Probably a little of both.
Monday, December 15, 4:45 p.m.
Went to a study session
Didn’t do much studying
It’s exam week, and today was a study day. Since we didn’t have to go to class, Billy, Sophie, and I decided we’d all study together for our English test tomorrow.
We met at Billy’s house, and we were sitting at his kitchen table, studying our vocab words, but it was hard to focus.
We were trying to think up mnemonic devices to help us remember the meanings of words. Billy was great at it. When he grows up, it could be his job. He’d get rich quick thinking up funny ways to remember the definitions of words.
For supercilious, which means arrogant, he came up with super silly ass. (For which his mom called him by his full name and gave a disapproving look. “No, like a donkey!” he said, although I don’t think his mom was convinced.)
For remiss, which means careless, he made “miss” jokes. I missed what you said. I missed my bus. I’m so careless I missed dinner. When he said the joke about missing dinner, he clutched his stomach and moaned like he really was hungry. Sophie literally collapsed into a heap of laughter, which made Billy laugh too. As I sat there watching, it was pretty obvious there’s a lot of chemistry between them.
I’d be remiss not to notice.
How’s that for a mnemonic?
Wednesday, December 17, 10:17 p.m.
Talked to Leo for an hour
Leo called tonight while I was studying. “I can’t talk,” I said. “I have an Algebra test tomorrow.”
“I can help,” said Leo. “I love Algebra.”
“It’s impossible to love it,” I said.
Leo laughed. “Algebra helps us understand and make sense of the unknown.”
“That makes no sense,” I said. Leo and I spent the next half hour debating the merits of Algebra, although I doubt that will help me on the test.
Once we’d said everything there was to say on the topic (at least in my opinion), somehow we started talking about the fact that he’s leaving for college in less than three weeks. He told me about the classes he’s taking and the dorm he’ll be living in and about his roommate, who is from China. Then Christmas came up, which made me think about Brynn.
I told Leo that even though she’s been a jerk for a while, I feel kind of sorry for her about the whole Billy thing. “She was my best friend for a long time,” I said. “It’s the holidays, and I feel like I should try to reach out to her. I’m just not sure what to do. She’s made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want to be friends.”
“Why don’t you invite her to yoga,” suggested Leo.
I smiled at the memory of the day Leo took me to yoga.
“I don’t think it’s Brynn’s thing.” I paused. I was thinking about Leo, not Brynn. “I like that you always have a unique solution for things.”
“That’s me,” said Leo. “Mr. Unique Solutions.”
I laughed. “I was being serious. You always have good ideas.”
“Are you surprised?” asked Leo. He sounded like he was offended.
“No, but you did say you’re not good with girl issues.” I paused. “You seem pretty good to me.”
“I guess you never know what you’re good at until you try,” said Leo.
Thursday, December 18, 4:40 p.m.
My last exam was today. It was Algebra, which I have with Brynn. My seat is right behind hers. When she came into the room, she sat down and never turned around. I finished my test early, and after I turned it in, I spent the rest of the time looking at the back of Brynn’s head and wondering . . . What goes on inside it? I thought about what Dad said—that I should try to talk to her. But when the test ended, Brynn got up and walked out of the room. She never even looked at me.
What do you say to that?
Friday, December 19, 3:07 p.m.
Dance team holiday lunch
I just got home from Pizza Hut where the dance team met for lunch and to exchange Secret Santa gifts. Brynn had drawn Emily’s name. I watched as Brynn gave Emily a spa bath set and then as Vanessa gave Brynn a Chia pet. There’s no way Brynn would like that gift, but she acted like she did.
I could say a lot of negative things about Brynn, but one of her best qualities is that she loves giving and getting gifts. No matter what she gets, she’s always gracious and happy about it. Brynn and I have always made a big deal over exchanging Christmas gifts, and it made me wonder if Brynn has even thought about getting me a gift this year. That’s when it occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten her anything, but I should. It was the solution I was looking for. It’s probably bad holiday karma not to be speaking to your former-long-time best friend.
Even worse not to get them a gift.
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, December 21, 10:02 p.m.
Gaga dropped a bomb
Gaga has done a lot of unexpected things over the years, so whenever she does what my Uncle Drew calls her “crazy thing,” I’m never all that surprised. But I was shocked tonight at dinner when she announced that she and Willy had booked a last-minute cruise and wouldn’t be with us for Christmas. I wasn’t the only one who was shocked. I thought my mom and her sisters might go into cardiac arrest at Gaga’s dining room table.
“Mom, you can’t leave us at Christmas,” said my mom. She sounded like a two-year-old.
“I already have tickets,” said Gaga.
“But Christmas together is our family tradition,” said my Aunt Lilly.
“And we always have it at your house,” said Aunt Lila. She made a face like she was a puppy that had been left outside in the rain.
Willy took Gaga’s hand and gave it a squeeze. I guess they’d anticipated this reaction, and he was silently reminding her to be strong. “You will be just fine without me,” said Gaga.
Everyone stood there, speechless. Finally, my little cousin Izzy broke the silence. “Are you still going to give us presents?” she asked.
“Of course,” said Gaga. She smiled at Izzy and her twin, Charlotte, who were both started clapping and rambling on about how much they like presents.
Then she turned her attention to the grownups at the table who were all looking at one another like they had a real problem on their hands. “For goodness sakes,” said Gaga. “Your silence is worse than your screaming. Stop being so dramatic and eat your meatloaf.”
So we did. At least some of us did. Aunt Lila took a tiny bite and made a face like Gaga’s news had killed her taste buds. Aunt Lilly used her napkin to wipe her forehead.
“She’s premenopausal,” my cousin Harry announced to the table.
Amanda laughed out loud.
Aunt Lilly shot a stern look to both her kids. She told Harry that even though he’s almost an adult, he wasn’t acting like one, and that certain topics need to stay in the privacy of their home. She said we could do Christmas at her house, and she got up and went to the kitchen for a legal pad. When she came back, she started making her to-do list.
Christmas should be interesting this year.
Monday, December 22, 4:15 p.m.
Back from the mall
I rode my bike to the mall. I’d been debating all weekend about what to get Brynn, and I still couldn’t decide. I didn’t want it to be too personal or too impersonal. Just something nice to let her know she’s still important enough to me to give her a Christmas present.
I also didn’t want to pick it out with anyone else. Mom and Dad have both tried talking to me about what’s going on with Brynn since the day Brynn screamed we weren’t friends anymore. I know they’re worried, but I just don’t feel like talking to them about it, so I didn’t want them to drive me there.
I didn’t want Leo to go with me either. I’d already told him that I wanted to get her a present, and his suggestion was to take her to yoga. Even though he hasn’t said it, I think he thinks all the drama with her is silly. But s
till, it’s there, and I can’t just ignore it.
And I didn’t want Sophie to go with me. She’s not a fan of Brynn. She’d probably want to know why I’d get Brynn a present after how she’s treated me. She wouldn’t be wrong. But Brynn and I have a history.
So I went by myself, and after a full day of shopping (I’ve never bought an ex-best friend a Christmas gift before), I got her cinnamon-scented bubble bath and body lotion. That sounds kind of anticlimactic, given how much thought I put into it. But Brynn loves bath products. And the smell of cinnamon.
I think it’s perfect.
10:17 p.m.
Text from Sophie
Sophie: My dad comes tomorrow.
Me: Are you excited to see him?
Sophie: IDK.
Sophie: Kind of weird he’s coming to Faraway.
Me: I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Sophie: He’s staying at the Faraway Inn.
Me: Might not be fine.
Sophie: Ha ha.
Sophie: Not what he’s used to.
Me: They have an indoor pool.
Sophie:
Sophie: Christmas will be weird.
Me: Presents are never weird.
Sophie: That’s true.
Me: When do you leave for New Orleans?
Sophie: Day after Christmas.
Me: Sounds like fun!
Sophie: It will be!
Tuesday, December 23, 8:45 a.m.
Awake
The first things I saw when I opened my eyes were the presents I got for Brynn. The bottles of bubble bath and lotion were on my dresser, just standing there, silent and unwrapped.
If they could talk, they would have been saying: When are you going to give us to Brynn, and what are you going to say to her?
For a couple of mute bath products, they ask all the right questions.
1:35 p.m.
Billy called
I was going to go to Brynn’s this afternoon and give her the gift, but Billy just called and asked if I wanted to go on a bike ride.
Bike ride with Billy versus awkward moment with Brynn.
That’s a no-brainer.
4:57 p.m.
Back from bike ride
When Billy and I stopped at Mr. Agee’s farm, where we always stop for our rest break, we got on the subject of Brynn. It was kind of weird that she wasn’t on the ride. The three of us always took bike rides together. Plus, she’s the one who always brought the drinks and snacks. That sounds a little cold, like I only wanted her there because we were hungry and thirsty, but that wasn’t the case.
“Do you miss her?” I asked.
Billy nodded. “I called her and told her I really hope we can be friends,” he said.
“What did she say?”
“She said she doesn’t want to be friends.”
“That was it?” I asked.
“That was it,” said Billy.
I gulped. If she told Billy she didn’t want to be friends, I could only imagine what she’s going to say when I give her the bubble bath and lotion.
I have a feeling it might not be “Merry Christmas.”
Wednesday, December 24, 10:17 a.m.
What’s done is done
When I woke up this morning, I decided to just do it. I got dressed, ate a banana, and went to Brynn’s house to give her the gift. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. I figured the right words would come.
Her mom answered the door. “I have a Christmas present for Brynn,” I said. I held out the wrapped bath products to Mrs. Stephens.
I was a little self-conscious. Brynn’s mom is a perfectionist, and the package looked like I’d wrapped it myself. Plus, I realized I had no idea what Brynn had told her mom about what happened. I’m sure she’d told her mom that Billy broke up with her, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she told her that she thought I’d had a hand in it.
Mrs. Stephens frowned. I felt my stomach drop.
“Brynn will be so disappointed she missed you,” said her mom. I couldn’t tell if she meant what she was saying. “Brynn went to run an errand with her dad, but she has a gift for you too.” Mrs. Stephens half closed the door and walked away. When she came back, she had an elegantly wrapped box in her hands. “This is for you,” she said. “Merry Christmas, April.”
I exchanged boxes with Brynn’s mom and told her to tell Brynn I said Merry Christmas. As I walked home, I thought about how uncomfortable the exchange had been. I’d been to Brynn’s house hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. Lots of those times I’d gone inside without knocking, and today Mrs. Stephens didn’t even invite me in.
When I got to my room, I opened the gift from Brynn. It was a bottle of Donna Karan Green Apple perfume. I’ve had a bottle of it sitting on my dresser for the last two years. It’s shaped like an apple, and it’s pretty hard to miss, which means Brynn either deliberately got me something she knew I already had, or she didn’t even bother to get me a gift and let her mom pick it out.
Either way, the gift said it all.
I will honor Christmas all the year, and try to keep it in my heart.
—Charles Dickens
December 24, 11:15 a.m.
Feeling down
I keep thinking about what happened this morning when I took the gift to Brynn. It’s depressing. This is what you’re supposed to do during the Christmas season:
A.) Forgive.
B.) Forget.
C.) Move on.
Apparently, Brynn decided to go with:
D.) None of the above.
1:45 p.m.
Not so down
Leo just called and said he’s bringing over gifts for me, which greatly improved my mood.
“Did I hear a plural?” I asked.
Leo laughed. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
“Well I have something for you too,” I said.
“Singular?” Leo asked.
It was my turn to laugh.
“I’m leaving now,” said Leo. “See ya.”
It was the least articulate but possibly most exciting thing I’d ever heard come out of Leo’s mouth.
4:45 p.m.
Was I ever down?
I just had the most amazing Christmas Eve afternoon with Leo and not just because he brought me gifts. He’s the most unique person I’ve ever known. When he came over, I answered the front door. He asked if I wanted to open my presents, but he didn’t have anything with him. “Where are they?” I asked as I looked around.
“Start looking,” said Leo.
“Huh?” I was confused.
“You’ll have to hunt them down if you want them,” said Leo.
“I think you might have your holidays mixed up.” I gave him a questioning look. “Isn’t that an Easter thing?”
Leo laughed. “If you want your gifts, you’re going to have to find them.” So I starting searching around my porch, in the bushes, under a pile of pine needles in my yard, and even in the mailbox. “Cold,” said Leo.
I shook my head like I was giving up. Leo grinned and held out his hand, and I took it. It was the first time we’d held hands, aside from when he inspected my hand while we were shopping. It felt a little awkward as we walked to a little wooded area in the park where he said my gifts were waiting. But once we got there, the awkwardness was replaced with excitement. There were three boxes wrapped in bright red paper, and they weren’t hard to find.
“April, you have a real talent for sniffing out presents,” said Leo once I’d collected all my boxes.
We sat side by side on a bench as I opened my presents. The first one was a silver duct tape wallet with a red duct tape heart on the front. “I made it,” said Leo.
It kind of looked like he had, but I loved that he’d obviously put a lot of time and thought into what he gave me. “It’s great! I can’t wait to use it,” I said.
The next present was a book called Chemistry for the Non-Chemist. “I hope it doesn’t bore you to sleep,” said Leo. He looked a little embarras
sed about the gift he’d chosen. “I thought you might like knowing a little bit about my favorite subject.”
“I can’t wait to read it,” I said. “And I’ll also be a step ahead of most people when I take chemistry next year.”
Leo grinned. “I’m glad I gave you a dual-purpose present.” Then he handed me the third box. I peeled off the wrapping paper and inside the box was a little porcelain figurine of a ballet dancer. “I know you’re not strictly a ballerina,” said Leo. “But she kind of reminded me of the way you looked when you danced your solo in the dance show.”
I studied the slim statuette of the ballerina with her hair pulled into a bun. She was so beautiful. I’d like to believe that’s how I looked the night of the dance show. It was pretty cool to know that’s how Leo saw me that night.
“Do you like it?” asked Leo.
“I love it,” I said sincerely.
When Leo smiled at me, I could see that he was blushing a little. “Merry Christmas, April.”
“Merry Christmas, Leo.”
As I said the words, he bent over and kissed me on the cheek. “Now where’s my gift?” he asked.
“Hiding,” I said as I recovered from his unexpected move. We got up and started back to my house. We held hands again, and this time it felt comfortable as we walked and talked.
When I gave him the clock I had gotten him for his dorm room, I was a little embarrassed. “My gift is kind of boring compared to what you got me.”
“April, this is the best gift you could have gotten me. You have probably noticed that punctuality is not my strong suit.”
Actually, that was not something I’d ever noticed. “I got you the clock because the lady at the store said it’s something everyone who is going to college needs. You’re never late when we have plans,” I said to Leo.
“I guess it’s easy to be on time when you’re showing up for something you like,” said Leo. I tried to think what activity he meant—yoga? Walking? It took a minute, but then the intent of his words sunk in.
It was my turn to blush.
Christmas Eve
At home
Tonight we celebrated Christmas Eve at home. It was just supposed to be Mom, Dad, May, and June and me. But my Uncle Marty called my dad this morning and said Sam was supposed to go with his mom for Christmas, but the plans changed, so Uncle Marty and Sam drove from Mobile to Faraway to spend Christmas with us.
Too Much Drama Page 4