I loved you so much it scared me.
He’d said it was because of what he felt for me that he’d left. How could I believe that? How could I trust him?
Mama sat with me until I calmed down. When I was ready to talk, I turned to her.
“How did you know daddy was the one?” I asked.
Mama’s face paled a little. We didn’t talk about my dad. It hurt to bring him up.
“Well,” she said after a while. “I couldn’t forget about him, no matter how hard I tried. I chose to make a life with him because a life without him would have been impossible.”
That was exactly how I’d felt about Drake. I’d been a child, then. But I still felt like that, now. What did that mean?
“What did he do to you?” Mama asked after a while. She watched my face, carefully.
“He told me he loved me,” I said, not looking at her. She was quiet for a while. I glanced at her. She was frowning.
“That’s what upset you so much?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know if it’s true. He said he couldn’t stay away from me. He wanted me to go with him.”
“Where?” Mama sounded a little alarmed.
“I don’t know. Somewhere we can build a life, he said. Together.”
Mama didn’t say anything. She just sat with me. My head was spinning. I didn’t know what to do. Every part of me protested it because he could hurt me again, and if I was away from my support network – Mama – how would I cope?
But he’d hurt me by leaving me behind. And this time he wanted to take me with him. A part of me – a small part buried deep down inside – wanted to go. Not just because of Drake, even though being with him sounded like a slice of heaven, but because the freedom was something I wanted. I wanted to be able to break away from the responsibility of keeping a family of four afloat. I wanted to get away from being the mom who looked after everyone and being the dad who provided for everyone. I wanted to have a chance to be young again.
“Do you love him?” Mama asked suddenly and the question knocked me from left field.
“What?” I asked, my voice thin.
“Do you love him?
I gaped at her.
“What do you mean?”
My mom shrugged. She’d never liked Drake. She’d hated him even more when he’d broken my heart. Why would she ask me what I felt for him if she didn’t agree with it?
“I don’t understand,” I said.
“It’s not a difficult question, sweetheart,” she said. “When you love someone, you can’t really stop it from happening. If your heart wants to go, you should go.”
I looked up at her.
“I can’t,” I said. “What about you and the girls? Lydia and Cindy? Who’s going to take care of you guys?”
My mom put her hand on my cheek. “Not you,” she said. “It’s not your job. I can do it. I’ve looked after the three of you for years. Yes, youhelping out with part-time jobs has been great. But I’m not going to stop you from living your life, and you shouldn’t feel obliged to make something your responsibility when it wasn’t yours to begin with. You’re free to go, honey.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I’d been working my ass off through college to give my sisters a better future, to allow my mom to sit back and relax a little. Every part of my future had included them, had been for them. Now… I could go? It felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. For the first time ever, I was free.
“I’m not saying you can’t stay, honey. You’ll always be welcome here. And I’ll miss you like nothing else when you go. But if he loves you and you love him, and you believe it might work, then you should give it a chance.”
I hugged her. This woman had been a source of irritation and a source of strength simultaneously throughout my whole life. It had been me and her against the world since the moment my dad had passed away. Now she was giving me something I’d never thought I would be able to reach.
She gave me my life.
“I’m going to start on supper,” she said. “Why don’t you go take a shower, relax?”
I nodded. She got up and left the room and I did as she suggested. I walked into the bathroom and let the hot water run while trying to make a sense of everything that had happened this afternoon. I had permission from my mom to leave, but could I do that? Could I leave the life I had committed myself to, behind? I didn’t know that Mama and my sisters would make it without me.
And what if it didn’t work with Drake? Once upon a time, I’d thought I knew him. It had turned out I was wrong. Ten years had passed. I was someone else, now. And who was he? If I hadn’t known him then, there was no chance I would know him, now.
Going after him, leaving with him, would be like falling into an abyss. I would be jumping with my eyes closed, not knowing if he was the man he said he was; if he was the man that would catch me. And I knew I wouldn’t survive a fall again. Not when it was so big.
I stepped under the hot spray of the shower and the heat relaxed me.
The past week has been so tense. I was trying very hard to get a job and then keep it. What if I gave it up, now? What would I do for my future? I needed to start building a career. I had to make sure there was enough money so that I didn’t live this life, fighting to survive, for the rest of my years. I had no idea if I would land another job like this again. And I didn’t know enough to start my own business, not to mention having finances for it.
I couldn’t go. There was no way I would be able to take that risk. Putting everything together – not knowing Drake, only being at the start of my career, leaving Mama and my sisters – made it all seem too big. I wasn’t going to do it. I was right to tell him to go.
I shampooed my hair and rinsed it before I closed off the water and stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my body and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I looked different. The bright-eyed teenager was gone. Life had started to take its toll on me and it was just the beginning. I had made my decision, but for some reason, I didn’t feel any lighter.
In fact, I felt worse.
Chapter 5
I spent the next week at work feeling going through the motions without thinking about anything. Twice, Sonya reprimanded me for doing the wrong thing. The third time she threatened that she would find someone better, that I was still on probation and I could lose my job easier than I’d found it.
I knew it was a threat that was supposed to get me into gear but the truth was I was starting to wonder if it wouldn’t be better to lose it and be done with it. I didn’t enjoy my job. Sure, it was a source of income and it was what I’d always thought I wanted to do. I still had a dream of chasing justice and helping those who couldn’t help themselves. But Sonya was a pain in the ass and Drake was on my mind all the time, no matter how hard I tried to forget about him.
By Thursday I’d had enough. During my lunch break, instead of retreating to the archives and studying case files the way I had done up until now, I left the office. I drove my car all the way to the other side of town even though the trip would cost me double in petrol. The gates to Mouse’s workshop were open – as always – and I parked in front of the office.
Mouse came out, looking tattered. He wiped his hands on a cloth that did nothing to remove the grime from his skin.
“Having some car trouble again?” he asked, nodding to the car.
I shook my head. “No. I was hoping you could help me find Drake? I don’t have a contact number or anything.”
Mouse nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. I could hear the phone ringing on the other end of the line all the way where I was standing and a moment later a deep voice answered.
“Where you at?” Mouse asked.
Drake mumbled something on the other side of the line. Mouse nodded and hung up.
“He’s at home,” he said to me.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
“I don’t know where that is.”
Mouse grinned. “I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared back into his office. A moment later he returned with an address scribbled on a piece of paper. I took it from him and glanced at it. It was in town, somewhere.
“Thank you,” I said to Mouse and walked back to my car.
It took almost half an hour for me to get back into town. I found the address and parked against the curb. The apartment building looked clean and neat. I pressed the buzzer with Drake’s name on it and waited.
“Mouse,” Drake answered. Right. He was expecting his buddy.
“Uh, it’s me,” I said. “Joanna.” Just in case he didn’t know who I was. There was a short silence on the line and then the door buzzed open.
I climbed the stairs to the third floor and walked down the corridor. Drake leaned against the wall just outside the third door, arms folded, cigarette hanging from his mouth.
“What do you want?” he asked, the same way I had when he’d come to me. It wasn’t with the same tone, though. His voice was soft, almost welcoming.
I took a deep breath. “I want stability,” I said. “I want a promise of a future. I want to know that everything will work out. But that doesn’t always happen.”
I paused. Drake nodded at me so I carried on.
“So, after your speech the other day, and the fact that I can’t get you off my mind, either, I was thinking I’ll take you up on your offer. If it still stands.”
I swallowed hard. Drake’s face was impossible to read. He could tell me to go to hell the same way I had. He was quiet for long enough I was starting to feel like it might have been a mistake.
“Does it still stand?” I asked when he said nothing.
Drake grinned at me. “Darling,” he said, speaking around the cigarette, “why do you think I’m still here?”
He took the cigarette from his lips and reached just inside the door, getting rid of it. He stepped closer, pulling me against him. He smelled like smoke and cologne and I choked on memories of our relationship. We stood like that for the longest time.
Finally, he leaned down and kissed me.
It was different than before. Drake had always been assertive and forward, but now he kissed me like he was scared I was just an apparition, that I would evaporate again and he would be left with nothing.
When I didn’t stop him, he broke the kiss and took my hand, leading me into the apartment. I went with him.
I didn’t have time to look around before he kissed me again. I had the feeling the apartment was neat, though, and decorated well. It felt so different than the Drake I used to know. Maybe he really had changed. He said he would prove it to me. Maybe he deserved a chance.
I didn’t have time to keep thinking. His hands were in my hair, his hips gyrating against mine and I felt his urgency, his eagerness. The length of him pushed against my hip bone and my muscles clenched at my core. My lust for him had never gone away. There was something ridiculously attractive about Drake, something irresistible.
And there was no reason to say no, this time. Everything I’d been waiting for was right here in front of me.
Drake kissed his way down my neck, his hands running over my back and then my ass as he worked his way down to my chest. He used one hand to unbutton my shirt, removing the bra with it. He kissed my bare breast. His stubble was rough on my soft skin and it made me shiver.
He returned to my mouth. I fiddled with his belt buckle. I wanted him to know I was okay with where it was headed. I undid the buckle, the button, and the zipper before I pulled up his shirt. Drake lifted his arms to help me peel it from his muscles and pull it over his head. Without a shirt, he was a vision.
He was a god. I put my hands on his chest, fingers in the light dusting of chest hair. He was Adonis, and I wanted to be his Damsel in distress.
Just like it had been all those years ago. This time, though, I trusted that Drake would stay. It was all I could do. With the way he looked at me, I believed that this time he wouldn’t let me down.
His eyes traveled down to my breasts and he stared at them like he’d never seen a naked woman before. He reached for me, placing his hands on my tits. He kneaded and massages me, his thumbs running over my nipples. I gasped, the sensations arousing me.
I lifted the elastic of Drake’s boxers over his erection before pulling it down with his jeans and he sprung free. He was hungry for me, lust oozing from the tip.
Drake did the same for me, helping me get rid of my pants. We were both naked and still in his living room. Drake leaned forward, wrapping his arms around my thighs just below my ass and picked me up. I squealed, putting my legs around his body. He held me up like I weighed nothing and I felt beautiful. He kissed me again, tipping his head up.
He walked us to the bedroom like that and laid me down on his bed. When he crawled over me my thighs fell open for him. He placed himself at my entrance and I gasped. I knew what was going to come. I shivered.
“I’ve dreamed about this for a long time,” Drake whispered.
I nodded. I had too, if I had to be honest. I would never admit it to anyone, of course.
Drake pressed himself harder against my pussy and my body welcomed him. Slowly he slid into me. I gasped as my body yielded and stretched to accommodate him.
When he was in all the way to the hilt he looked at me. His eyes were a deep blue, the color of the ocean, and I could drown in them. He kept his eyes on me as he pulled out almost all the way. He pushed in again and repeated it again and again, faster each time.
Drake picked up the pace and I gasped. He put one hand on my breast, balancing himself on the other hand next to my head. His hips bucked faster and faster against mine and I whimpered. He stirred up an orgasm at my core and I closed my eyes and tipped back my head, letting the sensations take over. Drake’s hand disappeared from my breast and a moment later his lips landed on my neck. He kissed and sucked on the skin, keeping up his rhythm between my legs.
The orgasm built, filling me up like hot water. If he kept going I was going to spill over.
Drake alternated his rhythm, dropping speed and picking it up again, keeping me on the edge. I was frustrated and aroused all at the same time. I wanted to climax. I wanted a release.
As I thought it Drake picked up the pace again. He hammered into me and my body rocked beneath him. I moaned. Our skin was slick where we touched. Drake had abandoned my neck and his breath was hot and heavy in my ear now.
A moment later, the orgasm took over. A wave of ecstasy washed over me and I cried out. My muscles clenched and I curled around Drake’s body, nails biting into his shoulders, my mouth open in a silent scream. I rode out the orgasm with Drake hard and still inside me.
When I finally relaxed, the climax fading, I opened my eyes. Drake was smiling.
“What?” I asked, suddenly self-conscious.
“You’re beautiful when you do that,” he said.
I blushed scarlet. But there was no need to feel shy. Drake started moving inside me again and this time it was for himself. My body was sensitive after orgasming, the muscles clenching down around his cock. I felt every movement and as he rocked harder and faster, echoes of my own orgasm returned.
Instinct took over and Drake pumped into me even faster, his strokes shortening until he pushed into me all the way and his body jerked. I felt him twitch inside me as he released. He claimed every inch of me again and again until, finally, it was over.
Drake collapsed on top of me, breathing hard. We were both wet with sweat and our sex. My heart hammered against my chest, against his. When he lifted his head his hair was wet around his hairline and his cheeks were flushed. He looked like he’d escaped from a GQ magazine.
He pulled out of me, already going soft, and rolled onto his side next to me. He pulled me closer. I lay on my back. He kissed me on my forehead, my nose, and then a peck on my mouth.
“You know I love you, right?” he asked.
I
nodded. “You said,” I whispered.
“And I’m not going anywhere.”
I nodded and rolled onto my side, my back to him. He pulled me against his body, curling around me like a question mark and it felt, for the first time since we were kids, like I was home again.
He said he loved me. He said he wouldn’t leave.
And this time, I believed him.
THE END
Taming The Billionaire
Chapter 1
‘Conceited…’ ‘A complete and utter sex mongrel’ ‘Arrogant rich boy…’ ‘Egotistical, privileged beta male in actuality...’
Big Bad Billionaires Page 37