“I know, Chandler. You have one of those distinguishable voices. I’ve told you that before, haven’t I?”
“Yeah, you have. Did you get my message?”
“Yes, I did. The flowers are beautiful. Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome. I just want the chance to make things right with you. I don’t want to come off as pushy or like the stalker I once was. So this time if you tell me not to call you again and that you won’t see me, then I’ll accept that. But seriously, all I want is a chance to talk to you face to face.”
“I, I don’t know, Chandler. You’ve done some crazy things that gave me a totally different view of you. You’ve scared the mess out of me. You’ve had me constantly looking over my shoulder wondering if you were lurking around somewhere to hurt me. It hasn’t been a good feeling either. Now you’re calling me and telling me that you need to see me. How do I know if you’re telling the truth or not? I just can’t do it.”
“Look, Aisha, I’ll meet you in a public place. That way you won’t have to be afraid. We can talk or rather I can talk. All you have to do is listen to what I have to say.” He waited on the other end of the phone. Her silence let him know that she was considering his offer. If he could get her to meet up with him, he felt certain he could convince her of his feelings. She finally responded.
“Okay, I’ll do it. But I’ll pick the place.”
“Wherever you say, I’ll be there,” he answered. A big smile covered his face. He’d made it over the first hurdle.
“Meet me at Interstate Barbeque on Third Street this evening at seven thirty.” Aisha didn’t allow him time to reply. She hung up the phone and quickly returned to working on her choreography.
♦
The waitress seated her at a booth near the middle of the restaurant. Chandler walked in just as the waitress was bringing Aisha’s order of tea.
“Thank you for seeing me,” Chandler said and leaned over so he could kiss her on the cheek. Aisha quickly moved her head before his lips met its intended target. He chose not to comment. He gave the waitress his drink order and proceeded to sit down.
Seeing him for the first time in months, she studied his profile. He was a handsome man, always had been. He looked more chiseled, like he’d been hitting the gym around the clock. His crystal white teeth and mustached lips enhanced his already good looks.
“What do you want to talk to me about? If you’re going to start stalking me again and trying to set me up, I’m telling you that I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I’ll go to Internal Affairs, the newspaper, whatever I have to do. But I won’t live in fear of you any more.”
Chandler watched her as she demanded him to leave her alone. He had to make things right with her. He wanted to convince her that he wasn’t out to harm her. He reached across the table to grab hold of her hand. She quickly removed it before he could grasp it. Anger formed inside of him but he couldn’t let her know that she was pissing him off. Who the hell does she think she is? Don’t blow this, man Keep your cool. He told himself. “Aisha, I know I’ve done some questionable things. I understand why you feel the way you do about me. But the fact is, I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings when I found out you were working at The Lynx. Imagine how I felt when I saw you walk into that house as my private dancer. I almost blew my cover right then and there. I was devastated. I loved you Aisha. I know I never told you but I was planning to tell you as soon as my assignment ended. But seeing you dancing that night reminded me of my ex girlfriend Tracye. I felt like I was being betrayed all over again.”
Aisha’s eyes grew as big as golf balls when she heard Chandler’s confession. Her heart began to soften as she witnessed the hurt look on his face. She remembered the night she stood before the man who she thought was Kyle Taylor at the time. Putting herself in his shoes, she imagined how she would have reacted had the situation been reversed. She admitted that their relationship was ruined because of her actions. For that she was sorry.
“I’m sorry but I can’t do anything to change that. All I can tell you is that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to destroy what we had together. Things in my life plummeted out of control so fast. I got caught up in the game of making fast money. Along with the fast money, came drugs to help me keep making the fast money. With the drugs came a downward spiral of my life. But I never meant to hurt you.”
“Aisha, you don’t know what it means to hear you say that. I know I said some atrocious things to you. That’s why I wanted to see you face to face. I’m asking if you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I didn’t know how to react, or how to express to you what I was feeling, so I retaliated by calling you names and stalking you.” Tears crested in the corner of Chandler’s eyes. “Aisha, I’m here to confess that my feelings still haven’t changed. I love you. I want the chance to make things work for us. But if they can’t, then at least please tell me that we can be friends.”
The waitress brought their orders and placed them on the table in front of each of them. Aisha glanced at her barbeque salad. Chandler didn’t bother looking at his jumbo shoulder sandwich and onion rings. He concentrated on her, afraid if he looked away that she would be gone from his life forever.
Aisha picked up her fork and picked over her salad. She was taken aback by Chandler’s outpour of love for her. She didn’t know what to say or how to counter what he’d said. There was a time she had believed that Chandler was the man of her dreams. The one who might possibly be her knight in shining armor but it hadn’t worked out that way. Yes, she blamed herself for hurting him, but she also believed there was a reason for everything. She believed that Chandler was basically a good man with a lot of love to give. But time brings about a change and now her heart belonged to Jackson.
“What are you thinking?” Chandler asked sullenly.
“I’m thinking of how much I hurt you, Chandler. I don’t want to hurt you ever again. That’s why I have to be honest with you. First, let me say that I do forgive you. I really do. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me as well. I once cared deeply for you. I think I can even say that I was starting to fall in love with you. But that was then and this is now. I can’t change the series of events that took place. Neither can you. And now I’m in love with someone else.”
“Is it that minister? Jackson Williams?”
“Yes,” she answered, confessing to Chandler something she hadn’t yet admitted to Jackson. She loved Jackson. Sitting across from Chandler confirmed her feelings.
The look of disappointment was evident on Chandler’s face. He’d treated her harshly and now he had to pay the ultimate price of losing her and the chance to work things out between them. This time it was her turn to reach out and console Chandler. She held his hand and tenderly squeezed it. Reaching across the table she used the back of her hand to wipe away his falling tears.
♦
Jackson dialed Aisha’s cell for the fifth time and for the fifth time it went straight into her voice mail. He hung up and dialed her apartment number again, still no answer. He scanned his memory to see if he could remember whether or not Aisha had told him she was going somewhere after leaving the studio. It was almost ten thirty and she wasn’t at the studio. He knew because after he couldn’t reach her, he had driven by there to see if her car was still there. The lot was empty and all the lights were off at the studio. He sat at his kitchen table and ran both hands through his hair, a sure indication that he was worried about her. He picked up his keys and stormed out of the door. He needed to make sure she was all right.
Aisha and Chandler left the restaurant. “I’ll follow you home to make sure you get there safely.” Chandler offered. “If that’s okay with you.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Please. Let me do something. I can at least make sure you get home safely.”
Aisha relented. “Okay. But I’m tired Chandler. I just want to get home. I’ve had a long day and an even longer day tomorrow.”
“Sure, no problem. I’ll just follow you and then go on about my way.”
Arriving at her place, they spent a few minutes sitting in his car in front of her apartment. For the first time in months, they were able to enjoy one another’s company. Aisha felt convinced that Chandler had been sincere with his apology. “Everyone deserves a second chance,” he’d told her and she agreed. That was all Chandler had hoped for. Thoughts of Tracye’s betrayal resurfaced in his mind. The more he watched Aisha, the more she began to look like Tracye. Tracye was a slut. She stooped to an all time low when she slept with his friend. Aisha was no better.
“I’ll walk you to your door.” The two of them stood in front of her door. Without warning, Chandler grabbed her shoulders. He pulled her towards him. His breathing became heavy within seconds.
“What are you doing? Turn me a loose.”Aisha tried to yank away from his grip. But his lips crushed hers violently. She twisted her body but his massive hands were unyielding. The force of his teeth against her lips bruised hers.
“Chandler. Stop it. No. Let…me…go.” she tried to yell as her head went back. But he held her so tightly she could barely speak.
“You know you like it like this. You don’t really want that jacked up preacher. You want some roughness in your life. Don’t you!”
Aisha was petrified. How could she have allowed Chandler to deceive her again. She should have known better. He kissed her forcefully again while his hands invaded the most private areas of her body. Her salty tears flowed but her tears only excited him more as he lapped them up with his tongue. He viciously pulled her hair back and sucked on her neck while he squeezed her breasts hard. His legs forcefully parted her thighs and he used his knee and hands to do vile things to her.
Jackson pulled up in front of the complex. Getting ready to step out, he witnessed Aisha and Chandler kissing. Furious, he was about to jump out of the car and attack Chandler. How could she do this? How? Jackson’s heart skipped a beat when he saw her head tilt backwards. From what he could tell, she appeared to be laughing. His head rested on the steering wheel. He pounded his fists against the dashboard and put the car in reverse. Unable to watch the two any longer he sped away.
Chandler slammed Aisha against the door. He jerked the keys to her apartment from out of her hand. He pushed open so hard it sounded like it was about to pop off the hinges.
“Chandler, please. Please don’t do this,” she begged him.
Chandler’s laugh was wicked. His eyes narrowed menacingly. He grabbed her between her thighs again then violently pushed her inside her apartment before he turned to leave. Aisha fell on the cold hardwood floor. Looking back at her, he saw Tracye’s face plastered on hers. He walked back over to her just as Aisha tried to use her feet to push the door close. She didn’t have the strength. He bolted inside, stood over her and spat on her. “Did you really think I would want somebody like you? Well, I never have. And I never will! Now let’s see you forgive that!”
CHAPTER 41
She lay still on the floor for almost forty-five minutes. She was too scared to move, afraid that Chandler was still lurking outside. When she mustered up the nerve, she started crawling over to the door. She pulled herself up enough to lock the deadbolt. She slid back down to the floor, bent over and sobbed into her hands. For the next several minutes Aisha lay next to the door trembling in fear. She was traumatized. Should she call 911? What would she tell them? He hadn’t raped her in the sense of what they called rape. It would be her word against the well respected undercover detective Chandler Larson. Once he finished telling his chief about her past, no one would believe her. She screamed like a wounded animal. A wave of nausea sent her rushing to the bathroom where she threw up her day’s food consumption. Oh God, she continued to sob as she ran a hot tub of water. She climbed inside and began to scrub her violated body until her skin started to tingle from her roughness. It was over an hour before she stepped out of the tub. Dripping wet, like a zombie she walked into the bedroom and fell across her bed.
Aisha climbed between the covers and wept until she succumbed to the voice of sleep. Even in her sleep, Chandler’s assault tormented her. She bolted upright in the bed. Glancing over at the clock on her nightstand, she saw that it was 3:45 in the morning. Jackson. Oh my God. I told him I was going to be working late but I didn’t tell him about my plans to meet Chandler. I know he’s worried sick. She reached for the phone to call him so she could explain to him what had happened. Just as she was about to dial his number, she looked on the caller ID. He’d already called her several times. I can’t tell him. He won’t understand. He’ll ask me why I met him in the first place. Why did I?
She glanced over at her answering machine and saw the message light flashing. Why didn’t he call on my cell? she asked herself. She got up from the bed and stumbled into the hallway where her purse and keys were still lying on the floor. She shivered again in fear. She quickly grabbed up her purse and raced back into her bedroom, slamming and locking her bedroom door behind her. Frantic, she searched inside her purse until she found the razor thin phone. Oh, dang, I didn’t even turn it on when I left the restaurant last night. Throwing the phone down on the floor, she pushed the buttons to listen to the messages on her home phone. With each message, Jackson’s concern escalated. She heard the sound of worry in his voice as he spoke into the machine. “Aisha, pick up the phone. Beep. Aisha, where are you? Beep. Aisha, are you okay? Call me.” Beep. “Aisha, you won’t answer your cell.” Beep. “Aisha, sweetheart, call me and let me know you’re all right.” After listening to the messages, she picked up the phone to call him. She thought about what she would tell him. I’ll remind him that I worked late. Then I’ll tell him that I was worn out so I came home, took a shower and fell asleep. I can’t tell him the truth. I just can’t. There was no answer at his apartment. He must be asleep himself. Good, maybe he’ll believe me when I talk to him later today.. Rubbing her hands through her hair, Aisha rocked back and forth on the bed. Her eyes had begun to swell from crying and her body ached from Chandler’s abuse.
♦
Early the next morning, before the sun came up, Jackson was awakened by the familiar ring tone My Girl by the Temptations on his cell phone. It was Aisha’s ring tone. But Jackson ignored her phone calls, the same way she’d obviously ignored his calls last night so she could be with Chandler. He couldn’t believe that she had been lying to him all of this time. She had managed to convince him that Chandler was some kind of crazed maniac cop who was stalking and harassing her to no end. But what he witnessed surely hadn’t looked like someone who was afraid of Chandler nor did Chandler look or act like a stalker. Had she been fabricating these tall tales all along? And if so, how many more lies had she been feeding him? For the first time he had serious doubts about Aisha’s honesty. If he couldn’t trust her, there was certainly no way he could hope to continue a relationship with her, let alone contemplate asking her to become his wife. His phone began ringing again. He turned it off and jumped up and got dressed in a pair of sweats. The more he thought about it, the more he dreaded being at home. He didn’t want to chance her popping up, something he wouldn’t have minded her doing before the events of last night. Without thinking, he grabbed a few clothes and left the condo.
He exited off the Ridgeway exit and drove until he arrived at AmeriSuites on Park Avenue. He checked into the hotel, went to his room, turned his cell on vibrate and lay back on the double bed. Thoughts tackled his mind about the good times he’d spent with Aisha and the love that had evolved in his heart for her. He had prayed for God’s hand of guidance and direction to be upon him throughout this relationship. Time and time again he had asked God to reveal to him if Aisha was the one. Dropping down on his knees and clasping his hands together, Jackson cried out to God. At this point, he believed that God had allowed him to witness Aisha and Chandler’s secret rendezvous to show him that she wasn’t the girl for him. As bad as it hurt, he trusted God. He determined within hi
s spirit that he would get through this painful situation with God’s help. After his prayer, he undressed, pulled back the covers on the bed and lay between the cool white cotton sheets. Staring at the ceiling as if watching a movie, a flash of pain enveloped him. He allowed his tears to flow freely until he succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep.
♦
Aisha yawned and sat up in bed. She looked at her cell phone to see if she had any missed calls or voice mails but there were none. Neither were there any messages on her home phone from Jackson. Her concern mounted even more after she had called him and didn’t get an answer. Checking the time, she decided to get up and drive out to his apartment before going to the studio. She left a message for Angie telling her she would be running a little late, then headed toward the Bill Morris Parkway e-way. Arriving at Jackson’s apartment, she saw an empty space where his Crossfire would normally be parked. She dialed his apartment number again. Again his voice mail picked up after four rings. Sitting in the parking space, she tried his cell again, no answer. Her cell phone rung and before it went to the second ring, she’d answered.
“Hello, Jackson?”
“No. This isn’t Jackson. It’s your mother, Aisha.” Aisha’s chest sunk.
“Good morning, Mother. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Are you okay? You sound like you’re anxious to hear from Jackson. I hope you two haven’t had a lover’s quarrel. You know you can be excessive and overly dramatic Aisha.”
“Mother, please, not this morning. Jackson and I are doing fine. And I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am not excessive or dramatic. I just haven’t talked to him since early yesterday. I guess he had some emergency calls from the church or something.” Aisha tried to mask her emotions. “Are you back from Dallas?”
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