by L. U. Ann
“I know, but I don’t have the car seat installed. Oh, and I haven’t organized the basket you set out to change diapers. We should probably do some more laundry, too. When was the last time we mopped the kitchen floor? This house needs cleaning.” He says each statement in equal seriousness while staring at me in absolute shock.
I laugh so hard another cramp begins to hit.
“What is it? Did I forget something else?”
“No, it’s a cramp!” I shout to shut him up. His face pales.
“I’m getting dressed and we’re going to get you checked out.” He throws the covers off and runs stumbling about to the dresser. “Remember, no labor. No Labor! Now, get dressed. I’ll be in the car,” he zips, grabs his shirt, and as he turns to leave our bedroom, “FUCK!” Hobbling on one foot, he dances in circles. I cover my mouth to hide the stifled laugh at his reaction to stubbing his toe.
Seriously? I’m the one having the baby!
Moaning, he pulls his hands back to drop his foot and inspect his poor little toe. “Fuck that hurts!” And… he turns and walks out.
No. He. Did. Not.
He left me with two whiny dogs and a little boy who needs to be watched. The moment I witness my husband begin to freak out, I stare in awe. He is going to be a doctor and he’s scared to death of a baby. Why? He was so good with Evan. Damn. This is the funniest thing to watch! Crap, he forgot Evan. Shaking my head, I listen to him running back upstairs and into Evan’s room. It must have finally dawned on him. I smile amused by his nervousness.
I sigh heavily in frustration waiting for the doctor to see if I’m dilated. Four nights in a row, I went into the hospital to only be sent home. The contractions are not steady and I am just a centimeter dilated. So far, the doctors believe I will make it to my scheduled cesarean on Monday. Poor Devon is running ragged.
Grandma Pain moved in early so that she could be at the house if we needed to leave in the middle of the night. Waking Evan two nights in a row has created a tantrum-filled monster. He clearly needs a good night’s sleep. The dogs are adjusting to their new home. I am putting them on a leash as much as possible in the backyard telling them where they can go and where they can’t. It has been interesting. I hope when I have the baby, Devon and Grandma Pain will continue my efforts to train them.
Since I was having contractions off and on every day this week, the doctors have me coming into the office for a checkup each day. It constantly appears like our appointment lands close to lunchtime. While Devon waffles his food, I sit there in anticipation too scared to eat in case my baby girl is ready. “What?” Devon asks obliviously.
“I can’t believe you can eat right in front of me knowing I can’t.” I have been advised no food twelve hours before surgery. Therefore, I starved for three days in a row until after the doctor sent me on my way telling me it is not the time.
Today is different. I said screw the rules. I’m eating regardless of what happens. The cold room feels like paradise compared to the hot flashes. I’m getting so big. It may have had something to do with the delicious veggie burger Devon stopped for me to eat on our way here. I was starving. Or, perhaps it was that, plus the French fries. Well, I don’t believe the strawberry milkshake helped any either. Oh, I feel so content I could take a nap. Evan is probably napping as we speak with Grandma Pain watching him. I sigh heavily wishing I could snuggle up next to him.
Other than the cramping that I have been experiencing the last five days, all is good. Everyone can just roll me around cause if I get any bigger, I won’t be able to walk. Lying on the table, I feel like a beached whale. All I need is someone to place a note on me, ‘Just add water.’ Ugh, okay, I’m uncomfortable.
“Well, hello, Mom and Dad. You’ve had quite the busy week, Lacey,” a dark haired man not too much older than my husband greets. Dr. Thomas cheerfully shakes Devon’s hand. Blah, blah, blah.
Not waiting another second, I begin, “I think we should just go over to the hospital and get my little girl out now. Don’t you think we’ve wasted enough gas?” I try pity. “It’s an Expedition. Those things are gas guzzlers,” I finish trying to persuade him.
“Funny, Lacey. Let’s check to see how dilated you are and we’ll see if we can save you guys some gas money.” Devon just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
“You know the drill, relax your legs.” Relax my legs? I hate this part. What possessed him to be a pussy doctor? I mean truly! Do pussy docs go into the profession thinking they won’t get their fill of vaginas outside of work?
“Oh,” Dr. Thomas states, sparing me from my disturbing thoughts.
I raise my head. “What? What is it?” I eagerly ask.
“Looks like you’re going to start saving gas today.” He smiles back at me.
“I don’t understand.” Devon stands up.
“Well, your wife here is four centimeters. We need to get you scheduled now.” Oh no! Of all freaking days, I chose today to eat. Today!
When I glance over at Devon, he appears a little queasy, and I want to burst out laughing forgetting how foolish I was to eat before the appointment. I smile. Devon is probably freaking out because he forgot to change the oil in the truck.
Thoughts overwhelm me. I’m having my baby girl! I lay back and observe the picture they have pinned to the ceiling above the examining table. It’s hilarious they put a picture up like that.
“Wait!” I yell, remembering the pressing issue I must confess.
“Yes, Lacey?” Dr. Thomas asks just before he opens the door.
“Well, I kind of just ate.” My gaze falters.
“Okay, well, it’s going to take about two hours to prep. What did you eat?” he asks.
Guiltily, I begin as heat rushes to my cheeks. “A veggie burger.”
“That shouldn’t present a problem.” His answer has me lifting my head and squaring my shoulders. See, it’s no big deal. Why did the nurses tell me I couldn’t eat? The doctor doesn’t care.
“Umm... and a large fry,” I add.
“Is that all, Lacey?” He lifts his eyebrow. Crap. Maybe he does care.
“Uhhh...” I glance over at Devon, who now is laughing. “A large milkshake.”
“Is that everything?” His eyebrows rise, and they grow larger. Oops.
Shamefully, I slowly nod.
“That’s a great deal of food, you know,” he admonishes drawing the muscles in his forehead together.
“Look, you aren’t the one who starved, STARVED for three days waiting to see if it was time to pop the cork. So, I figured it was safe to go ahead and feed my baby today,” I say, looking downward at my nails peeking at Devon out of the corner of my eyes. “You know what? I bet she was hungry as hell. We should all be thanking me.” I sheepishly go back to inspecting my nails.
“There are a couple precautions we are going to take, but it’s doable. What time did you eat?” I look at Devon for the answer.
“Almost an hour ago.”
“Very well, this is what we’re going to do. I will have the nurse’s schedule the operating room, and you two are going to begin driving your gas guzzling truck to the hospital. Happy gas savings day.” He gushes, shaking Devon’s hand.
As the door closes, Devon stands between my legs to kiss me. “Looks like we’re having our girl today.” He smiles with twinkling eyes. Oh, I love him so much.
“It appears so,” I gush.
He draws me into a hug, turning to begin a trail of kisses up my neck. “Devon!”
“What am I doing wrong?” His sultry voice teases as goose bumps rise on all four limbs.
“We’re in a doctor’s office.” I shun my horny husband.
“But you all ready have your pants off, we’re halfway there.” He leans back wiggling his eyebrows. “Who knows, it might help ease some of that pain,” and just then there is a knock and one of the nurses pops her head in.
“Lacey, we have some forms for you to sign before you leave.” I giggle pushing Devon away and tell her
we’ll be right there.
Once she leaves the room, I gripe, “I cannot believe you just did that! We are in a doctor’s office.” I smack his arm playfully.
“So?” He shrugs and then begins to readjust himself. “I think this is nothing compared to...”
“Quit it! People can hear you.” I point to the yellow painted walls on either side of us.
He laughs until the look on my face turns to panic. Another fucking cramp. Shit!
“Come on, Sugar Pants. Let’s get you dressed so we can go meet our little girl.” He smiles so big. “Fuck, I need to call my parents and Lane and... Crap, where’s the damn list?” It is my turn to laugh. I wonder what it’s going to be like when she fusses. Is he going to immediately run to her first cry and pick her up? Yep, accept it now. He is going to be one of those dads. I rub my belly feeling blessed about it all. I would not want Devon any other way.
The drive to the hospital is about ten minutes. I think Devon wants to get there in two. “Honey, slow down!” I yell as another wave of cramping hits.
“What? This speed bump should help loosen you up in there,” he alludes motioning to his midsection.
“The truck is airborne. That’s not helping.” I hold onto my belly as Devon continues over another speed bump ignoring my request.
Somewhere around five minutes after Devon tried to make the truck fly, we arrive at the hospital. I wish I could have given Evan a kiss. Lane is watching him for us, and she promises to bring him by tonight so he can meet his baby sister. She already has her hands full with Alex. I feel bad asking her to watch Evan, but she insisted Blake would be around to help. I am so ready to meet my baby girl—
“Lacey, what’s the matter? Is it another?” Devon panics immediately grabbing my hand.
I nod, unable to speak until the pain passes. They are growing stronger and getting closer together.
“Hold on, they are getting ready to take you back. You can do this, Sugar Pants.” He gently rubs my head and kisses the top of it. I close my eyes and lean into him accepting the comfort of his embrace.
“Mrs. Holmes,” A nurse calls out into the deserted waiting room. Devon holds out his hand for me. When I set mine in his, sparks hit me. He smiles warmly. I wonder if he felt it too. Unfortunately, I won’t ask because another wave of pain tightens my midsection and his hand becomes a stress ball.
“Holy shit, Lacey!” He tries to pull his hand free.
“Don’t!” I spit through teeth gathering composure to greet the lady waiting.
“Are you okay, Mrs. Holmes?” I nod, trying to breathe a sigh of relief from the pain subsiding.
“We need to get you ready. Here is a gown, make sure you remove everything.” Time begins to move at a very slow pace. My stomach is shaved by a nurse. The contractions move closer and are more intense. “I have to put stuff on, and I’ll be in there in a sec. I love you,” Devon whispers against my lips. I nod keeping my eyes on him as the nurse wheels me away. Entering the operating room where a cheerful anesthesiologist is waiting for me, I suddenly lose some of the confidence I had.
“Good evening, Mrs. Holmes is it?” Is it evening already?
“Yes.”
“I am ready to give you an epidural. Before we begin, do you have any questions for me?”
“Uh... I don’t believe so,” I answer nervously. I hate needles.
“Very well. Sit here and lean over your knees as far as you can to roll your back.” Ouch, really? I don’t remember doing this with Evan.
“Hey babe, how are you doing?” Devon walks in wearing green scrubs. He is so sexy even in scrubs.
“Mrs. Holmes, I need you to lie down.” The hustle and bustle of the operating room begins immediately by placing a large blue curtain blocking our view.
“Who is ready to meet their daughter?” Dr. Thomas asks, walking in with his freshly scrubbed hands in the air wearing a smile behind his mask.
Devon’s eyes smile with a new sparkle glistening bright. His mouth is also covered by a mask, but I know he’s smiling. It’s all over his eyes. “I can’t wait,” he whispers in my ear. Tears sting my eyes watching his excitement, and I am able to tune out what the doctor and nurses are doing to my body. This moment is too surreal to comprehend. My temples throb from the commotion of contemplations. To think I almost lost him and he would never meet our daughter brings tears to my eyes. Thank you God for not taking Devon away. It is hard to think the last time I was in labor my mom was there to help and give advice. I wish I still had her. Why am I thinking of all this when I’m about to bring a beautiful girl into the world?
“Okay, here we go!” The nurses and Dr. Thomas eagerly begin their work.
I keep my eyes focused on Devon. “Sugar Pants, I love you,” he says, and I focus on him through the tugging and pressure I feel from the doctors. Devon’s head jerks and it’s then I look up to find just on the other side of the curtain, one of the nurses is sitting on me. What on earth? Devon tries to peek around and one of the nurses asks him to stay put, not wanting him to see what’s going on. Worried eyes find mine while he rubs my free hand between his—my other strapped to a board consumed by a tube.
“Page NICU stat. Blue skin.” The doctor’s voice has Devon’s eyes big and bright moving to look for his self while he still holds onto my hand. What does that mean? Does Devon know? “And, here she is. Allow the nurses to do their job and hopefully, you can hold her.” The curtain is blocking my view. However, I can tell Devon has his eyes on his little girl. Eight pounds and six ounces a nurse shouts a minute before twenty-one inches long. My heart dances in awe. I think Devon cut the cord, I can’t remember. My eyes become full and heavy. Closing them for a minute, I find solace.
After what feels like an eternity, Devon is sitting next to me saying, “Lane Marie Holmes, meet your Mommy.” His eyes never leaving his little girl. Pride is radiating from every inch of him. She is beautiful. Her lips pout as she rests from the rude awakening. Watching the two of them freezes my heart before it restarts, pounding hard. I suck in a quick breath as euphoria takes away my words, breath, and heartbeat. It all belongs to three other people. I am so in love and want to share this moment with everyone.
Uh, oh!
My sight is blurred from tears. Oh, no! “I’m going to throw up!” The churning within my stomach contemplates my next move.
Dr. Thomas laughs. “I didn’t think that veggie burger would sit well.” He pauses to concentrate on something. “You need to eat some real meat. You know the old saying, Beef, it’s what’s for dinner.” He air quotes. I don’t even have a chance to roll my eyes before I begin the awful dry heaves.
“Hang tight. I just gave you something for the nausea.” The guy standing above my head responsible for keeping my lower region pain-free says hoping to relieve my nerves.
I turn back to Devon and my Baby Lane. “Is she cold?” I ask concerned at her color. “Her poor face is turning blue,” I advise just as a nurse asks to look her over. “Wait, what’s wrong?”
“We just want to assess her vitals. She is full term so the nurses do not believe she needs to be admitted to the NICU. Her APGAR scores were normal.” Sweat beads to the surface of my skin from my scattered thoughts and my heart drums inside my chest. I’m scared.
“Lacey, don’t worry, please. They know what they are doing,” Devon says wiping the spilling tears and not looking too sure himself. He pauses to look over at the team swarming our girl. Turning back, he continues while rubbing the top of my head. “You did such an amazing job. She is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for this gift.”
Devon leans over to kiss my forehead. “She is so beautiful, isn’t she?” I smile, knowing he is already in love with her. Yeah, he’s going to be that dad and that’s okay. She will always be loved.
***
“Okay, Mom, here she is. You can hold her for a couple minutes, but then I need to take her upstairs.” The nurse hands over my precious bundle.
“What? Why?” I ask, not wa
nting to have her leave my side again. “I just got her.” I cry with trembling lips.
“The doctor is a little concerned with her skin color and wants to hook her up to monitors for precautions.” I look to Devon, who is stoic and not wanting to show me how he’s really feeling. Disoriented by the whiplash of events, I turn to Lane. Scared to lose this moment.
“Sweetheart, please be okay.” My finger runs along the side of her face, down her arm, coming to rest with her fist gripping my finger. My chest aches from the unknown, and I silently pray to God and Mom that she will be okay. Tears blur my vision causing Devon’s hand to startle me. He wipes away my tears and kisses my forehead. “Oh, my gosh, Devon, look at her little hands,” I gush while he wraps his arms around both of us. “I can’t wait for Evan to meet her.” I kiss every finger as we count. Devon had already counted her toes. We nestle for a few more minutes before the nurse comes in, taking my baby away from me. I cry withdrawing myself from Devon. My heart is breaking while my chest becomes too heavy to bear. I need to escape. I can’t stand that my daughter was just taken from me. I turn my head and clutch the blanket covering my numb body.
“Good morning, Sweetheart,” Devon greets me with a tight smile.
“Morning? How long…” I start to look around. “Where’s Baby Lane?” He diverts his eyes bringing my hand to his lips. I had her at six-fifteen last night. How can it be morning? “What time is it?”
“It’s,” he looks at his watch, “almost five.” He pauses. “Try not worry, please.” His eyes are sad.
“NO! Please no.” I gulp for air that isn’t within reach. I can’t lose her!
“Honey, no. She’s okay.” I continue to stare full of despondency. “They had to move her to the NICU. She stopped breathing in the nursery when they fed her last night.”
“Wait, they weren’t supposed to feed her and what do you mean she stopped breathing? Why didn’t someone wake me up? I need to go to her!” I shout. Panic overpowers me.