“Hey, gurl,” she answered in a cheery voice.
I paused for a second. I hated that I had to be the bearer of bad news, so I just busted out crying.
“Sierra, what’s wrong, gurl? Is it Alijah?” she asked in a concerned tone.
“Sniff . . . sniff . . . Symone, it’s Darryl.” I could barely get the words out.
“Gurl, what his crazy ass done did now? Is he there with you?”
“Symone, he’s dead. He got shot earlier.”
“Sierra, stop playin’ like that. The joke is over; now put that nigga on the phone!”
“I’m dead-ass serious. He’s dead.”
“I don’t believe you. He just left here ’bout two hours ago to go handle some business. Hold on while I call him on three-way. You’ll see; he’s alive.”
I didn’t respond. I knew she was in denial, and that was just her way of convincing herself he was alive. We sat on the phone while she dialed his number. The phone rang about seven times before his voice mail kicked in. I wept in silence for the fact that I wouldn’t be hearing his voice again. It must’ve finally hit Symone because she started to holler. I heard the grief in her voice, and I couldn’t take it no more.
“Symone, Symone.”
Still no answer.
I hoped she didn’t fall out like Alijah had. I continued holding on until she came back on the phone.
“What happened to my baby? Tell me sump’n.”
“I don’t know the whole story. All I know is they went ’round Church Hill, they got to shooting, and Darryl got hit up a couple of times.” I kept it simple. I wasn’t going to implicate my man in any of this. He could tell her exactly what happened.
We talked some more; then I hung up. I felt bad for her. They were so into each other. I felt her pain. In reality, that could’ve been me in her shoes.
I curled up beside my boo on the couch, thanking God it wasn’t him. I cut the television on to catch the 10:00 p.m. news on CBS. There it was on the screen. The anchor lady was standing in front of a house on Thirty-third Street.
“Yes, Sam, I’m standing in front of the house where a deadly massacre happened earlier today. Five young men were found on the inside dead after neighbors alerted the police about gunshots fired. Here goes the chief of police for the Richmond PD.”
“Chief Dwyer, could you tell us anything about what happened here earlier?”
“Ms. Ross, at the moment, we’re still investigating. We’re looking into some promising leads, but we’re pretty sure it was drug related at this time. But like I said earlier, we’re still early in the investigation, and we will put all our resources to bring the person or persons responsible for this heinous crime to justice. We will not tolerate this kind of behavior in our city. Beware, whoever you are. We’re coming for you,” he said and pointed in the camera.
He looked straight in the camera as if he knew who he was directing his message to. I felt he had eyes that could reach all the way into my living room.
I dozed off into darkness, thinking, Will it ever end, or is it just the beginning of more drama to come?
Alijah Jackson
The day following Darryl’s death was a standstill for me. I didn’t know if I was coming or going; liquor and weed became my best friends. Chuck went up top to handle his funeral arrangements. I should’ve made that trip, but truth is, I was not able to face his moms, at least not yet.
I ended up staying at the crib with Shayna. I don’t know what brought me there. I just needed to be near someone who knew where we were coming from. He was the best man at our wedding. Even though he wasn’t feeling Shayna, he gave me his blessing and played his position.
Sierra had been calling. At first, she caught an attitude ’bout why I was over there and not at home with her. I shut her down instantly. I wasn’t feeling her coming at me sideways.
My mom called trying to convince me to come home. It was pissing me off. Everyone believed that they knew what was best for me. Well, if they knew so damn much, give me my brotha back! Darryl was a loyal partner, friend, and brotha. He was the last of a dying breed. I wanted revenge, but the niggas were all dead. I was gon’ miss him. Heaven just received a soldier.
“Take care of my homie,” I said, looking up to the sky, not knowing who was listening.
I got it together long enough to go check on shorty. Symone was two months pregnant with his seed, and he didn’t even know. It was funny, that’s all he used to joke about. It was a shame he wasn’t going to be there to help raise his seed. I told her not to trip ’bout nothing; I got her. I was going to make sure they were well taken care of.
His funeral was exactly a week from the day he got killed, so I made the trip up top. A few homies volunteered to go down south and turn it upside down. I assured them everything was under control. I couldn’t risk making the situation worse than what it was. Saleem already told me that the street was talking.
After I left Harlem, I made the hardest trip I ever made—to Ms. Lulu’s crib. I knew she had a lot of questions and was waiting to see my face. I wasn’t ready to tell her the naked truth.
“Good to see you, Alijah,” she greeted me with a hug. She held me longer than she intended to.
“I know it’s been awhile.”
I sat down on the sofa beside her. I remembered when Darryl bought it for her after he bought her the house. He was so happy to be the first one of his six siblings that was able to buy her a crib.
“Alijah, tell me someting, anyting. What happen down dere wit’ mi bwoy,” she pleaded in her Trinidadian accent, tears streaming down her face.
I guess you can call me a coward, but I couldn’t come out and tell her I was the reason why her son was dead. I knew they were looking for someone to blame, and I just wasn’t ready. I was already dealing with my own guilt of not being there to watch his back. Instead, I was enjoying the feeling of killing dude while my brotha was getting killed.
“Aunt Lulu, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I said while I rubbed her back.
“Listen to me, baby,” she said and took my hand. Her hands were ice cold, and she was trembling.
“Promise me, Alijah, to leave those streets alone. I know what y’all was out there doing. His daddy lived the same life and didn’t even live to see twenty-five. Instead, I had to fend fo’ myself. Please, don’t put yo’ mama through this pain that I’m feelin’ right now,” she begged.
Her words broke my heart even more. I hugged her and let loose. I shed tears for my homie. We sat in silence for a little while until the doorbell rang. It was Priscilla, Darryl’s younger cousin. She sashayed in and gave me a disgusted look.
“What’s good with you, ma, lookin’ at a nigga like you crazy?”
“Bwoy, please, where the fuck you was at when my cousin got killed?”
I wasn’t going to disrespect Aunt Lulu, but as soon as she got up to answer the telephone, I dug in that ass.
“Yo, B, don’t come at me like that. You know I love your cuz like a brotha. I would give my life fo’ that nigga. Believe that, so stop trippin’. Yo, so when you gon’ let me tap that ass?”
“I knew you were always crazy. Don’t you have a wife and a bitch on the side? I’d say you have your hands full,” she said, licking her lips.
“Yo, ma, it’s just ’bout you and me, and since we’re both grown, let’s do what we been meaning to do fo’ a while now,” I said, grabbing my dick.
I was happy that her aunty didn’t bust up in there. That gave me enough time to reel Priscilla into my trap. We eventually decided to leave and head for the Telly. Shorty gave me some head, and I beat the pussy up. It helped to relieve some of my stress. We went at it all night until we both fell out.
I gave her my cell to holla at me. I wouldn’t mind fucking her on the regular. I couldn’t be anything to her but a cutty buddy, ’cause even though we were like family, she was just like the rest of them hoes. Mike Jones said it best, “Back then they didn’t want me; now I’m hot they all on me.
” She was out of luck because the only bitch I was wifeing was Sierra.
I got sharp for the funeral. It was my boy’s day, and I had to represent. Sierra and Symone had already left with Priscilla. By the time I got to the church, the parking lot was full. I knew my boy had a lot of fans, but it was like the whole dope boys’ fraternity was present, along with all the gangsta chicks. I knew he was looking down with pride and saying, “Damn, I’m the man.”
I smiled and looked up to the sky and uttered, “Yea, partner, you that nigga.”
I peeped niggas from Yonkers, White Plains, Harlem, and Brooklyn. When I walked up, I felt like a celebrity. People were running toward me to pay their respect. I kind of got paranoid even though I had my vest on and my nine on my waist. I peeped my fam and walked over to them. We then walked in together. I instantly peeped some DTs although they had plain clothes on, I guess trying to disguise themselves, but I could smell them a mile way.
I sat beside Mom-dukes and Aunt Lulu. Shayna was also seated beside them. I tried looking around for Sierra and Symone, but the church was so full, I didn’t see them. I loved the fact that the hood was showing so much love.
The pastor finally rolled in in a cheap-ass blue suit, like he was a cheap version of Snoop Dogg. Man, Darryl was really laughing as he looked down on this clown. He talked about my nigga like he knew him personally. He kept telling all the young thugs to put their weapons down and pick up the Bible as their sword. All due respect to the pastor, but in my world, if you got caught slipping, the Bible wasn’t goin’ to protect you. You needed a loaded burner. The old heads were clapping and cheering him on in agreement.
He finally ended the service. I was ready to put my man to rest. My head was pounding, and I was ready to get twisted. We had a get-together planned at a little spot on Bay Chester. It wasn’t anything big, just a couple of homies celebrating the life of a soldier.
Shayna’s crazy tail started some beef with Sierra before we left the church. I had to check that bitch in front of everybody, and I didn’t give a fuck. I was definitely tired of that stalking-ass bitch. She liked to show her ass and didn’t give a fuck. I wanted that bitch out of my life for good!
I was happy that the day was finally over. We all sat around smoking and drinking and reminiscing on the good times that we had. He was gone but not forgotten.
Sierra Rogers
I was trying my hardest to be patient, especially at a time when he was going through his boy’s death. Instead of him staying home so I could really be there for him, he was over at Shayna’s playing house. Nah, let me correct that; he needed “space.” He needed to make his damn mind up. One second, he hated that bitch, and then the next, he was in her face.
See, I wouldn’t be tripping if he had gone to one of his spots. Instead, he was laid the fuck up with this bitch. You can call me paranoid, but I felt like he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. I’d tried talking to him, but the end result was always the same. This nigga got fucking nerves calling me selfish.
Let’s get on the topic. I’d been faithful the entire time that we had been kicking it, while he railroaded me into believing that he was a single man; but truth was, he belonged to another bitch. Even though he didn’t man up ’bout Luscious, he wasn’t just chilling with her for no fucking conversation. Since he wanted to play games, he could do that on the next bitch’s time.
I turned my attention back to running my shop. I didn’t know it was so hectic when you ran your own joint. I’d also become Symone’s caretaker. She took dude’s death real hard. It was even harder because she was knocked up and didn’t even get a chance to let him know.
Me and Mo’ rallied around taking care of her, but our presence didn’t make a difference. She was falling deeper and deeper into depression. One time she swore that Darryl was rubbing her stomach. I had to shake her numerous times to get her out of her trance and back into reality.
We had to force her to eat. If not for herself, she had to do it for her baby’s sake. But she turned out luckier than other bitches in the same situation. Before Darryl died, he bought her a house and a brand-new car and left over two hundred thousand in a safe.
The dummy was talking about she was going to bring it to his mom. I corrected her real fast. What they didn’t know wasn’t going to hurt them. Plus, times was too hard out there, especially for a young black female knocked up without a baby daddy. Unless she wanted to go join the long line waiting on government money the first of the month, she better quit talking crazy and come to her senses real fast.
Symone wasn’t too eager to go the funeral. She hadn’t met any of his family except for Priscilla, and I really hoped his mother was nothing like Alijah’s mom. I was tired of preaching to her, but she was my girl, and I wanted her to have a backbone. It was too late for her to be scared. Either his family accepted her and the baby, or it was their loss. A bitch of my caliber wouldn’t give a fuck. I would’ve told them motherfuckas to kiss my black ass real fast without giving it a thought.
I decided to go to the funeral with her even though I knew Shayna was going to be there, but fuck that bitch. I had to be there for my bitch. I drove to New York. I loved being up there, but the traffic was tighter than a sealed window. Yellow Cabs were all over the place like they owned the damn streets.
Priscilla invited us to stay with her, but I turned it down. Shorty was cool peoples and all, but until I found out for a fact that she and Alijah were nothing but friends, I wouldn’t get down like that with her. Bitches from New York were grimy just like the niggas. I be damned if I let a bitch play me close to get closer to my man.
We found a motel on Bay Chester Avenue. It wasn’t no Holiday Inn, but it was clean enough to stay at for the night. We decided just get one room with double beds. Me and Mo’ shared a bed, and Symone took the other one. It felt good just chilling with the girls; something I missed doing with Neisha.
We got settled in. It had been a long day. I was not only physically drained, but also emotionally. My personal life was weighing down on me. I tried to hide my feelings from the girls, but I was tearing up on the inside. I hadn’t spoken to Alijah since he left Richmond two days earlier. I tried calling his phone but got no answer. I was going to give him the business after Darryl got buried because I was fucking tired of his bullshit!
Alijah finally called to see where we were. We drove to his house before we left for the church.
I brought me a black Vera Wang minidress and a black pair of Jimmy Choo pumps. Li’l Mo’ hooked my hair up with a twenty piece sewn in. Instead of going to a funeral, I should be on my way to a photo shoot overseas. Lol.
Mo’ had on a long Versace dress that generously hugged her curves, and her hair was pinned up in a Chinese bun. Symone wore a black pinstriped pantsuit. I hooked her hair up on a simple but cute flat twist with a curly ponytail. If you asked me, we looked damn good!
When we got to the church, the line of cars went as far back as two blocks long. The one-way street was turned into a roadblock. We sat waiting to get in. By the looks of things, one would’ve thought that T.I. or Young Jeezy was in the house. I been to a lot of funerals, unfortunately, but those up north folks were getting their shine on.
Symone started to bawl as soon as we stepped foot in the door. I felt like crying too, but I kept it together for my girl. Mo’ took her to go view his body; I couldn’t face him. I didn’t want to remember him lying in a casket, and I was not good at saying good-bye.
The ceremony was long and drawn out. I had a feeling the pastor was paid for his performance. He was behaving like he was geeked up. The people felt him, though. Every statement that he started, they ended it with “amen.” Outbursts were heard throughout the church. Darryl was truly missed.
When it finally ended, that’s when I spotted Alijah. He was standing with his mom and who I assumed was Darryl’s mom, and none other than Shayna. Mo’ must’ve spotted them too.
“Let’s go, Sierra. Don’t study that,” she said, pulling m
y arm.
The crowd was stagnant. Everyone was trying to pay their respects to the family. From what I saw, he had a big family. I saw Shayna pushing through the crowd coming toward me. I braced myself for the drama that was getting ready to kick off.
“Well well well, if it isn’t the bitch that broke my marriage up. What the hell are you doing here?” she said, looking me up and down.
“Well well well, if it isn’t the wretch whose husband loves making love to meeee. I’m here to pay my respect to Darryl and support my man.”
“Well, you’re not welcome here. He’s still my husband, and by the looks of it, he’s here with me.”
I took a step closer. “Listen, bitch! I’ma ask you to get outta my fuckin’ face before I forget where the fuck I am and tear your ass up in here,” I said and balled up my fist.
“This is not over by a long shot,” she said and strolled off into the crowd.
“Count on it, bitch. I got you the next time we meet,” I yelled, not giving a fuck who heard, and by the looks, everyone did. “Gurl, do you believe that bitch just stepped to me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Don’t pay that miserable bitch no mind. Let her have him.” Symone’s ass blurted out that dumb-ass shit.
I wasn’t going to hold that against her; she wasn’t in her right frame of mind.
“Fuck that, Sierra. I ’on’t wanna be all up in yo’ B.I., but I’m ready to beat that bitch ass my damn self,” Mo’ said.
Alijah must’ve spotted what went down, because when I looked back, he was all in her face yelling. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I knew he was checking that bitch.
“C’mon, y’all, let’s get this over with.”
We walked into the cold air. It was only November, but it felt like mid-February. We forgot to take our coats, trying to look cute and all, and we were freezing our ass off.
The cemetery was more crowded than the church. We couldn’t get close to the casket. Symone was back on her routine, crying and shaking. A few hood buggers rolled by and rolled their eyes at us. They must be some of Darryl’s fans. They hated on Symone and kept it moving. They must have sensed trouble was in the air. I didn’t give a fuck if we were on their turf and outnumbered. I was already pissed and was ready to pounce on anyone who stood in my fucking path.
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