“As soon as I figure out what that is, I will do just that.”
She kissed him. “Thank you. I’ll try not to be too long.”
“Wait.” He caught her arm. “Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
“Positive.”
Well, he wasn’t, he thought as he watched her head across the yard.
“Landers. Over here.”
It had been a while since he’d seen Jesse McAllister, who was standing with his brother Cole. They’d all known each other since they were kids. The two of them were Nathan and Clint’s ages, and they’d all played high school football together until a huge county dispute put the Whispering Pines in Twin Creeks’ territory.
He walked by the ice chest and grabbed a cold one before he met up with the two men.
“Hey, your timing is perfect,” Cole said, with a quick glance to the left. “The guests are on the prowl, so you’d better make it clear real quick that you’re spoken for.”
“I have my instructions,” he said, lifting his beer. “Good to see you, Jesse. It’s been too long.”
“That it has. Hey, I heard you did some time in the air force, too.”
“Yep, but I wasn’t a glorified pilot.”
Jesse laughed. “Shit. I flew cargo. You’re thinking of the fighter jocks.”
Seth smiled, then noticed the herd of guests had swung their way.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Cole took a swig from his bottle. A gold band gleamed on his ring finger.
“Hey, I heard you both married Sundance guests. Is that true?”
Jesse grinned. “You got us there.”
Seth figured he had about twenty seconds before the women ganged up on them. “How did that work out? I mean, you must’ve done the long distance thing before your wives moved here, right?”
The brothers had matching raised eyebrows. The amused grins came next. “Any particular reason you want to know?” Jesse asked.
Seth’s window of opportunity was just about to close. “Fuck you guys.”
The three of them laughed.
* * *
“YOU’RE ON VACATION,” Mrs. McAllister said, as she passed through the kitchen with a pitcher of margaritas. “Don’t let Rachel make you work for your supper.”
Hannah grinned. “Yeah, Rachel, listen to your mom.”
“Why don’t you just sing us a song while I finish getting the corn ready?”
“Ha. Very funny.” Sitting at the table, Hannah continued to tear pieces of tinfoil to wrap the corn. She’d started out on the counter but working on the beautiful pearl-gray granite countertop felt so wrong. Her gaze wandered over to the high-end stainless steel appliances. This certainly wasn’t the type of ranch kitchen she’d grown up with.
Hilda was at the stove, and so was Jamie, who’d given her a hug when she’d walked in.
They didn’t really need Hannah’s help at this point, and she thought about going to find Seth. But when she’d looked out the window and seen him talking with Cole and Jesse, she decided to hang with Rachel for a while.
It didn’t take long before the last of the food preparations were done, but Rachel held Hannah back when Hilda and Jamie left with their trays. “You want a beer?”
Hannah nodded.
After getting a couple of bottles from the fridge, Rachel led her out of the kitchen to the family room. “I’ve been so busy with the guests we’ve barely seen each other. I think Seth won’t miss you too much for the next little while.”
Hannah grabbed her beer and sank into an overstuffed chair, grateful to have a few minutes alone with her friend. The day had been...challenging.
“So,” Rachel said, making herself comfortable across from Hannah. “Why do I have the feeling something’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve had this look on your face. It reminded me a lot of the nights before finals. Has something happened? I hope you aren’t letting that idiot Jasper get to you.”
“Why? Is he spreading more bullshit about me?”
“Oh, he’s a pain in everyone’s ass. He’s got the whole town crazy. There was a fight at the Watering Hole last night, and that hasn’t happened in ages.”
Hannah’s good mood—which had been precarious to begin with, knowing the discussion she and Seth were having later—vanished. “I’m sure my name’s come up about a hundred times.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. He’s got enough locals to pick on.”
Which probably meant Seth. Hannah had made him a target ten minutes after the meeting had ended. Probably before that. She lowered her head, hunching forward, her hands gripping her beer between her knees.
“Hey, what the heck’s going on?” Rachel sounded worried now.
“I don’t know how this has become so complicated,” Hannah said. “Look, you remember I told you how bad things had gotten on my dad’s ranch, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, when I heard about the grazing permits, it seemed like that might be a way for them to get back on track. You know, truck the cattle up to Montana, let them get fat and increase the herd.”
Rachel was so quiet, Hannah had to look up. The moment she saw her friend’s expression, she wished she hadn’t.
“That’s why you were at the meeting,” Rachel said, her voice very different from just a moment before. “Why you were asking those questions.”
“Yeah. Kind of.”
“And?”
“It could work. I’m not sure my father will agree, but at least he’d have the option. I just wish I’d understood what I was getting into.”
“Hannah, have you talked this over with Seth?”
She wanted to cry. Just burst into tears at her own foolishness. Why had she waited so long to talk to him? “He doesn’t know.”
“Shit. Well, that’s not good.” Rachel stood up. Walked the length of the room, drank some, walked back over to the other chair. “You should have said something sooner. But that’s done and gone. The truth is, no matter what, Seth is going to understand that you’re trying to save the family ranch.”
“I don’t know what he’s going to think of me.” She looked up. “I know you guys don’t need grazing land, but I could tell even you were upset a minute ago.”
“I wasn’t upset. Surprised, maybe. Look, Seth will come around, but you have to tell him. It’s only fair. Now, don’t you get all upset. Listen to me. My brothers were absolutely appalled when I suggested we use part of the Sundance as a dude ranch. They were furious with me. Hated the idea. Then, when they finally, grudgingly, agreed that it would help us get through the recession, the town got wind and they all went nuts. No one wanted it.
“And then, just last year, Sadie agreed to have a movie company come and use the town as a set for their film. Talk about an uproar. My God, there wasn’t a soul who didn’t have some kind of opinion worth fighting over. But the money that movie brought to Blackfoot Falls made a huge difference. Even a few old shops reopened.
“You do what you have to do to save your ranch. To save a town. A community. No one, especially in cowboy country, likes change. You should have heard the outcry when the Circle K started using ATVs instead of horses. You’d have thought it was the start of the apocalypse. Unfortunately, you’ll be the first outsider bringing cattle into the area, so there will be some...bumps. So after you and Seth have dinner, you take him somewhere private and you tell him. Everything. Honestly, there was no way you could have known about the hoopla going on right now, and you’d just met Seth, so you couldn’t have known about his history with Jasper. But you do now. So tell him. He’s a good guy, Hannah.”
“I agree. He is. But I’m not sure this is something he should forgive. I appreciate you talking to me. So much. It’s made a f
ew things real clear. First of all, I’m not coming back to the Sundance.”
“What?”
“I’ve extended my stay in town. I can’t let people think your family is siding with me on this. And I have to distance myself from Seth, too. He deserves that.”
“Why don’t you let us decide what we need to do? Anyway, most of the crap going on has nothing to do with grazing permits. Some of the ranchers will use any excuse to gain supporters to go against the government.”
Hannah stood up. In her case, that didn’t matter. It was about lying to Seth while knowing what he’d gone through to make up past wrongs that had hurt his family. “I swear, if I could do it again, I’d never even give grazing permits a second thought. In fact, I hope it all falls apart.”
“I don’t think you believe that. Not if it can save your folks so much misery.”
Sighing, Hannah shook her head. “As bad as I am a singer, I’m a worse actress. And now I’ve got to go join the party and act like everything’s just peachy.”
Rachel rose and pulled her into a hug. “You can do this. You can do anything. You’re my fearless friend. And you’re a good daughter. Don’t let your father convince you otherwise. Now let’s go have a barbecue.”
* * *
SETH OPENED THE passenger door, but before Hannah could climb in, he caught her around the waist. “Not so fast,” he said, trapping her between his body and the truck seat. “I’ve waited too long to get you alone.”
Hannah turned to face him and arched back when he tried to swoop in for a kiss. “People can still see us, you know.”
“So? Think I care that you’re a government spy?”
Oh, God.
She tried not to whimper.
Nerves and fear were mixing in her stomach. Good thing she hadn’t eaten much. How could she have lived in denial for this long? The reason she hadn’t already explained to Seth about her big plan was because she knew it might upset him, that it could ruin their week together. At the same time, she’d convinced herself it wouldn’t matter to him so why bring it up?
Seeing the look on Rachel’s face, hearing the change in her voice...what an eye-opener. Hannah firmly believed Rachel didn’t care about grazing permits, and yet...it would be the same with Seth. Only worse, because Hannah should’ve told him.
He leaned back, searching her face. “What’s wrong? You’ve been edgy all evening.”
“I don’t know, I just—” She forced a smile, then pressed a kiss to his lips. “I have to tell you something that I’m dreading like crazy.”
“Okay.” He moved back a step. “We should probably get in the truck first.”
“I think so.” The second she was seated she thought of her rental, parked two cars over. Her luggage already stored in the trunk. “Don’t forget I drove separately.”
“Ah, right. Let’s talk, then we’ll figure it out.”
She nodded and watched him walk around the hood. Even in the dim light she could see the concern in his face. Had he overheard something? No, he’d been in a great mood until a moment ago.
He slid behind the wheel and looked at her. “The three extra vacation days you got. Did your boss renege?”
“Oh, no, it’s nothing like that.” That news she probably could’ve handled much better.
The oddest smile tugged at his mouth. “I happen to have some experience with bottling things up. Believe me when I tell you it’s better to just let it out.”
Hannah nodded. “Okay. Well, I know you’re aware of the drought in Texas. Other states are having problems too, of course.” She realized she was picking at her fingernails and stopped. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I told my dad he should buy a grazing permit and ship his cattle here.”
Seth’s brows went up. “Wow. That’s—there’s a lot to consider. The initial expense can be sizeable, and it’s not easy crossing state lines—”
“I know.”
“You do?”
She gave up trying to swallow and nodded.
“Sherwood?”
“Mostly from my own research, but yes, he gave me information, too.”
A muscle worked in his jaw. “How long have you known you wanted to do this?”
She stared down at her hands. “Not long.”
“You told me you didn’t know anything about grazing permits.”
At his cool tone, nausea churned in her stomach. “I didn’t, not until I started asking about it. We saw the sign for the town meeting that first night, remember?”
“And you didn’t think to tell me about your plans?”
“Your family doesn’t need BLM land, so I didn’t think it mattered... No, you’re right. I’m making excuses because I screwed up and I...” Her mouth stopped working.
“Hannah, you’re a smart woman. You have to know it’s not about the land or whose herd is grazing where. I told you I didn’t want to get involved.”
“Right, and that’s partly why I didn’t tell you—” Between the anger and hurt on his face and the sound of her feeble excuses she wanted to curl up and die.
“So, you knew before we went to the meeting. That’s why the questions. Later I asked you why you were taking notes and you lied.” Seth sighed. “The meeting with Sherwood...”
“No, that was accidental.” When had she become such a damn coward? “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to hate me, and that’s the truth. But now you probably do hate me and I don’t blame you.”
“Or maybe you just wanted to keep me on the hook so you’d have a playmate for the week.”
“Seth, please, you don’t believe that.”
“Goddamn it, Hannah.” He shoved a hand through his hair, his expression a complete wreck. “I laid it all out for you. How I’d let my family down. I told you how it had taken me ten goddamn years to make things right. Jesus, you knew my past with Jasper. You didn’t think I would’ve cared about getting involved with him in any way? Or making my family a target? Because you weren’t exactly an innocent bystander like I was telling people, now were you? And there’s a whole lot of ways someone can spin my association with you.”
She couldn’t speak at first. “I’m sorry. So very, very sorry.” She struggled to recall the advice Rachel had given her. Mostly she drew a blank. “Honestly, all I could think about was helping my dad save his ranch.”
“You don’t even like the man.”
“That’s true,” she whispered.
“So what am I supposed to think about your feelings for me?” He snorted, shaking his head. “Right. Vacation playmate. I forgot.”
Hannah flinched. “You’re angry. Of course you are, but after you calm down I hope you realize that isn’t anything close to how I feel about you.”
She wasn’t sure he was even listening, or had heard a word she’d said. He just stared out into the darkness, the muscle working in his jaw.
“I left my family open to gossip because of you. It doesn’t matter if the rumors are true or not, you know how that works. And the real kicker, if you’d been honest with me from the beginning, I would’ve defended you. Hell, I would’ve helped you figure out if it was feasible to bring the herd. But you blindsided me, and now I can’t even defend myself. Not after Jasper gets wind of this.”
“I’ll make sure he understands I hid everything from you,” Hannah said, wanting desperately to take his hand, but she didn’t dare. “I’ll make sure everyone knows. Even if I have to take an ad out in the Gazette.”
Seth just shook his head.
“I’ve checked out of the Sundance and moved my things to my car. I’m going to be staying at the motel. Try to put some distance between me and the McAllisters. And—” She cleared her throat. “And you. I’m assuming that’s what you want.”
His reply was nothing but tension
-charged silence that threatened to smother her.
“I’ll hang on to your clothes and toiletries until you come by the room. Unless you want to handle it differently.”
“So, this deal is a sure thing?”
Head down, she nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”
Seth let out a humorless laugh. “You’re trying to please the man at all costs. Hope it ends up worth it.”
“I’m trying to help him save the—” Indignation died on her lips. That was a lie, too. Her motives had little to do with saving the ranch.
He put the key in the ignition and started the truck. It was her cue to get out.
Hannah hesitated. But did she really have anything left to say that wouldn’t just make him hate her more? “Sorry” didn’t seem nearly enough.
She got out and walked to her car without looking back.
19
THE FOLLOWING MORNING Hannah sat on the edge of the motel mattress with her tablet and handwritten notes, her back to Seth’s side of the bed. Or what had been his side for two unforgettable nights. But it wasn’t now and never would be again. She’d finally stuffed his pillow in the closet an hour ago because it was just too painful to look at.
After four hours of choppy sleep, in between tossing and turning, trying to remember how the week had unfolded, trying to pinpoint the perfect moment she should’ve confessed to Seth, Hannah had accomplished nothing. Other than to feel twice as exhausted and too depressed to form rational thoughts.
What was wrong with her? She was smarter than to think the problem would’ve resolved itself. Her damn stupid father made her so crazy she couldn’t think straight. And yet it was no excuse.
She picked up her phone and stared out the window. There wasn’t any view to speak of, but the sky was so blue and beautiful it lifted her spirits a tiny bit. She couldn’t help wondering if she were to kill the deal, tell her dad she was wrong, would Seth forgive her?
Of course he wouldn’t. The damage had been done. It wasn’t about a small herd of cattle. She’d deceived him. Made a fool of him and hurt his family. She doubted she could ever forgive herself.
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