by J. Conrad
“Since this is your first time, it’s best to be seated. Relax, and let your mind find the spirit who dwells there. Let him speak to you. Then you’ll see, this is not so different from talking to the Draugosero with thought-speak. Let this happen naturally. Don’t force it and remember to be respectful.”
Doing as the Wolf Queen instructed, I settled down on the carpet of soft grass and leaves before the holly berries. I crossed my legs and set my hands upon them, trying to get comfortable and relax. I concentrated on the idea that I was not “speaking to a plant,” but to a spirit who dwelt within. Around me, the forest played its soothing melodies of wind, birds, and animals rustling about in the foliage, and the sweet, earthy scent of rich soil filled my nostrils.
The red holly berries seemed to fade, to dim, and I was no longer looking at them, but at a man. He stood before me clad in primitive, hide garments, his long, raven black hair hanging in front of his shoulder in a thick lock. His dark brown eyes peered at me within his strong, tanned face. In his hand was a weapon, not unlike the ax I carried with me from Blaenwood, but as I focused on the man more clearly, the weapon faded and disappeared.
Who disturbs my work within the wood? the man asked.
My name is Elin. I’ve journeyed here with the Wolf Queen and I humbly request your aid. His image rippled, as though he was about to vanish from sight and our connection would be broken. His eyes alighted on Seren, as though he had not been aware of her before. He looked at me again, coming closer and leaning in toward me.
I am Elioth. What do you most desire? he asked, narrowing his eyes.
And even though I was waiting for Father to return my message, even though I was entangled in a battle between wolves and witches that began before I was born, even though I had ten days until the royal ball and I needed to find Eiriana, I answered back with only one thing—the honest answer. I want my mother back.
I squeezed my eyes together, clenching my fists and shaking my head. That isn’t what I should have asked for. That was a selfish, fruitless wish, a little girl’s wish that would never come true. I was wasting my precious time here. No—forgive me, that is not—
Ah, Elioth said. But no one can bring back the dead. The dead walk in the shadows between worlds, until they decide to join us through rebirth. He slightly lifted his smooth jaw, frowning. But the one you seek, she isn’t dead. She is only lost. And the lost can be found again.
The sudden fluttering of my heart from the shock of his words made me sway. A warmth started in my chest and pulsated out to my arms, legs and hands. I hadn’t realized how cold I was until the chill had left me.
How can I find her? I asked.
She is in the place where mortals may not go. But, if you’ll swear to plant the seed of the sacred tree in the dead forest, I shall bestow upon you a gift to secure your passage—one time. However, the journey back is one you must make yourself, Elioth said.
Are you speaking of the Fae Realm?
Some may call it so, Elioth said.
Yes, I’ll gladly do as you ask. But I’ve never seen the dead forest. And I don’t know how to find either place.
He nodded, holding out a small, leather pouch in the palm of his hand. I reached for it, expecting my fingers to pass through the image, but I felt the smooth, cool leather and its solidity against my palm. I squeezed it, feeling a seed inside roll against my fingers.
Elioth placed his hands together, casting down his eyes as he meditated. When he drew his palms apart, an open oyster shell with a large, black pearl inside rested there. I thought of my mother’s pearl necklace that Gwyneth had set on fire. Yet this was black instead of white, the same substance and yet opposite. It was almost like Elioth knew, and a chill inched itself up my spine like spider’s legs. The spirit held out the gift and I took it, studying this rare thing which had just materialized from his thoughts. The pearl was very real, its opalescent surface glimmering in the golden sunlight of the forest.
This gift will allow you passage but once, Elioth repeated. Enter in the fern glen near the rushing river. In the Fae Realm, you can use the pearl to guide you. But you must find your own way to return. The dead forest is a place you know.
Thank you. I am forever grateful. As I carefully held the oyster and seed, Elioth’s image started to fade. He held up a hand and I mirrored his gesture. Then I was alone, sitting on the ground while I stared at a holly shrub in a spring wood. I became aware of the trees around me and the hum of insects.
Rising to my feet, I turned to find Seren. Near the hollow of the ancient hawthorn tree, a large, black wolf had curled up among the toadstools and fallen asleep.
Chapter 16
Seren changed back to her human form before we left the spirit world together. The warm sunshine, bird calls, and song of insects were gone. Here in the ordinary world, winter’s dour face scowled down upon the bleak landscape. All that remained was the hawthorn tree and colorful toadstools. The Wolf Queen’s guards nodded at her as we returned, casting wary eyes on me.
I stayed the night in the Draugosero’s camp. We breakfasted on cold meat, the leftover deer staying preserved by the weather overnight. As I was preparing to leave, I overheard the grey wolf, Gavin, addressing Seren in thought-speak.
I hope she is who she claims to be, Your Majesty. That she was worth this delay. He wanted me to be privy to this statement or he would have shielded his mind from me.
We have lost only a few hours. I challenge you to name one other human with such a gift of thought-speak and animal empathy, Seren replied.
Yes. But it’s having thought-speak only, with no other magical abilities that I find strange. One doesn’t usually have one without others, Gavin said.
Seren frowned, her motions becoming jerky as she rifled through a bag of gear. She tossed her hair out of her face and gave him a backhanded wave. Noted. Now leave us, she said, and he departed without another word.
Eiriana’s words rang in my ears from the day I listened near the space beneath the door in the attic. The girl has no shifter abilities… no capacity for magic, she had said.
“For you,” Seren said, handing me what looked like a woolen scarf. “I won’t be needing it for a while. It will serve you better.”
Smiling, I accepted it gratefully, wrapping the warm cloth around my neck. “Thank you. And thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome, Elin. Until we meet again, be brave on your journey. And when the day seems dark, do not lose heart,” the Wolf Queen said.
As I headed northeast, her words made me think of Trystan’s river stone hidden away under my many layers of clothes. I wanted to study it again, to see if those images returned, but I would wait for strong daylight, so its glow wouldn’t be noticeable. The clouds had cleared enough for me to see a few streaks of rose gold at the eastern horizon. My legs were sore, and I was tired from my desperate escape yesterday, but the full night’s sleep in safety had helped.
Mid-morning brought a faint, chilly drizzle. Father’s coat and Seren’s scarf kept it off all except my face. Though I had eaten breakfast, I ate some of the hard cheese I brought from home to quiet my grumbling stomach. As I pressed ahead for the fern glen Elioth spoke of, I thought back to the day I had met Trystan. I had passed such a place but hadn’t lingered there, instead finding the clearing where I had sat on a rock before meeting the wolf from my childhood.
By midday I arrived. I reached inside the pocket under my dress. I would look at the river stone again before going any further. Placing it upon my palm, as it glowed softy, I tried to recall what I was thinking when I had seen Trystan’s face within its substance. I wish to see Trystan, I thought. My heart was racing, and my attention was half on my surroundings. I was alone and needed to be watchful. Inside the stone, nothing was happening. Show me Trystan, I thought. I stared and waited. Nothing. I sighed and put it away.
Slipping my hand inside my coat pocket, I felt the serrations of the rough oyster shell under my fingers. Besides telling me t
o come here, Elioth hadn’t mentioned how to actually enter the Fae Realm. Last night, Seren had maintained that she wanted nothing to do with deciphering the spirit’s instructions. His words were for me and me alone.
With the noise of the river in my ears, I stared past the glen at the water as it rushed over the rocks in a white froth. The ferns, which had been thick, lush and green in the fall, were now mostly withered and brown. I reached out my hand, feeling the cool stems and the tiny, dry leaves which fell away at my touch.
A spider had spun its web between two ferns. It was still shining with droplets from the morning drizzle. However, when I pushed one of the plants with my hand, the spider’s web didn’t move. None of the water droplets shuddered or fell away from the spindly mesh its creator had woven. I reached out my fingers, but they passed right through it like it wasn’t even there. This must be my answer to how to enter the Fae Realm. I heard Seren’s words: “most mortals who enter that terrifying and beautiful place never return.”
Keeping the oyster inside my pocket, I gripped it and walked straight into the spider’s web. Nothing seemed to be happening. In front of me, I saw part of the river bank on the other side of a tree and vines tangled between the shrubbery. I could hear the river’s constant surge against the rocks. But when I took another step, I screamed.
The forest and river had disappeared. Had I taken one more step, I would be falling off the precipice on which I now stood. I stumbled and grabbed out at nothing. Trying to get my balance after the shock, I hugged the rock face at my right. The ledge beneath me was barely wide enough to walk on. Beyond it was a chasm so deep I couldn’t see the bottom, for clouds obscured the view below. The sky was a faint, swirling, starlit cobalt, with the sun hovering in nearly the same place as in the mortal world. But here the sun was softer to look at, and whiter, almost like the moon. Looking at these strange heavens was like beholding the day and night in the same sky. Great birds, twice the size of eagles with black and red plumage, soared above the clouds, diving into them and disappearing.
Panting, with weak legs I pressed my body against the wall of rock. The tiny ledge on which I stood didn’t end on either side of me but seemed to go on like a sort of path around the girth of the mountain. My heart hammered at the dizzying height and I was finding it hard to catch my breath. The thin air made me lightheaded. Terrified that a gust of wind would send me into the abyss, I kept both hands on the mountainside, and I turned my body sideways, stomach against the rock, and sidestepped my way along the ledge. I hoped that it had an end in the form of a flat plateau. I longed for it as I concentrated on keeping my footing.
The ledge made a sharp turn, and though I couldn’t see beyond the bend, by feeling with my foot I knew the path continued. Holding on with my fingers, which were already scraped from gripping solid rock so tightly, I tried to feel around the corner. The vertical rock wall suddenly seemed very narrow, because I could place my left arm around it while keeping my right hand in front of me. Testing the ground with my foot, the path was there. I had nowhere else to go, so gripping the narrow piece of rock, I cautiously started scooting to the other side. When I got my hip around, I removed my right hand, and fell face first into nothingness.
I screamed a second time. My eyes saw only blackness and I flailed my arms. Had I dropped off the precipice into the clouds? I reached out for something, anything, but there was nothing there. Then my face smacked into something hard with the force of my body weight behind it. I cried out, grunting as the impact knocked the breath from me. I tasted blood where I had bitten my cheek, but I wasn’t falling anymore. I was lying on solid ground, in a dark place. I felt dusty rock beneath my hands. Pushing myself to a sitting position, I turned, seeing the mouth of the cave I had “fallen” into. Outside was the cobalt sky filled with stars and the softly glowing, noonday sun. Looking back the other way, I saw only darkness.
Reaching into my pocket with shaking fingers, I removed the oyster and opened it, revealing the large, black pearl. Elioth had said I could use it to guide me, though I didn’t understand how. Nothing occurred when I exposed the pearl. It sat upon the oyster’s flesh as it had done when it was given to me.
I got to my feet and with my free hand in front of me to protect my face, walked slowly into the darkness. The cave floor beneath my feet seemed fairly smooth and so far, I had not tripped over anything. As I immersed myself in the darkness going farther back, the pearl within the oyster started to glow a faint blue, so faint the only reason I could see it was because of the blackness which enveloped me like a tar pit. The farther in I went, the brighter the glow became. Soon, as I held the oyster out before me, it lit the way like a bright oil lantern, and I could see the cave around me.
The ceiling, walls and floor appeared to be made of rough, natural stone. My eyes darted around feverishly in the unfamiliar place, especially after the terror of the height outside, but I couldn’t see anything dangerous inside the cave. At least, not yet. The ceiling seemed free of bats and insects, the floor was for the most part clean of debris and anything I could trip on. The pearl light shined the way ahead until the glow was swallowed up in the distance.
After walking for maybe ten minutes, I finally saw something. My arm twitching involuntarily, I almost dropped the oyster. I stumbled and caught it with my other hand. Here in this impossible place of darkness and rock, I swore I saw a human shape—like a human behind bars. Lifting the glowing pearl again, I peered forward. The light illuminated something like a cage with rusted bars. Behind it, a human woman sat hunched over, her long hair obscuring her face.
“Hello,” I called. I hoped the woman wasn’t dead. My heart started pounding and I heard the blood whooshing in my ears. The idea that was forming in my mind seemed too good to be true. Elioth said my mother was lost, and that the lost may be found again. Whoever this woman trapped in the cage might be, she was certainly lost.
“Hello,” I said, as I steadily approached. “I’m here to help.”
The bent woman with her disheveled hair started to stir. She stretched out an arm and grabbed one of the bars. Slowly, weakly, she started to raise her head. Just as I got closer to the cage, the woman lifted her head and looked up at me. She appeared tired and dirty, but otherwise unharmed, and her face was exactly the way I remembered it from all those years ago.
“Mother! Mother,” I said, setting the open oyster shell down on the floor. I rushed to the cage, reaching out for her. “Mother, it’s me—Elin, your daughter. I’ve come to help you.”
Mother blinked, her eyes widening in unmistakable recognition. Her mouth dropped open and she stood up, sucking in a breath as she tried to take in what was happening. Her voice came out sounding heavy and unused. “Elin. Is it truly you? Is this a dream?”
“It’s really me,” I said. “I always knew you were alive. I always knew it.” I took her hand through the bars and squeezed it between both of mine. Her skin was cold, and I wondered when she had last seen the sun. I didn’t recognize the dress she was wearing. It looked almost like a nightgown, or a long, plain shift. The garment was a stained off-white. The ache behind my eyes, which I had repressed for so long, felt like a dam spilling over. I blinked, and a rush of tears streamed down my face.
She smiled weakly and I got the feeling it was the first time she had smiled in a long time. “Elin! Oh, Elin. My beautiful daughter. Look at you, you’re all grown up now. How did you find me? This is impossible.”
“That’s a long story, I’m afraid,” I laughed. “The important thing is that I get you out of here. How can I unlock this?” I searched for a door to the cage but didn’t see one.
“Unfortunately, there is no door. I’m trapped inside by magic. The cage will only open at the appointed time,” Mother said.
“When is that?” I asked.
My mother looked down, blinking and biting her bottom lip. “I don’t know. I’ve lost track of time in here. It may be tomorrow, or it may be many years from now. How old are you now?”
>
“Seventeen,” I said.
“Seventeen,” Cara repeated. “And when I was taken, you were six. The duration of the curse is fifteen years, so that means I have four years to go. That is four years give or take some months and days, because it’s to be fifteen years exactly from when I was captured. How’s your father? Is he well?”
In her eyes, I could also see the question she didn’t ask. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he had remarried, and especially that his new wife was a Calek. Not now. “He went to Tinsford in the fall to attend to the factory and the fishing fleet. The last I heard he was well. But Mother, four years,” I said, and the dam behind my eyes broke all over again. “We don’t have four years, I have to get you out today. What are you eating in here? How can you live without the sun?”
“Every day, food appears for me at the appointed times. And each day, a window opens on the ceiling at midday and lets the sun in. I’m tired and stiff, but I’ll be fine. I’m so sorry I haven’t been with you all these years. I wasn’t there to see you grow into the woman you are now. This was all part of my mother’s bargain, and I must bear this burden until my time has been served.”
I narrowed my eyes and gripped the bar more tightly, because I wasn’t sure I had heard correctly. “Mother, are you telling me that my grandmother Eiriana did this? Your own mother did this to you?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “And I’m so sorry. If only I would’ve listened, things might be different now.”
I gripped the cold bar so hard my knuckles turned white. I stared at the metal which held my mother and noticed that the copper color I had seen under the dust wasn’t rust. The bars were made of bronze, since iron wouldn’t make sense in the Fae Realm. Not that anything made sense here. And the idea that my own grandmother locked her daughter away for fifteen years—and didn’t mention it to me, knowing I thought her dead—made the least sense of all.