This isn't news, I remind myself.
But then, there's a small break in the crowd, and I see where his smile is directed. I'm assaulted with the image of the pretty redhead he has his arm around. I watch as they exchange words, and her resulting smile.
My insides twist. I feel physically ill.
God, I'm pathetic. Here I am, over analyzing every part of our argument, and Sam has already forgotten it ever even occurred. In fact, it would appear he's already seeking out alternative company for tonight. The knowledge hits me like a brutal punch to the gut, my heart fracturing viciously.
I turn back around and push through the faceless bodies, back through the exit as tears prick behind my eyes.
Was this afternoon always supposed to be a one-time thing? Or is he just moving on because of our argument about Cam?
Maybe that is how this whole thing is supposed to work - that we hook up with each other but we can also hook up with whoever else we want.
Of course he's allowed to hook up with whoever he wants, why wouldn't he be? I have no claim on Sam, no matter how fiercely my heart wishes otherwise. If only the stupid organ could be as practical as my brain, but it seems that my heart and mind have a severely defective connection - faulty wiring - and they just can't seem to get on the same page.
As the seconds roll passed I feel more and more foolish for my reaction. Sam never made me any promises, and I don't know why even though I knew we couldn't be a couple, I seemed to have believed he wouldn't just go hit on some random girl right after we...
After all, Robin and I had been dating for months and he was still seeing other girls behind my back until we had "the conversation". And with Sam and me, there's no conversation to be had. There's a physical ache in my chest that just grows more and more potent with every step I take away from Sam and his pretty new companion.
I cross the street to get away from the drunken partiers lingering outside of the bar, grateful that the other side of the street is more quiet. I swipe at my cheeks angrily, furious at myself for being unable to stifle my pathetic tears. I just want to order ice cream from room service and cry in private.
No, I have no right to expect any kind of exclusivity from Sam. We can do whatever we want with whomever we want.
The only problem is that I don't want anyone else. But that's my problem alone.
I reach the quiet side of the street and start in the direction of our hotel.
"Well hi there, Sleepin' Beauty."
My breath catches in my throat and my heart stops beating. I freeze.
That voice. Those words.
It can't be.
I close my eyes and take a wheezing breath, wondering if it's finally happened - if I've completely lost my mind - because truthfully, that would be preferable to the alternative. But when my eyes open again, he steps out of the shadows.
Robin.
My brain tells my legs to run, tells my vocal chords to scream, but I can't. I can do nothing but stand there and stare in frozen dread.
"I missed you real bad, sweetheart," Robin drawls, taking the few steps that separate us.
I open my mouth and choke in air. I can't breathe. My heart is racing.
He takes two more steps toward me and I back up away from him until I feel the brick facade of a closed storefront. I want to scream. I want to run. At the very least, I want to fucking form words! To ask him how the hell he knew I was in Miami, to ask him what he's going to do to me, to beg him to leave me alone. He's violating his restraining order! Doesn't he know that? He could be arrested! He should be arrested!
But I say none of these things, I simply stare at him in terror, my eyes clouded with tears, unblinking and mouth agape. My lungs burn with the need to take a deep breath, but I can't force the necessary inhale, I can only take in short, gasping breaths. Robin dips his head and I turn my face away and clench my eyes shut.
"I said I missed you real bad, sweetheart," he repeats, his voice oozing with disapproval at my reaction to his presence.
What the hell was he expecting? For me to jump willingly into his arms?
I cringe when his lips make contact with my cheek, and he steps forward again so that he's right up against me.
I need to get out of here!
I twist away in revulsion, trying and get him to back away, and he lifts his mouth from my face, but doesn't release me.
"I think we've had enough time apart, darlin'. I forgive you for what you did - all those lies you spread about me. I still love you. No matter what. I'll never let you go sweetheart, and I miss you so damn much it's makin' me crazy," he says softly, but his hands grip my upper arms savagely, his fingers digging painfully into my skin.
I inhale a desperate gasping breath and whimper. I close my eyes and count backwards from ten, but Robin crashes his mouth into mine, kissing me hard, and I don't kiss him back, I just stand there bonelessly with my eyes closed, completely and utterly terror stricken.
Ten, nine, eight...
His lips drag down my neck, sucking and biting, hard enough that I know they will leave marks. And that is what he wants, of course - to mark me. To remind me that no matter what I do, no matter how far away I get, and no matter how much time passes, that I will always belong to him in this terrible way. Because even the marks that have healed - they've emotionally scarred me deeper than any physical mark ever could, just as surely as these will tonight.
Please!
Please leave me alone! Please don't touch me! Please let me go!
I beg and plead, but the words remain trapped inside me. I still can't vocalize a single thing.
And then it happens. My mind drifts, just like I'd programmed it to do. My eyes open, but they don't see. I am elsewhere. I'm not with Cam though. No, right now, my mind has rewound the day. I am not on the quiet side of an otherwise busy street, less than half a block from my hotel as my worst nightmare runs rough hands all over my body and works his vicious mouth down my neck. Instead, I am in Sam's hotel room, smiling and laughing as he touches me, kisses me, and tells me that I make him feel like the God I know him to be.
And then he's there. Not just in my mind, but in my reality. Sam has exited the bar across the street and is looking around, seemingly searching for something, or someone.
"I missed you so fuckin' much, sweetheart," Robin growls, but I barely even hear him.
Sam finds me, and our eyes lock.
Thank you, God.
I can't move, I can't scream, I can't do anything at all, but stare at Sam's horrified expression and wait for him to help me. I'm past my desperation to keep Sam out of my troubles for his own protection. I've gone into survival mode, and I need Sam to save me from my monster. To be my hero - my knight in shining armor - and drag me out of this hell.
But he doesn't run over. Instead, his features screw up into a disgusted scowl and his head shakes once in disapproval before he turns and walks right back into the bar.
I gasp. He's not going to help me.
It finally registers that Sam didn't recognize Robin by the back of his freaking head. And why would he? He's seen his photo on Facebook once. From the look on his face, one thing is clear - Sam is disgusted with me. He thinks I am here - in this monster's arms - by choice.
This snaps me back to reality.
"Please stop," I croak.
Robin startles, his face lifting in consternation as he meets my eyes. "You think you have the right to tell me to stop? After everything you put me through?! When will you get it through your pretty fuckin' head? You're mine!" he hisses through clenched teeth and then pushes me hard back into the wall and smashes his lips against mine.
No!
I push at his chest, shoving hard, and he's too big and strong for me to get free, but his mouth releases mine. I take the opportunity to take a deep, somewhat steadying breath.
"Please leave me alone, Robin! You're not allowed to be within-"
"Don't you quote that fuckin' restrainin' order at me! That thing is
your fuckin' fault!" he growls. His enormous hand covers my mouth and then I'm being grabbed and shoved, and before I can even register what's happening, I'm practically thrown into an empty alley - presumably where he'd been hiding in the first place. My bag is lost somewhere in the struggle, and I worry I'll need my pills, but my worry is cut short, I have bigger things to deal with right now, literally.
He's on me immediately, but I fight back. I shove at him, but he's too strong, and I see excitement flash in his eyes and I remember - he likes the fighting. I start sobbing defeatedly.
How is this happening right now? How are we here?
"Why do you always have to make everything so damn hard?! Don't you know how much I fuckin' love you?! Damn it!" he shouts and then closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.
I just blink at him through my tears, in stunned fear, waiting. Robin's eyes open, intently serious.
"When your daddy told me you were comin' down here, I figured it was time to stop this bullshit. I mean, you came to Florida, sweetheart, haven't you been missin' me?" he asks carefully. And I know what he wants to hear. I know the right answer. But I can't give it to him. I can't give him even the smallest thread to start pulling, the ammo to say that I asked for it, that I wanted him.
"No."
I watch the outrage draw over his face.
"No. Rob, we broke up. I ain't yours. You hurt me! You raped me!" I say the words I was never before able to say, never directly to his face. "Please let me go, please! If you ever loved me at all, just let me go. I won't even tell anyone you were here, I won't get you in trouble, just please don't hurt me!" I beg him. I plead with my words and with my eyes, and for a moment, I can't be sure if I'm reaching him or not.
But then his eyes narrow, and the Robin I know is clear and present.
"You ain't mine?! You crazy bitch! I hurt you?! How fuckin' dare you! Everything I ever did was because you wanted me to!"
"No!" I cry, but his hands are everywhere and he presses his forearm over my mouth so I can't cry out again. His other hand starts shoving under my skirt.
No. No fucking way! I snap back into action.
I bring my knee up to his groin, but Robin twists, and the contact is mitigated. Still, he grunts in pain, and I take the opportunity, grabbing onto my chance to get away. I wrench out of his grip and spin away from the wall, but Robin has a hold of my wrist and he tugs hard, slamming me back into the bricks. I cry out in pain as the side of my face meets the rough, hard surface. My vision blurs, but only for a moment, and I don't have time to recover. I try to twist away again, but my wrist is still caught in the vise of Robin's grip.
Forty feet away I see Sam rushing past the alley. I know it's him, I'd know that hurried gait anywhere, and I scream.
"Sa-!"
But Robin's hand is over my mouth again and the other grabs my hair, yanking hard until my scalp stings with searing pain, my head forcibly tilted back until I'm staring up into hazel eyes full of contempt.
"Sam?" he asks, and I know he can see the panic in my eyes that he'd heard what I'd screamed. "Is that the loser you've been followin' around like a stupid fuckin' puppy?" he snarls.
Holy shit, has he been following me? For how long? Days?
I'm terrified, completely trapped in his hold, and my pulse is too fast. Robin removes his hand from my face, and still clutching my hair painfully, his other hand begins what is surely meant to be a sensual caress under my skirt, and though I twist and squirm, his hold is too strong, and he bunches my skirt up around my waist.
I inhale gasping breaths, and they come faster and faster as my entire body breaks out in a cold sweat. I can't let myself succumb to panic.
What if I pass out? What will he do to me then?!
"P-please, Rob... I need... my... medi... cation," I choke out.
Robin scowls. "Right, your panic attack bullshit. Anything for a little attention, huh, Sleepin' Beauty? You'll be fine, you're with your man, I'll take care of you."
I close my eyes and let the tears stream down my face - I've no other choice - as I focus every ounce of my energy on trying to control my breathing. I cringe as Robin's callused fingers find the scar he gave me barely a year ago and my eyes fly open to find him smirking in satisfaction.
"It scarred," he says, obviously pleased. "See, Rory? You'll always be mine. My mark is here to remind you in case you ever forget again." He follows the jagged line of the scar tissue, dipping his fingers into my panties.
"P-please, don't," I beg once more.
"Tell me, sweetheart, has anyone else seen my mark? This Sam?" he asks, deceptively calm, but I know the threat is there. "Did you fuck him?" he asks, "even though you belong to me?"
"Yes!" I scream defiantly. I know I should've denied it, but I don't care. I know he'll probably kill me now - beat me to death or strangle me - but if I lied he would've just raped me anyway, and I'd rather be dead than have him inside me even one. more. goddamned. time.
"You fuckin' whore!" Robin snarls and he grabs me by the neck and slams me back into the wall once again - the unforgiving brick an effective weapon. I feel all the air forced from my body as I make contact and my head swims with dizziness as I stumble to find my footing.
But it doesn't matter, I'm lifted from the ground anyway as Robin's hand tightens around my neck, choking out any air I had left. My eyes spring open in renewed terror as I realize that, yes, this time, he really is going to kill me, and as his free hand frantically rips at my panties, I realize that he's going to rape me one last time as he does.
And then he's off of me, and I'm suddenly released, but can't catch my footing and I stagger to the floor. There's a whirlwind of commotion in front of me, and someone else is there, and I can hear grunts and muttered curses, but it takes me a moment to understand that the second man is Sam, and that he and Robin are fighting.
"Tuck, over here!" Sam calls out behind him as he lands a solid punch to Robin's jaw. While he's off balance from the hit, Sam kicks out his leg and Robin falls to the ground.
Sam is immediately on top of him, straddling him and landing punch after punch. I still can't move, I simply look on in horror, knowing I should stop Sam before he kills Robin, but unable to bring myself to help a man who I believe with all my heart was about to kill me, and who was certainly about to rape me.
Suddenly more people are flocking into the alley, but still I can't can't get up, I can't even move. I can see that Tucker is in front, and he holds back whoever is behind him.
"Stay here. Keep an eye on the girls," Tuck says to Andrew and presumably Dave, Luke and Marshall as well, before he runs down the alley toward us.
I don't make eye contact with him, I'm too ashamed, and when Tuck approaches me, irrationally I cower against the wall and hug my knees to my chest with a whimper. I don't raise my eyes above his waist, but I can sense his hesitation in his stance, at a loss for what to do with me. I can only imagine what he must think of me right now, and I see him change direction to where Sam hovers over a barely conscious Robin just five or so feet away.
"What the actual fuck?" Tucker demands.
"He attacked Rory," Sam says simply. "Keep him down. He doesn't get up," he instructs, his voice tremulous and deathly serious, belying his barely contained rage.
Sam approaches me cautiously, crouching down so that we're eye to eye. I meet his midnight blues and despite their devastation, I feel immediate relief.
I'm safe.
My arms fling around his neck as I get up onto my knees, launching myself into his arms, and Sam catches me, squeezing me tight. Safe.
"He found me," I sob over and over, unable to elaborate, drenching Sam in my tears. "I don't know how, but he found me, he found me..."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," Sam whispers over and over in response. What he's sorry for, I can't imagine, but I can't break my rambling sobs to ask him, I just bury my face in his shirt and cry, repeating myself endlessly.
I draw streng
th from the innate security of Sam's embrace, and try to get ahold of myself. When I lift my head, Sam is still just holding me, watching me cautiously. Robin is laying on the ground, bloodied but awake, with Tucker's shoe pressed atop his neck in warning. No one else is in the alley, but I suspect the rest of our group is lingering just out of sight.
Sam begins to look me over, holding my face and brushing his thumb over the side of my cheek where it hit the brick wall. He winces with me when he touches what will surely be an ugly bruise.
"I'm sorry," he whispers again, before proceeding to lift each of my arms, turning them over in turn to search for injuries, but I only have some scrapes and bruises. I've had far worse.
His gaze continues down, and he reaches for my skirt and pulls it down to cover my thighs. I hadn't even been mindful of the fact that I was sitting here, completely indecent. When Sam completes his inspection his eyes return to mine. He looks so guilty, as if he was the one who attacked me and not Robin.
"Tell me you're okay," he pleads.
I nod. "I'm okay," I breathe.
"I'm so sorry, Ror. I'm such a fucking idiot. I came outside to look for you and... I saw you with him, but I didn't realize - I just thought you were with some guy and I just..." he rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I'm so fucking sorry."
I want to ask him why he's sorry, to absolve him of his unearned guilt, but I'm too shaken to form a comprehensive thought, let alone speak again. Before I can form a response, Sam slides his arm under my thighs and I'm being scooped up off the ground. I start trembling again when Robin manages a to speak.
"Some guy?! I'm her fuckin' boyfriend!" Robin growls belligerently from the ground. "You're fuckin' mine Rory! You hear me, you-"
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