by Mel Sherratt
‘Yes, without a doubt I know they would have bailed me out. But me, being pigheaded Livvy, carried on with life as I did before – a life I could no longer afford, I hasten to add. I don’t go out much now but when I do, I still have to spend to keep everyone in the dark. At least the argument with my family blew over almost immediately and I still see them regularly. We’re really close and I like that. They do still think I’m seeing Leyton, though.’
‘What?’ Josie was surprised. ‘You haven’t told them he’s gone?’
Livvy shook her head. ‘Maybe I hate the words ‘I told you so.’ But they’d be right.’
‘And what about the flat? Are you behind on your rent?’
Livvy shook her head again. ‘I lease it from my parents. I pay hardly anything so I’ve managed to keep up with those payments. It’s the other things I’m having trouble with, like my credit cards and the instalments on my car. I can’t let them take away my Bessie.’
‘I can help, if you like?’ Josie volunteered. ‘It’s part of my job to offer debt advice.’
‘If you can sort me out, I’d be eternally grateful,’ Livvy laughed, but it was tinged with sadness.
‘Okay.’ Josie thought it was time to throw in a compromise. ‘Providing you tell your parents about Leyton.’
Livvy paused before speaking. ‘Okay, providing you at least think about putting the house up for sale.’
‘I’m not sure. I’m not usually any kind of risk taker. I’m more your average Joe, anything for a quiet existence. Does that make sense?’
Livvy nodded slightly. ‘It does in a strange kind of way. I think what you’re trying to say is that you feel trapped living here. Like a bird with clipped wings – never knowing what’s out there, but you’re too frightened to take a gamble.’
Josie was impressed. ‘Wow. You have me down to a tee. I think I’ve fused my home life with my job. I always feel the need to be looking after someone.’
‘Can’t you specialise in that for your work?’
Josie wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at. ‘My job is specialised,’ she said.
‘I mean, more dedicated to one subject. You seem good with people. You coaxed all that out of me.’ Livvy referred to their earlier conversation. ‘I’ve never told anyone about my debt problem, but you’re so easy to talk to. You listen and you don’t judge. That’s the difference.’
‘You won’t thank me when I cut up your credit cards,’ Josie said with a wicked grin.
Livvy shook her head. ‘No I won’t, but it has to be done.’
‘Right then, you go and get them – all of them – and I’ll get the scissors.’
‘What?’ Livvy shuddered. ‘Right now? Can’t we do it later?’
Josie raised her eyebrows. ‘You see? I said you’d hate me!’
Despite worrying what Scott was getting up to at the flat without her there, the photograph of Stewart was still playing on Kelly’s mind. During her tea break that evening, she searched out one particular person in the staff canteen.
‘Hey, Robbie,’ she pulled out a chair and sat down opposite him, giving him her best smile. ‘Where’s your friend tonight?’
‘You mean Phil? He’s on the day shift.’
Kelly shook her head. ‘Not him. The one they call Mummy’s Boy?’
‘You’re interested in Mummy’s Boy?’ Robbie frowned. ‘What the fuck for? He’s a boring bastard, just a hanger-onna.’
‘I’m curious to know where his nickname came from, that’s all.’
‘It’s because he’s thirty-nine and still lives with his mum.’
Kelly tried to hide her surprise as she ripped open her chocolate. The guy on the photo was definitely Josie’s husband, yet here at work it seemed he was a single man living at home with his mum. It didn’t make sense.
Robbie reached across the table and pinched the second bar. She slapped his fingers and he dropped it, moving back and folding his arms.
‘So what’s his real name?’ she asked.
‘What’s with all the questions?’
Kelly waved to get Sally’s attention as she came into the room. She slid across the chocolate that Robbie coveted. He took a bite before continuing.
‘All the time he’s worked here, no one’s ever seen him with a woman. That’s not to say that he’s gay: no one’s seen him with a bloke either. All we could find out was that he’s never been married, doesn’t go out, he just stays at home. I reckon he’s too tight to waste money renting or buying anywhere else.’
‘What are you doing with the Robster here?’ Sally asked as she took the seat next to her friend.
‘She wants to know about Mummy’s Boy,’ Robbie explained. ‘I’ve just been filling her in.’
‘I could have told you about him if you’d asked. I’ve worked here so long I know everything there is to know.’
‘They say he’ll be loaded when his old woman meets the grim reaper,’ Robbie continued, not one to be dismissed.
‘Who will?’ queried Sally.
Robbie sighed in exasperation. ‘Mummy’s Boy!’
‘Oh,’ Sally nodded in recognition. ‘You mean Stewart Mellor.’
CHAPTER TWENTY
The following week, Emily had gone to the shops with Dot, and Kelly had a rare chance to put her feet up and drink her coffee. Scott – well, he’d gone out about an hour ago; Kelly had no idea where to, but she was eternally grateful that he was out from under her feet.
For the past two hours she’d been cleaning. She’d forgotten how untidy Scott was. He’d leave the mug wherever he finished with it, he’d drop soggy towels over the side of the bath thinking they’d miraculously dry themselves and last night she’d come into a tip when she’d eventually got home from work. It was obvious that someone else had visited: two of every dirty dish stacked in the kitchen sink and a pile of empty cans shoved into the pedal bin. Most probably it would have been Philip Matson: Jay would have tidied up.
Needing some unbiased company, she texted Josie to let her know the kettle was on if she was free. Her shoulders sagged spectacularly. Was it really only a week since Scott had been released? It seemed like a life time already – and as if nothing had changed. Life for Scott had gone back to normal, just in another place.
The fiasco with the spiders had caused another problem. This morning, Emily wouldn’t take a bath until Kelly had checked every single inch of the bathroom while she stood on the threshold of the door. In her mind, she could still hear Scott’s teasing laughter. How could he taunt a four-year-old about her fear of spiders when there were lots of adults who felt the same way?
What annoyed Kelly most was the fact that Scott had agreed to look after Emily while she went to work, yet he’d waited until he thought she’d be gone and sneaked into the flat. Yes, sneaked, she realised, that’s what he’d done. But this was her flat; her name on the tenancy agreement. Was he too stupid to think that nothing would change while he was inside? Because she had – she’d changed into a responsible adult. She went to college and she held down a part time job. She was still reliant on some benefits, but she was enjoying herself as she learned new skills and, once she managed to get a full time job, she’d be laughing.
Or rather Kelly would be, if it weren’t for one thing. She missed Jay. Jay had made her smile, made her forget all her troubles, made her feel like she could conquer the world. Oh, God. Was she ever going to think rationally again?
Her mobile phone beeped, breaking into her melancholy mood. With Josie on her way, she went to unlock the front door.
‘I was only around the corner when I got your message,’ Josie said. ‘I have a few phone calls to make during my lunch break so I only have time for a quick cuppa, if that’s okay?’
Kelly smiled, still marvelling at their unlikely friendship.
‘So how are you getting on now?’ Josie asked, once Kelly had made coffee.
Kelly took a sip of her drink. ‘Okay, I suppose,’ she replied.
‘What about
Emily? Is she coping?’
‘She seems okay,’ Kelly fibbed, but then thought better of it. ‘Actually, she’s not okay. At first she was all over him, Daddy’s back, but now that the novelty’s worn off, she wants to be with me all the time. If I leave the room, she’s right behind me. Even if I’m only popping to the loo, she’ll go and fetch a toy from her bedroom and wait for me in the hallway.’
‘I suppose that’s to be expected,’ Josie sympathised. ‘But hopefully she’ll get used to having him around again.’
‘I’m not so sure. Before he went inside, they used to get on great. Since he’s come back, it’s as if he doesn’t want to know her – nor me, really. He’s continually having a go at me for giving up on Patrick Street. He moans at every opportunity: when I go to work, when I get back from work, when I go to college, when I get back from college. In fact, he’s turned into a right nag. I suppose I didn’t think it would be this hard.’
‘It might not be,’ Josie tried to reassure her. ‘This time next week you could be feeling much better about things.’
‘I know, yet… maybe I hadn’t realised how much time I was already spending on my own before he was locked up. Maybe I put him on a pedestal while he wasn’t here because I was lonely and not because I missed him. I don’t – I don’t want to live like this anymore.’
‘Do you think the relationship was over before he was sent to prison?’ Josie probed gently.
Kelly nodded. ‘Possibly. And now I feel trapped. Because he gave up Patrick Street –’
‘Lost it, more like.’
‘He’s got nowhere else to go. I can’t abandon him.’
‘No one’s asking you to. Despite the fact that I think he’s a loser, maybe you need to give yourself time to adjust. If everything is still iffy after another couple of weeks, then that’ll be the time to do something about it.’
With the sound of the radio playing in the background, they finished their drinks in a comfortable silence. Josie looked over at Kelly, wishing she could do more for her but knowing that it was up to her what happened next. Kelly had to make her own decision; she wasn’t going to influence her in any way.
‘How are you doing at college?’ Kelly asked.
‘I’m finding it hard to fit in,’ Josie grimaced. ‘I’ve already missed two weeks but I only have a few sessions left. I’ll be back on track soon – though that’s only an introduction to counselling. If I want to take it further I have to commit myself to four and half hours a week and it’s double the length of this course. I need to think about it – but I would like to go further with it. What about you? Passed any more assignments lately?’
Kelly smiled for the first time that morning. ‘Yes, another two. I’ve only got two more to do and I’ve finished the course.’
‘And then?’
Kelly sighed. ‘I haven’t got a clue what’s going to happen. And I’m not sure I even want to think about it.’
Over the next two weeks, life changed dramatically for Josie and Kelly. Every evening as Josie got home from work, she wondered if she would get a letter from Stewart, or even a solicitor acting on his behalf, but there was nothing. Every night as Kelly got home, she let herself into the flat with a dread in her heart, knowing full well that it would be in a mess and that she’d have to prepare her own supper. That was if Scott was even at home: already he’d slipped into his old routine, often coming home after midnight.
Every day Josie got used to her freedom, being able to go out with friends whenever she liked. Every day, Kelly missed her times with Jay, finding out that it hurt more as time went on. She’d only seen him twice since Scott had come home.
Every morning that Josie woke up alone, Kelly awoke with trepidation, sharing the bed with a loser.
The old Josie had gone; the old Kelly had gone. Josie didn’t want to be with Stewart; Kelly didn’t want to be with Scott.
Little did these two women realise when their friendship evolved that they would eventually wish for the same things to happen in their lives.
‘Hey, Kelly! Wait up!’
Kelly turned to see Lynsey, Jay’s sister, wobbling towards her across Vincent Square from the direction of the Post Office. She pushed along a buggy, a child either side of her holding onto the handles. It was Monday, benefit collection day for most of the residents of the Mitchell Estate.
Kelly hadn’t seen Lynsey in ages. As ever, she was devoid of make-up, her garish blonde hair tied off her face in a severe pony tail. The warmer weather always brought out strange sights on the Mitchell Estate and Lynsey was no exception. Wearing the shortest denim skirt with a skimpy vest, there was flesh oozing out at every opportunity. But was it still fashionable to have your belly hanging over your waistband? Kelly hid her look of astonishment as she grasped the fact that Lynsey was pregnant.
‘Hiya, Lynsey, how are you doing?’ Kelly greeted her with a smile.
Lynsey ran a hand over her bulging stomach. ‘Up the duff again by the same useless prick that got me pregnant with the first one! You’d think I’d learn my lesson by now. How about you? I heard Scott’s out.’
‘Yeah, he is.’
Emily tugged at Kelly’s hand as Lynsey’s two boys ran towards the bench that sat forlornly in what was meant to be a garden area in the middle of the square. Kelly reached in her handbag for the sweets she’d bought earlier.
‘Share them out,’ she shouted after Emily’s little figure as she raced after them.
‘It takes some getting used to,’ Lynsey added knowingly. ‘My Steve has gone down again. He’s been ringing cars, got six months – left me holding the baby.’ She roared with laughter at her joke. ‘Literally!’
Kelly tried to keep her facial expressions impartial. Deep inside she was horrified. There was no way she was sticking around if Scott got sent to prison for the second time.
‘Things seem to be getting back to normal,’ she decided to say.
In a sad way, it was true. Kelly cast her mind back to yesterday as she watched Emily busy handing out sweets to the boys. Sunday evening, one of only two nights off that she had, and Scott had disappeared again. He’d eaten his tea, grabbed his keys and said he was going to see a man about a dog. No amount of nagging had stopped him. He’d gone out regardless, coming back after midnight when she’d been lying awake in bed. He’d tried to cuddle up to her but the smell of ale had repulsed her and he’d finally got the message.
‘Kieran! Gerrof that wall. You’ll break your bleeding neck if you fall!’ Lynsey screeched at the top of her voice. She turned back to Kelly. ‘You should think about dropping another one.’
Kelly managed to stop her head shaking from side to side. Emily was always pleading for a little sister, but there were no plans on her behalf to increase the family.
‘How’s Jay?’ she asked, to change the subject.
Lynsey threw a thumb over her sunburnt shoulder towards the car park. ‘Ask him yourself, he’s over there waiting for us. He might cheer up when he sees you. Your name always did make his eyes sparkle. He’s been a right moody bastard lately, don’t know what’s got into him. Unless it’s something to do with that bird he’s been seeing. Frankly, you’d think a few dates would cheer him up.’
‘Anyone we know?’ Kelly tried to sound casual.
Before Lynsey could reply, the boys came rushing over and Emily followed shortly afterwards.
‘Mummy, can we go home now?’ she wanted to know.
Lynsey turned the buggy around and started to walk towards the car park. ‘Come over with me,’ she said. ‘Jay will give you a lift.’
Kelly shook her head but it was too late. Lynsey was away before she had time to decline. Quickly, she rubbed a finger underneath both eyes to remove any trace of rogue mascara.
By the time she got to the car, Lynsey was collapsing the buggy and had the baby shoved precariously under her arm as she ushered the boys into the back seats.
‘Taxi for Winterton?’ Jay said with a smile that made Kelly’s inside
s do something weird. She noticed his sideburns were slightly longer and his hair a little shorter.
Jay clucked Emily under the chin as she hung onto the open window. ‘Can we come with you, Jay?’ she asked.
‘Of course you can, monster, but you’ll have to sit on your mum’s knee until we drop the kids off.’ Jay looked up at Kelly. ‘It’s only a couple of streets, though. She’ll be okay.’
‘Kelly’s been asking how you are,’ Lynsey informed her brother as he reversed out of the parking space once they were all in. ‘I told her I’ve fixed you up and you don’t seem very grateful.’ She leant forward and nudged Jay’s shoulder. ‘Lisa’s really nice. She’ll do until something better comes along, won’t she?’
‘Although I’m grateful for your help, little sis,’ Jay flicked his eyes upwards towards the rear mirror, ‘I’m quite capable of finding my own dates, thanks very much.’
‘But you’ve been moping around for ages!’
‘I haven’t.’
‘You have!’ Lynsey nudged Kelly this time. ‘Want me to tell you what I think? I think someone we don’t know about has broken his heart.’
‘Lynsey!’ Jay cried. ‘Do us a favour and shut your mouth.’
‘You’ve only got yourself to blame. You won’t tell me what’s going on.’
Once the tribe had been dropped off, it was only a few minutes’ drive to Clarence Avenue. Almost immediately, the friendly banter that had been present disappeared. Jay turned the radio up to drown out their silence and Kelly concentrated on looking at the passing gardens. Emily was busy singing to some rapper song. Kelly felt slightly alarmed that she knew most of the words.
‘So how are tricks?’ Jay spoke first.
‘Strange,’ Kelly admitted. ‘I feel like I’ve been taken over by an alien.’
Jay eyed her with a frown.