by Sally James
‘Trahearne,’ Bella whispered.
‘A normal enough name,’ he commented icily. ‘Why change it? What scandal attaches to it?’
‘None at all!’ Bella was stung into a reply, some of her customary animation returning.
‘Is Lady Hodder any relation of yours?’
‘She’s my cousin, on my mother’s side of the family,’ she explained wearily, a great weight seeming to press down on her.
‘You knew that fellow in Harrogate?’
‘Yes.’
She seemed incapable of more than the minimum necessary replies, and tried to twist out of his grasp, but his hands merely tightened their grip. She turned away her face to hide the tears which threatened, despite her resolution, to disgrace her. Why did his nearness affect her so? He took her chin in one hand and turned her firmly to face him.
‘Did he offer for you?’
‘Several times.’ With a tremendous effort she forced herself to answer calmly, thankful that her voice was steady, however the rest of her felt.
‘And? He said you accepted him.’
‘He lied.’
‘Did he?’ He stared down into her eyes and Bella, suddenly dizzy, swayed slightly and moved closer to him. ‘You lied about your name, it seems. What was that about a fortune?’ he demanded harshly. ‘Was it true?’
‘It’s the whole wretched problem!’ she cried in sudden fury, bringing her hands up between them and hammering with her fists at his chest. ‘He offered for me, and so did others when they found out about the wretched money, but I always refused him as well as all of them!’
‘You lied to me,’ he repeated.
‘No! Well, not really. What does a name matter?’ she pleaded, gazing into his eyes so close to hers, willing him to understand. ‘I’m me, Bella, how can it matter what else I’m called?’
‘It matters to me. I admired you for many things, your compassion for creatures less fortunate, and your outspoken defence of them, but most of all I thought you were truthful. We were able to talk in a manner I’ve never achieved with any other woman. I imagined we could talk freely, openly, about anything, in the way friends can, but it wasn’t so. It was based on a deception.’
‘I couldn’t tell you!’ Bella exclaimed.
‘You didn’t trust me.’
‘I didn’t trust any man after the vultures of Harrogate!’ Bella retorted bitterly.
‘How fortunate I discovered it in time, madam! I was prepared to offer you my name and my hand and my love. You were the first girl I’d ever contemplated sharing my life with. But it was a sham, all based on dishonesty, a fraud! That is something I hate more than anything else, something I can never tolerate. Were you planning to find a husband when you came to Bath? How were you proposing to reveal the truth to him?’
‘I don’t know!’ Bella replied tiredly. ‘I hadn’t thought so far ahead. I just wanted to be loved for myself, not my wretched fortune. I couldn’t bear to marry anyone who knew of it, and thought if I used a different name I might find someone I could really trust, who loved me before he knew about the money!’
‘You wanted to find trust without offering it in return? Somewhat naive, was it not?’
‘How could I ever know the truth of whether I was loved and not my money?’
‘How does any man with a good income or a title know the same? Love must be built on mutual trust, Miss - Trahearne. My poor unfortunate brother discovered that, but I imagined I’d avoided his mistakes!’
‘If you don’t understand there’s no more to say,’ Bella managed, relapsing into her former state of lethargy.
‘I understand only too well!’
His grasp tightened, his arms sliding round her back to pull her close towards him, imprisoning her within their circle.
As she glanced, startled, up at him, he bent his head towards her, his eyes dark and tortured just a few inches away from hers. She could feel his breath on her cheeks as he gave a faint groan, and suddenly his mouth covered hers.
His lips were hard and demanding, and Bella involuntarily opened her own in response to their message. How utterly different his kiss was to the slobbering wetness she had endured when unable to evade Mr Salway, she thought briefly.
Lord Dorney was firm, rough even, as he crushed her to him. She was overwhelmed, breathless, unable to think of anything except the exquisite bitter-sweet joy of being held in his embrace.
Without her noticing it her hands crept round him, and her lips grew soft. Briefly his own hard mouth relaxed, he responded with a gentler, softer caressing kiss, tracing the outline of her mouth with his tongue.
Then, so abruptly that Bella staggered and almost fell, he thrust her away from him.
‘My apologies!’ he jerked out harshly, turning away from the sight of Bella, her fingers unconsciously touching her bruised mouth.
‘Richard? My lord!’ she exclaimed, but he shook his head angrily and moved away across the room.
‘I should not have done that. Perhaps I wouldn’t if you had been the sort of girl I took you for,’ he added bitterly. ‘However, I’m thankful to have discovered the truth before it was too late. Pray give my regards to Lady Hodder. That is her name, I presume?’
‘Of course it is.’
Bella was indignant, bemused, and utterly bereft at this sudden reversion into coldness and anger. For one blissful second she had hoped matters might after all have resolved themselves satisfactorily.
‘Then I’ll apologize once more and bid you farewell, Miss Trahearne. I shall be leaving Bath, and do not expect we’ll meet again.’
She uttered a wordless cry, but he ignored her and was gone, closing the door behind him sharply. Bella pressed her eyes tightly shut, and to ward off the threatened tears began softly repeating over and over again all the unladylike expressions she had learned as a child from the stable lads.
Chapter 8
Lord Dorney returned to his lodgings and brusquely ordered his valet to pack.
‘I’m leaving at once, I’ll ride and will spend the night somewhere on the road,’ he said. ‘You can catch the stage with my luggage tomorrow morning. Take it to Sir Daniel Scott’s house.’
He changed into breeches and a caped riding coat. Having ruined the first two cravats he tried to tie he gave up and wrapped a loose neckerchief round his neck, tucking the ends into his shirt. He was furious, not so much with Bella, but with himself for having so far forgot his resolutions as to have been on the point of offering for her. And how he could have lost control of himself in such a deplorable fashion he did not in the least understand.
She was no lightskirt, whatever other faults he had now discovered. There had been no excuse for kissing her in such a manner. For kissing her at all. He tried to banish the recollection, but the memory of the sweetness of her mouth, the shy, tentative response to his assault, and this was the only word he could use for it, would not go away.
He tugged on his riding boots and taking the saddle bags his valet had packed and silently handed him, went down to the stables. Why had she lied? Her explanation of wanting to be loved for herself was nonsense. She was, if not in her first flush of youth, or conventionally beautiful, a pretty, vivacious woman, one many men would be only too happy to marry.
Her fortune, he recalled. She’d said she would be loved for that. Was it so large? But other heiresses had to endure such uncertainty, unless they married men who were equally rich. She could have trusted him. Then he cursed fluently under his breath. He couldn’t marry an heiress. Not after Robert’s experience. But what was he thinking? It was all over. He had no intention of offering for her now.
He rode out of Bath at a furious pace, until his anger cooled and he remembered to conserve his horse’s strength. They had a long ride ahead of them.
* * * *
‘I won’t stay in Bath!’ Bella declared heatedly later that evening as she and Jane sat at dinner.
‘But I’m sure Lord Dorney won’t tell anyone,’ Jane pleaded. ‘He’ll not wish peo
ple to think he’s been deceived.’
‘I didn’t deceive him! Not about anything really important,’ Bella insisted.
‘He thought so.’
‘In any event I couldn’t bear to stay here and have everyone speculating as to why he didn’t offer after all, and left so hurriedly,’ she said with a shudder. ‘And how was I to know he’d be so stuffy about stupid matters? Besides, that wretch Salway will be bound to spread the news, so I’ll be disgraced as well as humiliated.’
‘Oh, not as bad as that, Bella!’
‘If I’m not disgraced why did he reject me?’
Jane had no difficulty in identifying the ‘he’. Bella had been white and trembling when she returned from her shopping expedition, but even during the vehement and occasionally incoherent telling of what had taken place not a single tear had fallen. The sudden crashing of her hopes had clearly affected her greatly, but Jane was secretly of the opinion that a hearty session of weeping would have been better than this brittle, dry-eyed anger.
‘It must have been a shock to him. When he’s had time to reflect he may realize he’s been hasty.’
‘I don’t think he’d ever recall the words he spoke. He was too bitter. But Jane, 1 still don’t understand what he meant about his brother. That’s several times he’s spoken of him in an odd way.’
‘What do you mean? How odd?’
‘As though his brother were disgraced, or - no, not that - rather as though he’d been let down, deceived or disappointed in some way.’
‘Then he may be particularly sensitive to deception.’
‘Oh, Jane, I wish I knew!’
‘I’ll go and call on Mrs Eversley tomorrow. She’s bound to know and will delight in telling me.’
‘While I pack.’
‘Pack? You mean to leave Bath?’
‘How could I possibly stay in Bath while that devil Salway is here? I’d want to murder him every time I set eyes on him, and one can’t avoid people in Bath. Besides, you have to go to London soon.’
‘Are you determined to go back home?’
‘I’m not going home,’ Bella announced. ‘I’m going to London as well! I’ll hire a house, and find a duenna. That - that obnoxious little beast shan’t defeat me!’
‘London? But - Bella, you can’t! Everyone will know your name there, and all about your fortune!’ Jane gabbled distractedly.
‘So will everyone here by tomorrow! If I can no longer keep it a secret in Bath I may as well go to London. At least it will be livelier there!’
After some anxious discussion, during which Jane realized Bella was stretched taut with suppressed emotion, she suggested that Philip’s godmother, Lady Fulwood, would be happy to have both of them staying with her.
‘I’ve never met her, but Philip says she has a huge house and loves visitors. She always has friends and relatives staying with her. I’m sure she wouldn’t object.’
‘Jane, you’re a dear! That would be ideal! Will you write to her at once?’
‘Are you following Lord Dorney?’ Jane asked apprehensively as she walked across to her small escritoire and pulled a sheet of paper towards her. ‘Do you think that’s wise?’
‘I never want to see or speak to him again!’ Bella announced bravely, but her lip trembled, and she had to blink rapidly.
‘What about the fortune hunters?’
‘I don’t care a toss about fortune hunters! I don’t intend to be taken in by them, either, if that’s what you fear, Jane. I don’t intend ever to marry and give a man power over me or my money. I shall either become an eccentric recluse, secretly devoted to good works, or live in London doing exactly as I wish, and Society can disapprove or not as it chooses. But you can wager it won’t when it knows the size of my fortune!’ she added cynically.
* * * *
Bella retreated to her room and began to write letters herself. If she had rejected marriage, and she would marry no one but Lord Dorney, she would devote more of her time and fortune to her orphans. She wrote to George Jenkins, and after a moment’s thought, to Mr Tomkins in Bristol, asking both if they had any contacts in London with people who might be suitable for running another house if she could find property there.
Lady Fulwood lived in Mount Street, so she asked them to direct any replies to her there. She apologized to the Tomkins that she would be unable to visit them before she left Bath, but was sure they would understand and keep her informed of progress.
She ought also to write to her father. Her letters done, she went to the drawing room to ask Jane if she wanted any help.
‘It’s all in hand, Bella. Forget about him. If he can’t see you for what you are, he is not worth fretting about.’
Bella did not reply. She went to bed, but for most of the night she relived that kiss, trying to explore the new and strange sensations it had aroused in her. What blissful rapture had she lost by her mad masquerade?
* * * *
Although Jane scrutinized her closely the next morning she could find no traces of weeping, just dark shadows under Bella’s eyes which showed she had slept but little. After breakfast Jane set off to discover what she could from Mrs Eversley, while Bella announced to the astonished Mr and Mrs Dawes that they were leaving Bath in a few days.
‘But we mean to give you what you would have earned if we’d stayed here the full two months as arranged,’ she reassured them, ‘as well as excellent references. Dawes, will you please ask Jackson to see about selling the horses? None of them are worth taking to London, I - we can buy better ones there. And return the carriage, we won’t need it any more. Though if Jackson wants to come with us it would save our having to ask Lady Fulwood’s coachman to drive us everywhere.’
‘Yes, miss. What about the dog?’
‘Rags? Oh, dear, I’d forgotten him. Wouldn’t you like to keep him?’
‘No, miss,’ Dawes said firmly. ‘Besides, if we find other posts I wouldn’t be allowed to take him there.’
Bella sighed. ‘I suppose not. I’ll have to take him with us. I’d be sorry to leave him, in a way, I’ve grown fond of him.’
‘And he’d be lost without you, miss. Terrible fond of you, he is, always whining to come after you.’
Briskly Bella ordered trunks brought up, and while Susan was occupied in packing Jane’s clothes Bella began on her own, with Mary’s help.
‘Miss Bella, I’m confused,’ Mary said timidly. ‘You’re not Miss Collins, I heard.’
Briefly Bella explained, and Mary, to her relief, was both amused and sympathetic.
‘Though if I had so much money I wouldn’t want to be thought poor,’ she said, folding Bella’s new dresses with care.
The sight of the gown she’d worn during her first meeting with Lord Dorney almost broke her control. Mary had been unable to get rid of the blood from Rags, or the dirt where Bella had knelt on the ground, but Bella had refused to throw it away, saying blandly it would do for the garden when she went home to Lancashire. She crumpled it in her hands and buried her face in the muslin, and wondered briefly whether to abandon all her clothes again as she’d discarded those which reminded her of her unfortunate visit to Harrogate.
‘I can’t make a habit of that!’ she gasped, half laughing, half sobbing, and thrust the garment roughly into a corner of the trunk. Hastily she tossed others after it, firmly suppressing the memories they evoked of driving with Lord Dorney, or dancing with Lord Dorney, or simply being worn when she had spoken to or merely seen Lord Dorney in the distance.
* * * *
Jane returned after an hour, and Bella ran down to the drawing room.
‘Well,’ she demanded. ‘Did you discover anything?’
Jane was sitting at a small table, abstractedly smoothing the fingers of her gloves. She nodded, and gestured to Bella to sit down opposite her.
‘It’s bad,’ she announced.
‘Tell me!’
Jane took a deep breath. ‘Lord Dorney’s father gambled away most of his inheritance,’
she began slowly. ‘It seems he was a rogue, too, and weak, for he signed vowels which he’d no intention of redeeming and afterwards, if it was just his word against another man’s, claimed they’d been forged. He was ostracized by decent folk, and retired to Dorney Court until he died five years ago.’
‘No wonder Lord Dorney is so amazingly sensitive about deception, ‘ Bella said softly.
‘Yes. His brother, the new Lord Dorney, inherited estates which were badly encumbered, and thought he could redeem matters by marrying an heiress instead of retrenching, as his friends advised. He was charming and handsome and soon found one. They were wed a year after his father died. The debts were redeemed and the mortgages paid, and long-overdue repairs and other improvements made to Dorney Court. But Lady Dorney was a shrew and demanded the most unreasonable things, always pointing out it was her money which paid for them. The ballroom, for instance, which has been used once only since it was built, and is totally impracticable for a country house by no means large enough to accommodate all the guests who’d have to stay if they attended a ball.’
‘Why did her husband allow it?’
‘He was weak too, and he loved her as well as needing her money which had saved his home. But she soon tired of country life and spent all her time in London, creating scandal with her wild behaviour. She was notorious for her indiscretions, and after a time was reputed to be living with a man who left his wife for her. This man was killed, shot in a duel, and Lord Dorney - her husband, not this one, of course, came home and killed himself.’
‘Oh, no! How dreadful! Poor Lord Dorney!’
‘It’s worse. People at first naturally assumed he’d shot his wife’s lover, then odd rumours started that it had been the present Lord Dorney who took his brother’s place in the duel, because he is a much better shot. He’s better at all sorts of sport, Mrs Eversley says. He’s good with his fists, she said, and fences with the best. He can’t afford to keep so many horses now, but he used to be one of the best riders to hounds, and drove with the Four Horse Club. He’s supposed to have a fierce temper, and as a child and a young man often offended people by his outbursts.’