by Sarah Gagnon
He looks around at the people on the beach. “What do you see out there?”
“People covering themselves with sunblock, talking on their phones, and enjoying the beautiful scenery all around them.”
“Okay, good. Now close your eyes and tell me what you hear.”
“Yelling kids, splashing water. The camera crew shuffling around the table.”
He laughs. “I like your perspective. So, if I were writing a song from your viewpoint, I’d pick those three pieces of noise and mimic them. Take a few yelling kids, draw out the notes, and repeat the sound until it’s more instrumental rather than noisy.”
I take a gulp of my drink. I’m stunned. He really is an artist. “That’s amazing to think about. How would your perspective be different?”
He grins at me. “I’d probably focus on you and the sound your coconut makes on the table, like a drumbeat. Then I’d pick a few key lines for you to say.”
“And what would you have me say?” I ask, leaning closer.
“Uh-oh, now I’m on the spot.” He takes a big drink.
I drape my hair over one shoulder, giving him a second to think. “You don’t have to answer.”
“Eh, my lyrics sometimes cut to the emotional center of an idea. But…okay. How about this: ‘Coconut liquor heating my tongue. What does heat taste like? What do you?’” He pauses and flushes. “Uh, then I’d play the noise your lips make when you lick them.”
My face is burning. “I’m speechless.”
“Damn, our first date and I’ve already scared you.” He glances down quickly and swirls the liquor and juice around in his coconut.
“No, nothing like that.” I drag my finger through the condensation under my drink. “I think your song would be much more romantic than mine. Yelling kids aren’t that melodic.”
He looks back up at me and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent succumbing to the dazzle effect.
“I think that’s why I got so popular with my last few recordings. I’m trying to find the sexy parts of the natural world.” He flips his hair back.
My brain flutters. Jeremy Bane sitting inches from me, talking about music. Dream come true. But now I need to pull it together, because I need that prize money and I can’t lose my ability to reason. “You do a great job composing. I wish people connected with visual art the same way they do with music.”
“I remember you said you do scratching in your interview. I want to see your work sometime.”
I nod. Any excuse for more time. “I’m sure it’s amateurish compared to what you produce.”
“Hey, don’t undercut yourself. I’m sure it’s incredible.”
I shrug. I don’t think I’m any better at taking a compliment than he is.
“Let’s see if we can get a moment alone.” He takes my hand. I push my drink back and stand up. I wish I could keep the coconut. I’ll never be able to see one again without thinking of his lyrics. My feet sink into the hot sand and we take quick steps together toward the water. “Do you swim?” He asks the question as though he expects me to say, “Of course I can swim.”
“No.”
He stops his brisk steps and turns to me. “You can’t swim?”
“Sorry, this is my first time at the beach.”
“You didn’t learn when you were growing up?” His eyebrows lift and I find the expression particularly endearing.
He must have grown up with a lot of rich kids. “I’m from Boston and they don’t let people swim in the harbor.”
“Huh. I can’t imagine not swimming. But don’t worry, I’ll teach you. It’s not hard.”
“Okay.” I can’t do this. I’ll sink like a stone.
He pauses by a lounge chair close to the water’s edge and strips off his T-shirt. The bottom drops out of my stomach. Oh. My. God. He ripples with muscle in the bright sunshine. He’s so real and so sculpted, and his chest is better than any of my fantasies. “Are you swimming in your T-shirt?” he asks.
My T-shirt. Crap. I choke and glance at the camera. Jeremy follows my gaze and steps in front of the lens. “I’ll walk behind you into the water.”
Oh, God. He just thinks I’m shy. “It’s not that. Well, it is, but also—” I try to swallow, but my throat tightens and damn…I’m so nervous. He’s watching me, silently asking me what my problem is. I don’t want to be this girl. I want to be confident, pretty. And I really don’t want to admit I’m diseased. I slide my T-shirt over my head and toss it on the chair next to his. I keep my back turned away from him and the cameras.
“Purple,” he whispers.
I drop the wrap skirt. The cameraman edges around Jeremy to get a clean shot of me. “What the hell, man?” He puts his hand over the lens. “Show a little bit of respect.”
“She’s agreed to be filmed.”
“I doubt she agreed to have every guy in the world watch her undress.”
The assistant holds his hand up for us to give him a minute as he opens his briefcase. I wonder if I actually did agree to that very thing.
“Come on.” Jeremy turns his back to them and I stay in front of him, walking backward until my heels hit the cool water.
“Oh!” I freeze. “The water’s not warm.”
He laughs at me. “Don’t worry. Your body will get used to the temperature.” I rub my hands over my goose bumps.
“Did you think it would be like an indoor swim center?”
I bite my lip. “I’m not sure what I expected.” I shiver and step quickly into deeper water. We face each other. My balance would be better if I walked the other way, but Jeremy would see my back. I stumble and he grabs my arm to support me.
“The waves will knock you around if you let them.” He keeps one hand on my arm to stabilize me.
I’m up to my thighs in the cold water and the sand slips away under my feet. I stare down. My legs are obscured by the sediment I kick up as I try to move.
“Hey, focus on me.” He tilts my chin up. “You don’t have to look so scared. I’m not going to let you drown.”
His fingers on my chin are gentle. Water weaves between my legs and I’m unsteady on my feet. He drops his hand away from my face, but continues to watch me.
“The sensation is so weird. The waves keep trying to push—” A wave cracks against my back and I’m flung forward, past Jeremy, and all of a sudden I’m underwater. I thrash back and forth, trying to find the bottom or the air—anything to figure out which way to push. I’m drowning. I’m sure of it. Then I feel Jeremy’s grip tight on my wrist, yanking me back up.
“Just put your feet underneath you,” he’s saying. I cough and sputter. There’s sand in my mouth and I think my head hit the bottom. “Deep breath, you’re fine.”
I do what he says and plant my feet on the ground. I pat my back. The mic is still attached. “I thought you said you weren’t going to let me drown!” I push the hair out of my eyes and cough out more sand. “You could’ve caught me.”
“I tried, but you were pin-wheeling your arms all over the place, and then you just sat down.”
“I didn’t do that.” I blink the water out of my eyes and glance down at my top to make sure the purple triangles are still in place. Then I’m laughing. “I just sat down?”
“Pretty much.”
“Then how did I get sand in my mouth?”
“I have no idea.” He takes my hand and pulls me to his side. “I think you’d better risk the camera and let me go first to protect you from the waves.” I hope the camera is far enough away to not have a clear shot of my back. If only my hair was four inches longer, my entire lower back would be covered. Jeremy takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. The gesture knocks the need for self-preservation right out of me and I follow along meekly.
“It’s easier once we’re past the wave breaking point,” he explains.
I try to smile, but the deeper we get, the more my body tries to float away. The water laps at my neck by the time he finally stops.
“Mission acco
mplished.” Did I miss something? “They won’t be able to hear us now.” He touches my shoulder blade where the mic is submerged. “Water distorts the sound too much. This may be as much privacy as we’re getting today.”
“Oh.” What now? Should I tell him about Fluxem? If I want the sympathy vote, confessing that might do it. And ruin our date, too.
“Tell me something real, that you don’t want the world to know.”
I gulp. This is it. Tell him. I swallow my contagious saliva back down again. “I, uh, can answer the one-wish question you asked on the plane.”
He pushes his wet hair back out of his face. “Nice, I love hearing how people respond to that question.”
No pressure. “I’d make all the water in the world clean and—”
“Hey, that’s my wish.” He splashes me.
Argh, what am I doing? He gave me the perfect opportunity. “Well, I wasn’t finished. I was going to add more.”
“No double wishing.”
“So I can’t add the ability to breathe underwater so that I can collect treasure?”
“Nope.”
“Well, crap.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “How am I supposed to believe that’s really your wish? You might be using my ocean series of songs as inspiration?”
“Fine.” I raise my chin high above the water. “I take it back. Dump the pollution in, I only want the treasure at the bottom of the ocean.”
“Selfish, huh?” he asks, laughing.
“Only when it comes to treasure,” I say, smiling. “Your turn, answer the same question.”
“I told you, you stole my answer.”
The water laps at my face and I bounce on my toes. “Pick a different wish.”
“All right, I’ll re-grow that huge section of redwood forest that they cut down. I love the old pictures of that place.”
“Oh, me, too. I have this black and white picture of the tree branches weaving together, kind of chaotic, like life.” A wave pushes me forward and I stretch to try and reach the ground. My head dips and water goes up my nose. I try to cover my face and blow it out in a ladylike fashion, but the salt burns. Jeremy touches my shoulder to steady me.
“Do you want me to teach you how to swim?”
“Yes.”
How do I bring up Fluxem? I should have wished for the cure. Though maybe there’s a chance he might pick me just because.
“You’re going to have to pay attention if you want to learn.”
“I’m with ya. I was just thinking up more wishes.”
He smirks at me. “You’re certainly a person with a lot of desires.” His voice deepens at the end.
“Nah, I’m a simple girl.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Hey, you’re the mysterious and romantic musician.”
“Oh, the flattery.” He fans his face, which splashes water in my direction.
“Better watch that, or I’ll start gushing. And I remember how much you said you hate that.”
He plugs his ears and floats on his back, humming a song I’ve never heard. I want to chase after him, but his chest floating on the top of the water is so real. He’s not wearing many clothes and he’s-wow-toned. I try to walk deeper after him, but a wave goes right over my head. My fingers graze his side as I duck under.
“I think I’d better teach you how to swim for your own good.” His forehead wrinkles with concern while he holds my arm.
I love the way his hand feels. “What do I do first?” I ask.
“Let your feet float up from the bottom.”
I do and my head dips below the surface for a second, then Jeremy firmly grasps me by the shoulders. “Did you sit down again?” He shakes his head at me. “Okay, let’s try a more direct approach. I’m going to put my hand on your back and you lean into me. Your head stays above the surface of the water.”
“Got it.” His hand slides to the center of my back. Please don’t move your hand any lower. He’s about ten inches away from hitting the Fluxem mark. I don’t want him to find out like this. I bite my lip and try to relax my body. My feet leave the ground and I let him tip me back. My body floats to the surface and his other hand supports my upper back.
I open my eyes. I’m doing it. I’m swimming…or, well, floating. I smile up at him and he has a strange expression on his face. His head is close to my body and I think he’s trying not to look at me. He focuses off to one side, then the other, and finally up at the sky.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I, uh…” He seems suddenly off balance.
He’s not answering and I turn in his grasp. His hands trail to my front as I struggle to plant my feet. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” He clears his throat. “You’re just a really pretty girl.” Huh? Jeremy Bane thinks I’m pretty! Oh, wait, I get it. He’s physically excited. His hands are still on my arms. What do I say?
“Thank you. I think you’re amazing, but I guess everyone does.”
He glances off to the side. Maybe I shouldn’t have reminded him about all those other girls who think he’s hot. What do I say now? His hands are warm on my arms and the silence stretches into awkward territory. He turns back to me and there’s a scary intensity to his gaze.
And here it is. He leans in closer to me. His hands tighten a fraction, then his lips. His face tenses, his eyes check mine for permission. Then I realize. He’s going to kiss me.
I drop my feet out from underneath me and sit down hard. My butt bounces off the sand and my hair waves above me in the water. Jeremy Bane almost kissed me and I almost gave him Fluxem. My chest is caving in. He hauls me out of the water.
“Jeez, you don’t have to kill yourself not to kiss me.” He sounds hurt and exasperated.
“I, uh—” I suck in air and wipe at my eyes. I don’t want to tell you that I have a disease.
“Hey, it’s all right,” he says, steadying me as I cough. His smile is gone and I’m an idiot. He steps a few feet back from me, releasing my arm. So clearly it is not all right.
“I didn’t mean to fall down.”
He raises his eyebrows at me and wades toward shore. He stops when we’re half out. He turns to face me and I’m stricken. I’ve ruined our date. His hand reaches around behind me and covers the mic on my shoulder blade. “I didn’t mean to rush you or anything. I’m used to girls being-anyway, I am sorry. Forgive me?” He runs his hand through his hair and water drips down his arm. His eyes shift down to the water.
Forgive him. How can he even ask that? Everyone wants to kiss Jeremy Bane. It’s just that I’m diseased. “Of course, but you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry, too.” What did he mean by “girls being—”? Eager to kiss?
He takes his hand away and our conversation is being recorded again. I have to tell him about Fluxem. But how can I now? We wade out of the water. He cocks a grin at me, but keeps his distance, and I feel those two feet between us like a blow. The easy touching is gone.
The assistant waits at the edge of the dry sand. “We could barely film anything with you up to your necks in cloudy water. What were you thinking?” I scratch a design into the sand with my foot while Jeremy gets yelled at. “Your heads bobbing up and down aren’t what I consider interesting television.” I take a closer appraisal of our warden for the day. I didn’t think a small man could turn such a shade of red. He’s like a tomato ready to burst at the bulges.
“I couldn’t give a crap what you think is interesting for TV.” Jeremy brushes past him and I follow.
“Wait, we need you to do something worth recording.”
Jeremy picks up his pace and I stride along next to him. He’s focused forward, fists clenched. I stop at the lawn chair to get my T-shirt and slip it over my head as I run to catch up.
“It’s okay if I tag along, right?” My question lightens his expression and he slows his pace.
He looks at me through lowered lashes. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I get frustrated easi
ly.”
Apologetic Jeremy is so damn cute my chest constricts. “Where are we going?”
“I thought we’d go check out the trees outside of the resort. They’re not redwoods, but they’re cool. You seemed interested when we were in the car.”
“Yeah, that would be awesome.” Even when he’s angry he’s thinking about me.
I probably shouldn’t have said “awesome.” I’m definitely not impressing him. I pull my T-shirt lower to cover my butt. At least my mark is covered now.
“Your shirt is getting all wet.” He stares at me for a minute and then back at the road.
I look down and my bathing suit has made two wet triangles on my shirt; lucky it’s not white or the red mark would show right through. “Eh, it’ll dry.”
“I probably have an extra shirt in the car if you need to change.”
“I’ll be fine.” I’m not exposing myself anymore than I have to around the show staff. He shrugs. The camera crew follows as we walk along the side of the road, staring off into the foliage. This place is beautiful. Jeremy pauses next to a huge tree; the wide base curves outward in a giant U-shape.
He crouches down, examining the exposed roots. “I’m not sure what type of tree this is.”
I stop next to him. “I wonder how old it is?”
“Who knows with all the growth hormones they’re pumping into the soil these days. They might’ve grown a tree this size in a year.”
“Wow, that’s crazy technology.”
“Too bad there’s not enough green space to capitalize on it. Might help clean up some of this pollution.”
He stands back up. I wish I knew more about trees so that I could say something scientific and impressive. We start walking again. I brush my free hand against his, palm to palm. His fingers twine with mine and he glances at me in question. I can imagine his thoughts. She wants to hold hands with me, but won’t kiss me? I love the way his fingers fold around mine. And I love the sound of the leaves rustling and birds chirping. Real sounds, not pre-recorded animals from decades past.
“You look happy.”