by Young, M. L.
I took out my phone and instead of handing it to her, reinstalled the app myself and said I would be the one in charge of it. Begrudgingly, she said okay before helping me through the steps of creating another account. I didn’t want to connect it to my social media accounts, for fear that somebody on my friends list would find out, so instead I opted to make an account myself and use my email to login.
After putting together a quick profile, which really didn’t seem very in-depth, I was on and a bunch of guys in our area who were in my age range pinged and showed up on a map.
“See, there’s so many to choose from,” Nicolette said.
“This is all so…overwhelming,” I said, as I looked at the plethora of pictures slowing down my phone.
“Don’t let it be. You can sort even more if you’d like,” Nicolette said, as she pointed and showed me.
I clicked on the tab and additional options came up to drill down the searches even more. I picked height, body type, and even what they were looking for. I took off hook-ups and only put on new friends and relationships, which I thought was pretty good. Nicolette said it was good too, so I hit save and the list of guys became much more manageable. It was amazing how many of them went away, and I was left with a few who looked promising.
“Message someone,” she said.
“I thought they’d come to me,” I said.
“Yeah, but it might be guys looking to fuck. If you see someone you like, go for it! It’s 2015, you shouldn’t have to wait for a guy to come to you,” Nicolette said.
A notification popped up that a guy on my list had looked at my profile, and I clicked it to go to his. He was a little different than Blake—okay, a lot different than Blake, but he looked nice. He was of average height and weight, had glasses, and had just a basic style that looked like it didn’t involve a single suit. He was looking for the same things I was, and just as I clicked on his pictures, he messaged me.
“What do I do?” I asked, as I looked at my phone.
“Do you like him?” Nicolette asked.
“I don’t even know him,” I said.
“No, I mean do you like his profile?” she asked.
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine,” I said.
“Then open the message,” she said, as the waitress brought our drinks and appetizer.
“Hi, how are you? I don’t normally message people on here, but I thought you seemed really nice and you were looking for the same things as me so I thought I’d take a chance. My name is Tyler, and I’d really like to get to know you if you’re interested,” he said.
“He seems nice,” I said.
“Loser alert,” Nicolette said, dipping her spring roll into the peanut sauce and taking a bite.
I wrote back, saying it was nice to meet him and I’d like to talk more, before hitting send and putting my phone on silent and back in my bag. Nicolette gave me a weird look before I took my spring roll, which was almost as big as my face, and dipped it in the sauce.
“What?” I asked.
“What if he messages you back?” she asked.
“Let him. I’ll get to it later,” I said, taking a bite.
“Oh, I see what you’re doing,” she said, with a big smile. “Playing hard to get, huh?”
“No, I’m just—”
“It’s okay, I understand,” she said, winking.
I rolled my eyes and ate my spring roll before Nicolette pulled out her phone and showed me some of the guys she’d been talking with. Some were okay, but another was clearly after her ass and nothing more. She was so calm and flirty in her messages, and didn’t seem to have any problems talking to any of the guys.
“How are you so good in these messages?” I asked.
“I’m in marketing, Penny. I know how to sell myself,” she said.
I sipped on my water, as the busboys were always around to fill it back up. I couldn’t even get it down halfway before they were there dumping more in. It was like I was being doted on hand and foot, but I couldn’t say I didn’t like it. I guess Blake did rub off on me a little.
Our food soon came and I pierced the fortress of noodles with my fork and watched as billows of steam flowed out and floated into the air. I rolled some up on my fork and blew on it as Nicolette, still looking at her phone, did the same.
The flavor danced on my tongue as I tried my best not to just shove my face into the plate and eat it without utensils. It was that good. With my stomach soon full, I pushed my plate forward and said no thanks to the waitress when she came by and asked if I wanted to box the rest of it up. I knew having even a sliver of my original portion back home would only make me crave it more. I was better off just cutting the cord now.
We split the bill, even though Nicolette offered to pay because of my job situation, but I put down thirteen bucks and made her take it.
We walked out of the restaurant and got into her car. As a Pad Thai burp wafted out of my mouth, we drove home, where we would sit around and watch trashy television all night long. It was going to be nice.
CHAPTER TWO
Blake
There are things in life we can’t always control. That’s a given. For me, though, that just wasn’t acceptable.
I’d changed my ways since those days. While I still craved control, I knew that sometimes it wasn’t always possible to have what you wanted when you wanted it. Money and power won’t always bring you happiness, even though they can sure damn try. I learned that the hard way with Penny. I’d tried to contact her multiple times in multiple ways. I’d called her, texted her, emailed her, and even thought about sending her flowers, though I didn’t do that. I just wanted a moment to spend with her to explain myself better and have the closure that would come if I spilled it out there and she still said no. At least I’d know I tried.
Work had gone by slowly, though I was still the shark I’d always been. If anything, the breakup with Penny had made me even more of a shark and led to deals I might not have had before. I shouldn’t admit it, but I think it was a way for me to still keep that ounce of control in my life that I so desperately wanted and needed. Maybe it would keep me feeling in power, even if it were a small facet of my life.
I picked up my phone as I got out of a meeting and hoped that I would have something. I did, though it wasn’t from her. I unlocked my phone before going to my messages and opening our thread. I scrolled up, past my pathetic attempts at winning her back, and towards the better times. I guess I’d never gotten around to wiping the old texts like I usually did with all my messages in case of a hack, but I was glad I didn’t get rid of them. They were important right now.
I started to type as the phone scrolled down and my letters appeared below. It was simple, a “can we talk,” but it seemed so much more important than that. How could something so small seem so important?
I sent it, though I think I already knew the answer she was going to give me. It was going to be a resounding no, but I supposed I was prepared for it.
Tom had suggested I take someone out and get my mind off her, but I didn’t think it would be that easy. He said if I met someone else who was nice and fun I wouldn’t even remember Penny’s name later on, but that seemed, I don’t know, wrong. After all, what if she did come around and then found out I’d been dating other women? I’d shoot myself in the foot. I guess I’d just have to wait and see if she replied. But I couldn’t sit around forever, could I?
There was a knock at my door and in came Grace, who was carrying a stack of files that I knew were presents for me.
“I have some files for the buyout. They want you to go over them and how the company and board plan to merge their services with our already existing ones. They also want you to come up with a few ideas, they said,” Grace said, as she set the files on my desk.
“I love that we have the money and influence to buy out other companies, but this is always a pain in the ass. Oh well, I guess it’s for the best,” I said.
Grace smiled and nodded before walking out
and closing the door behind her. I pulled the first file off, which had a whole lot of jargon that I didn’t understand and never wanted to. I set the file back on top before kicking my feet up and looking out the window.
I pulled out my phone, opened my special version of the app, and perused the slew of women who presented themselves to me. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to go out to dinner with one. I wasn’t going to fuck her, but I could always have somebody to go out with and just talk to. Who knows, maybe things would change for me and Penelope would be nothing more than a distant memory. That was what she was supposed to be in the beginning, right? Okay, I knew that wouldn’t happen, but at least I’d get out and stop shutting myself in to work.
I picked out one girl, who was about in the middle between a girl like Penny and the plastic type of girl I always went out with before Penny. I think she’d tainted my taste a little bit. Actually, I knew she tainted my taste in women a lot.
I typed a message, nothing special, and within five minutes already had a reply and her phone number, which I thought was a good sign. After looking at her pictures and deciding she looked good enough to be seen with, I sent her a text from a different phone number I had and set up a date for three nights later at some Mexican restaurant she was raving about. I usually went for a little finer dining, but I wasn’t averse to trying the local culture and flavors every now and again. After all, great things can come from taking yourself out of your usual comfort zone.
I told her I’d see her there and cut off communication, as I didn’t want to sit and chat all day with a girl who appeared to be connected to her phone at the hip. As I stood up, looked out my windows, and looked over my empire, my mind was already being taken away.
Maybe I stood a chance at being normal again.
CHAPTER THREE
Penelope
A few days later I sat in class, bored, before my phone buzzed and I peeked at it. It was Tyler, the guy who’d messaged me the other day on RandomMeetX. We’d chatted a little bit, but nothing too serious. He was nice, but I wasn’t positive we were compatible. Still, though, I was holding true to my word and at least getting to know him so I could see if anything was there.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked.
Typing slowly so my professor wouldn’t see, I replied, telling him I hadn’t made any plans.
“Would you like to go to dinner? I know this great Mexican place we could go to. Best burritos in town,” he said.
I agreed, saying it would be nice and getting the name from him so I could meet him there. He offered to pick me up, but I declined, stating how I didn’t really know him and would rather meet him on my own before going to that stage. He was very polite and understanding, and quickly backed off the subject, which I appreciated. He said to meet him there at seven-thirty, and he would try to set up a reservation for us.
Blake had texted me the other day, but I never replied. I typed something out, something regrettably long, but I ended up deleting it before I could get myself to send it. Nicolette said I should say something and do to him what he did to me, but I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to do it. I wasn’t a pushover, but I wasn’t a bitch, either. Using him for my own personal gain seemed like it would only hurt us even more down the road if we did patch things up. After all, what if things went back to normal and then he found out I did the same thing to him? I guess he couldn’t get incredibly mad at me, but it might put another crack in our trust for one another.
I did have to admit that while he’d been gone I’d missed other things about him. Things I couldn’t really get from other guys, though I guess I could get a sorry attempt at it. I did miss the sex—a lot. After all, our little arrangement was mostly about it, so going without sex all this time wasn’t exactly good for my mind, body, or spirit. I knew he wasn’t texting and calling me to get that, but I almost wanted to call him in the same way he used to call me. Just use him for it.
I went back to taking notes and getting hand cramps, as this professor always said way too much and never seemed to take a breath. I was sure her husband really appreciated that personality trait of hers.
I’d been doing well in my classes so far, with my lowest grade being a B, though it was because I’d forgotten a page of homework that my printer must’ve never printed out or that I lost, because I’d been on top of things otherwise. Even though it was my final semester, I couldn’t celebrate or coast until I knew for a fact that I’d passed everything. How embarrassing would it be to sit here thinking things were great and then fail at the last minute? That would really screw up my job plans.
I walked out of class with my backpack slung around my shoulders before my phone buzzed in my pocket. I stopped to the side as dozens of students walked past me and pulled it out to see a number I didn’t recognize. Without thinking, I opened it and answered.
“Hello, is this Penelope?” a woman asked.
“Yes, this is she,” I replied, putting my finger up to my free ear to drown out the noise.
“Hi, Penelope, this is Karen. We interviewed the other day,” she said.
“Yes, hi, how are you?” I asked, as I smiled a little bit.
I knew she’d said they’d call us either way, and I’d been waiting for this call, but I didn’t know what she’d say. She didn’t sound incredibly happy or thrilled, but then again she didn’t seem all too chipper when I met her the other day.
“I was just calling because the other day during your interview I said we’d call whether we’d offer a job or not. Well, I’m pleased to say you made the cut and we’d like to extend an offer for the perfume girl position if you’re still interested,” Karen said.
I bit my lower lip and smiled profusely as I made a fist and thanked the heavens.
“Yes! I’d love to accept,” I said, as I felt a small weight being lifted off my shoulders.
“Great! We’d like to get you into training as soon as possible because we’ve been without somebody in this position and we want to take the strain off of others who’ve been filling in. Would you be available to start training tomorrow?” Karen asked.
“Yeah, that should be fine. I don’t see any problems,” I said.
“Great. Please be here at two. You’ll have four hours of training, and please wear black slacks and a white shirt. It can either be a button-up or just a nice white blouse. Come to my office when you get here and I’ll get you set up,” Karen said.
“That sounds great. Thank you so much for the opportunity, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
“Thank you, have a good day,” she said.
I hung up the phone and almost broke out in a dance as I quickly pulled up my messages and texted Nicolette. I knew it wouldn’t be as exciting as her job, or as when I got a full-time position, but it was still great nonetheless. Now I just needed to make sure I didn’t stay out too late tonight. I didn’t want to have bloodshot eyes with bags under them.
“Really? That?” Nicolette asked, as I came out in my outfit for my date.
“What’s wrong with it?” I asked, as I looked myself up and down.
“It’s not good for a date like this, Penny. This is a first date, and it sounds pretty casual. You’re wearing a hot dress,” Nicolette said.
“Yeah, but all my other clothes suck, remember?” I asked.
“You should’ve gotten more out of Blake. That’s your own fault. Here, at least put this jacket on. It will add a little more depth and cover up your shoulders and arms. That way you look a little more casual without showing too much off,” Nicolette said, getting a small jean jacket for me to put on.
I put it on and pulled my hair out before looking at myself again and seeing that she had a point. It did look a little more date-like, and not so much hot-night-on-the-town-like. I guess it was a little much to be wearing at a Mexican restaurant that wasn’t exactly expensive.
“Have your condoms?” she asked, as I put my stuff in another bag.
“Nic, I’m not fucking him,” I said
.
“Hey, it’s always better to have them and never use them than to want them and not have them. Take one,” she said, before ripping one off a roll and shoving it into my purse.
I left it in, but shoved it far down so it wouldn’t accidentally fall out later tonight. Tyler seemed like a nice guy, but I didn’t want to give him any kind of impressions about what was going to happen tonight.
I put on my shoes and checked my phone to see Tyler had texted me half an hour before saying he’d see me soon. I sent him a text saying I was leaving soon, though Nic told me I shouldn’t and should’ve just left. She said it was great making guys wonder if you were going to show up or not. I wasn’t quite that cruel.
“Well, here I go,” I said, as I unlocked the front door.
“Good luck. Don’t forget to text me if you need a quick out,” Nicolette said.
Nicolette quickly locked the door behind me and I walked out of the building as a blast of crisp, cool air beat against my bare legs. I’d put another jacket on top of the one I was wearing, but even it wasn’t strong enough to keep the cool air completely at bay. Maybe there was just no winning as a woman in a cooler climate.
There were people standing outside the restaurant laughing and talking as I walked up. Live music was playing from inside, and as I walked up to the door Tyler stood up and walked over to me.
“Hi!” he said enthusiastically, as if he were surprised I’d showed up.
“Hi, Tyler, how are you?” I asked, as I shook his hand.
“I’m great. Would you like to go inside and get our table? It’s a bit chilly out here,” he said.
“That would be great,” I said with a smile.
We walked inside the packed restaurant, where a hostess wearing all black stood behind a wooden podium with the Mexican flag painted on the front. She took Tyler’s name and said our table was ready before grabbing two menus and walking us over. We sat down at a smaller table, one with only two chairs, and opened our menus, not saying a single world to one another.