by Susan Meier
When Clark returned from the office, the house was filled with the scent of sugar and cinnamon, as well as the roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and peas she’d made for dinner.
He scooped Teagan up on his way to the kitchen. When she was seated at the table, he pulled a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Jack.
He opened it and jumped for joy. “I knew I’d done well.”
Feeling oddly left out, Althea said, “Oh, so those are your grades?”
He nodded. “Here. See for yourself. I did excellently.”
Reading the report, she smiled. “I’m very proud of you.”
Clark said, “I’m very proud of you, too.”
They ate dinner companionably chatting about Jack’s grades and his reentry into “real” school.
When they were through, Clark stole a cookie for dessert. “Jack, how about putting these dishes in the dishwasher?”
Still excited over his good grades, he happily jumped off his chair. “Sure.”
Clark caught Althea’s hand. “I thought you and I could have a private minute in the garage.”
“The garage?” Good Lord. All day she’d worried that he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and here he was spiriting her out to the garage to kiss her. Her happiness returned in a wave of joy. She was such a worrywart!
He put his finger over his lips and made a shhh sound as he led her down the hall to the door that would take them to the garage. “I went to the mall today. And I think I got the doll Teagan wanted. I need you to look at it to be sure.”
“Oh.” She wasn’t exactly disappointed. She wanted Teagan to have that special doll as much as he did, but for the past few days their communication had been all about the kids. About him. And then this morning he’d all but ignored her. Though he’d said he appreciated her the night before, the spark of whatever he’d felt for her seemed to be gone.
In the garage, he took the doll out of a huge bag of things he’d bought for the kids. All her odd feelings disappeared. He was getting ready for Christmas...for his kids. He might not be preoccupied with Jack’s grades or Teagan’s DNA, but now Christmas was on his mind. How could she fault him for that?
She smiled at him. “This is the doll.”
“Damn, I’m good.”
She laughed. “Yes, you are.”
Suddenly, Jack appeared at the door. “Hey, Dad! Mrs. Alwine’s here!”
He grabbed the doll from Althea’s hands and tossed it back into his SUV before racing to the door.
Althea followed him.
A tall, thin woman stood in the kitchen, holding Teagan, who hugged her fiercely as if she’d never let her go.
Clark raced over. “Mrs. Alwine! It’s so good to see you! How are you feeling?”
“I’m great. You were right. The extra week of recovery time worked wonders.”
He was right? He’d spoken to Mrs. Alwine and never told her?
“That’s great.”
Mrs. Alwine laughed. “Yeah. It’s great. But I know you need someone to cook for your holiday and I’m back.”
Althea watched as Jack slid on a stool and Clark chatted happily about how they’d gotten on without her because of Althea.
“That’s good. Jack’s grades are up then?”
Clark said, “Yes.”
He talked to her almost the same way he’d spoken to Althea. Friendly. Inclusive. Mrs. Alwine knew as much about Jack as Althea had. With her here, it was as if Althea had no place. Worse, she wasn’t the fifty-year-old woman Althea had pictured her to be. She was probably thirty-five. Young. Happy. Energetic. She probably made cookies. Made supper. Remembered the laundry. And Teagan loved her. So did Jack. So did Clark. Not in the romantic way she’d thought he felt about her. But he clearly loved seeing her, having her back.
“So I can be here tomorrow morning.” She tickled Teagan’s tummy. “We can bake cookies.”
Teagan laughed.
“We made cookies.” And didn’t she feel like an idiot for pointing it out.
Mrs. Alwine smiled. “What did you make?”
“Snicker doodles and shaped sugar cookies. We painted them.”
She tickled Teagan’s tummy again. “Then we’ll make chocolate chip.”
Jack said, “All right!”
Clark smiled.
And Althea suddenly wondered if she hadn’t misinterpreted everything.
Was she so desperate for love that she read things into everything Clark said that he didn’t really mean?
CHAPTER TWELVE
MRS. ALWINE LEFT with a promise to return in the morning. Althea was on her way to her room, when Clark said, “Hey, why don’t we make hot cocoa and sit in front of the tree?”
The kids cheered, so Althea headed for the cupboard with the pans. Jack pulled the cocoa and sugar from the pantry. Clark got the milk. Teagan sat on a tall stool by the center island, her elbow on the marble island top and her chin on her closed fist.
They took the tray of four cups of cocoa into the living room, and Clark turned on the tree lights. Teagan gasped. Jack settled on the cushiony area rug beneath the coffee table. Clark and Althea sat on the sofa.
Clark said, “Do we want to sing?”
Teagan shook her head fiercely. Althea laughed. “We’re not trying to bamboozle you into talking out loud. Singing is part of the holidays.”
She shook her head again.
Jack rose unexpectedly. “Yeah. You know what? I’m kinda tired, too.”
Althea’s gaze whipped to Teagan who all but drooped at the coffee table. “Oh.” She’d been so wrapped up in herself and Clark that she hadn’t noticed. She rose. “Well, let’s put Teagan to bed then.”
Clark waved her down. “I’ll get this. You take a break. You’ve been busy all day.”
When Clark and the kids were gone, she leaned back on the sofa, telling herself to calm down. But she couldn’t.
Part of her worried that she didn’t fit into this household as well as she’d believed. The other part was worried sick about her dad. In her head, she knew the two things were connected. That if she could talk about her dad with Clark then she would relax, stop noticing stupid things and fit again.
She sucked in a breath, staring at the pretty tree. As Clark had mentioned a time or two, Carol had had excellent taste. Though the tree had no theme, the pristine multicolored balls and bells were uniform in size. The multicolored lights shimmered. Silver tinsel bowed from limb to limb leading to the angel who sat on top, like a guardian.
Clark strolled into the room. “Well, that’s done for the night.”
Althea nervously picked up her cocoa.
Clark plopped down beside her. “You look tired yourself.”
“I am. And I—” She faltered. Though it hadn’t seemed difficult to tell him the story of her past, she couldn’t seem to find the words to tell him her dad was very much in her present. Every time she opened her mouth, she remembered him angry with Carol, wondering what she’d been thinking, bringing this much trouble to their door, and the words choked back. Logically, Carol hadn’t thought she’d die. She hadn’t known Teagan’s paternity would be called into question. She hadn’t thought her affair would become public.
Althea, on the other hand, knew her dad, knew he wanted money.
Clark scooted over, slid his hand across her shoulders.
She jumped, then winced. “Sorry.”
He leaned in and kissed her. “Don’t be sorry. I just realized how preoccupied I’d been.” He smiled. “I hoped I could make it up to you.”
She wanted him to. With every fiber of her being she wanted him to. She brushed her lips across his lightly. “What’d you have in mind?”
He returned her kiss. “Oh, a little of t
his and a little of that.”
She laughed. Her tension ebbed. She also remembered that she had a plan to handle her father. Maybe she shouldn’t tell Clark until she’d taken care of it?
He slid closer, pushed her down on the sofa cushion and kissed her again. It felt like coming home. Until the last few days, being with Clark had always been easy. Then Jack’s grades came back good and that problem was solved. DNA results showed Teagan was Clark’s. Mrs. Alwine returned...and no one needed her.
She stopped that thought. Clark wouldn’t be kissing her if he didn’t need her. The oddness she suddenly felt wasn’t from Clark. Ever since her dad had shown up she’d been suspicious, antsy, nervous.
Just as she had been when she’d lived with him.
She knew she was going to take care of him, pay for the car, but she hadn’t been able to tell Clark about her dad’s visits—
She suddenly realized she wanted to talk. She needed to get this out. To share it. That was part of what being a couple was all about.
She stopped kissing him, angled up a bit so that he rose too.
“I...um...”
He gave her a hand to help her up. “It’s all right.” He smiled. “I don’t want to force you into something you’re not ready for.”
“I might actually be ready. Except—”
He laughed. “I know. Everybody’s tired. Jack fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Teagan didn’t even hear her whole story. What’d you and the kids do today?” He shook his head with another laugh. “Whatever it was tomorrow will be better. With Mrs. Alwine here again, you don’t have to worry about dinner or laundry or tidying up. And I’ll be home all day.” He kissed her again. A quick, smacking kiss.
“It’s not that. My dad—”
He stopped her by putting his index finger over her lips. “Sweetie. This is our first holiday together. Don’t spoil it for yourself by remembering things that will make you sad. Enjoy it.”
She blinked, confusion and despair overwhelmed her. She was drowning and he didn’t see. That was the real problem. She’d been there for him every step of the way, helping him handle his problem with Jack and Teagan, but now that she needed him, he wasn’t hearing her.
Still, she might have been nervous and distracted, but he wasn’t a mind reader. Though she’d told him about her dad in the past, she hadn’t told him he’d shown up at their front door.
“It’s just that he—”
He shook his head. “Althea, he’s spoiled every Christmas for you from the time you were a baby. Get it out of your head!”
“He’s here.”
“What?”
“He came here the other day. He wants the money for the car.”
“We’ll give him the money for the car.”
“It’s not that easy.”
He rose, extending his hand to her. “Come on. Go to bed. Get some sleep. In the morning, when you’re not so tired, you’ll see this isn’t as terrible as you think it is.”
She almost stomped her foot and demanded that he listen to her, but the very fact that she wanted to rant and rave made her wonder if he wasn’t right. Maybe she was tired?
In her bedroom, she picked up her cell phone and saw a text from her dad.
Do you have my money yet?
She squeezed her eyes shut. She knew Clark was being supportive, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted her dad gone. She didn’t want to involve Clark and the kids. This family was finally healing, and if Clark got involved she would bring more trouble to their doorstep.
She barely slept that night, so the next morning she didn’t find the relief Clark had assured her she would. Mrs. Alwine had breakfast made—bacon, eggs and toast. Clark stared at his computer screen while he ate his. Teagan grinned happily. Jack chattered about playing another online game with Owen.
When breakfast was done, she excused herself to her room, showered, put on clean jeans and a sweater. She walked through the kitchen, on her way to the den to find the kids, but the kids weren’t in the den. She checked the living room with the tree and their bedroom and Clark’s office.
Finding no one, she ambled back to the kitchen where Mrs. Alwine was leafing through a cookbook.
“Where is everybody?”
Mrs. Alwine laughed. “Special, private mission.”
“Oh.”
And they hadn’t invited her. They hadn’t even told her they were leaving.
Still, she smiled at Mrs. Alwine.
Clark and the kids returned an hour later. They’d had lunch at the mall, so when Althea suggested they all sit down to eat, they told her to eat without them and raced away.
She sat at the kitchen table alone, while Mrs. Alwine puttered around.
“We’re making chocolate chip cookies this afternoon if you’d like to join us.”
Althea glanced up. “Sure. That would be fun.”
Mrs. Alwine brought her coffee to the table and sat. “I know it always seems odd when people come and go mysteriously. But it is Christmas.”
She smiled.
“And the kids must love making cookies with you because they’ve talked about it nonstop.”
Althea nodded.
Mrs. Alwine shook a finger at her. “So don’t be so blue.”
She laughed and helped with the cookies that afternoon, but everything was different.
She was nervous about her dad, unsure about what was going on with her and Clark and now the kids were behaving oddly around her.
That night after the kids were in bed, eager for Christmas Eve the next day, Althea found Clark and confronted him.
“I get it that I’m not a member of the family. But you’ve told me things even you admitted you’d never told anyone else. So the only reason I can figure out that you and the kids left without telling me today is that you left because of something to do with me.”
He sat back on his chair. Gave her a shuttered look. “It does.”
Her heart deflated. Dear God. She was so sure he was about to tell her she was paranoid that when he said their secret was about her she nearly collapsed.
“I see.”
She turned to go but he caught her hand and yanked her to him so hard she fell to his lap. “Althea! It’s Christmastime. The kids had me take them out to buy you gifts.”
Embarrassment overwhelmed her. Oh, God.
He laughed. “They wanted it to be a surprise.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“You’re tired! You’re a single woman who spent an entire month being a mom to two troubled kids. Now that it’s over you’re decompressing or something.”
He placed a smacking kiss on her lips, pushed her off his lap and smacked her bottom. “Go to bed.”
She walked back to her room like a zombie. Her fears forgotten. Her suspicions obliterated. Her mind numb.
She’d felt left out when they were actually doing something nice for her.
She walked into her room, closed the door and leaned against it. It was like being fourteen again, suspecting her dad was mad at her, worried that he’d find out something she didn’t want him to know.
She flopped to the bed, put her head in her hands. This wasn’t about her dad. Clark and the kids weren’t wrong to want to surprise her. They were sweet and she didn’t know how to deal with sweet. Hell, she didn’t know how to deal with normal.
The tears that had gathered in Clark’s office spilled over. He thought she was tired. But she wasn’t tired; she was ruined. She didn’t know how to trust. She did her best work in problems. That’s why she was so good, almost normal, when Jack had troubles and Clark was worried.
Now that they were normal, she floundered.
She swiped her hands across her cheeks to brush away the tears an
d felt their shaking.
She didn’t deserve this family. She most certainly wouldn’t put wonderful Clark through another bad relationship. Damn it! He’d suffered enough—three long years—because of Carol.
She would not put him through anything else.
Sobbing uncontrollably, she rose from the bed, retrieved her suitcase and began packing. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve so she wouldn’t ruin the kids’ Christmas. They had Mrs. Alwine. Clark was healed and whole and able to give them their best Christmas ever. But if she stayed and they gave her their gifts, she would crumble. She’d never be able to leave and Clark would be stuck with another woman who only gave him heartache.
With her clothes packed and her laptop strap over her shoulder, she sneaked through the dark downstairs. All the lights off meant Clark had already gone to bed. She breathed a sigh of relief. Not letting herself take one last longing look toward the upstairs or the Christmas tree twinkling in the moonlight pooling in through the big window, she reached for the doorknob.
“I want pigtails.”
She froze, then spun around. “Teagan,” she whispered. A laugh bubbled up. “I told you when you really wanted something you’d talk.”
Teagan displayed two matching hair ties she held. “I want pigtails.”
She set her suitcases on the floor, slid her laptop beside them. “Honey,” she whispered. “You’re supposed to be in bed.”
Teagan’s response was to shove the two hair ties at her.
She laughed. Rifling through her purse she found a comb. “Okay. We’ll do this quickly.”
She pulled the comb through Teagan’s long dark locks, quickly parted it down the middle of the back of her head and spun the hair ties around two loose ponytails, one by each ear.
She smiled, turning Teagan to face her. “You look adorable.”
Teagan grinned. “I know.”
She shook her head. “So you’re going to talk now?”
She nodded. And Althea felt the door closing on this chapter of her life. With Teagan talking everything that was wrong when she arrived had been fixed.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m just taking a little drive.”
Teagan frowned. “I want you to stay.”