by Luccia Gray
“May I go upstairs to see Jane?” I asked the admiral.
“Certainly not! Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said to you?”
“Jane needs me. She won’t be able to sleep.”
“She’ll sleep all right. I told Diana to make sure of it. Now listen to me, you foolish boy, this is what is going to happen, and you have no choice in the matter. As soon as Dr. Carter has seen Jane, you will take her to Wales, to her Cousin Mary’s home. No doubt Reverend Wharton will bring her to her senses. Meanwhile I’ll speak to the archbishop and John on Jane’s behalf. I’ll tell him she’s realised her folly, sent you away, and asked forgiveness. Once you take her to Kilpeck, you will leave Jane, for good. Go back to the navy. I’ll write you a recommendation for the admiralty. You’ll be dispatched far from England. Stay away for a few years. Forget about Jane.”
“Jane will never agree to your plan.”
“You’re right, Jane will never agree. She’s completely lost her mind. She’s absolutely infatuated with you. I should have realised when she chased you all the way to Jamaica that it would end in disaster. She won’t give you up. We both know that, don’t we?” He stared at me sternly. “That means you’ll have to leave her.”
“I’ll never abandon Jane.”
“Admit it, Lieutenant, you’ve lost her already. You’re both outlaws. You have no money and nowhere to go. If you don’t agree to my plan, I’ll send for the constable. Jane will return to the asylum and you’ll be imprisoned. You have no choice, I’m afraid.”
I held my head in my hands, trying to think of a solution. Was this the end of our journey? I had to find a way to keep us together. Annette and Leah had given me as much of the housekeeping money as they could spare, but I had already spent it all on the clothes, carriage and the inn for Jane’s escape.
“You have no choice, Kirkpatrick. Take Jane to Wales, to the Wharton’s, and leave her there. You will go to London, deliver my dispatch at the admiralty and you’ll be at sea by the end of the week. Well out of trouble.”
“What will happen to Jane?”
“I promise you we’ll look after her until John returns. Once you have gone, I have no doubt that he will forgive his mother. I give you my word Jane will not return to the asylum, and you must give me your word you will leave her and re-enlist in the navy.”
The only advantage of his proposal was that it would effectively take us away from the archbishop and John’s grasp, and buy me some time to think of a plan. I had no choice. I apologised to Charles and gave him my word.
The admiral squeezed my shoulder. “You’re doing the right thing. It’s the only way to save Jane.”
I told them I needed some fresh air, which was true. I walked out of their house before noon and returned to the Retreat, where I had some unfinished business. They were all in bed when I returned fourteen hours later. I went down to the servants’ quarters and slept for a few hours until daybreak.
I was helping myself to breakfast in the kitchen when the admiral informed me that he was travelling to Eyre Hall that very day to speak to the archbishop with his proposal.
Diana refused to allow me to see Jane upstairs, so she insisted on coming down. Jane lay on the couch in the drawing room, wrapped in warm blankets, dozing most of the time, while I wandered around the room devising a plan. Diana was engrossed in stitching the fabric in her embroidery hoop by the window. I had promised the admiral and his wife that I would keep away from Jane, so I had to wait for Diana to leave the room, which she did briefly on several occasions, to kiss Jane and remind her I loved her.
The blizzard had cleared, but heavy dark clouds stubbornly obscured the light of day. It would soon be raining. I busied myself by kindling the fire and glancing through the admiral’s bookshelves. I flicked through the pages of The Mariner’s New and Complete Naval Dictionary and came across an image of Lord Nelson. My thoughts turned to Captain Carrington, who saved my life by persuading me to return to Jane, when I had set my mind on dying in a naval battle. What would his advice be now? I watched Jane’s chest rise and fall as she slept peacefully and wondered if I needed to return to the navy to preserve her serenity. She opened her eyes, as if she had heard my thoughts, smiled and held out her hand. I swiped my lips over her wrist. Diana coughed. I pressed a kiss into her palm, placed her hand on the couch and stepped away.
I reached for a bulky Atlas of Great Britain from the bookcase. Inside it I found a large, folding, hand coloured map of England and Wales. I turned back the north of England and studied the south carefully, making a mental note of our trip to Wales and all the routes from Wales to Cornwall.
The house was as still as a graveyard while the rain ruthlessly whipped the walls and windows of Thorpe Hall, when Annette and Dr. Carter arrived after lunch.
***
Chapter VIII – Hell is Empty
Harry had received an urgent message from Admiral Fitzjames to visit Jane at Thorpe House, and he asked me to accompany him. I lied to the archbishop and asked him for permission to spend the day at the hospital. Fortunately, he agreed. When we arrived, a flustered Diana ushered us into the drawing room.
“Annette, Dr. Carter, I’m so glad you came. Poor Jane. She’s wasted, wasted and ruined. It’s dreadful. Disastrous.”
My heart skipped a beat when I saw Jane sitting on the couch, shivering, with a blanket covering her body. Her beautiful hair was gone, unevenly cut, and her eyes seemed too large for her shrunken face.
Michael jumped up and embraced me at once, with tears in his eyes, and then he shook Harry’s hand and told us he was glad we had come at last.
Jane turned to us and smiled with great effort. She said our names in a feeble voice and held out her hands. I sat by her side and hugged her.
Harry took her hand and asked, “Why aren’t you in bed, Jane?”
“I can’t…” Tears flooded her eyes as she looked at Michael. I took out a kerchief and wiped her tears. Michael turned towards the fireplace, holding on to the mantelpiece for support.
“The admiral won’t let Michael sit with me upstairs.”
Harry turned to Diana. “They were to be married…”
“They will never be married, Dr. Carter. You must know that by now. They are outlaws. There will be no marriage.”
Harry approached Michael, placing his hand on his hunched shoulder. “There must be something we can do, Michael.”
Michael turned with desperate eyes, embraced Harry, signalled to Diana, and shook his head. I realised I had to find a way of making sure we could speak without Diana’s presence.
“Diana, Jane is shivering. Perhaps you could you bring her some more blankets?”
“Of course, I’ll get some more. Dear me, she’s been trembling like a leaf all day. She’s chilled to the bone.”
As soon as Diana left the room, Michael knelt down by Jane’s side, took her hand in his and pressed it with urgent kisses. “Jane, my darling. I love you. Please get well. Whatever happens, I’ll find you. A hundred times if I have to.”
“What’s the matter, Michael? Why haven’t you spoken to me or sat with me?”
“They won’t let me. Don’t believe anything they say to you. I’ll never leave you. Never.”
“How can we help?” I asked.
“The admiral wants us to leave, as soon as Harry sees her,” said Michael.
“That’s probably a good idea,” I told him. “The archbishop is furious. He’s threatened to have you both arrested. He’ll be looking for you here soon.”
It pained me to see Michael look so helpless and downcast.
“And John will be back any day now. According to the archbishop, he’s on his way.”
Jane sighed. “Everything will be all right when John comes back.”
Michael shook his head and looked at Harry, who kneeled beside Jane. “Jane, this was all John’s doing. He planned it with the archbishop.”
“We don’t know that for sure, Harry,” I said.
“The archb
ishop told you himself. He’s acting under John’s orders.”
“The archbishop could be lying. John doesn’t know what he’s done to his mother, or to Eyre Hall,” I insisted.
“What has he done to Eyre Hall?” asked Jane.
We told Jane how he had moved in and taken over the running of the estate, dismissing all the staff who wouldn’t sign the testimonies against her.
“Only Leah, Cook, and Joseph, remain. The others refused to sign, so they were dismissed the very night you were taken to the asylum,” I told her.
“Leah, Cook and Joseph signed a testimony against me?” Michael returned to her side, wiping her tears.
“I’m afraid they did,” I said. “They had to, Jane, but they’re loyal to you. They helped Michael escape. Leah gave me every penny of her savings for Michael and Jane, as well as all the housekeeping money we could spare. They will do anything they can to help you.”
Michael looked away from Jane to me. “Thank Leah and tell her we will pay her back every last farthing.”
I nodded and turned to Jane. “I also had to sign it.”
“You too, Annette?”
I lowered my face to her lap. “The archbishop threatened to send Helen to the asylum unless I said you had convinced her you are her mother, because you are mad.”
Jane smoothed my hair and spoke absently. “Poor Helen. Where is she? I thought she was with you?”
“She’s at Lowood.”
Jane’s face contorted and she broke down. I moved away and Michael crushed her to his chest.
“That dreadful, dreadful place. Michael, she’s too frail. She won’t eat or sleep. She’ll die of melancholy.”
“Jane, don’t worry. When we’re safe, I’ll bring her back to you. I promise.”
I waited for Jane to stop crying. “Jane, I’ll visit her every week, I promise. I’ll make sure she’s well looked after. She’ll have everything she needs.”
Harry held her hand. “Jane, I’ll visit her too, to make sure she’s healthy. She’ll be well cared for. You have to look after yourself now.”
“What are you going to do?” Harry asked Michael. “The archbishop will find you here.”
“The admiral has suggested we go to Wales, to stay with Diana’s sister, Mary, and her husband, Reverend Wharton.”
“Good idea. That’s far enough away that the archbishop won’t follow you, yet, but when John arrives, he’ll move heaven and hell to get you back in the asylum, Jane. I’ll try to convince John, but the archbishop is greedy and powerful. He even suggested he should have married Jane himself, and none of this would have happened.”
“He’s going to pay for this,” said Michael.
Harry put his hand on Michael’s shoulder. “You have bigger fish to catch, Michael. You need to think of a way out fast. I’ve brought you some more money.” He put an envelope in Michael’s hand. “But you can’t hide in country inns forever.”
“I’ll pay you back.”
“There’s no hurry, Michael. You’ll need to find somewhere permanent to stay, as far away as possible from Eyre Hall. You’ll have to start a new life with new identities. You can’t return to Eyre Hall, at least not in the foreseeable future.”
Michael held Jane’s hand. “I know. I have a plan.”
“Good,” said Harry. “But Michael, don’t contact anyone you know. Including Adele or Susan. I mean it. No one, not even us, or they’ll find you.”
Diana came back into the room with a blanket and Michael moved away.
“Thank you, Diana,” said Harry. “Now I’d like to examine the patient. Could you all leave the room, please? Except Annette, she’s used to helping me at the hospital.”
Diana and Michael left the room and Harry proceeded to examine Jane.
“My goodness, Jane. You have lost too much weight. Please make sure you eat. Plenty of beef broth and stew, every day. I mean it.”
“I can hardly swallow.”
Harry asked her to open her mouth, and he examined her throat. “It’s sore. Why? Were you force fed at the asylum?”
“Only once. I screamed until my lungs were dry and my throat raw. I screamed for them to leave me alone. I can’t tell you how awful it was. They took my clothes away, hosed me with cold water, chained me to the walls, and they hit me, mercilessly.”
Harry held her hand. “Jane, I’m serious. You won’t get through the winter if you don’t eat, sleep and rest, and drink plenty of lemon juice and honey, for your throat.”
She nodded, but tears kept pouring down her cheeks. “I can’t understand what’s happened. I was at home, waiting for Michael to bring the wedding licence and suddenly they took me away to the asylum. I thought it was a nightmare, but every time I woke up, I was back in the room, shackled to the wall.”
Harry patted her hand. “Try to forget. You’re not there anymore. Michael will keep you safe, Jane.”
“Who will keep Michael safe? I can’t believe we’re outlaws. What shall we do? Where shall we go?”
Her breathing became erratic. Harry took her pulse.
“You must keep calm, Jane. Can you keep your food down?”
“I’ve hardly eaten since I left Eyre Hall.”
“Well, you must eat small amounts frequently.”
I had to wipe my own tears now, as Harry asked her more dreadful questions.
“Jane, I must ask you if you were forced, intimately.”
She nodded. “I don’t want Michael to know.”
“Jane, Michael will understand,” said Harry. I was silent, convinced Jane was right. I dreaded to imagine Michael’s reaction if he found out.
“I don’t want anyone else to know. Whatever happens, please don’t tell anyone. Promise me.”
“I promise, Jane. Now, tell me, this is important, how many men?”
“Just one and only once.”
“Who was it?” asked Harry. “One of the wardens?”
“A man named Mr. Poole. He told me he was the superintendent. He said his mother had worked at Thornfield Hall.” She turned to me. “That she looked after Bertha, your mother, Annette.”
“Grace Poole, her drunken caretaker, the one she mentions in the diary?”
“The very same.”
“Did you know her?”
“Yes, I knew a Grace Poole. She was a servant when I arrived at Thornfield Hall. I had heard that her son worked at Grimsby Retreat at the time, but I never met him, although he says he saw me there.”
“Did you see any ulcerations, pimples, or warts on this person?” asked Harry.
She broke down. I put my arms around her, and we both cried. Diana knocked on the door and pushed it ajar, asking if everything was all right or if we needed anything. I rushed to the door to make sure they didn’t come inside and told them we had nearly finished. Michael was standing behind Diana, his face contorted as he looked at Jane. Harry told them we needed nothing, and Diana closed the door.
Jane was right. It was best not to tell Michael. He would surely kill anyone who had had anything to do with Jane’s stay at the asylum if he found out, and that would get him into further trouble. Harry asked her again.
“I don’t think so,” she said, drying her tears, “but I can’t be sure.”
“I’ll need to examine you, to make sure. Lay back. It may be a little unpleasant, but I’ll be as quick as I can.”
Harry resumed his questions as he worked. “Are you sleeping well?”
“No. I can’t sleep because of the nightmares. If Michael could… but they won’t let him touch me.”
“Jane, you’ll need to take laudanum.”
“I can’t. Not again.”
“Only at night, and a very small dosage. You need to sleep or you’ll never recover. I’ll explain to Diana and Michael how it should be administered.”
Jane was limp and silent as Harry finished his examination. He finally concluded that she only needed food and rest.
Diana asked us if we wanted to stay for dinner, but w
e left shortly after. Neither of us wanted to speak to Diana, and it was torture watching Jane’s agonised face and Michael’s drawn expression.
On our return journey to Eyre Hall I asked Harry what was wrong with Jane.
“She’s in a state of shock. She’ll get better, I hope.” He shook his head. “How could John do this to his mother?”
“John doesn’t know exactly what’s happened or what condition she’s in.”
“No, and he better not find out, or he’ll have her locked up again. Moving to Wales is a good idea, but Reverend Wharton is a harder bone to pick than the admiral. Michael will have to act quickly.”
“If only I could make John understand; he wouldn’t want to do this to his mother.”
“You can’t be serious! You can’t be defending John. He always was a selfish conniving bastard, just like his father.”
“You don’t know him.” I regretted my words at once. There was a tense silence, until Harry broke it by asking me the question I had dreaded.
“He’s the one who kissed you first, isn’t he?”
My silence was a loud and clear answer. I didn’t want to hurt Harry, but I wouldn’t lie to him.
“You still love that monster?”
“I can make him understand.”
“Understand what? Look what he’s done to his mother, to Jane!”
“You’re being unfair. He didn’t do it.”
“But he consented to it.”
“He doesn’t know what happened.”
“He doesn’t know exactly how the archbishop’s managed it, you mean. Can’t you see it? He wants Eyre Hall and he wants his mother out of the way.”
“It was the archbishop’s doing. We can’t be sure until we speak to John.”
“God, you can be so naïve when you want to be. Don’t you care what happens to Jane and Michael?”
“Michael has money and he’s resourceful. They’ll find a way out.”
“John and the archbishop are having them hunted down as criminals. I’d say their chances of keeping safe are slim.”
“Harry, what else can we do to help them?”
“You could convince John to withdraw the accusations and let Jane and Michael marry and come back to Eyre Hall.”