by A. E. Rayne
‘Me? I suppose so,’ Ivaar said casually. ‘Although now? By the look of Eadmund last night, I’d say even Eydis could beat him!’ He watched her expression as he laughed, testing her.
Jael laughed along with him. ‘Having seen him train, I would agree with you. And easily too. Eadmund defeats himself most of the time, just by tripping over his own feet!’ It felt oddly disloyal to talk about him that way, but it was just what Ivaar wanted to hear. His smile grew wider, almost reaching his eyes, so she kept going. ‘Don’t mark him down as head of your army, when you take the throne.’
Ivaar stilled. ‘Is that what you think will happen? That I will be king here?’
‘Isn’t that why Eirik called you back?’ Jael suggested.
‘Yes, I suppose it is,’ Ivaar said, his eyes darting about uncertainly. ‘It’s just so long since it was taken from me now. It feels strange to talk about it after all this time. And of course, looking at my father, he could rule for another decade at least, don’t you think?’
Jael glanced over at Eirik, who was trying to talk to Eydis. ‘Well, no one ever knows what plans the gods are making for us, do they? It would be no fun for them if everything went as we expected.’
Eirik frowned as he watched Jael and Ivaar smiling at one another.
‘Jael is making more of an effort with Ivaar than that husband of her’s,’ Eirik muttered to his daughter.
‘You can’t expect Eadmund to want to talk to Ivaar,’ Eydis whispered crossly. ‘Not after what he did.’
Eirik dragged a piece of bread around his plate, mopping up the leftover juices of his meal. ‘No, I don’t suppose I can.’ He stopped and sighed, feeling his eyebrows release the giant crease they had been working into the middle of his forehead. He had been irate, on edge, and ornery for days now and nothing seemed to be shifting. He knew he had to do something, though, before he ended up completely isolating everyone he cared about.
‘You must give Eadmund some time, Father,’ Eydis warned. ‘This will have set him back again.’
‘Mmmm, well let’s hope he doesn’t take seven years to recover himself this time, as I certainly won’t live to see it!’ He peered at his daughter, wishing she could see him; see the fear that lived behind the rheumy film of his fading eyes, the threat of his impending death, which haunted him daily. But then, he remembered, she was only 13; why should he terrorise her with his own nightmares?
As much as she worried about her father, Eydis was still cross and didn’t feel like talking to him at all. She was anxious to know what had happened to Eadmund, what Jael was doing befriending Ivaar, and whether Thorgils had spoken to Isaura. She felt frustrated as she sat on the outside, waiting for someone to tell her what was going on. There was too much noise: the spitting of fires, the low hum of constant chatter, servants clearing plates, warriors jeering. She had struggled to pick up anything that would tell her exactly what was going on. And if she didn’t know what was going on, how could she help anyone?
‘I think I’ll go to my bed now, Father,’ Eydis decided, standing up. ‘Goodnight.’
‘Already?’ Eirik frowned. ‘Are you unwell?’
‘No. I would just rather be by myself now,’ she said firmly. ‘It’s too noisy in here for me. Goodnight.’
Eirik watched Eydis leave, resisting the urge to get up and help her; it would only irritate her further.
‘Sleep well,’ Isaura murmured, looking up as Eydis felt her way to the wall.
‘Goodnight, Eydis,’ Jael called as she took her seat next to Isaura, thankful to have escaped Ivaar at last. She smiled briefly at the small, golden-haired woman, who quickly returned her gaze to the plate she had been picking at. Jael was not usually concerned with being friendly, but she felt compelled to attempt conversation. Isaura might be Ivaar’s wife, but she was Thorgils’ woman. And Thorgils was her friend. ‘I understand you were all very close growing up, you, Thorgils, and Eadmund,’ Jael said lightly as she took a sip of ale.
‘We were,’ Isaura sighed. ‘It was a long time ago now, though. We are all much changed.’
‘Even Thorgils?’
‘Well, no,’ she smiled. ‘He looks much as I left him.’
‘On the outside, perhaps,’ Jael suggested carefully. ‘He has a thick hide, that one.’
‘I am glad of it,’ Isaura whispered. ‘It has not been easy, all these years.’
‘But now you are back.’
‘And that is even worse,’ she grimaced, forcing a smile on her face as Ivaar glanced her way. ‘Worse because now we cannot even look at one another, and yet we are finally close again.’ She shook her head, annoyed with herself. ‘I shouldn’t speak so. There is no point to any of it.’
‘Perhaps you should speak to Eydis? She might have a dream for you.’
Isaura looked puzzled. ‘Eydis is having dreams? She’s a dreamer now?’
‘You didn’t know?’ Jael was surprised. She leaned in and lowered her voice. ‘She saw you and Ivaar coming. Saw that girl getting pregnant. What else she has seen I’m not sure, but I don’t think much of it is good.’
‘No, I’m not surprised to hear that. I don’t think any good is going to come from our return at all.’
Jael didn’t know what to say. Isaura obviously didn’t like her husband, and from the few condescending looks she had seen Ivaar give his wife, the feeling appeared mutual. So, if she was hoping to construct a friendship with Ivaar, she realised that she could hardly start one with Isaura, which suited her just fine. She’d never had a female friend, apart from Biddy, who was simply Biddy, and neither man, nor woman in Jael’s eyes, or Eydis, who was a child and didn’t count. She was more than happy to leave it that way. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said shortly and turned her face towards the doors, wondering if Eadmund was going to burst through them tonight. It felt odd without him sitting next to her. She hoped Thorgils would be able to find him.
‘You won’t find what you are looking for here, Edela.’
It was just a voice. In the darkness. She couldn’t see anyone, but the voice rumbled around inside the black, foul-smelling mist that hung everywhere. It rolled and echoed, and she felt the warning in it.
Edela could hear her breath, ragged and heavy in her ears, as she stood, listening in the nothingness.
‘Go back to Brekka. Keep out of those things which do not concern you, Edela. This is not something you want a part of. This will end in death, and there is nothing you can do about that, I promise you,’ the voice cackled hoarsely. ‘Everyone you love will die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it, I promise you... I promise you!’
There was laughter then. Wild, hysterical, female laughter. Edela could feel the shiver race over her skin as the darkness came to claim her.
32
Osbert was bored. He wished winter would hurry up and be done; he was ready for something to happen. The invasion of Hest, planned by two, old, addle-brained kings was sure to end in disaster, but he couldn’t wait for it to begin. He was desperate for any form of excitement, even if it ended in a bloody death for them all. Anything would be better than this constant, white, bone-chilling boredom that he had plodded through since Jael’s departure.
How strange, he thought to himself, as he turned towards the hall, that he should miss his cousin so. Well, not if he were truly honest, he supposed. She was an exciting woman, despite all her obvious flaws. When he was around her, he felt alive. He missed her scowls and insults; missed the opportunity to tease and torment her. And now there wasn’t even the heartbroken Aleksander to entertain himself with; he truly was bored. And no matter how many big-titted women writhed beneath him every night, his days had become a shadowy existence of predictable nothingness.
Osbert shook his head and kicked out at the snow in front of him. Cross. Bothered. Aimless. Then he heard a voice and looked up, a smile curling one corner of his thin lips. Amma.
By the drop of her head and the slowness of her walk, he could tell that she was unhappy; sti
ll stewing over her public humiliation, no doubt. He smiled; there was fun to be had here. ‘Amma!’ he called, watching as she froze.
She didn’t look around, but her two companions did. They glanced anxiously behind themselves, and, seeing Osbert, they squeezed Amma’s arm and hurried away, leaving her to his mercy.
Jael had wandered far away from Oss in the night and had woken up lost and unsettled. Her dreams had been filled with childhood memories; memories of her father, of training with Aleksander. She had not thought of him in days and felt a guilty stab in her heart as she realised that.
Vella crept over to Jael and curled up into her chest. She sighed and reached out to stroke her, wondering if Aleksander was waiting for her? Did she still want him to? She saw Eadmund’s sad face and felt confused, and then annoyed with herself for even daring to feel confused. It was Aleksander! How could she think of Eadmund, when she loved Aleksander?
She pulled the furs around her neck, sinking further down into them, wanting to feel warm again, to fall back into her dreams. She smiled sadly, remembering how Ranuf would bark instructions at them as they trained, his face always a dark mix of disappointment and fury. She would spend most days crying in the beginning, wanting to be so much better than she was, to please him, to earn his elusive approval. He would roll his eyes, she remembered, and huff and puff his way over to Gant, who would soothe his nerves and send him back over, calmer and ready to give both children a second chance. It didn’t seem so long ago, but it was, a lifetime ago. And now he wasn’t here, and nor was Aleksander, and she felt very alone.
‘Where have you been?’ Thorgils sighed in exasperation. ‘I’ve spent a whole day and night looking for you. Not for the first time!’
Eadmund hung his head. He didn’t know what to say. Not for the first time.
‘We thought something had happened to you! Are you alright?’
‘We?’ Eadmund lifted his head.
‘Everyone! Torstan, Erland, Klaufi... we’ve all been looking for you.’
‘Oh.’ Eadmund hung his head again, staring at the floor. He didn’t know what to say. He had wanted to be alone, desperately so, but it was embarrassing to think his friends had wasted their time searching for him.
They were standing just inside the doorway of Eadmund’s cold cottage. There was no hint of a fire.
‘You haven’t been here all night, have you?’ Thorgils grumbled, peering past his friend into the dank smelling darkness. ‘I came here at least three times, but there was no sign of you.’
‘No, I was down on the beach in the drying sheds, for some of the night at least. I wandered around a lot. I wasn’t trying to be found, I suppose,’ Eadmund mumbled as he ushered Thorgils inside, albeit reluctantly. He was in no state to make sense of his thoughts and turn them into words; he wasn’t looking for company.
‘We have to talk, you and I,’ Thorgils said firmly. ‘You cannot allow Ivaar to send you back down into that dark place. You were just climbing out of it. You can’t let him have that power over you again!’
‘It’s not as easy as that,’ Eadmund sighed, sinking onto the bed.
‘I know, believe me, if anyone knows, it’s me,’ Thorgils said sympathetically as he took a stool and placed it in front of Eadmund.
‘What was Jael doing with him, like that?’ Eadmund frowned, his mind wandering far away. ‘That’s what I don’t understand. She knows what he did, but the way she was smiling at him... I don’t understand...’
Eadmund looked so genuinely hurt that Thorgils didn’t know what to say. He thought about revealing Jael’s foolish plan. It would have eased Eadmund’s mind, he was certain, yet there was a part of him that believed Jael was doing the right thing. And he knew that Eadmund was not to be trusted, not until he was sober and able to keep his mouth shut around Ivaar. He couldn’t know about their plan. Not yet.
‘I wouldn’t think on it too much. Women can be fickle, even Jael, it seems,’ Thorgils said dismissively as he got up and started examining the contents of the cottage. ‘I have to go before Jael leaves without me, but you have enough to get a fire started in here, so get one going before your balls drop off!’ He stood up and headed for the door, then turned around, worried. ‘And stay here, please, just stay here today, and we will talk more when I get back. I do know something that will help you, I promise. There may be a way that all of this might start to feel better.’ He opened the door. ‘Just stay here, Eadmund. Don’t go wandering off again!’
‘Do you feel like some company?’ Ivaar wondered as he leaned over Jael.
She was crouching down, inspecting Tig’s hooves, checking for any rot. Thankfully there was none, but there was the sudden problem of Ivaar. She stood up, trying not to show her annoyance. ‘Company?’
‘On your ride? Unless you’d rather be alone?’ He looked at her keenly, trying to read her expression. It was early morning; he thought she looked tired.
Jael tried to smooth away her frustration. ‘No, I’ll take some company,’ she smiled tightly, wondering what she was doing; Thorgils was not going to be pleased with her. ‘You can saddle up my other horse, Leada. She’s in the stables. I’ll be back in a moment.’
Jael headed into the house.
‘Biddy,’ she hissed urgently as she closed the door, pushing Ido and Vella away as they jumped up, begging to go with her. ‘Biddy!’
Biddy emerged from the bedchamber, frowning. ‘What is it?’
‘Find Thorgils, and tell him Ivaar invited me for a ride, so we can’t train this morning.’
Biddy raised one eyebrow in disapproval, sticking her hands firmly into her hips.
‘It’s the best thing,’ Jael insisted. ‘Listen, tell him I’ll be gone with Ivaar for a good while, so he can go and speak to Isaura. That should keep him happy.’
Biddy followed her to the door. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she whispered sternly.
‘So do I,’ Jael said uncertainly. ‘For all our sakes.’
‘What do you want, Osbert?’ Amma snapped as she spun around, her long, brown hair flapping angrily behind her in the wind. She was still smarting from her father’s words but knew that the whole scene had only played out because of her brother’s petty trouble making.
‘My sister! My last, unmarried sister,’ Osbert purred, smiling his way towards her. ‘It is so brave of you to show your plain little face again after your very public humiliation.’
Amma frowned and stepped forwards. She was slightly taller than her brother and peered down at him, her face full of disdain. ‘Well then, I suppose I am brave, which is a compliment, don’t you know? So much better than people calling you small, or petty, or mean.’
Osbert squirmed; he hated the way she was leaning over him. He dropped his shoulders back and sucked in his stomach, rising slightly on his toes. ‘Well, let us see how brave you are when Father introduces you to your new husband.’
Amma’s face paled, and she shrunk backwards somewhat.
Osbert smiled, his chest puffing out with renewed confidence; it was always a pleasant feeling to reassert his power over a weaker opponent. ‘Oh, that’s right,’ he said slowly, with wide, innocent eyes. ‘You don’t know about that, do you?’ He shook his head in mock horror. ‘Oh, I shouldn’t have said anything, should I? Father is going to be so cross with me.’ And smiling, he stepped around his sister and started to walk off. He assumed that she would say something, call him back, but Amma just stood there, frozen to the spot. He paused, realising the game would end if he didn’t do something, so he turned around and walked back to her, placing his mouth to her ear. ‘I wouldn’t worry, though. I hear the weather in Hest is so warm in winter that you don’t even need a cloak.’
Osbert heard her sharp intake of breath and felt much better. Now he’d surely set her head spinning. He’d be able to sit back and watch her crumble over the coming days, too angry and afraid to even talk to their father about it; she would just simmer. Perfect. He turned and walked off, feeling as tho
ugh the day, barely started, was already a success.
Amma stood shaking as he left, realising that her life was about to unravel. She could see how Jael must have felt, and that was Jael, who was capable of killing any man in Osterland. But even Jael had been unable to stop her marriage to that drunken fool. What hope did she possibly have?
The sun was out for the first time in days, and despite the frigid air, Jael was relieved to be set free from the confines of the house and her suffocating thoughts. She tried to forget her unease about Ivaar’s company and her anxiety about Thorgils, and just let everything blow away into the wind; lost and forgotten, just as she wished to be today. It proved impossible, though, and she frowned, all her thoughts tumbling back into her head. Eadmund, Ivaar, Tarak, and Aleksander all rushed around inside her there. It was getting messier by the moment.
‘Are you alright?’ Ivaar looked concerned, as he came alongside her.
‘Yes, fine. I didn’t sleep much last night.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Ivaar said sympathetically as he walked Leada slowly next to Tig. ‘We don’t have to stay out long.’
‘No, no I love it out here,’ Jael insisted. ‘Riding away from the fort is my favourite thing about living here!’
Ivaar laughed. ‘Well, I can’t blame you there.’
They carefully navigated a narrow path that led them down into a small valley. ‘I have missed this place,’ he sighed, his eyes travelling up and down the dark, chiselled cliffs that bordered their route. ‘Kalfa is a nothing sort of place compared to Oss. Oss is full of bold shapes and hidden surprises. There’s so much I’d forgotten.’
Jael stole a quick glance at his face; he appeared genuinely happy. ‘It must have been hard being away for so long.’
Ivaar turned to look at her. ‘Hard?’ He considered that. ‘Yes, it was. I suppose you can understand how it felt. You didn’t want to leave Brekka, did you?’