To Sir

by Rachell Nichole

  “Please tell me you’re bringing wine,” she said as soon as she spotted Chase’s firm butt around the corner. He was bending down to reach something in the bottom of the fridge.

  He stood and smiled, two bottles already in his hands. “Mmm. You read my mind.”

  She’d need the wine. First for the nerves, and then after for the fallout. In the weighted silence, she helped him finish packing their lunch of fresh strawberries, a baguette, cold cuts, cheese, and cheesecake. She put the two bottles of sweet white wine on the bottom of the cooler, then packed the rest on top and put the paper products and baguette in a bag.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  She nodded, and they carried the parcels out to his car. No matter how the afternoon went, she could trust Chase to see her safely home, whether or not he was pissed off. He was a good man. A wonderful man. And as she climbed into the car beside him, her throat clenched. At least she knew she’d done whatever she could to make his life better, even if that meant not having her in it.

  CHASE’S SWEATY HANDS slipped on the handle of the plastic bag, and he almost dropped half their lunch. He tightened his grip and took a shaky breath. This was it. He followed Liz up the ridge of a hill to a lovely grassy spot on the other side beneath a tree. The heat of the desert air was cooler in the park, the trees and surrounding mountains offering some protection from the oppressive sun. They spread the blanket and sat down. They’d been quiet on the ride out to the park, both of them not saying things he knew they should.

  After setting down the plastic bag, he opened the cooler Liz had carried and set out their spread. He had to make his proposal just right. Had to show her with his actions and words that he truly loved her before he presented her with the collar. Maybe Dusty had been right. It sure had felt right the past three days as he made the collar. He’d bought the supplies at a local jeweler, then painstakingly worked out the perfect design. He’d discarded several attempts the first two days, but what he’d ended up with was beautiful. It would sit precisely on Liz’s neck with the interwoven triple strands of leather. Right in the middle hung a small silver-and-purple mask that would rest in the hollow of her throat, as long as he’d done it correctly.

  Frustration had been like a living thing inside him as he’d worked his thick fingers over the small leather straps again and again, trying to get the necklace perfect. He’d needed time, patience, and determination to craft it, and it had been made with love, cheesy as that sounded. He was head over heels in love with this woman, and he prayed she would accept this gift and continue on this journey with her penniless, unemployed Dom.

  He popped open the container of strawberries and silently held one to her lips. She grinned and opened, letting him slide the fruit between those beautiful and talented lips. She moaned in appreciation as she bit down. Her throat worked as she swallowed, and he was reminded of the night when she’d trusted him enough to let him blindfold her and feed her for well over an hour, teasing her incensed senses of taste and smell. So much had happened since that first night she’d been officially his that it seemed like months ago, not four weeks.

  Heat bloomed in her eyes as she stared at him, and he knew she was remembering the same scene. She leaned forward, showing him the delicious swell of her breasts, and he slipped another bite of strawberry into her mouth. She ate from his fingers for several quiet moments, and he let the slow burn of desire wash over them both.

  “Your turn,” she said finally, reaching into the bowl.

  He chuckled and leaned back on his arms, letting his legs spread out and cross at the ankles in a feigned relaxed pose. He was anything but relaxed. She sipped some wine, then dipped the strawberry into her glass before bringing it to his lips. He licked the drops of wine from the tip of the fruit, then savored the mixed tastes as he slowly chewed and swallowed. She fed him more fruit, followed by cheese, bites of baguette, and meat. He nipped playfully at her fingers a few times, sucking the tip of one into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it until she moaned and yanked her hand back.

  “We’re in public, Sir.” She waggled her finger at him and tsked, laughing.

  He pulled her upper body down on his, and she steadied herself by placing her hands on his chest. He kissed her deeply and cupped the back of her head to hold her close. She leaned into his touch, kissing him with the same passion. When she pulled back from him, her eyes were glazed with lust and affection.

  She’d called him Sir. In public. He grinned. Now or never. He sat them up, and she settled back onto her heels, her denim-clad legs bending so she rested on her knees and shins. Automatically in the submissive position. His perfect little bratty sub.

  His heart fluttered as he reached into his pocket for the plain black velvet box that held the collar. Her gaze darted from his face to the box and back again. The lust in her eyes faded, quickly replaced by a wariness that shredded his insides.

  “I want to thank you for agreeing to give this a try,” he began. He’d had a whole speech planned out, a list of reasons why she should confess to him whatever she’d been hiding and agree to stay with him for the foreseeable future. Somewhere in the speech he’d also mentioned the L word, but he seemed to be incapable of saying anything else.

  She sighed. “I’m really glad I did. It’s been…incredible,” she said sadly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

  “This is for you,” he said, handing her the box.

  She stroked the velvet with her middle finger. “What is it?” she asked.

  “Oh, for crying out loud, open the damned thing,” he snapped. The waiting was killing him. He had to know one way or the other. Was this the last time they would see each other? Did they just have their last kiss?

  With a small smile, she opened the box and gasped. She touched the necklace with one hesitant finger. “Oh, Chase. This is beautiful.” She looked up at him, tears swimming in her eyes. Devastation painted her face.

  “Do you know what it is? What it means?” he pressed. He had to know for sure that she was rejecting their permanent relationship, that she was rebuking his dominance and not just upset over the gift itself.

  She bit her bottom lip and glanced down, shaking her head.

  He took her free hand in his and waited for her gaze to rise to his again. “It’s a collar.”

  Her bottom lip quivered, and tears slipped silently from the corners of her eyes. “Oh, Chase, you can’t… I…” She closed her eyes.

  “It would be a permanent reminder of our relationship, not in the most accepted sense of a collar. You would still only submit to me the way you have been, in little ways during your regular life, and then sexually. It’s…” He paused and had to clear his throat. “It’s a commitment that we would stay together, that you would be mine.”

  Her hand tensed in his, but she didn’t protest.

  “But also that I would be yours,” he whispered.

  He’d never wanted to have anyone else’s permanent submission, and he didn’t want a 24–7 Master/slave relationship. He wanted a more traditional romantic public life with her. Maybe someday involving wedding rings and even kids. But first, he wanted her to say yes. Wanted her to commit and know that she was more to him than simply his submissive.

  She shook with silent sobs, as if he was somehow breaking her heart instead of the other way around.

  “For fuck’s sake, would you say something?”

  “I… God, Chase, I have to tell you… Take this.” She shoved the box at him as if it burned her skin. “Please,” she begged when he didn’t accept it.

  With a sigh, he took the box from her and set it on the blanket beside him. “What? What do you have to tell me?” It must be the secret she’d been keeping from him. But what could be so horrendous that it was making her shake as she prepared to tell him?

  She took a deep breath. “If you still want to give that to me after I tell you this, then…yes. I accept. I will wear it to remind me of your commitment, your dominance, and I will agree to a
long-term relationship if that’s what you want.”

  She’d say yes.

  It didn’t matter what she had to tell him. Nothing could take away from the fact that she wanted him. He crushed her body to his, fusing their lips together and pouring the relief, the lust, the love into his hands and mouth as they devoured her.

  “No. Chase. Don’t,” she said, pushing against his chest.

  “Get your filthy hands off my daughter!”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Elizabeth Leigh Johnson, get away from that deviant this instant,” her father snarled from somewhere behind Chase.

  Liz’s stomach dropped, rolling in on itself and threatening to make her sick. Chase tensed with his arms still wrapped around her and his face an inch from hers. She saw the dawning realization in his eyes as he placed her father’s voice and her given last name. Emotions flickered through his eyes faster than she could follow them, but she was pretty sure she saw anger, hatred, and disgust among them. For her?

  She wouldn’t be surprised. Couldn’t blame him, really. She licked her Mojave-dry lips and clutched Chase’s shirt where she’d seconds ago been trying to push him away. She was tempted to hide behind him, even without knowing if he would protect her. The urge was strong to let him, and the novelty of that idea, and the way she’d changed so much in the past few weeks, made her whisper, “And that would be part of what I was trying to tell you.”

  “I said get away from him,” Senator Johnson threatened in a low, sinister voice.

  She released her hold on Chase and blinked, trying to clear her eyes of the drying tears. She pushed back from Chase, and he let her go. She quickly rose to her feet and waltzed to her father, her head held high. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore, Father.” Her hand rose, heading for her earlobe, but it was captured midair.

  Chase cupped her hand gently for a beat, then threaded his fingers with hers, lowering their joined hands to swing between their bodies as he stood beside her.

  “You’re even more of a—”

  “Shut up, Daddy,” she said, her voice low, controlled, and full of confidence. She hadn’t called him Daddy since she was very young, and he recoiled as if she’d slapped him.

  “Do you…do you have any idea who that is?”

  “I do. And you are going to stop your crusade against him and the people like him right now.”

  “Like hell I am.”

  “Chase?”

  “Yeah, sweetheart?”

  “Grab my purse, would you?” She glanced at him over her shoulder with a sweet smile on her lips.

  He raised his eyebrows, and she lifted her chin.

  “Sure, baby,” he said, turning and grabbing her purse, then handing it to her. She slipped her hand free of his and opened her bag, then took out the thick manila folder.

  “No wonder that things weighs a ton,” Chase said wryly.

  At least he seemed to have some sense of humor left. She couldn’t imagine what was going through his mind right now. For the moment, he was standing by her. Figuratively as well as literally. Calling her sweetheart and baby in front of her dad had been a nice touch, a way to present a united front. Whatever happened between them, he was still trying to protect her. And in that instant, she’d never loved anyone more.

  She opened the envelope. “This is a list of your constituents who disagree with your push for new zoning laws in the warehouse district.” She handed the thick stack of bound papers to him. “This is the list of your constituents who are members of the K Club, or clubs like it in the state.” She gave him that list. “Note my name at the top of both lists.” She grinned and leafed through the rest of the folder.

  “Oh, yes, and this would be the list of public outrage and opposition to your crusade and the proposed bill.” That was an even larger stack.

  “And let’s see. What else have I got?” She rummaged through the envelope. “Ah, yes. This is the list of your fellow senators who will be voting against your zoning bill, as well as a personal letter from several of them detailing what is wrong with your bill and why it will be detrimental not only to your district, but to theirs as well.”

  With each stack, her father’s eyes grew wider, and he spluttered. After a minute, he regained some semblance of his composure and said, “Well, you may have stopped the bill in its tracks for now, young lady, but that doesn’t mean you and your deviant group of friends will have a place to go and debauch yourselves. I do believe the building will be up for auction in no time. Sooner, in fact, after I make a call.”

  “Oh, right. That.” She risked a glance at Chase, who seemed almost as gobsmacked as the senator. “Now this…this is my personal favorite.” She reached into her back pocket and laid the unfolded check faceup on the stack in her father’s hands. “I do believe the full overdue loan payment might sway the bank in our favor. Especially since a member on the board also happens to be a new close friend of mine.”

  She reached for the stack of papers and tugged them out of her father’s shaking hands. “So, if that’s all you have to say on the matter, I suppose this is good-bye. For real this time.” She swallowed the small kernel of hurt that bloomed as she said this. She didn’t need his approval. Didn’t need his love or affection. Didn’t need him if all he could do was drag her down, make her feel inferior and like a deviant. “I will be calling my mother after we’ve all had some time to cool off, and I expect you not to interfere if she would like to come and see her only daughter. You can’t possibly hate her enough to keep her from seeing me indefinitely, can you?” She didn’t think so. Despite all his faults, and there were many, she truly believed he loved her mother.

  Her father’s face shut down. No emotion whatsoever. “Good-bye, Elizabeth,” he said, then turned and walked away.

  That was when the trembling started, and she doubled over at the tearing in her gut. She’d finally done it. She’d stood up to her father and won. So why did it feel like she was breaking inside?

  An instant later, Chase’s arms were around her, and he was lowering her to the blanket. She sank to her knees, clutching him with desperation, sobs racking her body.

  “Shh, sweetheart. It’s all right. It’s over now. It’s over.” He rocked her gently, stroking her hair, holding her tight in his arms, almost constricting her. The pressure helped, his soothing murmur of words against her ear calming the vicious pain inside her until it was more of a dull ache. After a few minutes of being locked in his arms, her breathing and heart rate slowed, and she stilled, the lack of adrenaline leaving her exhausted. She took a deep breath, and he moved back from her so he could look at her face.

  She flicked her gaze down, focusing on his forearm instead of his eyes. She didn’t know what he was thinking, and she couldn’t be positive if her breakdown had been about her father leaving, or if it was more about knowing Chase was standing there listening to her detail the lengths to which she had gone to help him, and that she’d kept it from him.

  His finger lifted her chin. She resisted for a moment until he said, “Elizabeth,” in that commanding Dom voice of his, and her gaze lifted to collide with his.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her voice was soft, almost whimpering. Nothing like the sizzling of confidence and contempt she’d had when taking down her father. Okay, maybe her plans had been more about a personal vendetta than she’d wanted to admit, but it was done now, and she couldn’t go back even if she wanted to. Chase stared at her in silence, still holding her, and she couldn’t tell which emotional response she was going to get, since his face was a mass of all of them.

  Then he shook his head. “Did you… How the hell…”

  “Surprise,” she said lamely.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Betrayal first, then. “Did you always know it was your father behind what was going on at the club?”

  “I didn’t know what was going on with the club at first. And no, I didn’t know it was something my father was working on. In case you c
ouldn’t tell, we never had a great relationship. I didn’t really have anything to do with that part of his life in the past decade. I realized it the night you said his name, when the club had been shut down by the bank.”

  “And you didn’t tell me because…?”

  “Do you remember what you were like that night? I was trying to calm you down, not make you hate me.”

  He sighed. “Sweetheart, why would his actions make me hate you?”

  She shrugged.

  “Still working on those trust issues, I see.” He smiled wryly at her.

  “Yeah, I guess. And then I thought—I knew I had to do something. So I went to him. I didn’t even make it in the front door. Which really pissed me off.”

  “Clearly. So you’ve been doing this behind my back the whole time?”

  She bit her lip and nodded. “I’m sorry. I was afraid… Well, I was afraid of a lot of things. First that you’d be too damned stubborn to accept my help and in turn ruin everything by being a pigheaded alpha male.”

  “Who, me?” He feigned innocence. She swatted him on the shoulder. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. I would have fought you on it. But you could have at least tried.”

  “I know I should have, but I…”

  He stared at her, waiting for her to finish. She found herself rubbing her earlobe again and froze. He tugged her hand down and held it tightly. “Tell me,” he demanded. “The truth this time.”

  She took a deep breath. “I was afraid to tell you because I thought maybe you would think I’d known beforehand and come to you under false pretenses. And I figured if I fought you too hard and pressed the issue, you might decide that I wasn’t submissive enough for you or something. Plus I had to do everything behind the scenes. If he’d caught even a hint that I was involved with you or the club or this lifestyle, he would have tried all that much harder to destroy you. And I…” The tears started again. “And I was afraid I would lose you.” There. She’d said it. The real reason behind everything. She’d wanted to protect him, to help him, to save him. But most of all, she’d simply wanted to keep him.