by J. Conrad
“You miss your mother,” I had said to them. “I understand. I miss my mother too. But don’t worry, your mother is coming back soon.” And mine probably isn’t, I had thought. My eyes had filled with tears which trickled down my cheeks. But maybe she had got away. Maybe someone had saved her. Maybe...
I had wiped my face and gathered one of the puppies into my arms. This one had been the biggest, a light brown male. He had nuzzled his cold, wet nose into my neck and I giggled. I had held him close to me, feeling his soft, warm body and his frantic, little heartbeat. After he was done making sure my entire face was wet from his kisses, he had quit squirming and leaned his head on my chest.
“What’s your name, little one?” I had asked him.
Trystan, I had heard into my mind. What’s yours?
So, I could understand the puppies too, and they could understand me. I had smiled. “My name is Elin. It’s very nice to meet you, Trystan.”
Outside the den in the forest I had heard fighting. Beasts had snarled, and a human male had begged for his life. Many other frightening sounds had penetrated the thicket, cries of battle, wolves howling, people dying. It had turned my blood cold, yet I knew I was safe in the wolves’ lair.
You’re not afraid of us, the wolf pup had thought. You’re different from the other humans. Why?
I had peered down into his intelligent eyes, wondering how old he was in human years. Perhaps near six, like me? “Your mother saved us from those bad men.”
And you understand me, he had thought. How can you understand?
I had shaken my head. “I don’t know.”
For five days I had been ensconced in the safety of that den, with Trystan and his siblings to keep me company whenever Seren and the wolf mother were absent—though the wolf and the woman had never been present at the same time. I had talked to Trystan the most, often while he lay on my lap, and we had spoken of things that children often speak of: where we liked to play, what foods were nice, our parents, our homes. What it was like to be a human, and what it was like to be a wolf, free and wild in the forest. Each night I had fallen asleep with the wolf puppy in my arms, and as I had drifted off, I had prayed that somehow one of the great wolf warriors would find my mother and return her to us.
* * * * *
I felt the carriage hit a bump in the road and I shook myself out of my thoughts. How could I tell Eiriana about everything that had happened? If her intentions weren’t what she said they were and she told Father I still believed my mother had been abducted by bad men and that wolves had helped us, I might lose what little happiness I had left. What if he asked me to leave Blaenwood? I liked the idea of being away from Gwyneth, but right now I had nowhere to go.
We pulled up to the front of the house and stopped. As I tried to prepare myself for Eiriana’s introduction to Gwyneth, and for the first day of my new life, I had no idea what was in store for me.
Chapter 5
Just as Eiriana had said, Gwyneth wasn’t pleased about her unannounced arrival. They had known each other long ago, Eiriana explained after the tense words during dinner. Father seemed oblivious to it all. He smiled and complimented the food. Whether he was under Gwyneth’s spell, Eiriana’s, or both, I had long since yielded any expectation that Father act like he knew what the hell was going on. On the bright side, I guess the more I accepted reality and lowered my standards, the less often I’d be disappointed.
Father allowed Eiriana to stay the night in one of our guest rooms before she had to journey back to her home in Lyntref in the morning. Strangely, I was a little sad she was leaving. I had thought of telling her about Cirros, the falcon who had been coming to my window. His talons clicking against the sill, he peered up at me with his sharp, dark eyes, listening keenly as I spoke to him. I could hear his thoughts when he answered back, telling me about the places he’d visited and where the hunting was best.
I also know what you are, she had said. Did she really mean my ability to talk to animals? But confiding this seemed like a terrible idea. Maybe I felt slightly drawn to her because she was the only person who was interested in me. And though I didn’t understand her motives, I didn’t see—or feel—the same ill intentions as I did with Gwyneth and her daughters.
“I will return,” Eiriana told me when I stood outside with her the next morning. “We have much work to do. You don’t understand this now, but when you see me again, I’ll be able to explain. Then I’ll tell you what you need to know.”
She was right, I didn’t understand. I folded my arms and glared at her. “What work do we have to do? Why can’t you tell me now?”
Eiriana stepped closer to me and lowered her voice. “I don’t want to put you in any danger—any more than you’re in already. While I’m away, be mindful. Don’t let your guard down and try not to do anything to anger her. If that is possible, of course.”
I nodded at the strange woman who looked right through me with her bright blue eyes. “When will you return?”
“As soon as I am able. I have some business to attend to, but I’m hoping to have that finished within a month. Sooner if I can. I plan to negotiate with your parents for permission to stay here at Blaenwood in exchange for work. That way, I’ll be able to help you. I’ll be able to tell you everything I couldn’t for so long.”
I sighed and shook my head. “If you truly are my grandmother, I wish you wouldn’t have taken so long to get here.”
“I wish that too, my dear Elin, and I’m sorry. I was… elsewhere. I wasn’t able to come be with you or else I would have.” Eiriana frowned. I guess her past whereabouts were yet another thing she couldn’t tell me. Seeing the stricken look on my face, she added, “Our world is so small, isn’t it? Such a little island, our precious Edim, separated from the rest of the earth by the Veil over the Nameless Sea. And yet, at the same time, this hidden world of ours is so vast that people can disappear into elsewhere for nigh upon an eternity.”
She spoke of the Veil, and it was true that an impenetrable wall of fog made a barrier upon the ocean. Ships could not pass through, being turned around in circles which only led out to the same side from which they had come. Yet for as long as anyone could remember, rumors had been handed down that a vast “earth” lay on the other side of the Veil, after a great distance where the Nameless Sea finally met land. But those were only old wives’ tales, probably contrived by bored women at their spinning. No one had ever crossed over and returned to tell about it. All the world was Edim, since that’s all we had ever known.
“I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head.
Eiriana’s bright blue eyes lost their glow momentarily as she gave me a sad smile. “I know. But one day you will.” And I was reminded that she had said that very same thing at the wedding. One day, which may as well be never.
We said our farewells and she departed. That was that. I still had no way of knowing if she was really who she said she was and if she would return. Afterwards, I had managed to deal with Gwyneth and her daughters well enough, mostly by avoiding them.
Then, like a nail in my coffin, Father’s presence had been requested in Tinsford. The seaside town was home to the salt factory he owned and the port for his fishing fleet. They were experiencing production difficulties, things that would need investigation and ironing out. And, as these businesses were what gave us a better life than many, it was imperative he attend to them without delay. He had not been home with his new wife more than two weeks when he announced he would be traveling. Normally I would have understood, but I had been so angry with him that I wasn’t sad to see him go. Instead, I only felt resentful that he was leaving me here. My own home, and I was the one who was no longer welcome.
But now with Father gone, I knew my situation was far worse than unfairness and hurt feelings. Gwyneth’s only reason for restraint had been taken away. The change came almost as soon as her husband had pulled away in the carriage. He wouldn’t return for many months, maybe even a year, and Gwyneth was well aware
of this.
As I was putting my foot onto the first step to go upstairs to my room, I felt someone grab my arm. Gasping, I stopped abruptly and turned to see Gwyneth glowering at me.
“Oh no,” she said. “Don’t think you’re going to skulk off to your room and not be a part of this family. That might be acceptable to your father, but not to me.”
“By being a part of the family, I assume you mean I’m to present myself at all hours of the day to receive your insults as you dole them out,” I said, yanking my arm from her grasp. “That might be acceptable to my father, but not to me.”
Gwyneth huffed and opened her mouth. She shouldn’t have been so shocked. Her manipulative tactics of keeping me silent when Father was around wouldn’t work anymore. She could no longer use him as a pawn to play against me.
“I don’t think you understand who you’re speaking to. Nor do you understand the gravity of the situation. I can make things very uncomfortable for you,” Gwyneth said.
“I think I do understand, actually. It was somewhere around the time my pearls caught on fire all by themselves that I realized what you’re capable of doing.” I hadn’t broken eye contact, but I could feel my legs trembling and my heart racing. I couldn’t remember the last time I had spoken to someone this way. Then again, I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had treated me the way that Gwyneth had. There was Father’s injustice, of course, but it was a different kind.
As I stared at her with my blood pounding, Gwyneth’s sneer became darker. Her light green eyes turned black—all black, like nothing I’d ever seen. Dilated like cat’s pupils, but with no white at all and as thick as ink. She latched onto my arm again and dug her fingers in. Gwyneth hissed at me through teeth that had become fangs. They were discolored, half rotted and withered, but definitely fangs, sharp, cruel, and pointed.
I screamed, pulling back and trying to break free. For a second, I heard my own frantic breathing. My body was frozen; my arms weighed as much as boulders, my legs were like metal rods nailed to the floor. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t. Then the unnatural paralysis left me, and I stumbled backward, nearly tripping over my own feet. I stood there awkwardly and swallowed.
The terrifying countenance left Gwyneth’s face and her eyes returned to their normal color. She gave me a faint smile and said, “I told you. You don’t know who you’re speaking to. Now come into the dining room. We have some things to discuss.”
She was right about one thing—I didn’t know who I was dealing with. Whatever she was, it wasn’t human. My body shook as I tried to bring myself under control from the shock. I gathered handfuls of my skirt to steady myself. Gwyneth’s eyes roamed over me, letting me know she saw my fear as clear as day. The worst part was, I couldn’t process what had just happened or what I should do about it. I should probably run as fast as I could out the front door and never come back. But I was too scared to actually try it.
I nodded. “Very well. I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
Gwyneth laughed, a high-pitched, mocking laugh that resounded through the high hallway by the staircase. “Oh, how wonderful.”
She could ridicule me in the nicest terms. My face burned red from the shame of it—the shame of my helplessness and my fear. I followed submissively into the dining room. I was a rabbit walking straight into a predator’s mouth.
Annest and Dafina were seated at the formal dining table. They were speaking in low voices and looked up under their long lashes when we entered. Annest tilted her head, raising an eyebrow as she regarded me.
“Are you going to give her the talking-to she needs, Mother?” she asked.
“She looks scared out of her mind,” Dafina said, shooting me a wicked grin under her brown curls.
“You shouldn’t frown so, Elin,” Annest said. “It makes you look uglier.”
The three women laughed. When Gwyneth turned to glance at me, I flinched, afraid to see the horrible visage again. But it was just her usual arrogant face which regarded me with disdain.
“Sit,” Gwyneth said. She motioned to one of the high-backed, wooden chairs across from the girls. The long, polished table seemed too large for this meeting, but I guess Gwyneth wanted the occasion to feel formal. She had succeeded.
I pulled out a chair, my bottom hitting the seat too fast. Annest rolled her eyes. Once Gwyneth had taken her place at the head of the table, my indoctrination began. My stepmother laid out the new rules, the way things were going to be while Father was away and of what my duties were to consist. Essentially, I was to be their servant. And if I protested or disobeyed in any way, I would be punished. Gwyneth had already seen to it that I was aware of the truth in this. It wasn’t just an empty threat.
After listening to Gwyneth for what seemed like over an hour, Annest and Dafina alternately chimed in with their own requests and instructions regarding how I was to care for them. Then at last, they seemed to have run out of orders.
I sat motionless, wondering if the look on my face was like that of a child who had been caught pilfering desserts in the middle of the night. I couldn’t leave the table without getting some explanation from them. They were the guilty ones, not me.
I cast my eyes on Gwyneth and asked, “Why?”
“Excuse me?” She fluttered her long eyelashes.
“Why are you doing this? We have plenty of household help.”
“You have no right to question me. Know your place,” Gwyneth said.
“Yes, I do understand that that is the consensus here. But why? What have I ever done to you?” I held her gaze. My legs still trembled under the table, but I was determined to hold on to some sense of dignity.
“Your role is not to question why. This is the way of the world, Elin. The lesser serve the strong. And you are the lesser, my dear.” She observed me with cool regard, while Annest and Dafina could barely keep straight faces. In my peripheral vision, I saw their white teeth flash. This whole ordeal seemed to please them very much.
“Lesser?” I said, drawing my brows together. “No, I’m afraid you’re mistaken. I’m Talies’ daughter. Blaenwood is my home. I was born here. I have just as much right to be here as you do, if not more.”
Gwyneth huffed. “Oh, Elin. I don’t doubt that you were born here. But I do doubt, very much, that you are your father’s daughter.” She paused, waiting for my reaction. I guess I wasn’t feeling whatever it was she wanted me to feel. I was only aware of confusion. During my silence, Gwyneth continued.
“Haven’t you ever wondered? I know it’s a lot to take in but think about it. Does he care for you as a father would care for his own child?”
I shook my head. She was insane. “Of course, he does. And obviously, I know what you’re saying is a ridiculous lie.”
She clucked her tongue. “Don’t jump to conclusions so hastily. Really think, Elin. Does he treat you like his own flesh and blood? Does he include you in matters that are important to him? Does he listen to you?”
This time I must have reacted, because the corners of Gwyneth’s mouth turned up in a wry smile. Does he listen to you?
“I know, Elin,” she said. “I know about your mother. And I know that you went, well—” She pursed her lips, raising an eyebrow slightly. “—crazy, and Daddy nearly had to have you committed.”
“She’s as mad as a March hare,” Annest squealed, and she and her sister lapsed into giggles.
My stomach was a ship at sea in a storm, while my mind whirled with all the debris of the hurricane. I was used to betrayal from Father. I was used to the idea that he didn’t believe me. It had crushed me when it happened back then, but at least it had come to be familiar. But the fact that Father had confided in this woman, wife or not, that he nearly had me locked up in an asylum? I hadn’t brought up what I had seen in many years, and this latest stab in the back was beyond my comprehension.
“Cat got your tongue?” Dafina asked. Her voice was so feminine, so cool, that it added to the insult.
My breath caught in my throat. I hated the three of them, these intruders into what little happiness I had clung to. Now, I felt I might very well hate Father too. My life wasn’t perfect, but at least it had been mine.
“It seems I don’t have many allies,” I said, rising from my seat. “But you have nothing to gain from trying to get me to believe I’m a bastard child. Insulting my mother is too low even for you.” But I knew it wasn’t, not really. Murdering me and leaving my body in the cellar to rot probably wasn’t too low for this woman.
“You mean you don’t have any friends,” Gwyneth said. “And you haven’t been excused.” She pointed a delicate finger toward my chair. Something I couldn’t see, an invisible force, thrust me back down. My rear end hit the seat with a thump and the air whooshed out of my skirts. The girls laughed. My stepmother hadn’t even touched me this time. I looked back at her, open-mouthed, but said nothing.
“What did Eiriana say to you?” Gwyneth asked. She tapped a nail on the table.
“What?” My tone was probably going to get me in more trouble, but I couldn’t help it.
“Oh please, no one is fooled by the story of that woman being your grandmother. What did she tell you? What was her purpose in coming here?”
“She told me nothing. I hadn’t even met her until your wedding,” I said. My ears burned, and a cold sweat ran down my back.
“So, you admit she isn’t your grandmother?” Gwyneth asked. She twirled something in her fingers—a folded, black fan, I realized—as she leaned her elbow on the table.