“Can’t promise, but I’ll do my best.”
He offered his hand and I shook it. Then I turned and began walking across the broad bank of cloudy fluff, away from the Gates. I was on my way back. Back to the world of creative accountants and political spin. Back to the world of super-sized meals and designer drugs. Back to the world of celebrity gossip and quickie divorces. I couldn’t wait.
At the edge of the cloudy fuzz, I took a deep breath and stepped off. Straightaway, I found myself back in the void, but this time I was floating away from the light. I had to shield my eyes from the darkness around me. After all that time in Heaven, I’d gotten used to the light.
Then I was falling. Everything turned black, and all I knew was pain. I opened my eyes. I was lying in a hospital bed. A familiar figure loomed over me—Detective Clyde Harris, a policeman, but a man of honour just the same.
“Welcome back,” he said.
“What happened?” I croaked.
“You don’t remember? You stiffed Bully Malone, but not before he pumped about twenty rounds into you. For a while there, we thought we’d lost you. You’ve been unconscious for five days.”
I tried to sit up, but Clyde pushed me back down.
“Easy now.”
“Clyde, you’ll never believe the dream I’ve just had—”
“You want to hear something unbelievable? Last night, we had a freak thunderstorm. Three bolts of lightning hit the Bostino house and burnt it to the ground. Fried the whole family. Not one Bostino left standing.”
I accepted this information without blinking. After all, a private investigator had to be prepared for all eventualities.
“I can’t take full credit,” I said. “I did have a little help from God.”
“Oh, go to Hell, Jimmy,” he replied.
I looked him dead straight in the eye. I didn’t smile. I said, “No thanks, Clyde, I’ve already been there.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Special thanks to:
Greg Simanson—for design amazingness
Bethany Root—for editorial insight and fantastic story suggestions
Majanka Verstraete—for that final spit and polish
The team at Booktrope, especially Katherine Sears, Jesse James Freeman, Kelsey Wong, Adam Bodendieck, Andy Roberts, Mike Doane, and Kate Burkett—for making me feel like a part of something special
ALSO BY JONATHAN GOULD
Magnus Opum (Fantasy) Join Magnus Mandalora as he sets out on a big adventure in this epic tale of swords and baked goods.
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Contents
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Acknowledgments
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A Fate Worse Than Death Page 19