Thirty Four
I sat at my desk, researching for a new client I had landed a couple of weeks ago. Kyle said there was no way we could pull a failing printer out from the brink, but I was determined to do it anyway. This was the test I needed to show Kyle and the rest of the team, the risk they were taking on me was worth it. It had been almost a month since I started at Vital, and I was eager to prove my worth.
There was no pressure from anyone except myself. I had wondered if I had leapfrogged into those positions at Imperium because I’d earned it, or because I was sleeping with the boss. Pulling this company from financial ruin to actually being profitable was what I demanded to prove to myself that I was good enough.
I no longer did anything that didn’t involve my job. I dedicated every minute to making sure I killed it with this position at Vital. But also, working took thoughts of David away. Not completely, that was impossible, but enough for me to forget how much being away from him hurt.
My phone buzzed beside me. I glanced at it, reading the screen. Yvette.
I picked up, laughing. “You know I’m busy, don’t you? You always have the worst timing.”
She laughed too. “You think I care that I’m interrupting your dream job? That’s funny.”
I smiled. “What’s up?”
“I was calling to make sure you hadn’t fallen off the planet. I haven’t talked to you in weeks.”
I got up from my desk and moved into one of the conference rooms. “I know. I’m sorry. I got my first failing company, and I wanted to dive in. How are you?”
“Good. Your boy is deciding on a director next week, so I was gearing up for that.”
The mention of David made me lower my tone. “It’s in the bag. You got this.”
“It’s between me and Annie. I think I could take her if she gets it.”
“I’ll help. We’ll just lure her outside into an alley.”
We both chuckled.
“Let’s have lunch tomorrow,” she begged.
I ran through my schedule in my head. “I have a light day. Sure. Where?”
“Oh, they built this bistro across the street, and I’m obsessed. Meet me here, and we’ll walk together.”
The thought of seeing David was both enticing and terrifying. I wouldn’t take my chances.
“I’ll meet you outside in front of the building, okay? Be downstairs by eleven-thirty.”
“Okay,” she answered absentmindedly.
“Yvette, I mean eleven-thirty and not eleven-forty-five.”
“I got it, I got it.” She moved the phone away from her face and talked. I heard a male voice in the background. The butterflies in my stomach told me exactly who it was. She answered him and brought the mouthpiece back up. “Sorry. David.”
My heart pounded against my rib cage. “How is he?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
“Oh, we’ll talk about all of that tomorrow. I’ll see you at noon.”
“Eleven-thirty, Yvette,” I spoke directly into the phone.
“That’s what I said. Eleven-thirty.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone and took a long breath.
The two sides of me—the heart and the brain—pulled in two directions. My brain knew David and I were over. Moving on was my only choice to getting back to normal. It was just a breakup. Picking up the pieces and concentrating on my new career shouldn’t be that hard. Eventually, I would find someone again.
Then there was my heart.
Our brief relationship was not something I was looking for or even wanted. But he’d awakened something in me I hadn’t expected. Why he had chosen me to be the one to let go of his past life and why I was the one he wanted to share his past and secrets with, still befuddled me. That connection had been a mystery from the get-go. I based my every move with David on feelings I didn’t think I would get back after Crew. I couldn’t call it love. Or maybe I could. Whatever it was, it was something bigger than both of us. And when I lost it, it devastated me—more than I had ever been.
The next day, my nerves got the best of me as I got out of my ride and stared up at the now-unfamiliar building. As if the last six years had never happened. Within that dark building, behind the tinted windows, David Powers was at his desk, probably on his phone or the computer. Beautiful as ever and making power moves. I wondered if he thought of me. If he was still mad at me for not coming back. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before my grief took over again.
I leaned on the cement pillar away from the entrance, waiting on Yvette. It was 11:34 a.m. It would take an act of congress for her to be on time. I inhaled and texted her again, telling her to hurry. She didn’t answer.
After ten additional minutes of waiting, I pushed myself off the pillar and pivoted towards the front of the building. I slammed hard into someone who caught me by the arms. The scent that invaded my senses caused immediate panic. I would recognize it anywhere. My eyes traveled up his immaculate blue suit and yellow paisley tie and into those perfect hazel eyes that shined in the sunlight. My breath caught.
“Farren?”
“Hi,” I breathed.
David exhaled, his hands still around my arms, his hard chest against mine. I couldn’t will myself to move away from him. We stared at each other. The proximity to his lips was hard to ignore. Realizing this wasn’t my place anymore, not my chest to touch, my lips to kiss, my heartbeat to share—I backed away.
He let me go, then put his hands in his pockets. There was disappointment, or maybe hurt in his eyes.
Instead of the typical heat between us when we were this close, there was an immense amount of unease and distance. I hated everything about it.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I was waiting for Yvette. We’re going to lunch.”
His face relaxed, and a slight smile met me. “You didn’t want to come up?”
I paused. “I thought it’d be awkward.”
His smile grew. So handsome. I couldn’t believe how much I missed him.
“How’s your new job?” he questioned.
I glanced away. “I really love it.”
His brow furrowed, then he nodded. “We miss you,” he whispered.
“We?”
He nodded slowly.
I scratched the back of my head. “I miss all of you too.”
He inhaled and opened his mouth to speak…
“David?”
A brunette with dark brown eyes and copper legs that reached up her tight, short white dress approached us. She laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Her perfume was strong and expensive. Something French and suddenly stomach-churning.
“Are you ready? The car’s over there.” Her thick London accent purred. She eyed me and smirked.
He glanced at her, then back to me. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
Her thin frame walked by me. Then I looked back at him with a smirk. He glanced down as if being with this perfect model embarrassed him.
“Client?” I couldn’t keep the disgust out of my voice.
His silence said enough. I nodded and looked away. I needed to get away from him.
“I guess old habits die hard.” I was on the verge of crying again. “It was good to see you, David,” I said, not meeting his eyes again. I didn’t give him the opportunity to respond. I walked around him towards the entrance, just as Yvette came out.
Yvette saw the look on my face. “What’s wrong?” she asked and touched my arm.
Unable to speak, the tears collecting, I motioned behind me with my thumb. She looked over my shoulder, and I followed her gaze. David walked towards his car sitting by the curb, running his hand through his hair.
She looked at me. “What happened?”
“He’s with someone.” A tear fell.
She peered behind me again and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, she’s the new one.”
“New one?”
She hesitated. “I didn’t want to tell you. It seems his bad h
abit has reemerged.” She looked over my shoulder again, then back to me. “I’m sorry, Farren. I know you didn’t want to see that. He hasn’t been the same since you’ve been gone. I guess maybe this is his way of coping.”
I still couldn’t speak. I was embarrassed, angry, and shattered. The pain of David going back to his lineup hit me hard. He was so much better than the playboy image he once had. Not only was I hurt by this regression, but it also disappointed me.
TREVOR SENT ME AN invitation to Yvette’s promotion celebration at a posh Italian restaurant in the middle of the city. I was hesitant to go, but I couldn’t stay away because I was afraid to face David again. He had made his choice. He wouldn’t keep me from commemorating this moment with Yvette.
Yvette was standing with Trevor, Gwen, and Jeremy in the corner of the room by the bar. I tapped her on the shoulder and immediately hugged her.
“Congratulations, director!” I announced.
“Oh my god, so crazy, right?” She beamed.
“Not at all. You earned this.” I smiled.
“Well, it definitely calls for a night of drinking, right?” she said, and the entire table shouted in agreement.
Trevor left and came back with shots for everyone. I shook my head and laughed, sliding mine over to Yvette. I had learned my lesson from the last time.
I moved over to Jeremy, who had his arm around Gwen. They had been dating for a few months, and I could tell the infatuation phase was still in full effect. I smiled and congratulated them.
I casually looked around the room at all the employees, nervous to meet the eyes I had tried hard to get over those last few weeks. I missed him, I couldn’t deny it, but it was obvious he didn’t feel the same. Nothing like being the only one miserable while the other party moved on like it was nothing.
I talked to a few people, still looking for David to see if it was safe to move around the room. When it was apparent he wasn’t in the building, I took a breath and walked to the bar to get a drink. I asked the bartender for a Riesling and sat on the stool. I ran my hand through my hair.
“I’m glad you don’t drive,” I heard next to me.
I looked up at his hazel-green eyes, and my heart stopped. It took me a moment to remember how upset he had made me. I was supposed to be mad at him, hate him for jumping back into his old ways instead of being an adult and growing up. But looking at him, remembering our time together, it was hard to keep that grudge going.
He sat on the stool next to me. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I whispered but didn’t move. “I didn’t think you were here.”
He exhaled. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
I glanced around us. “Are you alone?” When he didn’t answer, I looked at him.
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Yeah, I am.”
I took a breath. “So, you’re back to your lineup?”
He shook his head and took a few moments to answer. “The day you saw me in front of Imperium, I thought… I thought I could go back to the way things were before you and me. That comfortable space I confined myself to because it was easier. I figured I could return to being that, then everything would feel better, feel right.” He looked at me. “But after a while, I realized, that’s no longer where I’m happy. That’s not who I am—I can’t be.”
Those amazing, gorgeous eyes stared into mine. He leaned in. “I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Trust me, it’s the last thing I wanted to do. But I need you to know something.” His expression was conflicted, and I allowed him the time to say what he needed to.
He exhaled. “You made me a better man.”
The tears collected, and I nodded slowly. “Yeah, for someone else.”
He shook his head. “You were never a placeholder, Farren.”
I looked at him as he read my thoughts. There was a weight I felt on my chest that began to crush my insides.
He leaned closer and paused. “I miss you. And I don’t miss anyone.” The rest of the people in the room fell away.
I closed my eyes. A tear escaped. “What am I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know what I expected. I just needed you to know that I shouldn’t have been afraid. I should have done whatever it took to keep you with me.” His hand lifted towards my face but stopped. He hesitated to comfort me. As much as I wanted to feel his touch again, it would destroy me later when I thought about this moment. Just seeing him, hearing these words, would be hard to recover from. He clenched his fist and brought it back down to the bar.
“I’m still trying to figure a lot of things out.” He laughed once. “I’m seeing a therapist my sister set up for me. Between my fear of commitment and my father, I have a lot of shit I need to solve.”
I looked at him. “I’m glad.” We continued to stare at each other.
The silence between us was loud, but I had nothing left to say. I was genuinely happy he was bettering himself. Trying to move on from his fucked-up relationship with his father. Trying to make sure that whoever got him next would benefit from his growth. I was happy and jealous as hell of that next woman.
He nodded and looked away. “I’m gonna go.”
When I breathed in, my body shook from crying.
He exhaled and stood, watching me. He leaned down, resting his hand on the bar, until he was inches from me. “I’m the biggest asshole in the world for letting you go, Farren. This was my fault, my mistake, and I’ll be the one regretting it forever.”
He pulled back and placed his hands in his pockets, the agony we shared apparent on his face.
“Be happy, Farren.”
I closed my eyes because I couldn’t watch him leave. He removed his warmth from me, and I was alone.
“You made me happy,” I answered. I turned back to the bar and put my elbows on top, my hands covering my mouth as my shoulders shook, and the tears overtook me.
Yvette came by my side. “Hey,” she laid her hand on my back, “are you alright?”
I didn’t answer.
She sighed. “Why are you still sitting here?”
I wiped my eyes. “What?”
“Look at you.”
I faced her.
“Go get him,” she urged.
I exhaled unsteadily. “Yvette, I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” her voice grew. “Stop lying to yourself. You want him. He obviously wants you.”
Fear kept me in my seat. I’d heard what she’d said, but it was too late. David was gone, and there was too much damage.
She made an irritated sound. “Okay, fine. Stay here and be miserable. But you’re just as much of a coward as he is.”
I stared at her.
“He’s not Crew, Farren,” she reprimanded. I didn’t reply as she walked away.
Thirty Five
It took time to digest what Yvette had said at the restaurant. I didn’t want to admit my fear about David treating me like Crew, but it was there. David wasn’t the only one that needed to do some growing. I didn’t want to get hurt again, but it wasn’t a reason to deny myself happiness, whatever the situation may be. I did it for my career, maybe I needed to do it with my relationships too.
I kept up with Imperium, reading the online articles about the rebranding and how it was progressing. I watched David’s interviews with the media. He discussed the reasons he took over the company and why he wanted to save it. The press eased up on him when it became known he wanted to help protect his dad’s legacy. America loved the feel-good story about his family. In every interview, he mentioned me and the rest of the team. I pretended that was his way of saying hi.
David wanted to open sites in different cities, like New York and Chicago, to help create jobs and include other products. The expansion was aggressive, but I had no doubt he could do it.
I felt proud knowing David would accomplish every goal in front of him now that he could run the company as David Powers and not Samuel Powers’s son.
I had consumed too many videos of him one afternoon
, causing my heart to yearn to see him. I was afraid I had made the dam too wide between us. Knowing what he said the night of Yvette’s promotion was now a memory for him. He didn’t want me anymore—he couldn’t.
I didn’t want to talk to him over the phone. The awkwardness would be excruciating. Text messages would drive me crazy, waiting for the bubbles to appear. I wondered if I could email him. Nothing too invasive—just to say hello. I took out my laptop and stared at the blinking cursor. I wanted to be casual and friendly, but also making sure it warranted a response.
An hour later, I finally hit send. My anxiety lessened, and I moved ahead with my day. Whether I got a response was not in my control; if he wanted to speak to me, he would.
I turned away and heard a bing from my email. My hopeful heart leapt out of my chest. I took a breath and opened Outlook.
It was from David.
Out of office reply.
I clicked the email.
I will be unavailable for the next several weeks. Please direct all questions to Yvette Carter, Mark Espinoza, or Lillian Banks at the following numbers. Thank you.
Disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks. Unavailable? I knew he’d be busy, but not one time had he used an out of office reply while I was there, even during the consistent trips to check on his father.
Curiosity got the best of me, and I picked up my phone.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi, Farren.”
“I’m sorry to bother you at work. I tried to call your cell, but it’s disconnected.”
“We got new phones finally.”
“About time,” I teased. “How have you been?”
“Good…I miss you.”
I smiled. “I miss you too. Yvette, I’m really sorry. You were right. I just didn’t know what to do.”
“I get it, and I don’t blame you. Loving Mr. Powers must be scary.” She laughed.
Loving him is terrifying, I thought. “It is,” I whispered. “Listen, I just tried to email him and got an automated reply. Is he there?”
“Um, no.” She didn’t explain further.
After a few seconds, I asked, “Where is he?”
The One of Many Page 27