You Can Have My Heart, but Don't Touch My Dog

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You Can Have My Heart, but Don't Touch My Dog Page 15

by Dixie Cash


  Sandi hadn’t forgotten that her aunt had a penchant for matchmaking. She had to head her off. “Not interested, Aunt Ed.”

  “Well, you should be. He’s got a good job. C. J. told us Harley thinks a lot of him. It can’t be bad having the respect of a multi-millionaire like Harley Carruthers. Knowing Harley like I do, I’m sure he’s well paid. And he likes animals, too..”

  “That last fact might be his one redeeming quality. But Nick is not my friend, Aunt Ed. Don’t forget that.”

  “Oh, I know. I’m just saying...”

  At the beauty salon, they found Debbie Sue waiting for them. She helped Aunt Ed put Jake in his luxury home in the corner and sort his toys. “Some life, huh?,” Debbie Sue said. “Just sit around on your perch all day, play with toys and spout off.”

  “And crap all over everything,” Aunt Ed added.

  “He’s like a damn celebrity,” Debbie Sue said.

  They placed Pablo and Adolph in the back room.

  “Where’s Pablo?” Jake squawked when they returned to the salon.

  Without thinking, Sandi fell back into her old routine of explaining her actions to Jake. “He has to stay in the other room. Dogs can’t be in the beauty salon.”

  “Poor Pablo. Poor Pablo. Bad boy. Bad boy.”

  “Pablo has not been a bad boy, Jake. It’s Jake who’s a bad boy.”

  Only after all of them were settled did Debbie Sue ask about the whereabouts of Waffle.

  “He’s, uh, disappeared,” Aunt Ed said. “I let him outside to go potty this morning and we haven’t seen him since.”

  Debbie Sue’s jaw dropped. “Edwina-Perkins Martin. You are shitting me.”

  Aunt Ed shook her head. “I know, I know. It’s my fault. I take full responsibility.”

  “But that doesn’t get the dog back,” Debbie Sue replied. “As much as I hate it, we’re going to have to go see Billy Don and tell him. In case Waffle’s been dognapped.”

  “Pablo’s dognapped,” Jake said and made a sound like a guffaw. “Poor Pablo.” He hopped to a higher perch.

  “Who’s Billy Don?” Sandi asked.

  “Who’s Billy Don?” Jake repeated.

  “Our sheriff,” Debbie Sue answered. “Since we don’t have an animal control department in this town, he’s in charge of that, too.”

  “Nine-one-one,” Jake squawked. “Call the cops.”

  Sandi stepped back and raised her palms. “Just hold on, y’all. I’m not sure about getting the sheriff involved. I don’t want to make a big issue of this. For one thing, I don’t want Nick to know I’ve let Waffle disappear. He’ll think I’m an irresponsible dog owner.”

  Debbie Sue gave her a pointed look. “Why do you care what he thinks?”

  Sandi squared her shoulders and looked directly at Debbie Sue. “I don’t.”

  Debbie Sue planted her fists on her hips. “Hasn’t it occurred to you that Nick could have taken Waffle?”

  “What is this?” Aunt Ed asked, looking at her partner with a frown. “Yesterday, you were on his side.”

  “Fuck that. Today I’m not. I don’t believe Waffle ran away. I think Nick stole him.”

  On a gasp, Aunt Ed slapped her forehead with her palm. “Oh. My. God. You’re right, Debbie Sue. Waffle just vanished. No noise, no commotion. That was because Nick was somebody he knew. My back yard isn’t burglar-proof. Any kid could easily open the gate. So Nick just walked right up, opened the gate and let Waffle out.”

  Debbie Sue’s chest puffed up and she gave a smug grin. “See? That’s why we’re detectives. Because we know how to figure things out.”

  Sandi had little interest in why her aunt and partner were detectives. She was more concerned that Aunt Ed had just turned Waffle out into the yard alone.

  “Damn,” she stage whispered.

  “Even if I think he’s really Nick’s dog,” Debbie Sue said to Aunt Ed, “for the guy to sneak into your private property and take something you didn’t give him is just fuckin’ rude. And you know what you always say about rude behavior, Ed.”

  Aunt Ed pointed a finger at Debbie Due. “You’re right. Let’s go see Billy Don.”

  As the three of them trouped into Debbie Sue’s red pickup truck, Sandi had an eerie feeling she had completely lost control of events. Her aunt and Debbie Sue were like steamrollers.

  The sheriff’s office was a low-slung rectangle made of ugly pinkish brick. An obviously hand-painted sign that said JAIL hung on one end. A fence taller than the building and topped by razor wire showed from behind the building. Another sign that said OFFICE hung over a door in the middle of the building. Sandi blinked. She had never seen anything quite like it. “This is the sheriff’s office? And the jail is in the same building?”

  “Yeah. Also Billy Don’s living quarters.”

  Sandi’s gaze swung to the opposite end of the building where tiny flower beds flanked a screen door and a patch of grass grew in front. A skinny cowboy stood out front swinging a lariat loops around a fire hydrant.

  “Billy Don’s the sheriff, but his dream is to be a calf-roper,” Debbie Sue explained.

  Sandi was acquainted with people in law enforcement and every single one of them was too busy to rope fire hydrants. Every cell in her brain told her that what she and her new crazy companions were doing was a mistake. She couldn’t keep from asking, “He doesn’t have anything else to do?”

  “Trust me, darlin’, we’re all better off if he doesn’t do anything,” Aunt Ed answered.

  As Debbie Sue shoved the transmission into park, the cowboy gathered his lariat and sauntered over to the driver’s side window with a big grin. “What are you ladies up to so early in the morning?”

  “Ed’s niece’s dog has been dognapped,” Debbie Sue answered.

  “Uh-oh,” Billy Don said. “Well, come on in and give me the details.” He ambled toward the door under the OFFICE sign.

  Sandi and her aunt and Debbie Sue scooted out and followed him into the tiny office where they told their story and gave Waffle’s description.

  “Any idea who would just snatch him out of Edwina’s back yard?” the sheriff asked. “Must’ve been a stranger.” The sheriff gave a huffy heh-heh-heh. “Everybody knows who Edwina’s husband is.”

  “We think it was the new general manager out at Harley’s ranch,” Debbie Sue said.

  “Nick Conway?” The sheriff’s head began to shake. “Oh, I don’t know about that, Debbie Sue. Ol’ Nick is a square shooter. I doubt he’d steal anything, especially not somebody’s dog.”

  “We want you to investigate,” Debbie Sue said.

  “Why do you need me? You’re an investigator yourself. If you think he’s really got the dog, why don’t you drive out to the Flying C and tell him to give it back?”

  “It’s a long story, Billy Don. Can you help us or not?”

  “Debbie Sue, I don’t go out to Harley’s place for much. He takes care of his own problems. He might throttle me if he thought I was out there bothering one of his hands, especially his general manager.”

  “But if the guy has broken the law—”

  Billy Don tilted his head and raised a palm, stopping her. “We don’t know that. One thing your husband taught me was never to bother something that ain’t bothering me.”

  Debbie stamped her booted foot. “Billy Don, that applies to rattlesnakes and wild animals. Didn’t you hear me? He took a dog out of Ed’s back yard.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  “Listen to me. He had to open the gate. He might have even gone inside her fence. Uninvited. He broke in. If you go to Ed’s yard, you’d probably find his footprints.”

  Aunt Ed tucked back her chin and gave her partner a look. “Footprints? There’s nothing in that back yard but sand and rocks. A herd of buffalo could tromp through it and not leave any footprints.”

  Debbie Sue threw up her hands. “Y’all are making me crazy. Fuck it. I give up. It isn’t my dog anyway.” She stamped out of the office. Aunt Ed followed
and Sandi trailed behind, breathing a sigh of relief. Debbie Sue’s personality was a lot to contend with.

  “Okay, now what?” Aunt Ed asked as they rode back to the Styling Station.

  “We can find out easy enough if Nick’s got him,” Debbie Sue said. “I’ll just call up C.J. and ask her. She can see the manager’s house from her kitchen window.”

  “If Nick took him, he wouldn’t leave him outside alone,” Edwina said. “That wouldn’t make sense. Calling C.J. would be a waste of time and you might scare her.”

  “Nah,” Debbie Sue replied. “When we get back to the shop, I’m going to call her.”

  Only when she looked in a mirror had Sandi seen anyone with more determination than Debbie Sue.

  The minute they walked into the beauty salon, the woman picked up the phone and pressed in a number. “Hey, C.J., what are you up to today?... Uh-huh.... Uh-huh.... Sounds like fun. When are you leaving?... Oh, I see.... Listen, C.J., can’t you see into the yard of your manager’s house?... Does he have a big dog running around over there?”

  Debbie Sue gave Aunt Ed a look and pumped a fist. “What does it look like?...Uh-huh.... Uh-huh. That sounds like him all right.... Oh, nothing much. Your manager was in the shop for a haircut and telling Ed he was getting a new dog. He mentioned us picking him up and dropping him off at the vet’s to be groomed.... Well, listen, you’re so busy, I’ll let you go. Drive careful going up to Odessa.... Come to see us, ya hear?” She hung up.

  Sandi didn’t know who C.J. was, but the conversation sounded like Waffle had been found.

  Debbie Sue looked up. “Okay, y’all, Nick’s got him. He went by C.J and Harley’s house earlier and told Harley about getting his dog back. The dog and a puppy are in his back yard.”

  “That would be Randy,” Sandi said.

  “What would be Randy?” Edwina asked.

  “That’s the puppy’s name. Randy.”

  “Debbie Sue, I’m ashamed of you,” Aunt Ed said. “It’s not right lying to C.J. like that. And she’s a friend of ours. She’s gonna find out about this and I wouldn’t blame her if she never speaks to you again.”

  “Ed. Stop and think. Was it right that Nick took Waffle out of your back yard? Just remember, sometimes, when you’re handing out justice, you have to make tough choices. I’ve heard Buddy say it a hundred times and so have you. C.J. will be fine. She knows me. She’ll understand.”

  “Hah,” Aunt Ed said, and planted a fist on her hip.

  “So here’s the plan,” Debbie Due went on as if Aunt Ed hadn’t scolded her. “Harley sent Nick up to Odessa to do some kind of business and he’ll be gone all day. Nick left Waffle behind in the back yard. Harley’s already gone to his office in Midland for the day. C.J. is taking one of the kids up to Odessa to the dentist. We’ll just drive out to the Flying C in my truck, pick up Waffle and come back to town. Everything all wrapped up an hour.” Debbie Sue dusted her palms. “Then Sandi can put him in her SUV and take him back to Midland with her.”

  “Oh, yeah? And what if one of Harley’s hands sees us slinking around?”

  “And what if one of them doesn’t? They’re supposed to be out on the range. Besides, we aren’t going to slink. You heard what I told C.J. We’ll just say Nick asked us to take Waffle into town to be groomed.”

  “Harley’s hands have all got guns. I’ve heard Harley say so.”

  “Of course they do. They use them to shoot varmints when they’re out on the range.”

  “And what if one of them decides we’re varmints? What if he shoots first and asks questions later? We could get shot. And we’d be lucky if we did because it’d be quick. If Buddy Overstreet, on the other hand, finds out we’ve done this, he’ll skin us alive and stake us out on a red ant bed.”

  Euwww! Legends about the Texas Rangers abounded, but did they do that sort of thing these days? Panic began to flutter inside Sandi’s stomach. All of the stories she had heard inside her family about her crazy aunt and her partner’s zaniness were coming to light right before her eyes. “Ladies, please. I appreciate your help more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t have time to do this. I’ve got to go home. I’ve got two young girls taking care of my store. I’ve got a business to run and animals to feed.”

  Aunt Ed spoke to Debbie Sue as if Sandi hadn’t said a word. “And if Harley and C.J. get pissed off, I guess you can explain everything, smartypants. They’re better friends with you and Buddy than they are with me and Vic.”

  “It isn’t a problem, Ed. I told you, C.J. will understand and she’ll make Harley understand. Just like I make Buddy understand things.”

  “You mean sex.”

  “Well, of course.”

  Sandi stood there blinking at both women, trying to sort out the connection between sex and “understanding things.” That feeling of being on a carnival ride with no brake had returned. Hoping to avert disaster, she meekly asked, “Wouldn’t going into Nick’s yard be breaking and entering or something?”

  “We won’t be breaking or entering anything,” Debbie Sue said. “We’ll just open the gate and let Waffle come out, just like Nick did in Ed’s yard.”

  Aunt Ed released a great sigh. “Okay, Okay. Looks like we’re gonna do this. Let me call and re-set some appointments.”

  No. No. We can’t do this, Sandi wanted to shout, but she could see that Debbie Sue’s steadfast resolve would override anything she said. The woman had a rebuttal for everything. Sandi had never met anyone with such a commanding personality.

  Soon, Sandi was belted into the back seat of Debbie Sue’s crewcab pickup and they were flying down the highway while Garth Brooks blasted “I’ve Got Friends in Low Places” from the radio. From where she sat, Sandi couldn’t see the speedometer, but Aunt Ed was hanging on to the dash with one hand and the “oh Jesus bar” with the other. Sandi could feel her heartbeat drumming in her stomach. She didn’t know if her case of nerves was from the speed they were traveling or because she was about to break into someone’s yard and steal a dog.

  “Don’t forget that curve up ahead,” Aunt Ed cautioned.

  At the Flying C, they saw no people. Only a sprawling Spanish-style ranch house of tan stucco with wide verandahs and huge pots of beautiful colorful flowers. Debbie Sue drove past it to a smaller but still nice redbrick house with a chain-link-fenced yard all around it. They and Waffle spotted each other and he began to bark and trot along the fence.

  “There he is,” Debbie Sue said, catching Sandi’s gaze in the rearview mirror.

  She drove behind the house, came to a stop at a gate in the fence and shoved the gear shift into park. She turned back to Sandi and said, “Go get him.”

  You go get him, Sandi wanted to reply. This is your idea. Instead, she bit down on her lower lip.

  “Do you need any help, hon?” Aunt Ed asked.

  “I don’t think so.” Sandi picked up the leash she had brought with her, eased down from the back seat and tiptoed toward the gate, looking left over one shoulder and right over the other.

  “Jesus Christ, Sandi, you don’t have to sneak up on him,” Debbie Sue hollered out the driver’s side window. “There’s nobody here but us.”

  Still, Sandi was cautious. She eased the gate open and Waffle trotted to meet her, a big smile on his face. She bent down to hook the leash on his collar and he licked her face and made happy dog noises. A memory of how he had reacted when he saw Nick came back to her. Waffle was as fickle as most of the other males she knew.

  With no trouble, she hooked the leash onto his collar, took the time to re-latch the gate, then easily led Waffle into Debbie Sue’s pickup. And just like that, Waffle was hers again.

  As soon as they reached Salt Lick, giving no more thought to what they had done, Sandi hurriedly gathered all three dogs, their respective toys and abodes and hit the highway to Midland.

  Chapter 15

  Nick arrived home mid-afternoon, but didn’t see Buster in the backyard. He parked and walked through the house and out into t
he yard. Randy was there, bouncy and happy to see him, but where was Buster? Had he escaped and run off again? If so, how had he gotten out of the yard? Anxiety skittered through Nick’s midsection.

  He walked the perimeter of the fence, looking for a break or a sign the fence had been cut. He investigated the gate and latch, which appeared to be untouched. He called and whistled to no avail. Just like before, he had no idea where to look. The dog was as elusive as quicksilver.

  Scanning the landscape, he saw Harley’s wife watering plants on their patio. Heartsick over losing Buster again, he walked over. “Evening, C.J.”

  “Oh, hi, Nick. Are you looking for Harley? He hasn’t come home yet.”

  “I’m looking for my dog. You know, the big dog I brought home yesterday?”

  “Oh. He and your new puppy were in your back yard this morning. I saw them playing. But I left early and was gone all day. I didn’t even look when I got home. He’s not there now?”

  Nick shook his head.

  “Aw, I’m sorry. Maybe he hasn’t come back from town yet.”

  Nick’s head snapped up. “What town? What do you mean?”

  “You know. Salt Lick. The vet’s wife sometimes grooms dogs for people she likes. Debbie Sue mentioned that you wanted Buster groomed. She and Ed probably came out here and got him.”

  Shit. Buster was either back at Sandi’s aunt’s house in Salt Lick or back with Sandi in Midland. Relief surged inside Nick. At least his dog was safe. Nick felt better, but only slightly. Now he had to figure out how to get his dog back again.

  “Oh. Okay, thanks, C.J.” He touched his hat brim to her and walked back to his house and his new puppy.

  The next morning, he awoke with Buster, the Salt Lick sleuths and the good-looking redhead on his mind. This BS had gone far enough. It was interfering with his job. But before he took further action, he had to be sure that Buster hadn’t run off again, that Sandi and her pals had him.

 

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