“Oh, working in the theater was more fun than I expected.” Then he nodded in my direction. “I’m sure it was because of you.”
I smiled up at him. “I aim to please.”
He chuckled. “But I love to travel. The riverboats would be the perfect combination. Travel, entertainment…”
“It’d be exhausting. And it wouldn’t be the same without Roland and everyone, trying to break in with a new group.”
We were approaching the theater and instinctively I hung back. The pain in my chest had begun to tighten again, the pressure on my shoulders. He stopped and turned to me.
“Come home with me,” he said. “I’ll figure out a way to get you back in the morning.”
I looked into his blue eyes and remembered that clean white room, being wrapped in his arms. Everything in me longed for the comfort and safety he promised.
“I can’t not go back. Teeny wouldn’t know what to think, and they’d worry.”
He breathed and pulled me close. I clutched his coat sleeve and thought.
“Maybe you could stay with me?”
He held me back, looking in my eyes. “But what about Teeny?”
“I think she can sleep with Evie or Rosa tonight.”
“Let me gather some things first. Is that okay?”
I nodded, and he leaned down to kiss me before he left. My eyes fluttered closed and I focused on the soft brush of his skin across mine. So gentle, yet so powerful. He was smiling as he set off toward his apartment, waving back before disappearing around the corner. I smiled and walked to the heavy metal door, pausing to place my fingertips on the scars he’d left there the night I was in danger. He was so determined to save me, he’d tried to break through a metal door. My eyes pricked, and I shook my head.
Inside, I hastened to our room and found Teeny lying on her stomach reading one of Rosa’s books. I walked over and sat beside her, rubbing her lower back. She didn’t look up. My rubbing turned to gentle shaking, and she dropped the book to stare at me.
“Would you mind sleeping in Rosa’s room tonight?” I asked.
Her eyes widened in fear. “Is he back?”
“No!” I said, quickly pulling her to me. “No. I just…”
“You want the room to yourself?” She made a pout.
I smiled and smoothed her hair back. “Just for tonight. It’s nothing to do with you.”
I stood and walked to the closet, removing the coat and hat. I slipped off my blouse and skirt and got her to untie my corset. I pulled the ever-present dressing gown over my light chemise, then I walked back to my table and began brushing my hair. In a few strokes it was silky again, and I leaned forward pinching my cheeks. I dipped my ring finger in the jar of clear jelly we used for our teeth and smoothed it over my lips.
Teeny swung her legs off the bed and sat up, watching my reflection in the mirror. “Is someone coming?”
I stopped and looked at her, trying to think of a proper excuse, but a soft tapping on the door precluded any explanation. She opened it to Beau, who was smiling and holding an iris. He chuckled and lowered it, and she turned back to me, eyes slanted.
“Don’t say anything. Please.”
She shook her head and exhaled, grabbing the book off the bed and pushing past him into the hall. I frowned at her departure, but caught Beau’s arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind us.
He swept me into another kiss, and I gently slid my hands up to his neck. He tasted like cool peppermint, and my fingers moved into his soft brown hair as his hands pulled my waist closer to his. I opened my mouth and let him kiss me deeper. A delicious warmth spread across my middle, making me quiver. It hadn’t been a week since our disappointing first encounter, but new doors had been opened. And my body craved his as if nothing had gone wrong.
I turned my head and lay my cheek against his shoulder, holding my arms around his neck as waves of new sensations passed through me. For several moments we stayed that way, our bodies molded together, breathing in and out, and I dreamed of spending a lifetime with him. Once again that longing tugged on me. I wanted the life he offered so badly. With a deep sigh, I released him, turning back to survey my small room, the tiny bed, the one chair.
“It’s not much different from yours. It’s just all closer together. And no view.” I motioned toward the bed. “Your feet will probably hang off the end.”
He stepped forward to sit on it, placing the iris stem beside him. “I’ll bend my knees.”
I quickly knelt to help with his boots, but he caught me and pulled me to sit beside him. “You don’t have to do that.”
I picked up the blue flower and turned it in my fingers. “I don’t mind,” I smiled, looking up at him.
His lips tightened as he pulled his boot heel, one then the other. I studied his hands. The bandages were gone, but there were still faint red marks on his knuckles.
“I said I’d wait for your answer,” he said quietly. “I’m trying.”
With my free hand I reached out and touched his cheek. “Let’s save waiting for tomorrow.”
In one swift move, he dropped the boot and pulled me to him. We lay back on the bed as our lips found each others’. My heart was flying as he unbuttoned his shirt above me. I moved my hand to touch the bare skin of his chest, and a soft groan escaped his throat. His lips moved to my cheek and then my eyelids. My skin was so warm, and his scent was all around me. His fingers lightly made their way through the folds of my dressing gown, and my hands moved to help him, unfastening the tight enclosure at my breast.
I sighed when I was finally released, and his lips quickly left mine, passed my shoulder with a brief kiss, and then he paused above me. I watched his brow crease as he spread my velvet gown apart and gazed at my body. He’d never done this before, and I inhaled a shaky breath as I leaned up to slide my arms out of the long sleeves.
“Same as before,” I said, lying back with a nervous laugh. He glanced up at my eyes, confused. “I mean, as before in your room. It’s all I had on then.”
“But I went too quickly then. I didn’t look before I touched.”
He hesitated, and my heart beat so hard, I thought I might die. “I wish you’d touch me now.”
Instantly my wait was over. His lips found me through the thin gown, and a noise escaped my throat. The pressure rose in my stomach as he gathered the delicate fabric in his hands, up my legs, past my chest, and over my head.
“Oh, god,” I whispered as he continued kissing me. I caught his face and pulled it up to mine, hugging our bare chests together. “I can’t breathe.”
I felt him smile. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, kissing the top of my shoulder.
I slid my hands around his neck, and his went around my bare waist. Heat traveled from the center of my stomach down to the arches of my feet, and I almost collapsed when his mouth came down over mine. Our tongues curled briefly before he moved to trace a burning path from my jaw down the side of my neck. His hands worked hastily below, removing the last of his clothing.
“Gavin told me not to get in trouble,” I whispered. “What if I did?”
His answer came without hesitation. “Then you’d have to marry me.”
I quickly slipped off the bed and then followed him back between the cool sheets. Another touch, another kiss, and our bodies came together. There was no pain this time, only the most wonderful release. I drifted to sleep with strong arms around me, dreaming of a future that seemed more possible somehow than before.
* * *
A rough shaking was the next thing I knew and Gavin was standing over the bed frowning at us. I sat up fast, clutching my pillow over my naked chest. Beau’s arm was around my waist, and a quick survey of our surroundings revealed his clothes scattered everywhere and the blankets on the floor.
“That’s about what I expected,” Gavin said.
Beau roused at his voice and sat up as well. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I must’ve slept longer than I intended.”
Gavin frowned as Beau stood into his breeches. He grabbed his shirt and slipped his feet into his boots. I couldn’t believe how quickly he was almost completely dressed.
“Umm… nothing happened?” Beau said, a grin in his voice.
“Get to work,” Gavin groused.
In the commotion, I’d managed to pull the blankets from the floor over my body, and looking up, I caught Beau’s eye as he backed into the hall. He winked at me, and I couldn’t stop my smile in response.
“This is probably for the best,” Gavin continued, closing my door. “He won’t want you tonight.”
I froze. “Tonight!”
In one word, fear came crashing down on me hard. All the bliss I’d enjoyed with Beau was gone.
“You agreed to do this. I told you it wasn’t what I wanted, but you insisted on doing it anyway.”
I couldn’t move as I watched him standing beside my dressing table. “But I’ll have to tell him about this. He only pays for girls who are clean.”
“It’s true,” I said in a louder voice. “Nothing happened. And I didn’t think I was for sale.”
Gavin’s eyes lit with anger. “He pays by not shutting us down,” he said, stepping to the screen at the foot of my bed. Then he glared at me. “Why are you lying?”
I shook my head.
“I can’t keep interfering to protect you.” He paced back to my dressing table. “You can save yourself tonight.”
“I’m not lying.”
He stopped and looked straight at me. “Then get out of that bed and prove it. Show me the sheets.”
I didn’t move. “What would happen if I was lying?”
He shrugged. “She would go instead.”
Fear and resentment, fury at his utter lack of compassion or moral decency caused my voice to rise. “She’s just a little girl!”
“She’s not so little. And she’s not as valuable as you are.”
My teeth clenched, and I clutched the pillow over my naked body as I got out of the bed. I threw back the covers in defiance. “I stand by what I said. I’m still clean.”
He breathed and went to the door, but before he left he stopped. “Whatever happens, I gave you a choice. You made this decision.”
Chapter 19
Beau was missing the entire day, and it wasn’t until the final number that I saw him again. I was panicky knowing what was coming, and as we rushed together high above the audience, I nearly broke down and told him everything, begged him to take me away from this night. But if I didn’t go, she would. I had to face my terrible obligation, and I couldn’t entangle him in it.
His arm searched to hold my waist through the plumage, and I grasped his shoulders, lightly pressing my painted cheek to his. Our embrace was awkward, but my heart ached for it to last.
“I’m sorry I was gone today.” he whispered, kissing my temple, the top of my ear. “Mastiff sent me on so many long errands, and he has another for me after the show.”
My pulse quickened. I knew why Mastiff would be sending him away.
“All I could think of was you,” he looked into my eyes and smiled. “I’ll come back tonight if you’ll let me in.”
I smiled and nodded. Even with my promise hanging over me, all day my thoughts had drifted to last night—his strong arms around me, his gentle touch, how beautiful and amazing and completely different it had been when we came together. I lightly kissed his cheek once more as he helped me take my seat.
So many times this transition had seemed to take forever, and now it was flying past. I swallowed my tears wishing with everything in me that tonight could be different, that I could go down after this song, remove my costume and my makeup, brush my hair and wait for him to return to me. But I couldn’t.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, a frown touching his brow. “You seem troubled.”
“I’m okay,” I whispered, forcing a smile.
He lifted my palm to his lips, and again, tears threatened to spoil my makeup. I looked up at the ropes overhead and blinked them away. The bench began to move, and my smile turned rapturous for the final song. The music began, the light hit me, and my voice rang out as I soared over the dazzled audience. Glancing back, I saw him still standing there, a warm smile, holding the rope.
* * *
Rosa was waiting in my dressing room after the show to help me change. I was focused as I quickly removed my costumes and cleaned my face. She helped me pull out the pins and then brushed my hair.
“I rounded up as many undergarments as I could find,” she said under her breath. “The longer it takes him to get to you, the more time for it to work.”
I nodded, chewing my lip. It had to work. My throat was completely dry. So much depended on everything going exactly as planned tonight.
“He’s not coming to get you,” she continued. “You’ll have to go there alone and wait for him.”
I nodded again, looking down at the tiny gold band on my finger. I quickly slipped my arms into white, opera-length gloves.
“Remember,” she said, tying the final lace and turning me to face her. “Don’t touch anything.”
In Guy’s salon deep beneath the theater, the food was laid out on small platters all around us. A decanter of wine sat on the little table and by the chaise lounge was a tiny plate of fruit and a small bowl of what looked like powdered sugar to dip it in. My throat closed up knowing all of it could kill me.
My instructions to meet him were no doubt an effort to avoid another scene like the one before our previous encounter. I was sure Mastiff’s errand for Beau was also part of the plan. So I waited. I walked around the immaculately clean room inspecting all the food and drinks. I walked to the fireplace and inspected the little clocks and miniatures situated there. One was of a shepherd boy with light brown hair and blue eyes, and my thoughts traveled to Beau. I wondered where they’d sent him, and my thumb touched the tiny gold band through my glove. I ached for him.
Rosa had collected a floor-length gown, complete with corset, petticoat, and pantalets for me to wear. It was up to me to get some food or wine into Guy before he hurt me. I was starting to grow weary from the anticipation and dread when the door finally opened and he entered the room. My heart began to thud. He was already unfastening his waistcoat, but when he saw me, he paused and inhaled sharply. His green eyes narrowed.
“You look just like her.”
I didn’t know what he meant or what to say, but I wasn’t interested in finding out. My focus was on eating and drinking.
“I wanted to play dress up for you,” I said in a babyish voice. “You like it?”
His eyes took on an evil gleam, and he smiled, walking to me as he continued unbuttoning his coat. “We won’t waste time tonight. I’ve waited long enough.”
Panic tightened my chest. “But look at all these wonderful things! Surely you want to taste one?”
I gestured at the deadly small plates and platters, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. “We’ll eat after. No interruptions this time.”
His fingers flexed, and my throat grew tight as he crossed the room to me and grasped my waist. He turned me around to face the fireplace and quickly began unlacing my dress. My heart was pounding in my ears as my mind raced for any way to slow things down, to make him consume something.
“Then a glass of wine at least?”
I stepped out of his reach toward the small table. I lifted the decanter and poured a glass before turning to him. My dress was loosening with every movement now that my laces were undone.
“Drink it yourself,” he said as he sat to remove his boots. Once off, he paused a moment to study me. “You look so much like her.”
This time I grasped at his comment, hoping it would buy me time. “Who do I look like?”
He walked to me, lifted a dark lock and rolled it over his wrist. He pulled it to his nose and sniffed. “Your mother was a beautiful woman. Heartbreakingly beautiful.”
My pulse ticked up at his strange words, his
unexpected warmth. But he threw my hair behind my shoulder, instantly cold again. “She was also a thief and a liar.”
“I-I don’t know—”
“Your father came here, and she forgot everything we’d done for her. All the time we’d spent fixing her teeth and buying her dresses.”
“She was grateful,” I smiled, trying to bring the mood back around. “I remember her speaking fondly of you.”
“That’s a lie,” he snapped, and it was true. I’d never heard anyone speak of Guy. He was the best-kept evil secret at our cabaret. “She hated me. But I handled her.”
I was struggling to breathe smoothly. “Let’s have some wine. It’ll help us relax.”
“No.”
He jerked me around and pushed my dress forward, down my arms and to the floor. I yelped and reached to grip the mantle for balance.
“I used to imagine her as an Art Nouveau.” He turned me back around and studied my face then leaned in close and whispered. “Perhaps you could take her place.”
His mouth was just above my nose, and the faint scent of cloves was on his breath. Hot liquid rose in my throat. I didn’t understand his meaning, but I smiled.
“That sounds interesting. Here.” I lifted the glass of wine, hoping he didn’t notice my trembling hands, and I stepped back praying he would drink it. I held my breath as he raised it to his lips, but then he stopped and slammed the glass down.
“Ungrateful river rats. None of them would be here if it weren’t for me.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but I swiftly calculated how fast things were moving, how agitated he was, his strength. Time was slipping away, and I was losing the upper hand.
“I chose them. Hand-picked each of them off the streets where they were starving, living as thieves. And she turned them all against me. All to save that little pouf.”
“Maybe they wanted to thank you, but they didn’t know how.”
He glared at me, but unthinkably he snorted a bitter laugh and walked to the small table, dropping his cufflinks in the dish. I started to breathe again.
Rouge (#1 in the Cheveux Roux series) Page 19