by Silver James
She gentled her voice. “Hey, Mandy. I wasn’t expecting you. Here, sit down.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t... You...” The girl inhaled, working to control the shaking in her hands. “I’m sorry. You scared me bustin’ in like that and all.”
Approaching carefully, Quin hitched one hip on the metal table, keeping a little distance between them. “My fault, Mandy. I was expecting someone else.”
“I...don’t mean t’take up your time or nothin’. I know you’re really busy but...I just had t’talk to you.”
Quin resisted the urge to rub her temples. She needed to tread lightly here and the headache was making it hard to concentrate. “It’s okay, hon. What do you need to talk about?”
Amanda twisted her fingers into knots, then spread them to smooth down the worn denim covering her thighs. “I gotta say this, ma’am.”
“You can call me Quincy, Mandy.”
“Yes, ma’am. I mean, Quin...cy. It’s like this, you see. I know you think you’re helpin’ and all but you’re ruinin’ everything.” The girl’s words ran together at the end, her tone no longer hesitant.
Quin did her best to decipher what the girl was implying. She gave up because she had no idea where Mandy was headed. “I don’t understand...”
“Of course you don’t. You’re strong, Miz Quincy. Strong and brave. Not like me. I’m not those things. Never will be. And see, that’s what I gotta make you understand. What those people at CPS are doin’? Trying to keep Noelle from Mr. Deke? That’s just wrong.”
Warmth suffused her cheeks as Quin attempted to curb her temper. “Did he send you here?” It would be just like the sorry son of a gun to send this poor girl in an attempt to sway her.
“No! How could you even think that?”
The shocked indignation on Mandy’s face, followed quickly by fear, made Quin realize she sounded far harsher than she’d intended. She breathed through her anger, worked to school her expression into something softer, something more sympathetic. How could she be upset with Mandy? The girl had a huge crush on Deacon. Of course she would be protective of him. After all, Mandy had entrusted the man with her baby.
“It’s not like that at all, Miz Quincy. I—” Mandy snapped her mouth shut and swallowed before continuing. “I haven’t seen Mr. Deke since y’all took my little Noelle away from him. An’ see? That’s why I’m here. What y’all did, it’s just wrong.”
So much for soft and sympathetic. Before Quin could respond, the shy, reticent girl she was familiar with dissolved right in front of her, and in the girl’s place stood a momma bear.
“How could you, Miz Quincy? You say you’re my friend but you go behind my back and you... Lordy. You hurt him so bad. You hurt my baby girl. And you just keep on hurtin’ folks for no reason.”
Quin needed to regain control of this situation. “That’s not true, Mandy. We’re doing what is best for you and Noelle.”
“No, you ain’t!” Agitated, Mandy surged to her feet and paced the confines of the interview room. “I thought you understood. But you don’t. You’re just like all those people at Child Services.”
“Mandy, please...” Quin kept her voice calm.
“No. You don’t get it. Not at all. I’m broken and I always will be. The system broke me. And now you want to throw my baby in there to get chewed up.”
“You aren’t broken—”
“The devil I ain’t! I’ll always be broken. I’m not like you. You’re strong. I’m not. And I won’t ever be. No child deserves a momma who can’t face the world and protect ’em. And I can’t. That’s why I gave her to Mr. Deacon. I knew he’d take care of her. Knew he’d love her. And he does. He brought her to see me so I could decide what t’do. He loves her with his whole heart. I see it every time he looks at her, every time he says her name.”
Mandy brushed at her cheeks and cleared her throat. Quin was too stunned to speak.
“And you know what, Miz Quincy? He told me all about you. How he loved you, and how y’all were gonna make a family with Noelle. When he said your name, when he talked about the future an’ you? He looked that same way. I’d give anything to have a man look like that when he thinks about me. Maybe you don’t feel the same about him. That’s on you, but don’t take my baby away from that man—from the family that loves her and will take care of her for the rest of her life.”
Tears flowed unheeded down Mandy’s cheeks, her body racked with silent sobs. Quin was at a complete loss as to what to do. She wanted to comfort the girl but Mandy stood there encased in misery, arms around herself as if to contain the storm raging within her.
The door banged open, slamming against the wall. Both women whirled. Deacon stood there with Chance Barron, and two troopers. Part of Quin’s brain recorded the difference between Mandy’s reaction and her own. Mandy slumped in relief—like Deacon had just ridden in on his white horse to rescue her. Quin, on the other hand, felt detached from the scene, as Mandy’s words trickled through her brain.
He loves her with his whole heart. I see it every time he looks at her, every time he says her name.
When he said your name, when he talked about the future an’ you? He looked that same way.
Only he wasn’t looking at her with love. Not at the moment. She’d always thought Deacon was easygoing. Boy, had she been wrong. The man standing there breathing hard looked like he could slay dragons.
One of the troopers cleared his throat and jerked his thumb in Chance’s direction. “This guy says he’s the girl’s lawyer. And this one...” He gave Deke an assessing look. “He claims to be your fiancé. You need us to stay, Quin?”
“No. I’ll handle this, Rizzo. Thanks.” The troopers exited, shutting the door behind them.
“What did you do to her?” Deacon’s voice fairly vibrated with anger.
That got her back up. “Me? Not a darn thing. What nonsense have you been telling her?”
“Nonsense? Oh, you mean like I love her little girl and want to adopt Noelle? Like I want to make sure Mandy gets her education and gets a chance to live a real life? Like I care about what happens to her and to Noelle? Like I loved you?”
“Don’t fight,” Mandy pleaded. “Don’t fight because of me.”
Deacon strode to the girl. He touched Mandy’s shoulder, his hand and expression gentle. Jealousy stabbed through Quin, hot and fast like a bullet. She glowered at the pair through narrowed eyes until her cop training took over. She slowly regained control. Focused. And really looked at them.
That was when she realized there was nothing sexual in the way Deacon touched Mandy. His hold was careful, comforting, like a father’s, or a big brother’s.
“Go outside with Chance, Mandy,” Deacon directed. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get this mess untangled. I’ll fix it. You just have to trust me.” He turned the girl over to Chance, nodded at some question in his cousin’s eyes and waited until the door was closed behind them before he faced Quin.
Trust. That was what it boiled down to. Quin understood now. Mandy did know Deacon better than she did. He wasn’t doing any of this for publicity, for recognition, despite evidence to the contrary—evidence she now suspected had been fabricated. He was doing it because he really was a good guy. A man so good he’d taken in an abandoned baby because it was the right thing to do. And then he fell in love with that baby and wanted to give her a home. He’d fallen in love with the cop who fought him every step, and wanted to make a home with her, too. Quin had hurt him deeply because, she realized too late, he had truly loved her. And she hadn’t trusted him—or herself—enough to believe.
She turned away and pulled her cell phone from her hip pocket. Quin didn’t understand why the numbers were blurry as she attempted to dial the social worker who’d removed Noelle. She felt Deke’s glare knifing into her back.
“You callin’ for backup now, Trooper Kincaid? Don’t bother. I’m leaving. You don’t have to worry about seein’ me ever again. Since you’re not wearing it, you can de
liver my grandmother’s ring to Chance when you see him in court. We’re done.”
Quin’s call to Child Services went to voice mail. She hung up. Her denial was on her lips as she turned to face Deke. Only the room was empty. He’d gone. She was left standing alone. Frustrated, she considered chasing him down so she could explain. That was when the truth hit.
She’d blown it as far as Deacon was concerned. He’d loved her. Loved her enough he’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop, quick to assign motives where there’d been none. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she bent over, sick to her stomach. She’d ruined the best thing to ever happen to her. Quin had destroyed any chance they might have had by her actions. Because she hadn’t trusted Deacon, had believed the worst of him before hearing his side.
Tears streamed unheeded down her cheeks as she sank onto the metal chair. She felt numb, which was a blessing. When the pain finally came, she knew it would eviscerate her.
Eighteen
The last thing Deke wanted to do was sing in front of a crowd of strangers, but Chase had set up this appearance months ago when he was wrangling something out of the city fathers. Under normal circumstances, this appearance would be a piece of cake. But a hard-nosed cop had ripped his heart out and then stomped on it.
And God help him but he still loved her.
The boys continued to walk on eggshells around him. They’d come out to the ranch to work on some of the new songs for the next album. Yeah, the new stuff was maudlin as hell, and Dillon had been quick to ask what Deke had done to screw things up with Quin. Only he hadn’t done a thing. Not a blasted thing.
He’d taken in an abandoned baby. He’d fallen in love with her. And he’d fallen in love with the stubborn woman assigned to the investigation. He’d given his heart to both, wanting to adopt Noelle and help her mother, and wanting to marry Quin. Who then betrayed him and took that baby away.
The rest of the band was in the front of the bus kicking back. Deke hid in the bedroom. He didn’t want to do this gig. He wanted to go home. Alone. Yeah, he might pour a tumbler full of good Kentucky whiskey and write stupid songs about broken hearts that no one but him would ever hear, but he was entitled. He’d face the rest of his life tomorrow. Tonight, he just wanted to wallow in his misery.
Deke could hear the other guys out in the living area and he had to roll his eyes. They were playing rock-paper-scissors. The loser had to come get him. He considered saving them the angst, then decided naw. Make them work for it. He put away the acoustic guitar. He wouldn’t be strumming it tonight. Those broken-heart ballads had no place on a New Year’s Eve playlist, though a few love songs were necessary. As much as he hated the thought of singing one given the sorry state of his own life, he knew their fans would be in a romantic mood.
* * *
Quin knew what she had to do. The problem was, she had no plan. And not much time to come up with one, much less execute it. She was in uniform and on crowd control, along with half of Troop A. The other half was out on the streets on drunk patrol. The night was cold but not frigid. The indoor venues were doing bang-up business. Deke and the Sons of Nashville were scheduled to take the outdoor stage in Bicentennial Park at 10:00 p.m. for a concert that ended just before midnight, when they’d lead the crowd in counting down to the New Year as the lighted ball climbed its anchor pole.
Her timing would have to be impeccable. If she distracted him during the concert—made him even angrier than he already was—he or Chance would file a complaint against her. And if she approached him before the concert...yeah, he’d just ignore her like he’d been doing since he’d walked out of the interview room.
For two hours, she patrolled the downtown area, which was roped off for Opening Night, Oklahoma City’s big New Year’s Eve celebration. Even with the cold temperatures, the crowd was bigger than normal—thanks to Deacon Tate and the Sons of Nashville. Free concert? Oh, heck yeah! Their fans were all over that.
From nine to ten, she fretted and answered minor calls. A public drunk. A child who fell and cut her chin. A couple fighting over flirting with the opposite sex. She was also aware of the crowd gathering around the finale stage in the park. People came out of the Norick Downtown Library, out of the Oklahoma City Museum of Art and streamed from the art deco doors of the Civic Center.
The food trucks lined up at the edge of the outdoor venue had been doing a brisk business but now they were all but deserted. The stage was set up in front of city hall. The streets surrounding the venue had been closed to vehicular traffic and already the park area between the Civic Center and city hall was wall-to-wall people. She had to figure out something before Deke’s concert began.
* * *
A soft rap on the door indicated the time to mope had come to an end. “Go away,” Deke yelled.
“Having trouble hearing, bro,” Kenji said as he entered. “You said ‘C’mon in,’ right?”
Deke had to work to hide his grin. Not only were the members of his band incredible musicians, but they were also the best kind of friends. “Yeah, something like that.”
“You know the girl’s not worth it, right, dude?” Kenji asked in his signature Tennessee accent. “And you know there’s been a million songs written about this situation, right?”
To prove his point, Kenji burst into a slightly off-key rendition of Cole Swindell’s “Ain’t Worth the Whiskey.” The rest of the band joined in from the front of the bus.
“We are so adding that to the list tonight,” Dillon yelled.
Deke considered Kenji’s words. Maybe he’d rushed things with Quin. Maybe he’d suffered a bruised ego at her hands, not a broken heart. Yeah, right. Asking her to marry him had not been a spur-of-the-moment decision. The idea had been fermenting in his mind almost from the moment he first laid eyes on her. Not that he believed in love at first sight but...yeah, he believed in love at first sight when it came to Quincy Kincaid. But loving her and forgiving her were two different animals.
Twenty minutes later, they were on stage, waiting to be introduced by the mayor of Oklahoma City. The crowd was estimated at close to 100,000. The night felt electric, energy pouring from the people spread out between city hall and the Civic Center.
Deke closed his eyes, focused. He would feed off the intensity of the audience, absorb their excitement. He lived for this. Loved it down to his very soul. Tonight, he would sing for them. And with luck, their energy would fill up the empty places in his heart.
As the mayor wrapped up the intro, Kenji started a pounding beat on his drums. Ozzie matched it with his bass guitar line. When the crowd erupted, spotlights lit the stage. The beat continued until things quieted down. A few measures later, Xander added a riff on the banjo, which Bryce followed, dueling banjos–style, with the same riff on his guitar. Dillon added the song line on his keyboard. And then Deke stepped front and center, launching into “Red Dirt Cowgirl,” which he’d written for Chance and Cassidy when they got married.
The clock ticked toward midnight but as often happened when he was on stage, Deke lost himself in the music, in the crowd, in the sheer electricity shooting through the air. Until he looked down. And saw her.
* * *
Working along the outside edges of the crowd, Quin was drawn inexorably toward the stage. Like a moth to a flame. A bee to honey. Ants to a picnic. She was a walking cliché. Reaching the corner of the stage, she was no closer to forming a plan.
Time was running out. She needed to do something. And fast. The girls lined up in front of the stage caught Quin’s eye. They all had big signs with printed messages on cardboard. And just like that, a plan popped into her head.
“Can I borrow your sign?” she asked the girl nearest her, all but yelling over the music blaring from nearby speakers.
The girl’s eyes widened. “I recognize you! You’re Deacon’s Christmas cop. The one he fell in love with.”
Wait. What? How could people know about her, about De
acon? Then it occurred to her—the press releases from the record-company PR department, and the statement from some executive the CPS people had shown her. She wondered if Deke knew they were still linked, and if he’d care.
“Yes,” Quin said. “I need your sign, okay?”
The girl held out the piece of cardboard. “What’cha gonna do with it?”
“Try to hold on to the best thing that ever happened to me!” Quin grabbed the black Sharpie pen she habitually shoved in her hip pocket to mark evidence and scribbled on the cardboard. She waited until Deke looked her direction and then she hoisted the sign high over her head.
I’m Sorry!!!!
He stared right through her, his face blank. She needed another sign. Quin looked around but her new friend was already on the case. The girl passed over another piece of cardboard and Quin scribbled.
When Deke glanced her way, she was ready.
I Was Wrong. All Along.
He turned his back to the audience to do a riff with Dillon on the keyboard, which gave her time to gather more signs and scribble furiously. When he faced the crowd again, she moved to stand directly in front of him, her new girl posse hard on her heels.
I Didn’t Give You A Chance To Explain. Did I Mention I’m Sorry?
He still ignored her.
I Fixed It.
That got a narrowing of his eyes.
Noelle Will Be Home With You Tomorrow!
Did he just miss a chord? He was still singing but he’d stopped playing and his eyes bored into hers. She broke eye contact when she dipped her chin to write the next set of signs.
Before I Get Out Of Your Life For Good...
I Just Want You To Know...
I Love You
Deke continued crooning the words of the love song into the microphone, seemingly unmoved. She supposed that was her answer. This whole crazy, spur-of-the-moment deal had been a last-ditch effort. She offered him a smile that felt small, tentative and very, very sad—which was exactly how she felt.