“Are you okay?” The clerk stood quickly and came out of her enclosed glass booth. “Come on. Why don’t you sit down?” She led Aisha over to a chair close by the reception area. “Sit here. I’ll get you some water. I’ll be right back.”
“Aisha, get yourself together,” her mother said in a scolding voice. “You look like hell. This is no time for your dramatics. Your father needs us and he needs us to be strong. This is not about you. What you need to be doing is praying not weeping. And my God, when was the last time you ate? You look anorexic.”
Aisha looked at her mother with a coldness in her eyes. All the years her mother had professed to be such a saint. But if only the people at church knew how she treated her own daughter. Aisha felt like she was always in competition with her mother, always trying to prove to her mother that she was a good girl. But Sandra Carlisle shielded her emotions like Fort Knox protected its gold. She wouldn’t let anyone get too close to her. Her mother had been the same way. She often told Sandra that showing affection was a sign of weakness. True Christians should be strong, not weak is what Sandra had been taught. Sandra looked at Aisha again. The compassion she wanted to feel toward her only child just wasn’t there. Instead she reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out her purse sized bible. She turned to the twenty third Psalms and began to read the bible verses she already knew so well.
“Tameria, thank God.” Aisha rushed to the arms of her best friend.
“I would have come down earlier, but things are hectic in CCU and I couldn’t get a break. I only have a few minutes now.” Tameria could barely contain the sick feeling that formed in the base of her throat when she saw Aisha. It had been several weeks since the last time they’d actually been in each other’s presence. Between Tameria’s medical rotation shifts and Aisha’s full and part time jobs, they rarely had the chance to spend time with each other. Something was terribly wrong with Aisha but Tameria didn’t know what it was. She slowly approached the pencil thin frame of her friend and Mrs. Carlisle.
“How’s my father, Tameria?”
Tameria could barely look at Aisha. Mr. Carlisle was hanging on by a thread. After emergency surgery he’d lapsed into a coma and his prognosis wasn’t good. Tameria was not about to share this heartbreaking news with them. She would leave that up to Chase.
“Tameria, I want to see Benjamin. I want to see my husband.”
“Mrs. Carlisle, I’m going to take you up to CCU now. Come with me.” Tameria stopped at the window clerk’s desk to inform her that she was taking the family to see Benjamin Carlisle.
On the way to CCU, the elevator ride seemed to move in slow motion. “Tameria, you never told us. How is my daddy?”
“Aisha, I’m sorry to say, but he’s not doing so well. The surgery was performed in an effort to clip the ruptured aneurysm and reduce the risk of rebleeding. Chase is up there too. He can tell you more since he’s a Neurosurgery Resident.
“Thanks, Tameria. We thank God for you,” Sandra Carlisle said in a humble voice.
When she walked into CCU and saw her father lying on the cold white pristine sheets, with tubes in his arms and down his throat, Aisha almost collapsed. The same feeling of weakness and nausea she felt earlier revisited her again. Her mother ignored Aisha and walked over to the side of her husband’s bed and grabbed his hand. The gentleness she displayed toward him was seldom shown toward Aisha.
“Bennie, Bennie I’m here darling,” she whispered. “You’re going to be all right. I know you are. Just hang on and have faith baby. God is with you.” The only sound that pushed from his lips was the sound of the breathing tube. His eyes were swollen and his head was wrapped in white gauze.
Aisha couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. She moved in on the other side of her father’s hospital bed. “Daddy. Daddy I’m so sorry I haven’t been around like I should. But I love you Daddy. I love you so much,” she whispered softly to him. Tameria moved closer to Aisha and placed her arm around Aisha’s bony shoulder to uphold her. When her arm rested on her skinny frame, she thought Aisha would break. Tameria began to mentally diagnose Aisha while she stood next to her for support. Maybe she’s working too hard and not eating enough. I know she’s not anorexic or bulimic, at least I hope that’s not the case. What could it be, she continued her thoughts as she did a side glance at Aisha.
“Daddy, can you hear me? Please say something, Daddy.” Aisha stared at her father intensely and guilt consumed her. If only she had been around more for her father instead of doing obscene dancing for perverted men. She felt the sudden urge to find relief in her vial of baby girl that was tucked safely inside the zip pouch of her handbag. Before she could leave his side to find a bathroom, a mild mannered voice clashed her thoughts. She looked up and saw the hefty built doctor standing next to her mother.
“Mrs. Carlisle, I’m Dr. Johnston.” The Neurosurgeon said to Sandra Carlisle. “Why don’t you come to the consultation area with me and I’ll tell you what’s going on with your husband.”
She followed the doctor to the consultation room and Aisha scurried behind the two of them.
“I’m going to go and check on my patients and I’ll be back soon,” Tameria reassured them.
“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Aisha said.
“Mrs. Carlisle and Miss…” he paused looking at Aisha.
“Aisha Carlisle. Benjamin Carlisle is my father. Doctor is my father going to be all right?” Before the doctor could respond, Chase walked in and joined him. His look revealed what Aisha denied in her heart. “Aisha, hello. Mrs. Carlisle,” Chase nodded.
Aisha couldn’t find the words to respond. Her mind was saturated with thoughts about her father’s condition.
“Your father had an aneurysm that ruptured and caused bleeding in the brain. We’ve managed to clamp off the aneurysm and stop the bleeding but there’s always the possibility that the bleeding will start again and cause additional aneurysms.” He turned to Mrs. Carlisle. The two ladies were obviously distraught. This was one part of his job he hated. It never became easier, no matter how many times he’d experienced less than favorable prognosis of patients. This was such a time but it was still not a time to mince words and give them false hope either.
“I’m sorry to say,” Chase added. But Mr. Carlisle’s condition is out of our hands now. We’ve done all we can do.”
“Nooo,” Sandra Carlisle screamed. “God, I do not accept what this doctor has said. Satan I rebuke you now in the name of Jesus. Doctor Johnston and you to too Chase. Both of you listen to me,” her voice commanded. Aisha’s sobs were ignored. “God is the one true doctor and I cannot and will not accept this sentence you’ve placed over my husband’s life. I will not.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Mrs. Carlisle and I respect your religion, but I’m a specialist, a neurosurgeon and I’m telling you what the prognosis is for your husband. I don’t want to deceive you, ma’am. The chances for his survival are quite slim.” Chase explained while Dr. Johnston stood with his hands folded over his chest in total silence.
“Chase, please, there has to be something else you can do. There just has to be,” Aisha intercepted.
“I wish there was.”
“We really do,” Dr. Johnston emphasized.
The pain that consumed Aisha was far too much for her to bear. The doctor’s words ripped at her heart over and over again. She ran out of the room and didn’t stop until she saw the sign on the door that said ‘Exit - Stairs.’ She pushed open the heavy steel door and sat down on the first step. Without hesitation she reached inside her handbag and pulled out baby girl. She uttered a prayer between each snort, pleading and begging God to save her father, promising him that she would change her life if only he would save him.
♦
“Chase. Something’s not right with Aisha.”
“Something like what? The woman is distraught about her father’s critical state. What’s not right about that?”
“You know I haven’t
seen her for several weeks because of our schedules. She looks bad, Chase. I mean Aisha has always been one to keep herself in perfect shape. Now she looks like a weekend crack head or something. That’s the best way I can describe her.”
“You don’t think she’s doing drugs do you?”
“No. Of course not. Aisha’s too smart to get caught up in something like that. She’s too into God to get hung up on drugs.”
“Well what do you think the problem is?” Chase was concerned about anything that bothered Tameria. He loved her and hoped to make her his wife when he finished his residency and secured a more permanent position. Anything that he could do to alleviate any pressure or anxiety she felt, he was willing to do that. The fact that Aisha was in trouble, concerned Tameria and Chase wanted to help her get to the bottom of Aisha’s problems.
“Look, why don’t you go back to CCU and see if you can get her to meet you later on when you go on break. Then you two can talk a little and maybe you can find out what’s got her looking so stressed. But being worried about her father probably has a lot to do with it. Then you told me that she’s working two jobs too. That’s enough to stress anybody out.”
“Everything you’ve said is true. But, Chase, the girl looks like she’s lost almost twenty pounds in a matter of weeks.” Tameria lowered her head and wrung her hands together. Chase reached over and tilted her face toward his and kissed her lightly on the lips.
“Hey, I don’t want my favorite girl to get all worked up about this. Everything will be all right. You’ll see. Now go and find Aisha and make those plans to meet her later, okay?” His smile always warmed Tameria’s heart. The touch of his lips against hers relaxed her and for a moment, thoughts about Aisha disappeared.
CHAPTER 25
Aisha looked down at her cell phone. A grin enveloped her weary face when she saw the call was from Chandler.
“Hi, you. Long time no hear from,” she said gingerly.
“Hi, yourself. You know that works both ways. You have my number and I don’t recall seeing your digits flash across my caller ID either,” he responded. “Tell me, what’s a man got to do to get some attention from you?”
“Let me see,” she made a humming sound over the phone pretending like she was in deep thought.
“I’m waiting,” he said flirtatiously.
“I’d really like to see you, Chandler,” she confessed. Then taking a more serious tone she explained to him about her father’s illness. “I’ve been spending as much time as I can at the hospital.”
“I’m sorry to hear that about your dad, Aisha. Why don’t I come over later and take you to dinner. Or if you’re going to be at the hospital, I can bring you something to eat. Just tell me what you want me to do.”
Each time he heard Aisha’s voice a tiny piece of him surrendered to his feelings for her. He hoped his undercover assignment would be ending soon. At least in the next few weeks or so. So far he’d found out how the girls were being brought in to The Lynx. Most of them were being lured from shopping malls all over the United States with promises of modeling careers. Others were runaways or homeless teens. Most of the time two well dressed decoys, usually a man and a woman, approached vulnerable looking girls, and sometimes boys, who were alone in the mall. The decoys would strike up a conversation, often telling the girl how pretty she was and how she would make a perfect model. It really didn’t take much to talk most of them into listening to their scripted diversion before they lured them outside to a waiting car. From that point on, they were shuffled around like cattle to a predesignated city. Some ended up at The Lynx and others ended up in cities far from their original pick up location. Still others were sent overseas and sold as sex slaves to drug cartels. The end result wasn’t pretty because there were girls like Hallie whose very childhood had been stolen and the right to live a life of safety was long gone.
“Chandler, I don’t know about seeing you tonight. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to come to the hospital. It’s depressing here and I don’t want my mood to rub off on you.”
“I want to come, Aisha. Are you at the hospital now?”
“I’m actually on my way back to the hospital. I had to go and pick up a few things from my apartment and run a couple of errands for my mom.”
“How long will it be before you get there and what hospital is your father in?”
“He’s at St. Francis and I should be pulling into their parking lot in about ten or fifteen minutes. He’s in CCU so I can meet you in the downstairs CCU waiting area, in say about forty or fifty minutes. That’ll give me time to check on my father and see about my mom. Is that all right with you?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you then.”
Chandler washed the grey rinse out of his hair, removed the fake moustache and goatee and changed into his normal attire. He was Chandler Larson again and it felt good. Like a person with a split personality, he sent Kyle Taylor away. The night belonged to Chandler and Aisha and he was going to take advantage of every bit of it. Before leaving the house on the river, he checked in with the Police Chief and filled him in on what he’d found out so far about The Lynx.
♦
Aisha’s pale face lit up when Chandler walked into the CCU waiting area. His charcoal Girbaud shuttle jeans and printed shirt made him stand out like a fashion model out of VIBE magazine.
“Hi, Chandler,” she blushed.
It took several seconds for him to respond. He was taken aback by her ghostly appearance. She’d lost quite a bit of weight since the last time he’d seen her and her face looked sunken and almost hollow. He imagined that she’d been through a tremendous amount of pressure with her father being so ill, along with her trying to operate the studio and work a second job. He felt sorry for her. He wanted to whisk her away from all of the problems she faced at this time, but his own career kept him from doing a lot of the things he desired to do in life. It was because of his job that he had shied away from long term relationships. But Aisha was different. He wanted something more than a fly by night fling with her. She stood for everything he wanted in a woman. She was ambitious, smart, intelligent, family oriented and beautiful. When she smiled, her whole body smiled and he loved that about her. When he touched her, she was soft like cotton candy and she smelled like the sweetest of fragrances.
Why is he staring at me like that? Aisha asked herself. I know Tameria said I’d lost a lot of weight and maybe I have but dang, he doesn’t have to look like he’s in another time zone or something.
“Hey, don’t I get a hello, whuzzup or something,” Aisha spoke up.
“No, you get more than that.” He pulled her into his massive arms and held her against his chest. The sweet scent of her hair aroused his desire for her.
She relaxed in the safety of his arms and allowed herself to enjoy being held and comforted. When they pulled away from each other, he caressed her face with the back of his hand and then led her to the sofa in the back area of the waiting room. When they sat down, he placed the bag he brought in on the table next to them.
“You didn’t tell me what to bring, so I stopped and picked up a couple of subs. I hope you like turkey and ham.”
“That’s fine, thanks for doing this, Chandler.”
“No thanks is necessary. I brought enough for your mom too. I didn’t know if she’d eaten or not, but I know how it can be when you’re in a situation like this. It drains you and you find very little time to do the things you normally do every day.”
“You’re right about that? But how do you know?”
“I’ve been through this same sort of situation before. I had a brother who had muscular dystrophy. We stayed in and out of the hospital with him. He passed away when I was fifteen.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry to hear that, Chandler.”
“Anyway, that’s how I know. Now, come on, I want you to eat a little something.”
“I will, but not right now. I want to spend some time with you for now. I promise, I�
��ll eat something later.”
“Okay. Tell me, how is your father?” A real sound of concern was in his voice.
“He’s still in a coma and on a respirator. The doctors don’t give him much hope but I know that God is in the healing business. I believe that with all of my heart.”
“I know you do, Aisha. And I hope he makes it through this. You know what?”
“Yes, Chandler,” she spoke in a soft voice.
“I admire your faith. You’re the kind of person who isn’t ashamed of her beliefs and that says a lot about you.”
Suddenly Aisha felt ashamed. How could she talk about God and faith when her life was so screwed up? Here she was sitting across from a man that had penetrated her shell and she was living a lie. She dropped her head and turned away from Chandler’s stare.
“What is it, Aisha? Did I say something wrong?”
“No, of course not. It’s just that I don’t want you putting me up on this high pedestal and all. Like I’m little Miss Perfect. I’m far from perfect you know and my faith gets shaky sometimes too.”
“I know you’re not perfect. I never said that you were. I just said that I admire you and that’s what I meant. Anyway, I think you’re perfect for me,” he confessed. She turned her head quickly to meet his gaze. They stared at each other before he pulled her next to him. She rested her head against his shoulder. Within minutes he heard her labored breathing. He allowed her to sleep in the crest of his arms. Gently rubbing her hair away from her closed eyes, he kissed her forehead, leaned back into the soft leather of the sofa and watched CNN on the waiting room TV.
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