by Linda Ford
“She and Emmett would have gotten along well.” Tessa sighed. “Her struggles must have been very difficult for you to watch.”
“Agony. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone you love hurting, helpless against their suffering. I’d have taken her pain if I could have.”
While the final days with Abby had been bleak and hopeless, in the beginning there’d been good times. Even after Owen and Alyce had been born, there’d been good days mixed with the bad. He sometimes got caught up in how things had ended and forgot how they’d begun. The further time slipped into the past, the easier it was to forgive. He missed her; he missed who she’d been before time and trouble had blighted the optimistic girl he’d once known.
“We can’t change other people,” Tessa said sadly.
He’d laid himself open, exposing all his secrets. The time had come for Tessa to answer his questions. “Why did you lie to me about Emmett?”
She braced her hands against his knee and stood, and he reluctantly withdrew his touch as she moved away. She disappeared into her room and returned again with a distinctive clothbound ledger. He’d seen her studying the book before and vaguely wondered about its contents. He’d assumed it was some sort of diary.
She scraped a chair nearer to his, creating a distance between them. “Are you certain you want to know?”
“I’m tired of secrets and lies, Tessa. They rarely do anyone any good. I’m ready for the truth.”
*
Tessa gripped the book between her hands, her knuckles whitening. Shane had been honest with her. She owed him honesty in return. “Emmett makes his money gambling and swindling land grabbers.”
There. She’d said it. Except she didn’t feel the relief she’d expected. With the ledger clutched between her hands, the rest of her explanation locked in her throat. She didn’t want to leave, and if he knew the whole truth about her past, she feared his reaction.
“Emmett is a good man,” she continued. “Truly, he is. Kind and generous. But he and Abby had many traits in common. He enjoys living on the edge of a precipice. Emmett is at his happiest when he’s closest to disaster. When I was growing up, he’d win us a fortune, then spend it all in an instant. He always needed a challenge. If there wasn’t a challenge readily available, he created one.”
Shane crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw tight. She missed the soothing touch of his fingers in her hair, the gentle warmth of his comfort.
“What about you?” he asked. “How did you get along?”
“Fine, really. I know that my childhood sounds terribly unconventional, but after what I’d been through, I didn’t mind. When I was very young, all I knew of Emmett were the stories my mother told. He wasn’t suited for domestic life. I believe my mother thought having a child might settle him down. Except that didn’t work. Eventually, he looked at us as his jailers rather than his family. After my mother passed away, I lived with relatives.” She paused, catching her breath. “They did not enjoy having me around. Emmett came for a visit and realized that I was—I was unhappy. He saved me from that miserable fate and I’m eternally grateful to him.”
“Was this family called the Hensons?”
Tessa reared back. “How do you know their name?”
“You mentioned them when you were ill.” He touched her hand. “I know they were unkind to you.”
She tugged her hand from his reach and wrapped her arms around her body. She’d always been ashamed by their treatment. “They had other children. I was the outsider. Emmett saved me from all that. Don’t you see? He did his best.”
“He was your father, Tessa. It’s his job to protect you. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know that.” She laughed hollowly. “He can’t help himself. He tries. I know he tries. We argued last spring. I wanted him to settle down. I was so weary of moving around all the time. I wanted something permanent and lasting.”
“Is Emmett mixed up with Dead Eye and the Fultons? Is that why the outlaw was looking for you?”
Her cheeks suffused with color. “It was all a misunderstanding. The Fultons blame him for something he didn’t do. He’s been trying to fix things, but it’s complicated. It’s difficult.”
“Does your father realize the danger he put you in?”
“Of course! He loves me. Truly, he does. He’s just, well, he’s just Emmett. He does what he pleases. Everything always turns out right for Emmett.”
Shane pushed off from his seat and turned from her. He braced his hands against the kitchen table, leaning forward.
A sudden chill settled over her. “What are you thinking?”
“Why didn’t you ask for Emmett’s help before? In Wichita.”
“I couldn’t find him. After his trouble with the Fultons, he disappeared. I wasn’t certain if I’d ever see him again.”
“Now he’s back. In Cimarron Springs. Why?”
“To check on me, I suppose.” The answer sounded false even to her own ears. “You must believe that he’d never do anything that might hurt me.”
Shane’s mood prevented her from saying anything more. She doubted he’d be pleased to hear Emmett had wanted her to help him rob someone.
“Like getting involved with a gang of thugs, then disappearing and sending them after his only daughter?”
She stood and laid a hand against the tense muscles of his back. “Please don’t be angry. I thought he’d settle things. Emmett always has a way of slipping out of difficulty. I was certain this time would be the same. I’d have never put your family in danger if I had known he wouldn’t resolve this.”
“Our family. It’s our family, Tessa. Don’t you see that?”
She pressed against his back and wrapped her arms around his waist. He didn’t understand and she didn’t want him to. “Like it or not, Emmett is part of our family as well.”
She’d been willing to walk away from Emmett forever all those weeks ago. Realizing she may never see him again had shocked her from her callous indifference. As long as Emmett was alive and near, there were always possibilities.
“He should have been there for you, Tessa.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.” Shane didn’t call her on the blatant lie, and she appreciated his tact. She’d done a dreadful job looking out for herself and they both knew it. “Please, don’t let this stand between us. I know we can work things out.”
He turned and they were standing only inches apart. He leaned forward and slid one large hand between her neck and the hair falling over her shoulder, tugged loose by his gentle touch earlier. Her heart began an erratic rhythm. The skin where his fingers touched tingled with the contact.
“If we…if I…” she mumbled, enthralled with the way his thumb stroked the line of her jaw. Fascinated by the rapid pulse beating in the hollow of his neck. His gentle touch set her nerves to attention. Smoothing her hands over his shoulders, she threaded her fingers behind his neck. Feeling emboldened, she raised on tiptoes and his mouth swooped, engaging hers with a swift eagerness. His lips were firm and resolute, yet silken and pleasing.
Long seconds later he lifted his head and studied her face. His eyes held an intense look. Her stomach fluttered. She hugged him close, feeling his rapid breathing. What a fraud she was, what a traitor. She’d happily divulged Emmett’s secrets while keeping her own.
The ache of loneliness weighed on her chest. The girls from the Harvey House had welcomed her without reserve, but she’d always held back a part of herself, keeping the full truth hidden.
Her whole life she’d been hiding. As a child, her mother had hidden the truth of her father’s activities, keeping up the appearance of respectability. Emmett, on the other hand, had treated each day as a new adventure. He adored the new personas they created and relished starting over again and again. Tessa was weary of starting over. She craved security and permanence.
With Emmett in town, how long before Shane realized the extent of her involvement in his
previous schemes? She was not without guilt. Even at eight years old she’d heard enough about Emmett from her mother to understand the choice she was making in leaving with Emmett rather than staying with her relatives.
The words stayed frozen in her throat. Once again she reflected on the precarious nature of their relationship. They were building trust with each other, yet she couldn’t bring herself to reveal the truth about herself. She simply wanted to be held and comforted. His arms tightened around her and she imagined, just for a moment, that she was the person he thought her to be.
She’d tell him the truth. Soon. But first she wanted to savor the feeling of being cherished.
There’d be time enough for the truth later.
Chapter Seventeen
The following day, Edith arrived at her usual time. After exchanging pleasantries, the kindly woman shooed Tessa out the door. “Go on, now. I’ve got everything under control. Enjoy your time with Shane.”
A blush tingeing her cheeks, Tessa met him on the porch. He was dressed in his work clothes today and her gaze was drawn to his mouth. She liked kissing him and he seemed to like kissing her as well. Their relationship had changed since last evening. The difference was slight, but encouraging. She glanced down and frowned. Though a bright afternoon, Shane held a kerosene lamp.
Her frown deepened. “Where are we going?”
His expression grew somber. “We need some peaches. Come to the root cellar with me.”
Her heart tripped and she dug in her heels, violently shaking her head. “No. I’m not going back down there.”
“Sooner or later you have to face your fears.”
“No. I don’t.”
He reached for her hand. “I’ll be right there with you the whole time.”
As he talked, he drew her inexorably forward. She let him lead her across the clearing even though she had no intention of accompanying him down those awful stairs.
She hadn’t gone near the root cellar since the accident. The boys were always willing to fetch her anything she needed, and she repaid them in slices of pie for their trouble. The arrangement was working well for everyone.
Shane squeezed her fingers. “It’s just a hole in the hillside with jars of peaches.”
“And spiders. And mice. And snakes.”
“They’re more afraid of you than you are of them.”
“Don’t be so certain.” She returned his good-humored grin with skepticism.
He paused his step, faced her and cupped the back of her neck. “I know you can do this.”
Blood rushed in her ears. He was right. It was only a hole in the ground. Nothing to be afraid of.
“Promise me you won’t leave.” A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold shook through her. “That you’ll be with me the whole time.”
He reached for her hand once more and tugged her forward. “Absolutely.”
As they reached the propped-open door, he faced her once more. “Are you okay? Are you ready for this?”
“Of course I’m not ready for this. I’m terrified.” She squared her shoulders. “You go first.”
“I’ll go first.”
Juggling the lantern in one hand, he descended a few steps. Tessa followed him and rested her hand on his shoulder. With his free hand, he crossed his arm over his chest and covered her fingers. The loamy scent of the damp dirt sent her heart racing.
She swayed and Shane paused.
He swiveled in the narrow space and caught her hand. “We can stop here.”
She shook her head. “No. I want to go on. I want to go further.”
He backed down the next step and she followed. Ever so slowly, they descended the last step. Lunging forward, she wrapped her arms around his middle and pressed her face against his chest. He held her that way for a long time, then crouched and set the lamp on the floor.
She opened her eyes a slit and glanced around.
He didn’t say anything, letting her wrestle with her unease. There was nothing to be afraid of down here, and yet the disquiet remained. Memories came rushing back. Emmett often left in the evenings. The best pickings are after midnight, he’d say. That’s when the real men come out to play. He’d douse the lamp and lock the door, thinking her asleep. She’d relight the lamp and stare at the ceiling. She’d listen for every thump, every footstep and every jiggle of the doorknob until he crept back home.
Her whole body trembled and Shane put space between them, gripping her forearms. “We’ll go.”
“No.” She sniffled. “It’s not that. I was thinking of something else. I didn’t even realize until now how much I feared being left alone. When I was younger, Emmett often worked late into the night. He left me alone. There was no other way. I think…I think that’s why being down here bothered me so much.”
“Childhood fears don’t always end with childhood.”
“He told me not to be afraid, but I was.” She flashed a watery smile. “You’re right, though. I do feel a little better now.”
She inhaled a deep breath and searched the brightly lit space. Everything had changed. She didn’t enjoy being down here, but she wasn’t terrified either. Facing her fear had blunted the force of the effect.
They spent the rest of their time together walking hand in hand along the frozen creek bed. Shane didn’t ask about Emmett, and she didn’t offer any more information. It was enough that they were together.
They returned to the house and Edith waved them inside. She handed Tessa an envelope.
“Almost forgot,” Edith said. “Someone dropped this by the telegraph station for delivery, and I told Jo I’d bring it by.”
Tessa recognized Emmett’s flamboyant scrawl immediately. She tore open the envelope and scanned the contents.
Dear Tess,
Please join me at the hotel tomorrow for lunch. Noon. I have important news for you.
Emmett
She glanced up to where Shane was replacing the lantern on the shelf in the kitchen. “Everything all right?” he asked.
If she went tomorrow, she’d be walking straight into a trap. Emmett never called her Tess. Which meant he was sending her a message: Don’t come.
Nothing would ever be all right again. “Fine. Emmett wants me to have lunch with him tomorrow.”
He was warning her.
Edith tilted her head. “Who is Emmett?”
“My father. He’s staying in town.”
“Well, land’s sake, child. Why didn’t you say so? I’ll come by earlier tomorrow. There’s nothing like family, is there?”
Tessa gave a distracted nod.
She folded the note and scored the seam with her thumb. “Thank you, Edith. I’d appreciate the time with him.”
Since John Elder had spotted the abandoned campsite, she’d known things were bound to come to a head. Too many separate pieces were converging. Emmett had arrived and the Fultons were hot on his heels. Or maybe it was the other way around.
This thing had to end, one way or another. If the Fultons had caught up with Emmett, it was just as well. If they were setting a trap for her, that meant they wanted something. If they wanted something, she had leverage.
If they had Emmett, they knew by now he didn’t have the money. There was even a chance Emmett had talked them into going after the bank teller. Either way, she’d never know unless she walked into their trap.
Once she’d paid Emmett’s debt, they’d finally be free. Then she’d tell Shane the whole truth of her past. If he still wanted her as a wife, she’d put her heart into their family. If he chose to let her go, so be it.
Either way, she had to see this through. She’d already faced one fear this morning. It was high time she faced her other fears as well.
*
Something was wrong.
Just like the day Tessa had fallen down the stairs, Shane hadn’t been able to shake the feeling all morning. John Elder had sent a messenger from his ranch over that morning. Seemed that some of Shane’s cattle had wandered onto E
lder land. He and the men had been riding the fence line searching for the break.
They’d searched for hours before finally discovering the breach. He knelt before the separated barbed wire and studied the neatly clipped ends.
Milt planted his elbow on his saddle horn and glanced over his shoulder. “What you got there, boss?”
“Someone did this on purpose.”
“You think it’s them rustlers John Elder saw the other day?”
“Maybe.”
His nerves thrummed. “I don’t like this. Let’s go back to the house.”
There was something wrong. All his instincts urged him to return to the house. He mounted his horse once more. “Did Tessa say when she’d be back?”
“According to Edith, she’ll be back before suppertime.”
Though Shane felt better knowing Red was keeping an eye on things at the ranch, worry gnawed at his gut. There were too many odd events coming together too quickly. First John Elder had spotted poachers on the land, then Tessa’s dad had arrived, and now his fence had been cut.
Not to mention Tessa had taken for town, and he didn’t entirely trust Emmett Spencer. Being with her father should have been the safest place for Tessa. She’d said he was harmless, and Emmett sure put on a good show. Cimarron Springs had seemed the securest place for the two to meet up. Everyone knew everyone else, and the poker games were tame since the marshal had cleaned up the town. Shane’s unease remained. Considering the man’s activities, he was a danger.
Even if it meant dealing with Tessa’s anger later, Shane needed his own assurances.
He motioned for Milt. “I’m riding in. You okay with that repair?”
“I’ll have it fixed in a lick. I’ll follow the line, see if there’s any more breaks. Check for strays.”
“Wheeler will stay and help you finish up.”
He kicked his horse into a lope and made it back home in the wag of a dog’s tail. He slowed the animal to a walk the last hundred yards, cooling him. Red asked if he could remove the saddle and curry him down.