by Zane
He made his way back over to the bar and the bartender bought him a drink he never ordered. Along with it was a note written on a napkin.
Kevin. I’d have said hello, but you look like you’re having a wonderful time with your friend and I didn’t want to interrupt. By the way, you look good tonight. Enjoy.——Mo.
He looked around the room, hoping to see some woman who looked like she’d sent him anonymous emails and beers and notes written on napkins. But what the hell would a woman like that look like? He was flattered, but this was tripping him out. He didn’t like what he was feeling at all. The fact that Mo had been this close to him, that she knows him, and he’s totally in the dark. Yeah, he had an uneasy feeling about it. He wasn’t cool with this, not at all. He searched the crowd, seeing faces of some women he knew, some he’d slept with, some he recognized, most he didn’t know at all. Which one was she? Was she stalking him? No…it could’ve just been a coincidence. After all, he had posted his damn mug shot all over the net. Lots of people came to Mardi Gras and maybe Mo was just one of those people. But damn! She definitely had a brotha tripping.
On the drive home, Mo decided to tell Naomi about her encounter with Kevin. “So let me get this straight. You met this brotha at the center?”
“I told you, he’s a volunteer.”
“You smoked a couple of joints…A couple of joints, Mo? All by yourself? Damn! Girl, two joints would have had my ass in a coma. You need to be careful with that.”
“It was stupid. I know.”
“And then decided to answer the man’s ad from Blackgentlemen.com? And he doesn’t know it was you?”
Mo had to admit, it did sound ridiculous and reliving it again by way of her sister’s mouth wasn’t helping matters any. “At the time, it was cool. It was fun, Nay. Look, I was high. Alright? It made sense at the time.”
“A whole lotta things make sense after smoking two joints. So, he answered?”
“He did. He’s afraid he might know me.”
“He does know you.”
“But he doesn’t know it’s me writing him, Nay. Pay attention. He thinks it’s someone else.”
“Why would he think that?”
“’Cause I implied it.”
“Because…”
“I don’t know, Nay. I was high. Remember?”
“But if you like this man, Mo…”
“I never said I liked him. I just said I saw his ad on the internet. I just thought it was kind of weird, that’s all.”
“You must like him.”
“Nay, I’m a grown woman. If I liked the man, why wouldn’t I tell him?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I mean, if you want to get to know the brotha, you need to step up and tell him.”
“Who said I wanted to get to know him? I’m not interested.”
“Which is why you stared at him all night. That makes sense.”
“Nay, it was a joke. A prank. It was stupid. That’s all. I was…”
“I know. You were high…alright? There’s always an excuse with you, Mo. Always.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’ve always got an answer for everything.”
“And that’s bad?”
“No but…Ain’t you bored? You never do anything or go anywhere. You never step to any brothas and say ‘Hey. I’m diggin’ you.’ Ain’t you bored just…doing nothing all the time?”
“I’m not bored, Nay. I’ve got plenty to keep me busy.”
“That why you spending your nights at home by yourself, running around the house naked, smoking way too much weed, emailing men you don’t even know?”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Sure it was. Time marches on, Maureen. You’d better keep up, Girl, or life’s gonna pass you right on by. Before you know it, someone else will snatch that man right out from under your nose. Then you’ll be wondering what happened.”
“I’m not interested in him, Nay.”
“You said that already.”
manhattan245
The drink was a nice touch, Mo. But I wished you’d have introduced yourself. I’m disappointed you didn’t. What are you hiding? Call me. Please.
Kevin
Chapter Nine
Troy paced his living room floor, wearing a black do-rag and red, silk pajamas, balancing a lighted cigarette between his fingers, fuming over an argument he’d had with Gregory.
“When did you start smoking again, Troy?” Mo asked.
Troy glanced at the burning butt. “I never stopped,” he said nonchalantly.
“You told me you had.”
“I lied.”
“I see.” Sometimes Troy was too passionate for his own good. Especially when it came to relationships. When he was in love, he was entirely too in love, but when he was pissed, that temper of his was hell. “So is there trouble in paradise, little brother?”
The phone rang, and Troy glared at it like he was a superhero trying to incinerate it with his X-ray vision.
“Aren’t you gonna answer it?” Naomi asked. When she saw that he had no intention of answering it, Naomi took the liberty of picking it up herself. “Hello?” She looked at Troy, who was staring her down with his laser eyes. “Gregory?”
“I ain’t here!” Troy yelled out. “Tell his ass I ain’t here!”
“Gregory, can Troy call you back later? He’s not feeling well. Okay.”
“What’s going on, Troy?” Maureen asked.
“I’m p-i-s-s-e-d pissed, Maureen. Or can’t you tell?” he snapped. “That mutha fucka had the nerve to try and get abusive on a brotha.”
“What?”
“No he didn’t,” Naomi said, looking at Mo.
“Called his self checking me. Always talking about, ‘Where you going? Who you been with? Who’s that calling you? How come you didn’t answer my page? Who else you fuckin’, Troy?’ Like who the fuck does he think he is?”
“Sounds to me like he thinks he’s your man, Troy.” Naomi snickered.
“Don’t start, Nay.” Naomi might not have taken this whole thing seriously, but Mo knew when to push Troy’s buttons and when to back off. Naomi knew too. She just didn’t care. “What happened, Troy?”
“Got all up in my face, pushed me up against the wall…You know I don’t play, Mo! I told his ass, I might act like the woman in this relationship, but don’t fuck with me ’cause I’ll put my foot so far up your ass you gonna have to tie my shoe for me. Then, I pushed his ass up off me. You know I don’t play!” Troy took a long, hard drag on his cigarette.
“I know you don’t, Sweetie,” Mo said, concerned. “So did he move out?”
“I put him out, Mo. Which I shouldn’t have even had to do in the first place since I never told him he could move up in here anyway. But you know how men are. First time they spend the night, they leave a toothbrush. The next time, they leave a pair of drawers, then some suits move up in here, then some shoes. Next thing I know, he’s got his hands all over my remote control like he bought the damn TV!”
Finally, Naomi exploded and fell out laughing on the floor.
“Fuck you, Nay!” Troy hissed.
Mo rolled her eyes at her ridiculous sister. “I’m sorry, Troy. I know how much you wanted somebody.”
“Somebody, Mo. Not any damn body! His ass been calling here all day, talking ’bout he’s sorry. Fuck sorry! Sorry was ever meeting his sorry ass in the first damn place!”
Naomi pulled herself up from the floor, and wiped tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry, Troy.” She swallowed. “I really am.”
Naturally, he wasn’t even trying to hear Naomi anymore. Sometimes, her childish ass got on his last nerves. “You need to get over yourself, Nay. This shit ain’t funny.”
Naomi looked at Mo. “What?” She shrugged. “I said I was sorry.”
Troy rubbed his temples with his middle fingers. A migraine was coming on. He could feel it. He sat down, then looked at Maureen. “Stay away from th
em fools on the internet, Baby. Ain’t none of them right. They all crazy. Every last one of them, just waiting to get crazy on folks.”
Naomi mumbled, “Too late.”
Mo glared at the little idiot. “Would you just shut up!”
“Don’t tell me to shut up!” Naomi snapped back.
Mo put her hand up in Nay’s face. “Your mouth’s too big, Nay. Too damn big!”
“What’s up?” Troy asked, relieved that the focus was shifting off his issues and on to someone else’s. Naomi and Mo were too busy being pissed off and neither of them said a word. “Naw…now somebody’s got to tell me something,” he said. “Mo? What’s up, Baby?”
Mo pressed her lips together, determined not to say a word.
“Tell him!” Naomi urged.
Mo knew that if she didn’t tell Troy, Naomi would eventually get around to it and she knew for a fact, she would not like her sister’s version of the story. “I met someone on the internet,” she mumbled.
“What?” Troy grinned. “What did you say?”
“She said she met a man on the net,” Naomi interjected. “Actually, I met him at work. He’s a volunteer at the Center.”
“But she found his ad on the internet, then emailed him, but he doesn’t know it’s her.”
“Can I please tell my own story?”
“Sorry. I was just trying to help.”
“If I needed your help, Nay…”
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You met this man at your job, then found his picture on blackgentlemen.com?”
“Yes.”
“And you emailed him, but he does or doesn’t know it’s you?” Troy found himself trying to make sense of what obviously made no sense.
“He doesn’t,” Naomi answered.
“Yet,” Mo interjected, rolling her eyes at her sister.
“You gonna tell him?”
“I don’t think she will,” said Naomi.
“Troy, it’s not that simple.”
“It’s not?” he asked.
“No.”
“You got a thing for this brotha?” Troy’s voice dropped a couple of octaves every time he stepped into his serious brother mode.
“She likes him.”
“Naomi?”
“You do.”
“So why don’t you tell him who you are?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I’m lost, Mo. How come it isn’t?”
“God! I don’t know, Troy. I want to, at least, I think I do…but…Hell, I’d probably be just wasting my time anyway. What if he’s not interested?”
Naomi stared at her. “What if he is?”
Troy sat back in his seat. “How do you plan on finding out if he is or isn’t if you’re not planning on telling him how you feel?”
“Well, what if it doesn’t work?”
“What’s supposed to work, Baby? Everything isn’t all or nothing, Mo. How many times I gotta tell you that? It’s not about working or not working. Shit, sometimes, it’s just about checking it out. Sometimes, you just got to learn to make the best of the in-between.”
“Yeah, why can’t you just do something for the sake of doing, it, Sis? Some things just aren’t all that serious.”
“I just don’t want to get that close to someone again to…”
“Lose him?” Troy asked. “You and Jon were a phenomenon, Mo. Most people only dream of having what the two of you had, but that’s over now.”
“But that’s what I want, Troy. That’s where I fit best. With a man I love, who loves me.”
“Pay attention, Baby. Look at what you’re doing. You got yourself all shut up, not even trying to attract somebody, simply because you’re afraid it won’t be like it was with you and Jon. Nothing can be like that, Mo. Because he’s gone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make something new with someone else. It doesn’t mean it can’t be just as good with another man, just because it’s different. Brotha might be interested, but you’ll never know if you don’t give him a chance.”
“It might not lead to anything.” Naomi shrugged. “Then again…you can at least have a good time. It could be one hell of a ride, Mo.”
The possibility of starting a new relationship was like being born again. She’d met and lost the love of her life in Jonathan. Nothing can prepare a woman for that kind of joy and that kind of pain. The fear is what kept her shut off from dating again. Fear of never finding what she’d lost. Kevin was a stranger to her. But Mo had been drawn to him since she’d first laid eyes on him. Part of her wanted to write it off as just the desperate needs of a desperate woman. The other part of her knew it was more than that.
manhattan245
You’ve got my mind reeling trying to figure out who you might be. I’m a patient man about some things, Mo. This isn’t one of those things. If there’s a chance you might be someone special, then I don’t want to waste time on silly games. Let’s get together and talk. I’m harmless and we can meet anywhere and anytime you choose. But don’t tease a brotha like this. I’ve been looking for someone to share a life with, not games. At least pick up the phone and call me. Anytime.
“How would I ever explain something like this to him?” she wondered out loud. Mo lay in bed, staring at the sandalwood-scented candle burning by her bed. Even if she ever did come clean, how would she explain her actions so he’d understand. Okay, so maybe expecting him to understand was a huge order. But, maybe if she could just get him to empathize? Maybe that was a large order too. Mo sighed. If the man had any sense at all, he’d have no choice but to think she’s some kind of lunatic. That’s what she’d think if she were him. ‘You’re crazy, lady,’ she imagined him saying. And he’d be right. Mo blew out her candle and decided to go to sleep.
Love was definitely too big a tag to put on what she felt for Kevin. Lust seemed sufficient enough at the moment. Desire was good enough. In-between…well, maybe there was a ray of hope in that too.
Chapter Ten
The day had dragged on, feeling more like twenty-four hours instead of the eight she’d been in the office. Being preoccupied with Kevin didn’t help. He’d been on her mind all day. Troy’s advice had held so much truth in it. She had been avoiding life for fear of being disappointed by it. Actually, until Troy had pointed that out, she hadn’t really noticed that’s what she’d done. There was no guarantee Kevin was the man for her, but how would she ever know, one way or another, if she never stepped out from behind that wall she’d built around herself. Mo wasn’t sure how, or even if, she’d ever be able to explain that whole secret admirer thing to him, but for now, all that mattered was taking that first step and letting the man know she was interested in him, to his face. She’d begin by apologizing to him for her behavior the last time they’d seen each other. It was now or never, in her mind. Tony would be back to continue teaching the photography class next week and Kevin would be gone. If she was going to make amends, this was the time to do it.
He’d arrived a little early to pack up some of his things. Kevin would have to remember to thank Tony for asking him to do this. Teaching the class had been an awesome experience he’d not soon forget. The enthusiasm from the kids had been incredible and unexpected, but what surprised him most was his own enthusiasm. He was going miss these kids. For sure.
“Knock! Knock!” Mo smiled from the doorway of the classroom, looking beautiful and a lot less pissed than the last time he’d seen her. Kevin figured her good mood was probably directly related to his leaving. He never did find out what he’d done to the woman to justify that attitude she threw at him. Didn’t matter now, though. Brotha would do this thing one more time, then he was out.
“So…tonight’s your last class, huh?”
“Yeah. This is it,” he said simply. Somehow he knew the less he said, the more uncomfortable it would make her feel, and he liked that.
Mo’s nervousness wasn’t easy to hide, but she did her best to try to look at ease. “These kids are really going to miss you, Kevin. E
ven more than Tony, I think.” She put her finger to her lips. “Shhhh…don’t tell him, though.”
Hell, he couldn’t help it. He smiled because she was right. And she was cute. “I wouldn’t do that to the man. He did me a favor by asking me to sit in for him.”
Mo laughed. Then an awkward silence stood between them, but she was determined to get past that. She’d rehearsed all day the speech she’d prepared for him. The one where she apologized about how she acted towards him the other day. The speech where she told him how attractive she found him and the same one where she asked him out to dinner if he were free some night next week. Oh, and how she’d need his phone number or maybe she should give him hers so that they could stay in touch. That speech.
“Now that your Tuesday nights are free…any big plans?” Not very smooth, but it was a good beginning.
He shrugged. “Not really.”
She hesitated, hoping he’d say something funny or elaborate, not that answer of his that was much too simple for her to really work with. “Well…we’ve really enjoyed having you here,” she said nervously. “Did I say that already?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think you did.” He didn’t quite know where she was heading, but Kevin was getting a kick out of this. She was squirming, trying to make a point or something, and he was pretty flattered by the whole thing.
“I never said I was sorry…did I?”
“Sorry? For what?”
“For the other day. I was kind of rude to you and…Well…I really didn’t…”
“Hey!” one of the kids yelled out coming into the room. “Mr. D! Whattup?”
Kevin’s face lit up and he and the young man exchanged dap. “Hey, Von. You bring that negative with you, Man?”
“Yeah…I got it.” The young man looked at Mo. “Whattup, Mrs. B?”
Mo smiled. Sadly, Von was her cue to leave. “Hello, Von. How are you? How’s school?”