by Sara Page
Striker’s laughter dies down.
Beast looks at me worriedly. “Did you see your father?”
I nod. The sight of my father… melted will forever haunt me.
“Well?” Beast pushes, expecting me to elaborate.
How do I say it? I look up at the ceiling until I can will all the tears wanting to fill my eyes away.
For a moment, I’m struck by the familiarity of the paintings painted up there. The unicorns, and the knights, and the princes have been there for as long as I remember. Strong and brave, and rescuing the silly damsels. I used to stare at them each night before I gave myself over to slumber. Now, staring up at them, connecting my childhood to this moment, this moment where a Ravager prince is sitting on my bed and holding me makes everything feel that much more unreal.
Maybe it’s the unrealness of it all that helps me speak the next words.
I drop my chin and say calmly, as if I’m disconnected, “It’s bad. Very bad. I’m not sure he’s going to make it.”
“What happened?” Striker asks from behind me, startling me. I didn’t even hear him approach. He touches my back and the jolt of sensation I feel is so strong, I hiss and jerk away.
Before I have a chance to snap at him, Striker says, “I’m sorry, my apologies.”
“Go on,” Beast encourages me, pulling my attention back to him. His finger strokes my chin and his other hand rubs over the spot Striker touched, making it feel instantly better. He’s intentionally trying to distract me and keep me on topic. “What happened?”
What happened? I almost want to say, Your guess is as good as mine. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out the details. I was a coward and ran away like a scared little girl. Why did my father light himself on fire? Why would anyone do that? It’s insane.
No, I don’t think he lit himself on fire. I think, no I know Vrillum is lying. Vrillum is somehow behind all of this, but why? To what end? To be King? If that were the case, he didn’t have to go to all this trouble. To marry me? Why would he want to marry me? Half the time it feels like he doesn’t even like me. Why would my father tell me to marry him?
“He was in a fire. He was burned badly.”
“Is he not being repaired?” Beast asks.
Repaired? As if he was a machine?
I shake my head. “He’s being treated by a team of doctors. I’ll need to return to check on his prognosis.”
Beast frowns and his brow furrows as if he’s thinking deeply.
And even though I hate reminding him that I left him in the first place, I say, “I want you to come see him with me.”
Beast just stares at me. “Of course.”
If only it was that easy though.
I have to close my eyes again and take a deep breath to calm myself. There're too many problems and not enough solutions, but maybe just maybe if I share some of them Beast can help me figure them out. “I don’t know how to get you past the King’s Guard.”
“If you would have waited…” Striker starts admonishing me, but Beast stops him with a growl.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize again. And I am sorry. Leaving Beast and Striker behind has been one of my biggest fuckups so far. And you’d think I would have learned by now. The last time I tried to run away from Beast I was shot by Striker.
It seems every time I try to get away from him I only make things worse.
“Ameia,” Beast purrs and pulls me closer by wrapping me up and tightening his arms. “Do not worry about the guards, we can pass them.”
I sigh and press my cheek against his chest. I want to believe him, I want to trust him and just have that kind of faith in him, but I worry too much. There’s just too much that could go wrong. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt…”
“No one will get hurt,” Beast reassures me.
I believe that he believes what he is saying, but still I have to say, even though I don’t know if I’m saying it to him or to myself, “I don’t want to start a war.”
Neither he nor Striker answer me.
The silence that follows feels too heavy.
“Please,” I say. “After we visit my father, I’ll reach out to the council. In fact, I probably shouldn’t wait.”
I start to push away from Beast but his arms only tighten around me.
“Rest, Ameia,” Beast gently commands me.
His hands stroke up and down my back and I find myself relaxing against him. If only I could stop worrying, if only I could let it go…
“But, if we wait too long it may be too late.”
“Rest, Ameia,” Striker says as well, sneaking up from behind me.
Beast didn’t answer my question though. Am I starting a war? Have I already start a war?
“What if it’s already too late?” I ask softly.
“When you awake, Ameia,” Beast tells me.
My eyes feel heavy, so heavy…
“We’ll be here.”
Chapter Ten
I wake up refreshed and not alone.
“Good morning, princess,” Beast grins at me.
I reach up and rub the sleep from my eyes. Am I really seeing this? Is this truly real? Beast is tucked in bed beside me and we’re home together, in my room.
“Good morning?” I say back. How did I fall asleep? I felt so wound up before I fell asleep, drifting off didn’t seem possible.
Beast reaches out and pulls me into him.
I can’t help but snuggle against his chest. It feels so good being close to him, touching him in the soft comfort of my bed. I press my hips into his hips forgetting we’re not alone.
“Are we ready to head out?” Striker asks impatiently from across the room. His pacing once again reminds me of a caged animal.
“Are we going somewhere?” I ask pushing back and Beast groans, rolling away from me.
“Yes, my princess, I think it is imperative that you take us to see your father immediately,” Beast says, sitting up and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. When his feet hit the floor, I swear it feels like the palace shudders.
“You do?” I ask and then it all slams into me at once. I remember last night. I remember everything we talked about. I remember the hopelessness, the fear, the worry… the horror.
“Yes,” I say, answering myself. I push the covers down and glance briefly down at myself. At least I’m still dressed and not naked, though I’m still wearing the ugly red Ravager suit. I could use a shower and it would be wonderful to change into my own clothes. But I don’t want to waste any more time, I need to see my father again. I need to know what’s going on, I need to know if there’s any way I can help him.
“Yes, I need to see him.” I jump out of bed. “Let’s go.”
“Wait for us,” Beast says in warning.
Striker cuts me off, stepping in front of me before I reach the door.
“Of course,” I sigh, stopping myself just before I slam into Striker.
Beast and Striker force me to wait for them while they armor-up. It feels like an eternity before they’re ready for me to open the door. I probably could have showered and changed for as long as they take. I swear they’re worse than I was when I was a girl.
When I do open the door, thankfully the hallway is empty. Though something about the empty hallway disturbs me.
“I’ll take point. Ameia, stay between me and Striker,” Beast orders me.
I don’t want to waste any more time so I don’t even argue. Beast seems to know where he’s going, and Striker follows on my heels.
As we walk back to the medical ward, it’s even eerier than the last time because not only are all the halls cold and empty, but the mess has been cleared away. Someone was here at some point but now there’s not a soul about.
“Where is everyone? Where are my guards?”
Beast and Striker don’t answer me, as if they even could. How would they know? After I check on my father, I’ll need to reach out to the council. I’ll need to establish that I’m still alive and I’m the one who s
hould be in control. Who knows what powers Vrillum has been granted, or perhaps it’s not even him, perhaps everything has gone to Sarcia. Whatever is going on though, it can’t be good.
We turn a corner, coming up on the medical ward. I feel my feet slow as Beast slows.
“Ameia,” Beast says, coming to a complete stop just before we turn the last corner. “I need you to continue on without us. You need to pass through the guards before we can follow you.”
“Huh?” I ask, a little panicked and more than a little confused. “You want me to go in without you? I thought you said you were coming with me?”
“We will come with you,” Beast assures me.
“How?” I ask. “Wait? Are you planning on attacking the guard?”
I have no doubt that Beast and perhaps even Striker could take on the entire King’s Guard, but I don’t necessarily want the guard, who are doing just what they’re ordered to do, to come to any harm. Even if they’re in my way. Even if I’m the Princess and they should do what I order them to do.
“No, Ameia. We are not planning to attack the guard. We should not need to if you do as I tell you to do.”
“But…” It doesn’t make any sense. But then again nothing that has happened recently makes any sense. It’s like two plus two no longer equals four.
“We’re wasting time,” Striker reminds me as if I’m not already painfully aware of that. I can’t help but waste a second shooting him a glare.
“Okay. I’ll pass through the King’s Guard, but if you don’t follow, I’m coming back for you.”
No,” Beast says and the way he says it, the harshness of his voice, leaves no room for argument. “Pass through the guard until you’re out of their line of sight then we’ll come for you.”
How? I want to ask, but I know I will only be wasting more time if I do. It’s so frustrating not knowing what’s going on, but what can I do? Continue to doubt Beast? Continue to challenge him? What good will any of that do? Didn’t I tell myself I learned my lesson?
“Okay, okay,” I say, backing down. I’ll just do what he tells me to do and see where it gets us. It’s time to turn over a new leaf. Let’s see where obeying gets me.
“Hurry, Ameia,” Beast tells me and it’s like being splashed with cold water in the face. I’m chilled by his words.
Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I nod my head and turn on my heel. I walk around the corner, looking back only once before approaching the golden line of the King’s Guard.
“Move,” I order them. It’s rude, but with the lump in my throat, I couldn’t say more if I wanted to.
Still standing elbow to elbow, two of the guards step apart, giving me just enough room to pass through. As I step through, the guards step back, reforming the line.
Well, if Beast and Striker were hoping to sneak in behind me that’s not going to work.
I cast one last glance back, there’s no sign of them. They must still be around the corner. I sigh and push through the double doors leading to the medical ward. I guess I’ll just have to princess-up and do this on my own.
* * *
“Ameia,” the shadows hiss as I walk down the hall, alone, heading for my father.
My steps have slowed because I’m delaying the inevitable. At the hiss though I come to a complete stop and spin around.
“Princess,” the shadows hiss again. They seem to be gathering in the corners, darkening… thickening.
Something inside me is screaming at me to run, to get the hell away from here. Shadows shouldn’t talk, talking shadows are evil.
My feet feel glued to the floor. I watch on, helpless, impotent, as the shadows swirl and continue to thicken until they begin to take the shapes of men. Two, dark, towering, and impossibly big men. It’s like my childhood nightmares coming to life right in front of me.
“Beast?” I croak out as the air seems to crackle and spark.
Beast steps out of the darkness and the shadows shimmer against his armor as if they were some kind of mist or fog before he shakes them off.
“Yes, my princess,” Beast reassures me but his voice, his voice scrapes against my bones and I feel repulsed, even afraid of the sound.
“I…” I say and I have to wonder am I seeing things? Have I completely lost it? Perhaps I’ve gone through too much. Perhaps this is what a nervous breakdown feels like?
I feel myself shaking uncontrollably. I’m suddenly so cold. So very cold. My breath frosts in the air.
“It’s too much,” Striker says, solidifying from the darkness. “I told you she is not ready.”
And this time I think I have to agree with Striker. I’d nod my head if I could do it, if my neck would allow it. I’m not ready for this, it is truly too much.
I’m breaking, I’m cracking.
Reality is slipping away.
The darkness is alive and it is coming for me. I see it whispering at my edges.
Pulling me in.
“No, Ameia, you are strong.” Beast steps forward. “Do not be afraid of me. You are a part of me.”
“What’s going on? I don’t understand what’s going on.” My teeth are chattering. Did they somehow suck all the warmth out of me? “How did you do that? What did you just do?”
“I will explain,” Beast says and his red gaze beams down at me. I can take no comfort in his face, I can take no comfort in his voice. Behind his malevolent armor, he is hidden away from me. He is something dark and scary.
“Explain,” I chatter and wrap my arms around myself.
Beast shakes his head. “There is no time. Later, Ameia.”
“Explain,” I repeat. I need him to explain, I need to understand something. There’s too much going on, too many things he is keeping from me.
“Ameia, we must get to your father. I need to assess his injuries to see if there is a way we can repair him,” Beast insists.
We do need to get to my father. But if I don’t get at least one answer, if some of this doesn’t start to make sense to me, I’m going to truly start unraveling.
I look past Beast and stare hard at Striker. “Explain,” I say. Then I drop my voice to say more softly, “Please.”
“We are born of the darkness, princess,” Striker explains and takes a step forward.
“How can you be born of the darkness?” I ask.
“The same way you can be born of the light,” he answers simply.
Great, I asked them to explain and now I’m even more confused. Born of darkness? Born of light?
“What does that even mean?” I say in frustration. What does any of this mean?
“Do you not know of your own origin?” Striker asks, tipping his head and regarding me curiously.
“We do not have time for this,” Beast grumbles impatiently. “It can all be explained later.”
I shake my head, ignoring Beast. He just somehow made it past the King’s Guard and stepped out of the shadows as if he was a shadow, I can spare a minute to find out why. “I think I can vaguely recall some Old Earth mythology that humans were created by a supreme being. There was a mention of light, somewhere.”
“Not human origin,” Striker says and takes a step toward me. “Your origin, Ameia.”
“My origin?”
Beast growls and turns on him, but Striker ignores Beast, completely focused on me. “You are a beacon, our Calling.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means that we are able to travel through the darkness because we are one with it. We are born from it and we exist within it. And because you shine, because you Call to me, I will always be able to travel to you, to find you.”
“You will always be able to find me?” I ask Striker in disbelief.
“That’s enough,” Beast growls and shoves at Striker before Striker can answer.
I think they just might have it out. Good thing we’re in a medical ward. Striker straightens and I get the impression he just might shove Beast back, but then Striker nods his head and takes a ste
p back, seemingly backing off.
“I thought I was your Calling,” I say to Beast, even more confused now. Especially because I’m still not entirely sure what a Calling even is. Every time I ask for answers from them it feels like I’m only left with more questions.
“You are my Calling,” Beast says angrily before turning from Striker to face me. “And you accepted me, so you are mine.”
“Then how am I Calling him?” I ask. “And how do I freaking stop it?”
“Because you are my Calling too, and you can not stop it,” Striker says and Beast’s eyes flash menacingly. “We are destined.”
“I don’t want to be your Calling,” I tell Striker honestly.
I want Beast. I don’t know what a Calling is but I want to be his Calling and only his Calling.
“I know,” Striker says simply and there’s something about it, something about the way he says it that just makes me sad. What’s up with that?
“We need to go, Ameia,” Beast says, walking for me. “There will be time later to answer your questions.”
I know he’s right, and I know I should be running to my father’s side, checking on him and finding out what I can do for him, and I want to do that too, I do, but I just have to know...
“You said I accepted you, and so I am yours, but Striker claims I’m his Calling too. Do I have to accept him?”
“No,” Beast says slowly and shakes his head. “You do not have to accept Striker.”
I can’t help but sigh loudly with relief. That’s a load off my back. And maybe it’s because I’m trying to figure all of this out, or maybe the distraction alone has helped me calm down, but I’m starting to feel warmer, more like myself.
Beast walks over to me and bends down. I have this crazy idea that somehow he’s going to kiss me. That through that ugly helmet of his I’ll somehow be able to find his lips. Instead, he says, “But Ameia, think very hard before you decide to deny him.”
Huh? What? Is he serious?
“Don’t you want me to deny him?” He’s sure been quick to say how unworthy Striker is. He even bashed in his head.
I look past Beast, Striker is standing silent and unmoving, his ruby eyes burning into me.