by Barb Han
The warm hand moving up and down her back kept her rooted to the present.
She fought the memory trying to come back. She didn’t want to know all the details of how she’d killed Sam Carter—a man working for the US government.
Questions assaulted her. Why had she done it? Was this her assignment or had she gone rogue? What had Sam Carter ever done to her to deserve this? Was he the reason her father was dead?
“It’s okay,” Jace soothed.
God, his touch was the only thing keeping her sane as productive heaves started. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re okay, angel.” He whispered other reassuring words, reminding her of the night he’d cared for her.
But could any of this be real?
He wanted something from her or he would’ve killed her already. Maybe he was setting her up or needed information about that night in Paris. Maybe he wanted to know who had hired her to do it?
Was she working for the mystery man? Was it possible she’d branched out for a freelance job?
Murdock wouldn’t have sent her to kill an innocent man. Would he? The headaches had to be screwing with her head, creating blind spots a skilled operative like Jace could mess with.
She glanced up at him, at the seriously gorgeous man.
Another memory pierced her.
She’d been hiding in the back of Carter’s closet, behind half a dozen dark suits, for three hours. Most people believed bullets won battles, but Erika knew differently. It was patience. Patience won wars. So, she stayed there, crouched, flexing her muscles to keep them from cramping. Silent. Waiting.
Carter showed up quarter past eleven, whistling. Freakin’ happy.
Rage filled Erika at the memory.
Why did she hate Carter?
That piece was being stored somewhere else, locked away, because she had no idea why.
Erika pushed through the fog, wanting to know what she’d done. Maybe then she’d understand this whole fucked-up mess.
“We have to go,” Jace urged.
The timbre in his voice left no doubt he meant now. He helped her into the car after her last productive heave, and then handed her bottled water.
She rinsed out her mouth and spit. “Thanks.”
He nodded, smiled. And her stomach did that fluttery thing again, a welcome relief from the pain of everything she’d learned. Her dad had been killed for his involvement with CorMeds.
They were back on the road when the next memory hit.
Thankfully, her stomach was already empty because the recollection hit with the force of a physical blow.
Carter had been in the shower when she shot him, whistling.
Chapter Fourteen
Erika shut her eyes and blocked out the rest of the memory. “Do you know why I shot him?”
Jace didn’t respond.
“Do you?” she repeated, as if he hadn’t heard her the first time, rubbing her temples.
“At first, I suspected you were hired by Andrew Smith.”
That would explain his interest in her. Had he kept her close, toyed with her emotions, just to figure her out? A piece of her heart broke but no way would she show him. It made sense, though. If he were chasing down the silent partner, the trail would lead to her. She’d been naive to think she could play Jace when it was becoming clear the reverse had been true the entire time. Embarrassment heated her cheeks.
“I tried to check into your background after that headache. Obviously, I didn’t get far. That wasn’t my first clue you weren’t a freelance graphic designer. When I did more digging, I found out you were Agency and I got lucky from there figuring out your tie to Carter.”
“Now it makes sense why someone’s been after me. It has to be Smith.” She opened her eyes, taking in all the greenery around her. Green had always been her favorite color. Murdock would need to be updated. Was that why Murdock had been after Jace for information? Was Murdock looking for the silent partner, too?
It was the only thing that made sense. The guy had most likely gone rogue and killed the other partner. The government couldn’t risk information leaking out, so they must’ve hired Sanctuary to close the loop.
The pieces were snapping into place.
But that also meant Jace must know something else he wasn’t telling. What?
A thought struck her like a bolt of lightning. He wasn’t the silent partner, was he? No. Couldn’t be. He would’ve erased Erika by now. Plus, he was too young. Maybe he expected her to lead him to the person who’d hired her to kill Carter.
If he knew who was behind the order, he could put a stop to them ever finding him. And, of course, he wouldn’t kill Erika. He needed information from her and if he eliminated her Sanctuary would just send someone else.
“What did you find that made you hop off the radar?”
“How do you know I did?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What makes you think I’m not still working on my assignment?”
Fair enough. “Was your mission to find me?”
“No. Not at first. You were a total shock. I figured you were there to kill me, too. Except you didn’t. And you had those fucked-up headaches. I wanted to know why.”
“That why you picked me up when we met?”
“I didn’t.” He cracked a sexy half grin.
Right. No, he was too smart to pick her up. She’d have been suspicious if he’d made the first move. He’d let her pick him up. “Touché.”
“How’s the pain?”
She could hold a gun to Jace’s head and he wouldn’t talk faster. “I’ve been better.”
“When you showed up, I was intrigued. I got to know you better because I like you. But those headaches had me worried.”
He wasn’t the only one freaked out by them.
“When you didn’t make a move to kill me, I figured you were there for information. Except you never tried to break into my laptop.”
“That’s why you left me alone with it.”
He nodded.
“What’s our next move? You have a safe house nearby?” Too much information swirled around in Erika’s head and she couldn’t think straight anymore.
“Yeah. I made arrangements for us.”
“How did you know I would come?”
“I didn’t. I hoped.” He paused. “I’m really glad you did.”
Why? Because he liked her? How on earth could she believe him, especially when she knew he was holding something back?
They’d reached the interstate by now. Was he heading to Seattle?
Instead of heading west, he turned right. “Bellevue?”
“Not that far. I have a little place right off the highway. We should be safe there.” His sentence was punctuated by checking his mirrors to see if anyone was following them.
Sure they would be. As long as another trained assassin wasn’t following them, which brought up another question. She’d been careful to hide her identity in Vancouver. If Jace hadn’t sent Berlin, then who had?
Goose bumps rose along her arms at the thought there could be someone out there better than the two of them.
A random thought struck. Murdock? Was he Andrew Smith? Had her father gotten too close, threatened to expose his friend, and was killed before he could speak out? Murdock taking care of her all these years could have been a way to assuage his guilt.
Her mind said hell no but she was certain she’d pulled the trigger in Paris last year. Was there a chance she’d buried that knowledge deep in her memories and that was the reason for the headaches that felt more like brain cramps?
Repressed memories?
Jace wasn’t the bad guy she’d suspected. Either way, she wouldn’t give herself up to headquarters. No way would she transmit her suspicions. She’d be banned from the agency and there’d most likely be another bounty on her head.
Besides, every road led back to Sanctuary, to Murdock.
Chapter Fifteen
Two hours later and no closer to
a revelation, Jace parked in front of a secluded house. Erika had watched as the residential neighborhoods thinned and the expanse of trees thickened. They’d been careful to watch for anyone following them but drones could be the size of a bug and far less noticeable.
She’d need a shower and to change the dressing on her wound. Hot water shouldn’t be an issue in the million-dollar glass house.
“This yours?”
“Belongs to a buddy of mine.”
“Not likely.” People like she and Jace didn’t have friends.
“It’s true. He grew up on my block in Virginia. We went to high school together. I went up north for college. He stuck around to attend University of Virginia, became a doctor and is spending a month in France with his wife’s parents.”
Erika didn’t need to keep learning personal information about Jace. She didn’t want to like him any more than she already did.
Besides, there was only one reason a man like him would tell her those kinds of things about himself in this business—he didn’t expect her to come out of that house alive.
“I could use a hot shower.”
“You don’t want to put naked images of you in my head this close to a bed,” he said, sexy smile secured as he punched in a code that disarmed security and opened the door.
Damn if looking at those lips didn’t send more than butterflies fluttering through her.
“What else should I know about you?” She took a step toward the door, but he turned and blocked her entry, raising his arm to touch the doorjamb.
God help her, but the man was attractive. In his beard, he’d been gorgeous. His clean-shaven face catapulted him into a whole new stratosphere of sexy as hell. He slicked his tongue across his bottom lip as he stood there.
Erika took a step toward him, and clasped her hands around his neck.
He dipped down and kissed her. Sparks shot through her.
She heard a branch snap to her left, and pulled back. In one fluid motion, her SIG Sauer was retrieved and aimed at the intruder.
Murdock.
Rage ripped through her as she stared at the barrel of his gun. How could he?
Standing in front of the man who’d shot her father blasted fire through her veins. So much anger engulfed her, the world tilted on its axis. She should just squeeze the trigger and be done with him. “Why’d you do it, Murdock? Why’d you kill him?”
Fear and confusion radiated off him. “I didn’t.”
Jace stepped in front of her. “Put the gun down, Murdock.”
“Not until I know she isn’t going to kill me.”
Erika ground her back teeth. “You’re fucking right I’m going to kill you.”
“Nothing is what it seems, Erika. Give me a chance to explain,” Murdock said.
“Then you better start talking.” If she shot him, he wouldn’t immediately die. He wouldn’t immediately do anything other than what he was currently doing until his brain registered what had happened. Except his finger might twitch and he had a decent chance of hitting one of them. “Why are you trying to kill me?”
“Kill you?” The shock in Murdock’s voice matched his facial expression. “I’ve been trying to save you.”
“Bullshit. You sent the guy from Berlin and when he couldn’t get the job done you called someone else.”
“No, I didn’t. The guys who killed your father have been tracking you. Just as I always feared they would. I never should’ve put you on this case.” The sadness in his voice edged out his fear.
What was that all about?
“How am I supposed to believe you, Murdock? Or should I say Andrew?”
Murdock’s jaw went slack.
Jace wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tighter. “He’s not the enemy. I have proof. I set up a meeting with him at Mercer to put him to the test. He killed two other guys trying to get to us. I let him follow us here.”
“Then somebody better start explaining, because he gave me the order to kill you in Vancouver.”
“That was before I knew he wasn’t going to go public with what he’d found. I’m not the third person you’re looking for, but I know who is,” Murdock said, his face twisting in a mix of emotion. Frustration. Sadness. Compassion.
Compassion?
Why the hell would he look at her that way?
“You said someone from Sanctuary is involved.” She kept her gaze trained on Murdock.
“It was your father, Erika,” Murdock said.
Shock ate through her, shredding her insides. “What the hell are you saying?”
“The third partner was your father.”
“No way is that possible. The third person is still alive and my father was a good man. He died in the line of duty working for you.”
“He’s telling the truth,” Jace said in her ear. The calmness in his voice eased her fried nerves. “Put the gun down and we’ll go inside and talk about it.”
Murdock shook his head. “You don’t know her like I do. She won’t take your word for it. She needs proof. And I have it. I created Andrew Smith and a trail that leads to me. The real third partner is your father. I’m sorry. I tried to protect you from ever figuring it out.”
Why was he coming to her defense, being logical when all she wanted to do was throttle him?
“I shook a guy down after I’d been assigned to kill Sam Carter. He pointed the finger toward Jack Nile. I did some digging around after that, spoke to my contact that had infiltrated Exacto. Jack Nile was CorMeds. The others were there as a front to lend credibility to the business.” Jace held her tighter, her back flush with his body.
“I saw that you’d figured it out in the messages you sent through her,” Murdock said. “Thank you for coming to me and not taking it to my boss, or worse, the media.”
“Wait a damn minute. The two of you have been working together?” Erika’s world felt like it was crashing down around her.
“No,” Murdock quickly said. “I thought he’d uncovered evidence about your father so I did what I always do. Tried to erase him.”
“That why you sent me to kill Sam Carter?”
“Yes. He’d reached out to one of those whistle-blower journalists after everything I did to protect him. So, yes, when national security is at risk, I have to protect the country. Every trail leads back to me for a reason.”
“Tell me why,” Erika demanded.
“It’s the only way I have of knowing if someone’s close to figuring it out.”
“Well then you’re going to have to clue me the fuck in because none of this makes any sense to me.”
“If anyone digs around, I want them to find me, not your father, not you.” Murdock held his hands out, palms up, showing that he had no plans to use his weapon.
Erika nodded her acknowledgment but she wasn’t quite ready to hold hands around a fire pit and sing “Kumbaya.”
“Don’t you mean you don’t want anyone taking down your precious agency?”
“I’m not proud of that part of our past, but we’ve done a lot of good since the agency opened, too.” Murdock hesitated and kicked the earth. “Once we had enough money, I begged your father to walk away from his side business. He said he couldn’t. He was in too deep. Then, I find out he got a job…and it went bad…he…killed an innocent woman and child in the crossfire. Her family had ties to Exacto and they wanted revenge.”
Air whooshed from Erika’s lungs and the world pitched on its axis. There were Jace’s arms, around her, keeping her upright. “My mom. They did that to her as some sort of twisted retaliation? To teach him a lesson?”
Murdock nodded.
“And that’s why we moved, essentially went into hiding.” Shock swirled through her thoughts as the puzzle pieces of her past snapped together. Her father had cut her off from everything familiar. She hadn’t been allowed to contact any of her old friends. The new cell phone he’d given her made sense now. And so did not being allowed to go back and visit anyone from the past.
“Your father went nuts after. Took his anger out on everyone remotely connected to the guys who hurt his family. I couldn’t stop him. It was blind fury and a bloodbath. He wanted those assholes to feel the same way he did when he lost your mother.” He bowed his head. “After, I couldn’t hide him. They tracked him down and murdered him. Then, Sam Carter was about to lead them to you. I couldn’t allow that to happen.”
“And you’ve been covering for my father all these years.” Bitterness laced her tone.
“I’ve been covering for you.”
“Why’d you make sure he received full honors?”
“It’s complicated.”
He had that fucking right. He wasn’t getting off that easy. “Break it down for me.”
“There were other reasons besides you. Can you imagine what this would’ve done to the CIA if word had gotten out? If word got out today? There’d be congressional committees and witch-hunts. All the great work that’s been done would mean nothing,” he said, his tone serious. “The world we live in is complicated.”
Anger and frustration caused her body to vibrate.
“It’s going to be okay.” Jace kissed her the top of her head.
“How? My father’s a murderer and my mother’s dead because of him.”
“He didn’t start out that way, Erika.” Murdock took a step toward her as he pocketed his weapon. “And that’s not all he was.”
Chapter Sixteen
“He was a good friend, a good father and one damn fine Marine. Life is not all black-and-white,” Murdock said, but his words were hollow in her chest.
She shot him a look that could’ve frozen the Caribbean Sea. “He should’ve been in jail, not the morgue and you know it. He betrayed the one thing he’d sworn to protect—his country.”
“No, he didn’t. He betrayed one of the things he’d sworn to protect. He didn’t betray you or your mother,” he said emphatically. “Those were the two most important things to him.”
“Didn’t he?” His actions had taken away all the family she had. She should feel lost and alone, yet she didn’t. And that confused her.
Murdock angled his head and pressed his lips into a thin line. “I needed startup capital to fund Sanctuary and he said he knew what to do. I didn’t ask questions. I looked the other way when I shouldn’t have. That was my fault. Those are the actions I have to live with every day. I don’t condone what he did in any way, shape or form. I don’t hate him for it, either.”