SinSatiable
Page 30
The day had arrived. It was time to stand up and allow God to use her in the way He saw fit. Facing the diverse group of youth she cleared her throat before she began.
“All of my life, I’ve had a passion for dancing. My father often told me stories about when I was but a toddler; how I would go through the house pretending like I was a ballerina. As soon as I was old enough my parents fed my passion and enrolled me in dance and ballet. I blossomed like a flower. Each waking moment I thought about dancing. There was nothing I wouldn’t do if it would afford me the opportunity to fulfill my life long dream.” Aisha shifted her weight to one side and continued to speak. “Shortly before my grandparents died in a house fire, I had graduated from college. They left me an inheritance that enabled me to start my own dance studio called A-Carlisle Studio of Dance and Choreography. It was the greatest blessing of my life. I couldn’t thank God enough for what he was doing in my life. I was actually doing what I loved to do. That’s a feat in and of itself because so many people leave this earth without ever fulfilling their dreams, goals and aspirations. The room full of youth sat in the auditorium as if they were each hypnotized. Her words were powerful. The impact of her words was powerful. Scanning the crowd, she continued to speak. “Even though I was able to share my love of dance and choreography with young ladies and young men, I still had a business to run. That meant that I had to have financial resources that would keep the studio open.
Well, unfortunately things changed. I found myself sinking. I didn’t know it at the time, but what had happened was I began to put dance before God. I got in financial difficulty and instead of turning to God for answers and guidance, I looked within myself. I’m standing before you today to tell you that whatever you do in life, always and I mean always put God first and keep God first. You see, I thought I could handle my problems on my own. But boy was I wrong. I became involved with drugs, began dancing for money at this exclusive gentleman’s organization. I justified what I was doing by telling myself that I wasn’t like some of the other women who danced there. After all, I was a Christian and a virgin too. So what I was doing couldn’t be all that bad and I was only going to do it for a while, just to save up some money to keep my studio going. All along, I was fooling me,” she said and pointed at herself. “I started using valium and cocaine because I listened to someone who convinced me that it was just to help ease my nervousness of working at the association. It’s so important for you to be your own person. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing what you know is not right. Listen to God and those people who will tell you the truth. I learned that the hard way. Anyway, it didn’t take long for me to become addicted to the drugs and the money I was making.” The eyes of the teenagers were focused in on every word Aisha spoke.
“I loved my daddy. He was my rock of Gibraltar. But you know what? I let him down. To this very day, I wish somehow that I could turn back the hands of time just for a moment. But I can’t. I wish I could have been there with my father when he took his last breath, but instead I was at the club snorting coke and shaking my butt to 50 Cent and Mike Jones. I know God has forgiven me because His word says that all we have to do is confess our sins and he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But the fact remains that I had trouble forgiving myself. So what I’d like to leave with you today is that we all make mistakes. There are some roads you’ll travel on this journey through life that will lead you to some undesirable places. There are some people who are around you that don’t mean you any good but they will pretend to be your friend. There may even be family members who won’t and don’t support your dreams and aspirations. But even if all of this is true, there is hope for each of you. Don’t cling to the mistakes of your past.
“Don’t allow negativity and trouble to hinder and destroy what your divine purpose is in life. The best advice I can give you is to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Keep Him first because no matter what you do or where you go in life, He will forever be by your side if you’ll only receive Him into your heart. Then like me, when things get hard as they sometimes do, when you don’t know where to turn and it feels like the weight of the whole world rests upon your shoulders, He’ll be there to uphold you and keep you safe. When others won’t forget or forgive you, or when you won’t forgive yourself, God will and does forgive. What’s so amazing about Him is that He accepts you and me just the way we are. So if you’re sitting out there feeling like all hope is lost and that you’ve messed up and you’re at the point of no return, then I’m telling you that what you’re thinking and feeling is a trick of the devil. Because we are more than conquerors. We’ve overcomers. We’re beneficiaries of the kingdom of God and His throne.
“Since I came to that realization, my life is much different now. There’s no more guilt over the things I’ve done in my past. Whatever I did is done and I can’t make anything change. And there are going to be other times in the future when I’m sure that I’ll mess up. That’s because I’m human which means that I’m not perfect. None of us are. But what I am is Forgiven and that makes all of the difference in the world. And what I can do is live this day to the best of the ability God has given me.
“God’s blessings have continued to run me down and overtake me. I now have two locations for A-Carlisle Studio of Dance and Choreography. One which is located at this very church. I’ve also been blessed to love and be loved by a wonderful man, Minister Jackson Williams.” The gym full of young people began to snicker at the thought of Minister Jack, as they called him, with a girlfriend.
Aisha smiled too. “So today, I’m encouraging you to forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead. When I graduated from college my late grandparents gave me this locket.” Aisha pulled the locket out from underneath her melon colored blouse. “The inscription on this locket says Jeremiah twenty-nine eleven. Do any of you know what that passage of scripture says?”
The young people remained fixated on Aisha and no one acknowledged that they knew the scripture by heart, so Aisha started up again. “Well, it says something that I truly believe with all of my heart. ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ What more could I or any of you ever ask from such a loving, all powerful heavenly father.” Before turning to leave the stage, she paused. Scanning the church auditorium full of young people, her eyes rested on the man she loved with all of her heart. Jackson stood up with the group of young people as the crowd gave her a standing ovation.
Her heart flooded with pride and thanksgiving. God had used the bad, sinful things in her life to bring about the good and perfect gift He had designed for her. Her life was a changed life and her relationship with God was strengthened by the adversities, trials and troubles she’d experienced. But the ultimate lesson gained was that of unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness. And because of that she knew that she wouldn’t trade her journey for anything.
THE END
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shelia E. Bell (formally Lipsey) is a multi award winning author, professional speaker, and literary expert. Lipsey is founder and executive director of the nonprofit, Living Your Dreams Now (www.livingyourdreamsnow.net), founder and director of Memphis African American Writers Group (MAAW), regular blogger for BCNN1 (www.blackchristiannews.com), and contributing writer for EDC Creations Black Pearl Magazine (www.blackpearlmagazine.com). She has released the following novels through publisher, Urban Books: Into Each Life, Sinsatiable, My Son's Wife, My Son’s Ex Wife: The Aftermath, and Beautiful Ugly. She remains on several bestselling lists including Black Expressions top 25 and top 100 bestselling lists, Black Christian Fiction Independent bestsellers lists multiple times for each one of her titles, as well as Black Christian Fiction National bestsellers’ list for each of her titles. Lipsey’s novels can be purchased as eBooks, at brick and mortar bookstores nationwide and at online stores.
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sp; Lipsey was presented the 2010 Pink Diamond Award from the National Book club SistahFriend. My Son’s Ex Wife: The Aftermath was named one of the Best Books of 2010 by Sankofa Literary Society. My Son’s Wife won the SORMAG Readers’ Choice in several categories including Author of the Year and Book of the Year. She was also awarded 2009 Top Shelf Award from EDC Creations for Beautiful Ugly. Lipsey is one of eight contributing authors featured in Bended Knees Anthology, published by Hollygrove Publishing. Her title in the anthology is Against the Grain. Lipsey’s sixth and seventh titles, My Son’s Next Wife will be released June 1, 2011, followed by her seventh title True Beauty in December 2011. Always, Now and Forever is her first ebook, but was originally published and printed in 2000.
Readers, thank you for your continued support of my literary career. Because of you, I am able to Live My Dreams Now. Be Blessed!
To arrange speaking events, book signings, and or workshops please contact the author at sheliawritesbooks@yahoo.com You may also reach this author through http://www.twitter.com/sheliaebell; http://www.facebook.com/sheliaebell; www.sheliaebell.net
More books by Shelia E. Lipsey
Always, Now and Forever – Love Hurts (print and ebook)
Into Each Life (print and ebook)
Beautiful Ugly (print and ebook)
My Son’s Wife (print and ebook)
My Son’s Ex-Wife (print and ebook)
My Son’s Next Wife (print and ebook)
True Beauty (print and ebook)
A Christian’s Perspective-Journey Through Grief (print and ebook)