pinning. "I messed up an interview yesterday. He was so mad!"
"He didn't fire you, did he?"
"Oh, no." She shook her head and her red curls bounced. "It was worse. He just looked at me and called me Ms. Taylor and said he hoped the job wasn't too much for me." She shivered dramatically.
"That doesn't sound too bad."
"Then you don't know how he can give you a stare that makes you want to apologize just for bein' alive."
Amanda laughed. "Now you're exaggerating."
"Am not. I don't know how he does it, but I purely hate to disappoint that man." She poked another pin through the green fabric. "Which is silly because lately he's as surly as a cabbie in gridlock."
"That's his normal personality, Rosie. Don't take it personally."
"Hey!" Rosie straightened up. "Why don't I see you around the office any more? You two have a fight?"
Amanda jerked involuntarily. "Sorry," she said. "A pin."
Rosie regarded her. "You didn't answer my question."
"Of course we didn't have a fight. We aren't working on any deals right now that require face-to-face interaction."
Rosie snorted. "If you say so. But I say half his bad temper is due to the fact that he's not getting any."
"Rosie!"
"Well, no one can call you a frump now that I'm dressing you," Rosie said with a gratified air. "As for the other part…I thought for sure he'd get you in the sack. The man is nothin' if not determined."
Which only proved he wasn't that interested in her, Amanda reminded herself. Something she had to remember on those long nights when she lay in her lonely bed, thinking of his hands roving over her, his lips pressing against her, his tongue doing all kinds of delicious things to her.
"No," she said to Rosie, her voice squeaking around the lie. "I told you that you were exaggerating his interest in me."
Rosie snorted. "Got eyes in my head, don't I?"
"Besides," Amanda said, venturing into dicey territory, "he must have found himself a—a girlfriend by now."
"Nope." Rosie snapped off the word with certainty. "I've never sent anyone in for an interview for that position. Not since I sent you in by mistake." She giggled, and Amanda regretted the impulse that had made her share the story with Rosie.
"How do you know?" Amanda asked. "I'm sure he doesn't advertise that Hookers 4You is knocking on the door."
"My aunt told me exactly what to look for. She warned me never to make any assumptions about who went into his office, no matter how slutty they looked."
"You haven't heard that awful nickname about me going around the office lately, have you?" Amanda tried to speak casually, but she wasn't surprised when Rosie's eyes narrowed.
"No, I haven't. And since the office grapevine knows everything—" Rosie waved the hand that wasn't full of pins. "I guess you're really not sleeping with him."
"Please. Stop saying that."
"No wonder that Phoebe's hangin' around like a cat in heat." Rosie twitched the jacket's hem and began pinning again. "You'll never convince me that she'll be good for him."
Amanda pressed her lips together as a totally unwarranted jealousy jumped up and bit her. How could she keep this job if she had to watch Logan with another woman? She really should start looking elsewhere. But, deep in her heart, she knew she'd never find another job with the pay and benefits she had at Winter Enterprises.
She was trapped.
***
Josh cornered Amanda after the next staff meeting. "Sorry I haven't been around," he said. "I figured you knew Winter sent me off to Singapore for three weeks."
Amanda hadn't heard that. Since Josh only attended staff meetings when his boss was out of town, no one had remarked on his absence.
"I've heard Singapore is a great city," she said. "Did you like it?"
"Yeah." Josh smiled. "Winter hinted that there might be a permanent assignment for me there. I'm sure I'd still be there but he needed me in New York to work on his upcoming public offering."
"I've only heard bits and pieces about the public offering. I'm surprised he's selling part of his company."
"He's just selling a minority stake. Apparently, the need came up quickly. One of his original investors needs to cash out."
"Is the company in trouble? I haven't seen any indications." Amanda's heart thumped a little more quickly. She really wanted to run Daily Eats. But if Logan were having financial difficulties, he might not be able to make the investment to buy the Molloys' company.
"No." Josh reinforced the word with a head shake. "Winter Enterprises is solid. He may have to cut back on a few investments, that's all."
"All?" Amanda's voice squeaked. "Do you know which deals are on the block?"
"I don't think Logan knows yet. Like I said, this came up quickly. He needs a large sum of cash to buy out one of the original investors, and that's not easy to come up with, especially with the stock market as bad as it is right now. So it's all hands on deck to push the public offering quickly. If he can't sell a minority stake, I'm not sure he can pay off the investor."
"Winter Enterprises is a strong company. I'm sure he'll be able to pull it off."
"As long as he doesn't run into any bad luck."
"Now you're making me nervous." Amanda forced a laugh.
Josh raised his brows. "Nothing to do with you. If the offering fails, I might be out of a job, but there's no reason why you would be."
Amanda decided not to tell him about Daily Eats. She really had to start pressuring the Molloys. They'd been silent for too long. She needed to get the deal done.
***
Since Amanda didn't have much going on this weekend, she decided to catch up on her work. Her one bright spot would be shopping in Soho with Rosie. They both enjoyed the smaller scale of the trendy neighborhood, even though the prices could be as eye-popping as uptown.
Rosie knew all the best boutiques, including the resale shops where treasures could be found by someone with an astute eye. But when she steered Amanda into L'Agent Provocateur, Amanda had to object.
"I can't buy this stuff," she murmured when Rosie held up a peek-a-boo corset missing its crotch and part of its bra cups. The expensive lingerie was beautiful, but too risqué for her, with its thin crisscross straps everywhere baring skin in a well, provocative, way. "Where would I wear it?"
Rosie rolled her eyes. "I bet our boss would love it."
"Are you kidding?" Amanda put down a see-through nightgown. "He's way too uptight for this stuff."
"I think he could enjoy a little kink…" Rosie glanced up with a sly smile, "…if someone offered it."
"Don't look at me." Amanda glanced around wildly, praying she wouldn't start to blush. Her goal was to make sure no one at work knew what had already happened. Although she trusted Rosie, she had no intention of confiding in her.
"Okay." Rosie picked up an ivory set consisting of a low-cut bra, panties, and a wide garter belt worn around the waist. "This would be perfect with your coloring."
"I don't need it." Amanda lowered her voice. "This stuff is really expensive. Have you looked at the prices?"
A reed-thin saleswoman appeared and whisked the garments out of Rosie's hands. "Let me ring this up for you."
"Do you have a similar set in black?" Rosie asked. She leaned over to whisper in a low voice to Amanda. "Some men only go for black."
The saleswoman smiled at Rosie. "Of course. I'll just get the black set from the back."
When she returned, Rosie had added a transparent silk robe and a lavender feather boa to the heap of clothing.
"I'm sure you want the matching stockings," the saleswoman said, holding up the black lingerie. "How many pairs of each? A half dozen? A dozen?"
"I don't think—" Amanda gestured to the growing pile.
"A half dozen," Rosie said, interrupting.
"Rosie! You can't charge this stuff to Logan."
"He'll never notice." She grinned. "Unless, of course, you wear it for him."
"No." Amanda shook her head firmly. "This type of clothing is not part of the deal."
"Of course it is. He told me I was free to spend whatever I liked to showcase my talent and make you happy."
"This is not going to showcase your talent because no one will ever see it."
Rosie slapped a credit card on the counter. "It works subtly. You'll see. You'll feel much sexier when you know you're wearing this stuff. Feeling sexy will increase your confidence." Rosie laughed. "Listen to me. Shrink of the day."
When Rosie suggested going out for dinner, Amanda had to plead exhaustion. She couldn't think of anything but getting undressed and crawling into bed. Even the new clothes seemed a burden when she realized she'd have to carry them all home.
She splurged on a taxi, fell into bed, and when she woke up on Sunday, she knew she was sick. Sore throat, fever and headache.
On Monday, she had no choice but to call in absent.
"I'm going to come over at lunchtime and make you some chicken soup," Rosie said. "I'm an excellent cook, you know."
"Thanks, Rosie, but that's not necessary." Amanda took a sip of her lukewarm tea. "I'm calling the doctor next and I don't know when I'll get an appointment. I might not even be here at lunchtime."
"Call me when you know," Rosie ordered.
Amanda was grateful to get an early appointment due to a cancellation. She was in and out by noon, with a diagnosis of strep. The thought of trudging to the drugstore to fill her prescription was daunting, but it had to be done.
She checked her cell when it rang, and Logan's name popped up. Sighing, she answered. He was her boss.
"I heard you're sick." His deep voice caressed her ear.
"Rosie has a big mouth."
"She knows who signs her check." Logan's voice was amused.
"I'm on my way to get my drugs. I'll be in tomorrow."
"No," Logan said in his calm way. "Change of plans. Where are you?"
"A couple blocks from home. Why?" He couldn't make her go into the office. Her brain was mush, her throat burned like it was being carved with a knife, and work would be impossible.
"Felipe is on his way down there. He'll pick up the prescription, and bring it to your apartment."