Dad took Mum’s hand and walked to their bedroom. His voice disappeared into a whisper, but not before I heard, “We’ll keep the sex quiet. No more babies for …”
I slumped onto the table. Would we be okay?
3
TONIGHT WOULD BE the celebration at the end of a long week. I was still Justin’s girlfriend, but since he’d been ignoring me, albeit those few late-night text messages, I indefinitely decided I didn’t want to be anymore. I was done caring when he didn’t. I hadn’t had a chance to speak to Rick yet and had no idea if his stay was permanent. And my parents were distant all day.
When Cara wanted to plan our outfits together, it was a relief to focus on something else. She wore a flowy skirt, a tight top that pushed up her boobs, her dark hair out over her shoulders, and daring charcoal eye shadow to make her green eyes pop. I almost pulled out a typical dress—dark, mid-thigh, thin straps—but then I remembered Justin’s assholeness and I upped the daring factor.
I stood next to Cara in the entrance to the Delaney home in thigh-high black boots with a strip of skin that met my washed-out denim shorts, teemed with a slim white tank top. My blonde hair hung long over my breasts, and Cara had gone for a neutral look with my make-up. I liked that nothing would deter from my outfit.
We soaked in the upbeat atmosphere. It projected from what sounded like the garage, and spilled out down the entry hallway where it met our heels with resounding thuds. Weighted bunches of balloons hung in corners and streamers spread across the ceiling. The Delaney house looked different done up for the party, decked out in music and colours and screams. The ceilings gaped higher, and the pictures on the walls were one of the few distinguishing items to remain, while tables, trinkets, and corner furniture had been moved for space or safety.
Justin emerged sporting a one-sided smile that wasn’t aimed at our faces as he clomped toward us. A guttural growl escaped from his lips as he reached for my waist, and before I knew it, those grabby hands magnetised to my waist, holding me captive. His lips sealed on mine—deep and possessive.
I crushed my hand into a fist behind my back, preventing myself from punching him. The audacity! What was he thinking? His body felt alien as it groped, and a shiver passed through me, confirming the unwanted feeling. We had to get inside, if not for anything else, for him to hear what had been on my mind. He was too late for kissing and making up.
I pushed at his chest to distance us. He staggered back, his breath wild. He hadn’t looked into my eyes yet, not even when he approached.
“Want to fuck later?”
“Justin,” I whispered harshly, “no. It’s a party.”
“Come on, babe. I’ve had a rough day. I need it.”
“No. I don’t want to.”
I wrenched my hand out of his, and I hung back with Cara while he walked back toward where he emerged.
Renée arrived with other girls minutes later, so we all approached Rick. We stood in a line and wished him happy birthday one by one, each of them crushing him into their chests with fierce hugs. They really wanted to rub in those birthday wishes, I told myself, and not the alternative.
When it was my turn, I couldn’t help but recall the skate park and waiting for his kiss after Cara. My face heated, surfacing the hot regret the tears had brought me. I darted my eyes away, feeling small and stupid. I was an inch from his height in my heels and he met me as an equal, wrapping his arms around my waist. It was unlike his customary shoulder pat my other friends received. His kiss was light but lingering, like smoke from shivering lips on a freezing winter morning. I felt our past in the heated air, though he pulled away reasonably and dutifully, an identical smile on his face as he had over and over while us girls passed by him.
“Happy birthday,” we all said in unison and then turned away.
My feet would not back away willingly so I trudged off with stiff limbs, feeling robotic. He welcomed me like he wanted—like my dad did after being away for so long. I didn’t want to leave that behind. The air was comfortable, but I was shivering with the cold prospect for the remainder of the night.
The backyard roller door was up and the crowd scattered outside into the balmy night. We filled cups of punch, downed them, and danced to the music, waving our hands in the air. The atmosphere soon became upbeat, and I felt powerful and sexy in my thigh-high boots.
And Justin’s hands agreed.
For a moment, I pretended like it could have been anyone, perhaps someone who truly did love me. His hands were on my waist, but they were more sensual than his hungry desire at the front door. His fingers spread and pointed to my hips. Tightly pressed to my skin, they passed down my arms, cupping my ass cheeks. I noted exactly where his fingers pressed at my inner thigh, marked by a flush that made the hairs on my skin rise.
I turned. Strangely, Justin just approached and kissed my cheek sweetly before continuing on his path dancing. What was with that change? Was that even Justin touching me? I gulped. Shake it off. Of course it was.
I spun around to Cara and jerked on her hand. “Did you see that?”
“Err, Justin?”
“Well, yes and no. Someone melted me into a puddle of goo with their hands, and I’m not sure it was him. He seemed like he just approached when I looked up.”
“And you said you wanted another drink.”
I shook my head. “Shut up. You’re the drunk one.”
“Clearly,” Cara said, “you are.”
“Fine, whatever. Want another Cruiser?”
“Yep.”
“Renée?”
“Nope.”
I said I would be back and slipped between the throngs of people bumping and grinding, moving like they didn’t care. I wasn’t feeling like another drink, despite wanting one not long ago. I headed to the laundry room to fill a glass with water and ice and to work up the courage to pull Justin aside. Though, I’d have to find him and hang onto him for several minutes to do that, which seemed difficult at this point.
At the entry, I met Rick. Looking up, I took in his clean-shaven jawline; crisp, fitted shirt; sleeves rolled at his elbows. How could the guy be more gorgeous every time I saw him? I glanced down at his black jeans and leather-tapered shoes. Holy shit.
I let out a breath and tried smiling at his face, but I couldn’t hold the intense gaze of his for more than a split second, so I looked down to my boots. I slid past him, and déjà vu slammed into my chest.
Not ready for a laundry encounter like last week, I took a cup and focused on steadying my trembles as I reached for the tap. I dared to look at him and he was fixated on my fingers. Not a moment later, his big hands engulfed mine. My trembles disappeared at his touch.
Rick had a presence around people, but around me, his gravitational pull was overwhelming. And right now, it scared me—wanting to run away, yet also wanting to fall deeper into this moment.
I was with Justin.
Justin was Rick’s brother.
“You okay?” He looked into my eyes and felt my forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re burning.”
I blushed and looked away to hurry some ice into my cup. “It’s damn hot in that garage. It’s crazy.”
“Ah.” He paused for so long that I felt the air thicken in my throat as I swallowed. “It is. But you’re okay?”
Was I? The right answer was yes, but I sure as hell didn’t feel that way. He was my whirlwind, and he’d swept into my world with all-encompassing force, spinning me again and again with our meetings. The hairs on my skin stood on end. “Oh, totally,” I said lightly. “Go on and enjoy your party.”
He remained and looked at me. The corner of his lips turned up, but it felt forced and weighed down by the other downturned corner. His eyes, once warm, were now dreary. Even his body seemed to be slumping.
He turned, but caught himself on the door and smiled. “I am. Trust me, I am.” Like that, he flipped his mood. I didn’t know what caused it or why. Maybe Justin’s whacky behaviour had plagued Rick all w
eek too, and my mention of ‘enjoying’ himself reminded him of that.
“You staying past midnight?”
“Yeah. I mean, maybe, maybe not. Might just leave a tip for your show. I heard they’re all putting in.”
“You want to see the show, Vee?”
I shuddered hearing him say my name. Damn it, the guy’s voice was smooth, yet coarse enough to rough up my insides. I smiled, confident. I wasn’t going to let my stupid drunken head get the better of me. And stuff the water! I was going to grab another Cruiser. I dumped the water and ice down the drain, grabbed a bottle from a pack, and stepped between Rick’s body and the nearby bench.
“Yeah,” I said. “I wanna see it.”
“Before you go …”
I halted, holding my breath, and the sensation of the icy bottle slipped away. I let my eyes roam, and drank him in the way I intended to with my drink. Passionate, private, and poisoning me to sweet surrender.
No touching anywhere wrong. No acting out. No worries.
He opened his mouth to speak, but it hung there, gaping. Rather than exude sexual vibes, it had flipped back to distraught, and it made him look like a big boy. A fragile boy. Like I had to hold him together.
He seemed broken and sad underneath, except as the birthday boy, he wore a cool smile and held his shoulders high—a facade to the rest of the world. Only here, Rick and I were in our own world, one where no barriers existed. Beneath skin deep, I felt the darkness occupying him.
“Birthday hug?” he asked and I answered, “Yes,” at the same time from his previous question.
He leant over me. I watched it in slow motion and my stomach swirled with anticipation. His arm brushed my shoulder and he flicked the laundry door shut. The space was technically the same size, but the room had shrunken. I tilted my head down and inhaled, my nose near his collarbone. My nerves spurred me on while my thoughts screamed at me to stop making a fool of myself. The spice smelt of cologne, but mostly the freshness of frangipani-scented laundry detergent. It was sweet enough I wished I could cuddle up and drift away with it.
Somehow, that whole minute in my head must have only taken a second or two. Rick stepped the other way and yanked down the cord to cover the door window, a view leading to the backyard.
When the blind fell, it was done. The room was closed off. We were alone. For what? This ‘birthday hug?’
I wanted him. Alone. Unseen. But I had no desire to cheat.
He captured me inside his space, his arms around my waist like butterfly wings. My body melted as if he was my heat source and I moulded my chin to the crook of his neck. My hands connected with his chest, feeling his life source beating madly beneath me. I quaked at the touch. Hands gliding, I felt around his contours, up his back until I run out of muscle, then linked my hands over each other and flattened them.
He hummed. Not a moan, nor a plea of pleasure. And it thrilled a spot inside me. Where I was a puzzle piece before—incomplete and in search—our reunion connected it. I had been lonelier than I was aware. My boyfriend hadn’t been there for me for weeks now. He’d been there, oh, yes, how he’d been here, there, and everywhere, but not around me.
Supported by Rick, I felt like a blossoming seed—I’d attached to solid ground and now I was growing with life. I couldn’t recite Rick’s middle name or his favourite dessert, but I could feel his heart against my chest. I could feel the thrum and beat of our bodies in sync. Could feel the residual emotion and heat we’d once had—unsaid and assumed—coming together as one.
Rick parted and hooked my chin in his big, yet soft grasp. His dark eyes held mine, and I couldn’t tear them away. Softly, he said, “Sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry for you, but I am for everything else. So thanks. Thanks for everything when you didn’t have to do anything.” I couldn’t quite focus on his words, as if I was waiting for the punch line to bring it all together, but I felt the emotion behind his voice.
“Thanks,” I said. I didn’t know why I said it back, but it felt right, like the inherent knowledge that simmered to the surface when getting back on a bicycle. There the whole time—understood by the body, even if not by the mind.
Reality sunk on me then, reeling me in. I blinked. Party, blinds, door. Us alone. I yanked the blind up, and Rick turned the doorknob, releasing our privacy.
“Sorry for acting strange,” he admitted. “Like you said, it’s pretty crazy in there and I needed … I needed a break. I’m drunk. I’m … going.” He gave me a parting smile, and it wrapped around my skin, now full of goosebumps in the wake of his departure.
• • •
THE STRIPPERS ARRIVED at midnight, and we could hear their voices from the entry oozing with sex. They went to the garage and everyone crowded around, even those who lurked in small groups outside the front or inside the living room. But the crowd was too large and people spilled into the paved section out the back. Cara, myself, and the other girls linked hands and pushed with the crowd to secure a good spot.
We were in the second row in a circle. In the centre were three chairs, and two guys helped set up poles. To the side lay a long table with some gifts for Rick. I wanted to give Rick my own personal gift, although the girls freeloaded tonight. He and I were barely friends, but I felt compelled to get him something. On one side of the gift table was a box with a slot at the top. I left momentarily to put a ten-dollar note in, and then returned to watch.
It took fifteen minutes for everything to begin but when it did, my heart sped up, and I could hardly think past the excitement. The memory of Rick and me in the laundry had my heart fluttering yet pounding with confusion, and all I knew was I wanted to see more of this guy.
Justin stood in a clump of guys on the opposite side. I hadn’t seen him for over an hour now, and I kept holding my gaze his way in hope he looked, but he was interested in what was about to unfold. He fell into a daze, stared at something or nothing, and then snapped himself back to the scene.
But, Rick—he watched me and held my gaze.
He stood with his arms crossed over his chest. Did he know his biceps bulged like that? Or two veins on either side of his neck were strained? And his tightened lips … did he know how controlled and stern he was? There wasn’t a side to him that didn’t appeal to me.
My mouth was dry and it became impossible to swallow. I ran my tongue over my lips and ran my fingers through my hair. I lifted it up over my shoulders and lolled my head to allow air. When I looked back, Rick had a grin on his face. I feared he knew a whole lot more than he should, probably more than I knew about my own thoughts.
They started chanting Rick’s name, so I joined in. The strippers quickly discovered who he was and strutted up to him. One grabbed his left hand, one his right and the other pulled him forward with the hooks in his jeans.
“Ahem, ahem,” Justin cleared his throat.
The middle stripper kicked Rick down with the tip of her stiletto. He crashed into the chair, fingers curling around the arms tightly.
“So,” Justin continued, “Rick needs to be cleaned. He is a naughty boy who hasn’t been home for over a year. Now he’s back and his clothes are filthy, his mouth needs to be washed out, and he probably needs some attention down below.” Raising his voice, he said, “What do we think, guys?”
Everyone cheered.
The DJ restarted the music as all three strippers magnetised to Rick. One unbuttoned his shirt and tore it off. The other was on her knees between his legs and undid his jeans. I took deep breaths to calm down, but it was hard with Rick lounged back on the chair, arms spread over the sides, and his hands clenched around the ends—probably to stop himself from touching one of the girls. He widened his legs and one girl fit in between them.
Oh, and that little, incy wincy,
teeny weeny factor he had nothing on
besides his royal blue briefs.
I wasn’t sure I could wear that colour again.
The strippers tortured him during their dances. He looked up and down at the
m or called out to the boys, but not once did his briefs tent up. In fact, from his glazed expression, he was miles away with consuming thoughts, such as those ones that overtook him in the laundry earlier. He—I even dared to think—looked possibly bored as those three slim and sexy strippers tried to please him.
The strippers continued, attending to Justin’s requests. One opened a bottle of water and decided both her and Rick need cleaning. She tipped her head back, breasts cradling Rick’s face and poured the bottle down, water gushing all over them. Rick jerked back and forward into her with the shock of the water. Another girl was behind him, and her hands ran up and down his chest. After soothing him, she toed one of her feet down the side of his face, down his chest, along his briefs and back. The other danced by herself, touching her curves, and stripped for Rick to watch.
Something about their confidence reeled in my interest. The way they laughed louder, danced more seductively, flirted heavily with what they could and couldn’t do while bare-chested and near naked looked natural. My body flushed, but it had nothing to do with embarrassment. A sensation had released in me, and it was similar to when I slammed into Rick’s chest at my house.
Two of Rick’s friends soon sat down in the chairs next to Rick, and the strippers departed. They gave both of the other two lap dances. Apparently, Rick would get some more attention later, but he called it quits for now, needing ‘space.’
I left also, heading to the laundry room. Ditching that cool cup of ice water had been a mistake. I needed a bath of ice water. And a fan.
It was only after I left the garage that I unclenched my legs, and I was surprised I had been tensed up at all. I didn’t expect to care, but I realised watching the show I wanted—craved, even—erotic experiences like those girls had performed. All along, it wasn’t me not ready for intimacy; Justin and my dying feelings for him were the issue.
At the entrance, my thoughts were still looping over what I witnessed. I didn’t notice Rick there too until my forehead smacked into his cheek. My hands flew up and pressed against him. I didn’t know where I was or why for a few dazed seconds. I heated with his skin against my palms. I was touching Rick’s bare—incredibly hard and toned—chest. I couldn’t kid myself—this time our meeting was intimate.
The Rental Page 3