Of all the people he had counseled, Aisha was rather special. She possessed some of the qualities that he wanted in a wife. She was kind and humble with a spirit that radiated love and sincerity. Sure she had a lot of healing to do, but he saw past her imperfections and focused on the Godly woman he knew was inside of her. He thought about her smile, the way she threw her head back when she laughed and how it broke his heart each time he witnessed her tears and pain. Out loud he made his requests for her healing to God then assumed his previous position and started watching the ballgame again.
♦
Aisha climbed out of the bath tub, dried off and curled up in her favorite chair. She was exhausted after coming home yet again from another Cocaine Anonymous meeting. When she initially joined the group she made a pledge to attend ninety meetings in ninety days. It was tough but she was determined to beat her drug addiction and make things right in her life.
This time when she opened the nightstand drawer, she wasn’t searching for a hit, she was looking for the white sheet of typing paper with the twelve steps of Cocaine Anonymous printed on it. She picked up the paper, went over to her chair and began to recite out loud the twelve steps.
The Twelve Steps of Recovery - Cocaine Anonymous
• I admit I am powerless over cocaine and all other mind altering substances that my life had become unmanageable.
• I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
• I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him.
• I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.
• I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.
• I am entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
• I humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings.
• I made a list of all persons I have harmed, and I am willing to make amends to them all.
• I made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
• I take personal inventory and when I am wrong promptly admit it.
• I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for me and the power to carry that out.
• Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I try to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.
She made it a daily ritual to recite the steps after she prayed every morning and before she prayed at night. Her sponsor, a recovering addict named Beverly, had been clean and sober going on three years. Whenever Aisha felt the pressure of the drug tugging at her, she picked up the phone and called Beverly for support. The program was her lifeline to a drug free life. She prayed that she would not go down the destructive path of using drugs again.
The ringing of the phone startled her. Her first thought was to let it ring. Whoever was on the other end could leave a message if it was important. Her decision was quickly changed when an unfamiliar Little Rock number appeared on the Caller ID.
“Hello.”
“Aisha?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“It’s Mrs. Simmons. Your mother’s next door neighbor.” Aisha didn’t know if she could take what she believed Mrs. Simmons was about to tell her. Her heart started pounding against her chest and her hands shook.
“Is my mother all right?” Aisha asked in a panic.
“She didn’t want me to call you but I did anyway. My husband and I had to take her to the emergency room. She kept complaining about being short of breath. She was sweating and could barely talk.”
“Mrs. Simmons, is my mother okay?” Aisha asked again in a loud voice.
“Darling, calm down. She’s going to be fine. They kept her in the hospital though because they suspect she has a bout of pneumonia. We just left there, me and my husband and some of the other church members.”
“What hospital did you take her to, Mrs. Simmons?”
“She’s at St. Vincent Hospital, baby. Now you be careful driving over here. You need to get somebody to come with you because you’re too upset.”
“Thank you for calling me, Mrs. Simmons,” Aisha didn’t respond to Mrs. Simmons advice. She hung up the phone, hurriedly threw on some clothes and dashed out the door.
♦
“Mother, how do you feel?” Aisha’s voice was tender as she spoke to her mother and stroked her forehead. “I came as soon as I heard you were here.”
Sandra Carlisle removed the oxygen mask from over her nose and mouth. “You didn’t have to do that. I’m fine. I bet Mattie Simmons called you didn’t she?”
“Mother, it doesn’t matter who called because it was the right thing to do.”
“I told her not to call anybody but my church members and the pastor. There was no need for you to come all the way over here.”
“Well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere until you’re better. Now you just close your eyes and get some sleep.” Aisha kissed her mother’s sweaty forehead and pushed back the loose strands of gray hair away from her mother’s face. Within a few minutes, Mrs. Carlisle was asleep. Aisha sat down in the chair next to her mother’s bed and watched her while she slept. Her own eyes became heavy and she succumbed to the call of her body to rest.
“Mrs. Carlisle, how are you feeling, hon?” a short white chubby nurse asked her. Aisha’s eyes flew open and she sat upright in the chair, rubbing her eyes.
“I’m feeling better. My breathing is better too.”
“Good. Who is this young lady here with you?” Aisha’s mother looked over to her right at Aisha.
“My daughter,” Mrs. Carlisle responded.
“Hi, daughter,” the nurse teased.
Aisha stood up and said, “My name is Aisha. Nurse, is my mother going to be okay?”
“Yes, but she does have pneumonia and it can be rough on our older patients. The doctor will be able to tell you more when he makes his rounds first thing in the morning. Will you still be here?”
“Yes, I’ll be here. And thank you.”
“No problem. Mrs. Carlisle, I want you to take this pill for me, hon. It’ll help you rest easier tonight.” She gave her a glass of water with the pill and without any protest, Aisha’s mother swallowed it. “Good girl,” she said like Mrs. Carlisle was a child instead of a seventy two year old woman. The nurse patted Mrs. Carlisle on the legs and said, “Press the button on the side of the bed if you need anything hon.”
The following morning the doctor came in. He assured Aisha that her mother would be fine. He explained that he was going to keep Mrs. Carlisle in the hospital for at least another few days just to make sure the fluid on her lungs was clearing up.
“Aisha,” her mother called out soon after the doctor left. Aisha leaped up from the chair and rushed to her mother’s bedside.
“What is it, Mother?”
“Shouldn’t you be at work? I told you I’m fine and you heard what the doctor said.”
“Mother, I’m not going anywhere. I already called Angie and told her where I was. She knows how to reach me if she needs me. Anyway, I’m not worried about the studio right now. I’m going to be here for you as long as I have to.” Aisha became upset when she witnessed the tears falling from her mother’s eyes.
“Momma, what’s wrong? Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the nurse?”
“No, no. I was just thinking.”
“Thinking about what Mother?”
“Never mind, I’d just like to rest now.” Sandra Carlisle turned over away from the glares of her daughter.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that, Mother.”
“Do what? What have I done now?”
Aisha felt her anger rising against her mother but managed to keep it in check. Now was not the time to explode. But this was her mother’s typical way of getting Aisha on edge and she was sick
of it. But there was nothing she felt she could do about it because disrespecting her mother was the last thing she wanted to do.
“Mother, look you go on and rest. I’m going downstairs to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat. I’ll be back shortly.”
Without turning to look at Aisha, her mother responded curtly, “No need to hurry. I told you anyway that I would be fine. You should go back to Memphis and see about your dance studio.”
Without responding, Aisha proceeded to walk out of the room. Not tonight. I am not going there with tonight, she repeated to herself. She went outside and sat on the veranda. Inhaling the fresh air and feeling the night air against her body sent a shiver up and down her spine. Why did she let her mother get under her skin? It was time she learned to do like her father told her – “let it roll off you like water rolls off of oil,” is what he would often tell her. But through all these years, she’d not yet learned how not to let her mother’s harsh reprimands and stinging comments affect her. Reaching on the side of her jeans, she removed her cell phone from its clip and turned it on. Aisha phoned Beverly and told her where she was. Beverly got on the internet with Aisha on the other end of the phone and searched for meeting places in or surrounding St Vincent Hospital. The two of them were elated to discover that a nearby community center held a nightly meeting seven days a week. It was remarkable how God had opened another door for her to walk through.
CHAPTER 36
“Natalie, have you heard from Miss Carlisle this morning?” Jackson was concerned that Aisha hadn’t shown up for her session. During the time they’d been meeting she had never missed a meeting nor had she ever been late. Now he hadn’t heard from her for two weeks. The fact that she hadn’t bothered to call had him on edge.
Father God, please let Aisha be safe. I pray that she hasn’t relapsed. Take care of her wherever she is. He paced back and forth in his office. Scrolling through his palm pilot, he stopped when he reached her office number. For reasons he didn’t know, this was the only contact number Aisha had listed on her membership and counseling forms. Dialing the number, his hand slightly shook from nervousness. He told himself he was calling from a professional standpoint, but his heart kept insisting it was something more. Something more personal.
“Good afternoon, is Miss Carlisle in please?” He was extremely polite and without him knowing, he had already won over Kaye because of his courteous attitude.
“No. Miss Carlisle isn’t in the office today. May I take a message?” Kaye was equally polite.
“Is there another number where I can reach her? It’s sort of important.” Jackson insisted.
“I’m afraid not. Would you like me to put you into her voice mail? She checks it regularly.” Kaye offered.
Where is she? Jackson paced across the deep purple carpet in his office. “Yes, you can transfer me to her voice mail. And thanks so much. God bless you,” Jackson told her before she transferred him. I have to get it together. This happens all the time. Once they feel that the counseling sessions have helped them over the hump, most of the people stop coming. Seldom do they call and notify Pastoral Care – until the next time that is, when they need more help. That was fine with Jackson because he wanted the members to benefit from his spiritual counseling and then move on to stand on there own faith. But Aisha had tugged at his heart in a way no other member had done. The woman was intriguing regardless of the things she’d confided in him about. Just because she’d ventured down the wrong path didn’t make her a terrible person. To Jackson, it only confirmed that she was just like the rest of God’s children – imperfect. He sat back in his chair, pulled out his bible and meditated over several scriptures. An hour later he informed Natalie that he was leaving the building. He offered to bring her back a sandwich.
“No thanks, Minister Williams. I’m going to the cafeteria to get a salad and a sandwich a little later. Thanks anyway.”
“No problem.”
“Are you going to be away long? Because if you are, I want to remind you that tonight is the Ministers’ Meeting.”
“I know. I have it in my palm pilot. I shouldn’t be gone more than a couple of hours. Call me on my cell if something comes up.”
“Yes sir.” Natalie made a thumbs-up sign and smiled. She loved being Minister Williams’ admin. He was easy to work for, considerate and thoughtful too. If I wasn’t close to being a senior citizen, I’d give these young women at the church a run for their money. And that Aisha Carlisle doesn’t seem to be aware that he has a special attraction for her. I can see it and I’m blind as a bat. Too bad she’s already engaged. She laughed out loud then turned around in her swivel chair to resume working on the quarterly membership Pastoral Care report.
♦
Jackson floored the accelerator of his pearl blue Chrysler Crossfire. There was barely any traffic on the interstate, which was unusual. But it was to his benefit because he felt like he had the road to himself. For some reason, driving was a means of relaxation for him. He drove until he read the green sign that said Bailey Station exit. He took the exit and continued his drive through Collierville. The town was growing rapidly and the hustle and bustle of traffic was more than what he expected. Nevertheless, it worked in his favor because it forced him to slow down and take in the beauty of God’s world. He could no longer ignore the rumbling sounds of his stomach so he drove into the parking lot of O’Charleys for a quick lunch. After placing his order for Cajun chicken pasta, he reached for his cell and dialed Aisha’s office again. The receptionist transferred him into her audix once again. His initial thought was to hang up. But before he could follow through on that thought, he heard her sweet, tender voice instructing him to “please leave a message and your call will be returned.”
♦
Aisha met the doctor at the entrance to her mother’s hospital room. Opening the door for her, she anxiously stepped ahead of him to hear his latest report concerning her mother.
“Mrs. Carlisle, how are you feeling today?”
“I’m feeling fine doctor. I want to go home. I’ve been lying in this bed for God knows how many days,” she complained.
“Well, the last series of tests we performed late yesterday show significant fluid decrease. I’m pleased with your rate of recovery.”
“Thank you, God. Doctor you have made my day. Now tell me, when can I get out of here and go home?” Mrs. Carlisle eased upright in the hospital bed and waited on his response.
“You can be discharged this afternoon if you promise to follow my instructions.”
Mrs. Carlisle raised her left eyebrow and slowly folded her arms.
“You are not completely over this and until you’ve regained some of your strength, I want someone with you around the clock. If that’s not possible, I’ll have to insist that you remain in the hospital for a few more days.” He shifted his piercing green eyes in Aisha’s direction.
Observing him carefully, Mrs. Carlisle spoke up. “Doctor, there’s no need to look at her. She has her own life to lead in Memphis. I have good neighbors and church members who won’t mind watching out for me.”
Aisha managed to hold back her embarrassment over her mother’s thoughtless comments. Just who does she think she is. Acting as if I don’t have time for my own mother? For now, she held her tongue so the wrong words wouldn’t spill out. Lord have mercy.
“I understand that your daughter has her own life. And I’m certainly not one to tell you who should or who shouldn’t take care of you over these next couple of weeks. My main concern is that you have someone with you. You’re still weak and you still have some healing to do. Is that clear?” The doctor was stern and refused to leave until Mrs. Carlisle promised to follow his directions.
“I understand, Doctor. Like I told you. I have plenty of people, thank God, to help me."
“That’s fine, Mrs. Carlisle. Oh by the way, I want to see you in my office first thing Monday morning.” He studied her chart like he was searching for anything he may have forgotten to co
ver. “Any questions before I leave?” he finally asked Mrs. Carlisle and Aisha.
Both of them shook their heads. “No I don’t have any,” was Aisha’s response.
“I think you’ve answered all of my questions,” was Mrs. Carlisle’s response. “But I know how to call your office if I think of anything. No need to worry about that because you know I will.”
“Yes, how well do I know,” the doctor laughed. Sandra Carlisle was not one to mince words. Whenever she came to his office for any reason she commanded the full attention of his staff.
Aisha reached out and shook his hand and thanked him for taking such good care of her mother.
“Aisha, I meant what I said to the doctor. There’s no need for you to keep staying over here. You haven’t been home in God knows when. Mattie will help look out for me. She told me that yesterday when she came up here to see me. And my church has some of the sweetest members. Pastor already made it clear that it’s the church’s responsibility to take care of the elderly and the widows. I don’t want to stop you from living your life. I’ll be just fine.”
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