“Your Grace,” Daisy murmured. “That is terrible.”
He turned to her, stopping on the lawn. “Please. Call me Griff.”
“Griff?” Her lips pressed together even as a blush climbed her cheeks.
“Griffin is my given name. Somehow, as I share my past failures, it’s more appropriate to use it.”
She gave a tentative nod. “All right...Griff.”
His name on her lips made him satisfied in ways he’d never imagined. “Thank you.”
“What happened? Between you and the duchess. How did you work it out?”
He shook his head. “We didn’t. By the end, we barely spoke. In fact, she lived in my London home for the last two years. I didn’t even know she was ill until I received word of her passing.”
Daisy’s hand tightened. “I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head. “Thank you. But you did nothing wrong. It’s I who should be apologizing to you. You see. I failed at a love match, Daisy. Utterly and miserably.”
He heard her gasp of breath, saw her eyes widen. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he loved her too. That was why he’d lashed out. Because despite everything he had in this world, love was the one thing he couldn’t make his own.
He must be truly dreadful that no woman could return his affection.
“Oh but surely, many fail at love the first time and…” Her words died on her lips. “I can see how that might change a person.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, the words he wasn’t saying heavy on his tongue. “I just wanted you to understand why I set out to make a match of convenience. I didn’t intend to hurt you, I just have no interest in repeating past mistakes.”
She looked down at the ground. “I understand. I don’t blame you, but…”
He stopped, looking down at her until she finally raised her gaze to his. “But?”
One of her delicate shoulders rose and fell. “Nothing.” she squared her shoulders, her chin tilting up. “I wish you nothing but the best for your future.”
Each of her words hit him like an arrow, piercing his skin. Of course they had no future together. They’d been dancing around that simple fact all day. He had foolishly fallen in love again. And she wanted a love match. Which would be ideal if she were in love with him, but obviously she wasn’t. She’d run away after his kiss. She’d just wished him goodbye, even as he’d bared his most hurtful secret from his past.
“I wish you all the best as well. You deserve it.” Then he started escorting her back up the lawn.
He would give his regrets and leave the party as soon as he could make the arrangements. He couldn't continue to hunt for a wife with Daisy present, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to mind his tongue if he stayed much longer.
He was liable to do something ridiculous like confess his undying love once again and watch his heart be crushed under a blush pink slipper.
Chapter Eleven
Marigold surreptitiously studied Daisy’s behind. “The rip is not so very noticeable.”
Daisy sighed. “Just noticeable enough then?”
Lily laughed and slipped her arm through Daisy’s as Marigold finished her inspection. They’d found her standing alone, still hovering near her parents who were engrossed in conversation with their friends, in the same spot where the duke had left her.
Where Griff had left her.
Her heart did a funny move in her chest at the intimacy of using his given name. At the intimacy of their entire encounter, really.
“Will everyone stop and stare if I were to walk past them in a tattered gown right now?” she asked.
“No, definitely not,” Marigold said. “It is not tattered, just...shredded.”
“Ah, that is better, I suppose,” Daisy murmured.
Lily peered over her shoulder. “Marigold is right. It is not very noticeable. And besides, everyone is too busy gossiping about the duke to care.”
Her entire body stiffened at the mention of the man who seemed to consume every waking thought lately. “What about him?”
“Why, that he is leaving,” Marigold said.
She blinked. “What? When?”
Lily shrugged. “As soon as possible, it seems. Likely at first light, by the sounds of it. That is what has everyone talking. He was supposed to stay the entire week and just like that—” She snapped her fingers. “He told our host that he must make arrangements to leave immediately.”
Marigold leaned in and lowered her already-quiet voice. “His sudden and urgent departure was all anyone was talking about when we were trying to find you.”
Lily arched a brow. “Indeed, we thought perhaps you could shed some light on the matter, since you recently had words with him.”
Both girls were staring at her with wide, expectant eyes now. Daisy had not had a chance to fill them in on her earlier conversation with Griff that took place while they’d distracted Miss Pearson. And she wasn’t sure she knew where to begin to explain the brief but surprisingly candid things he’d said to her not ten minutes ago as he’d once again come to her rescue.
Oh, perhaps untangling her gown was not quite as heroic and dashing as chasing down her runaway horse, but it felt terribly gallant, nonetheless.
“Well?” Lily prompted when Daisy hesitated. “What did the duke say when you apologized?”
“And what happened with Lord Merrick?” Marigold asked.
Lilly made a face. “Oh, yes, I do hope you survived the boredom. But I heard the duke came over to speak with you once Lord of Snores left you with your parents. Is that true?”
“Did he?” Marigold’s eyes were wide. “What did he want? Did he propose again?”
Daisy’s mouth opened and then snapped shut in the face of all these questions. She latched on to the last one first. Did he propose again?
Ha! The idea was laughable. Or...it would have been if she could summon a laugh.
“Daisy, are you...are you crying?” Marigold whispered.
Daisy shook her head but the tears that wet her lashes called her liar better than any words.
Lily tightened her grip on Daisy’s arm and tugged her closer. “Oh please do not cry over a man. Especially not a grim beast like the duke.”
Daisy sniffed. “He is not all that grim...not when you get to know him. And he is definitely not a beast.”
And that was precisely the problem. If he wasn’t so dashing, so handsome, and so unexpectedly kind when she least expected
Her friends exchanged a look that Daisy did not quite catch.
“Perhaps you should start at the beginning, dear,” Marigold said.
Daisy drew in a deep breath and let it all out in a rush, from her disheartening first encounter with the duke, her thwarted attempt to apologize, and finally his shocking explanation and kindness before he left her.
She did not tell him everything he’d told her about his first wife—just enough so they would understand that he’d redeemed himself for being so cold earlier today. The fact that he’d trusted her with that sort of intimate knowledge left her humbled.
And sad.
Terribly, pathetically sad.
For herself and for him.
“Dear, why do you look as though you are going to weep again?” Marigold asked.
Lily hitched her lips to the side, her brows drawn together in concern as she eyed Daisy. “I do wish you would stop crying, Daisy. You know I do not know how to handle tears. Give me someone to fight on your behalf and I would be happy to do it, but please do not weep!”
Daisy’s lips twitched with amusement at her friend's desperate plea. Lily never had been any good in the face of tears. She preferred anger and confrontations to weeping and lamenting. But Marigold was wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her tight. “You can let it out, dear. We are here for you.”
“It is not even me I am crying for,” she said, her voice shaky as emotions rippled through her. “Or perhaps I am feeling more than a little self-pity because now I know
that he can love. He is capable...he just does not love me and believes he never will.”
Her friends recoiled back in surprise. “Why ever do you think that?” Lily asked. “He asked you to marry him, did he not? Surely he must feel something for you. Perhaps, given time, his feelings would grow from respect to affection to...something more.”
Daisy and Marigold exchanged a knowing look. Lily never used the word “love,” almost as if she believed it to be a curse or a hex.
“Lily has a point,” Marigold added. “He might have made it sound like a business transaction, but he must hold you in high regard if he suggested marriage.”
Daisy hated the hope that flared to life inside her with their words. She knew they were being kind and optimistic but...hope would only lead to heartbreak in this situation, of that she was certain. She squashed the fluttery, uplifting sensation before it could get off the ground. “Don’t you see? The fact that he proposed, and the way he did it, combined with what he said today...it means he believes he could never love me.”
Her friends stared at her with wide eyes, very clearly not understanding.
She let out a huff of irritation at having to explain the obvious. “He does not wish for a love match, that much he has made clear. The fact that he sees me as a potential bride means he believes himself to be safe from my charms…such as they are.” She wrinkled her nose at the memory of their awkward first encounter, followed by her lack of grace during their second...and third, and fourth. “Don’t you see? He believes me to be the safe option since there is no way he could fall in love with me.”
Saying it aloud only made her heart hurt that much more, but she was tired of feeling sorry for herself and weary of pining over a man she had no business falling for—not back when she was a child, and certainly not now that she was a young lady who truly ought to know better.
“Is he so very resistant to the idea of falling in love with his wife?” Marigold asked, her brow furrowed in concern for this gentleman she hardly knew.
Daisy nodded. “I believe he is.”
Marigold sighed. “Well, that is—”
“Practical,” Lily finished. Daisy and Marigold stared at her until she shrugged. “Well, it is.”
“It is also sad,” Daisy said. “It is one thing not to prioritize love and romance in a marriage, but it is quite another to renounce it altogether.”
Marigold nodded encouragingly, though Lily did not look convinced.
But Daisy didn’t care if they understood. After all, they hadn’t heard the way he’d spoken about his poor, deceased wife. Foolish deceased wife if she could not see how lucky she was to garner the love of a man like Griff—but pitiful, nonetheless, what with her being dead and all.
Hearing him speak of his wife like that had done nothing to lessen her own burgeoning feelings for the duke. In fact, by the time he’d walked away she was left with the tragic realization that hearing him speak about falling in love with another had done away with the last of her doubts.
She’d been trying to tell herself that what she felt was nothing more than a continuation of her childish infatuation. That he was too cold and standoffish and incapable of returning her affections.
But he could love. He had loved—or at least, he thought he had.
He just could not love her.
She sniffled. That was enough. She would have all the time in the world to wallow in her misery when she returned home with her parents. But she did not have much time left to see Griff, to speak to him and…and what?
Make him see that he should love her?
The thought had her scoffing through her tears as her friends attempted to shield her from view. “Come, we will walk on either side of you and escort you to your room,” Lily said, already eyeing the crowds around them for their best escape route.
With one last sniff, Daisy shook her head. “Thank you, but I do not wish to retire. I wish to…” She swallowed, thinking through her options as her friends waited.
What did she want? Aside from Griff, of course.
The answer came to her with a jolt. The memory of his reluctant smile, his low laughter… Even now, the memory made her own lips tug upward in a wistful grin.
“I want him to be happy,” she said. “I want him to find someone who makes him laugh and reminds him to relax every now and again.”
“Even if that lady is not you?” Lily asked, her voice uncharacteristically gentle.
Daisy nodded, more certain the more she thought about it. “He is a good man. He deserves happiness. And I would hate to see him give up on that just because…”
“Just because…?” Marigold prompted.
Just because he’d been hurt before. She swallowed the rest with a rueful smile. “I wish he wasn’t leaving so soon. There are so many things I should like to say to him, and who knows when I’ll next have the chance.”
Lily rolled her eyes, tugging on Daisy’s arm. “If you want to see the man, then go find him. Marigold and I will help you.”
“We will?” Marigold asked breathlessly as she and Daisy hurried to keep pace with a determined Lily.
“Of course we will.” She strode confidently toward the crowds until they came out the other side of the gardens.
“Where are we heading?” Daisy asked.
“I overheard Miss Pearson telling her mother he was heading to the stables to make arrangements for his travels tomorrow.” Lily looked back at Daisy with a wry smirk. “I dare say Miss Pearson is even more distraught than you are at the abrupt departure of the handsome duke.”
Daisy huffed and picked up her pace, worried she might come to her senses and change her mind if she gave herself any time to dally...or to think.
Was it rash to rush after him like this?
Undoubtedly. But after his honesty back in the garden, she owed it to Griff to help him see that hiding his heart away wasn’t the answer.
He might not see her as a love interest, but she couldn’t bear to think of him wasting his life in another unhappy marriage.
They were hurrying toward the stables so quickly that Daisy nearly fell twice. When they were close, she stopped and turned to face her friends. “Would you wait here for me?”
Lily nodded. “Holler if you need us.”
Daisy grinned. She could not imagine what harm might befall her in the stables but, then again, one never knew with her.
“Good luck,” Marigold called after her.
She summoned another smile as she turned back to wave to her friend, but this one felt lacking. Good luck. Marigold must have thought she was chasing after the duke to accomplish the impossible.
But that was not why she was here.
She would not force her feelings on him—not when he made it so plain that he did not see her that way. But she would be a friend to him. Help him see that he deserved love...even if it was not with her.
She threw the stable door open quickly and it met with a wall and an “oof!”
A second later Griff’s form emerged from the other side of the door and he towered over her with a scowl.
So...not a wall then.
She bit her lip. “Apologies, Your Grace.”
He sighed as he planted his hands on his hips, but even through his weary irritation she caught a flicker of amusement. “Miss Merriweather. We must stop meeting like this.”
Chapter Twelve
Despite the fact that he was sure to be injured one of these times she knocked him with a door, he found this particular trait of hers...endearing.
She peered up at him. “It’s likely a good thing you're leaving then. I have made quite the habit of it.”
A chuckle rose to his lips as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Until he thought about actually leaving her. Would he ever see her again?
His lips fell into a frown and he raked a hand through his hair. He was going to miss Daisy. “You’ve already heard about my departure?”
She nodded, her hands covering her stomach. “It
’s not that large a party. Word travels quickly.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked as he considered what to say. I can’t stay here knowing how I feel about you were the only words that came to mind and somehow, they just wouldn't do.
Or would they?
He straightened then, stepping closer to where she still hovered in the doorway. What did he know about Daisy? She was kind, honest, a bit new to romance and scared of moving too quickly but sure of what she wanted. If he told her of his feelings, she might well reject them but she’d do so kindly and then he would know without a shadow of a doubt how she felt.
She’d enjoyed their kiss. He was certain of that. And she blushed and sighed at all the right times. Perhaps there was a chance after all.
But either way, she would not, he was certain, take advantage of his feelings in any way. He straightened. Yes, his heart had been broken but he was a duke, a man of strength and fiber. Surely, he could survive one woman kindly informing him that she did not love him. But if he left and never told her of his true feelings…
He’d never be absolutely certain that she didn’t return them.
She inched closer. “Why are you leaving, Griff?”
The sound of his name on her lips brought a jolt of heat that warmed him all the way through, but it was the clear distress in her eyes that left him speechless and staring. Did her distress mean…?
She did not want him to leave.
Hope had him shifting closer and he adored the way she did not move away. Instead her head tilted back and her lips parted. He suspected she had no idea how inviting she looked, how much he longed to lean down and taste those lips once more.
His heart thudded painfully in his chest as the realization struck him with brutal force. She might not have feelings for him yet, but that did not mean that she never would...that she never could.
She felt something for him, of that he was certain.
A Wallflower's Wish Boxed Set: Three Regency Romances Page 9