“What was that man thinking?” She shook her head, biting her lip and looking around the room.
To me, the room appeared sexed up. She mightn’t have been able to smell it, but I could practically feel the weight of the sweat and orgasm in the air. The bed cover was torn off to one corner, and the sheets underneath were ruffled. My only saviour was the bag of M&M’s although that now had a nasty burn hole in it where Rick had used a corner to put out the joint.
I opened the curtains and the window for light and fresh air. It helped, but only in the way a kettle of boiling water could heat a cold bath.
“I mean, coming here after everything with his brother, overstepping that line, treating you that way. And marijuana?”
I gulped. I lied to Mum about many things and had for a long time. I guessed it started when Justin first gave me some weed to try, years back. It’d gotten worse, and lately, I’d even told her my shifts were starting an hour earlier, so I could head out. In the end, I got bored with having to head out early and smoked for the hell of it.
Bad, bad, bad. It had all led to this moment, and there was no way I’d let Rick take the fall for this.
“You stink,” Mum said, dry retching.
“Mum …” I scratched my forehead, taking in the room, and letting the past several minutes wash over me. “It wasn’t him. None of it. It was my stash and my joint.”
Mum quirked an eyebrow at me, addressing me with a hand on her hip. “So you forced a man almost twice your size and a good half a foot taller than you to light and smoke that thing, did you?” She raised her eyebrows, looking down at me. “Don’t lie for him. You are the one I care about.”
“I like him, Mum. We were watching a movie, and we had a fight. I lit it up, and I was being stupid.”
“A movie?” she cleared her throat. “It looks … messy. Vee,” she edged her hand into her back and seemed in thought. “Let’s go. We should clean the kitchen together.”
So we went, bending, retrieving, and placing dishes from the dishwasher into cupboards and drawers. It was silent for a while, but Mum would look at me when she thought I couldn’t see, and I’d do the same. We both saw, and after several not so subtle busts, she spoke up.
“How old is that man, Vee?”
“Mum, he’s just a boy.”
“That man—well, he looks like a man to me. Wasn’t he quite older than Justin?”
“No, he’s twenty-one. I went to his party a while ago. When …”
“Oh.”
We’d finished emptying the dishwasher, so Mum told me to sit down. She wanted to clean the benches, and it wouldn’t take long. I think she was stalling. They weren’t messy, and the last half a year had turned my mother into a different person anyway. She used to worry about crumbs, but we’d let so much shit gather. Dust on furniture, crumbs on surfaces, wrappers and plates lurking around in the same spot for days—silence to strangers. When she was done, she sat next to me and clasped her hands in front. I kept mine between my legs.
“Guys at that age only want one thing, darling. I don’t want you to get hurt, and especially with what we’ve gone through and his brother …” She half-smiled and brushed some strands of hair from my face, placing them gently behind my ear.
“I’ll be fine, Mum. Rick seems different. He’s genuine.” Truthful sounded ill fitting, and nice wasn’t true. Rick was Rick, and I couldn’t place what exactly I felt for him, but he wasn’t about the bullshit and that I appreciated.
“I don’t think so. No. I don’t want him here again, okay?”
I re-arranged my hands under my thighs. The heat of Rick’s fingers right there, just higher, flooded my sensitive spot, igniting flashes of my cries, and his body and us. Everything in me disagreed with her.
“Okay, Genevieve? Please, darling, I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to you.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled, “okay.”
8
MONDAY MORNING, AMBER called, but I was on a morning reception shift at Smiths Leisure Centre. A long line of school children arrived for their sports swimming class, filing through with slow, trudging steps. They didn’t want to be here and neither did I, but I plastered a wide smile on my face until they disappeared into the steamy swimming section. Then, I punched in the number into the landline that Amber called my mobile from so I didn’t look too suspicious.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Amber, how are things?”
“Swimming ducks, Vee, swimming ducks,” she said, reminding me of our conversation. “I hope I haven’t caught you at a busy time?”
“I’m at a shift at the moment, but it’s quiet.” The centre was always bubbling with loud background noises between the machinery, kids, the pool activities, and the lapping water. I hoped it didn’t sound like I was out somewhere busy and lying to her.
“And Wednesday night?” she asked. “I’ll get straight to the point. We have a booking that night with one of our seasoned rentals, Nix, and the client perused your profile online. He wants both of you there.”
“My first,” I said softly, as if the people several metres away who weren’t even looking at me could hear the scandalous revelation I’d just had told to me.
“Yes, and it’s going to be of the more erotic nature than others we have. I’d normally run through the procedures and such with you myself, but I’m busy with our shortage. Are you free to do a phone meeting maybe tomorrow night …” she trailed off, extending the night softly until it couldn’t be heard anymore. She sounded like she was scheming, and when she spoke again it was confirmed. “Actually, I’m wondering if you’d be more comfortable if you met with Rhett to discuss the aspects of the bookings and the details with having two rentals work together. It’s a great first booking to ease into your lifestyle here. I know at first the idea can be daunting, but a friend will help.”
“Ri-Rhett?” I asked, marginally catching myself. “Are you sure he’s the best?”
“Absolutely. Your client is male and Rhett is everywhere with everyone. He’s a relatively new starter, but he’s a fast learner and knows the protocols and such well. This is an intimate industry, and from experience, it’s easier when you feel more comfortable.”
Amber had no idea what she was saying. Rick made me uncomfortable in many ways. We hadn’t spoken since Sunday morning, yesterday, when Mum busted us. I didn’t know when I’d speak to him again, although we had to speak at some point about some of it. Like how his instinct was to take the blame for me, although I was the fuck-up. Like how my body missed him when I went to sleep that night, and I touched the place he had touched, but I left it unsatisfied, because I could never measure up to what he gave me—and what was the point in satisfaction if it weren’t wholly pleasurable?
Plus, there were other things, ones that ran a cold shiver down my spine. Such as why he’d left all that time ago.
In the last day, I’d considered both options, and neither becoming a rental or crossing my fingers and hoping for work would be ideal. Rick would be mad, or Amber would for crossing her no relationships rule—the latter my intention, at the least, to have some very intimate relations with Mr Delaney whether or not he was mine—or Mum would be for crossing her.
I was going to do this for me. My decision would be like other important ones in life, I supposed—hated by some.
Adolf Hitler killed millions of Jews.
Bill Gates donated billions to charity.
There still was support and outrage in both cases.
I wasn’t anybody special and I wouldn’t be changing or saving lives. It would, however, revive one. Mine.
And, I decided, as Amber waited for my response, that was enough. “Sounds good. I’ll set up a meeting.”
• • •
RICK IGNORED MY calls that day. I gave up after the first several were unanswered and the next few were cut short, and went to his message bank.
I didn’t annoy Rick for the rest of that day, and the next morning sent him a picture message
. I attached an image from Google of the shopfront of a DVD rental store, and next a picture of a male and female business colleague seemingly discussing a contract. It was a stock photo of sorts with a watermark on it, but Rick seemed to have all his marbles and a bit of cheek, and he would have understood it.
He got it a minute later, and my phone rang, lighting up with his name and number.
“Rick Delaney,” I said. It sounded sweet in my head, like I was giving in after my knee-jerk reaction days ago. Out loud, it sounded like attitude.
“Vee.”
It was dark in my room. I hadn’t hopped out of bed. The curtains were hung over the window and my bedside lamp was off. I had to be at work for a lifeguarding shift from mid-morning, taking over the five-thirty opening shift, and would have a short break before switching to lifeguarding and closing up late tonight. The darkness welcomed me with the long day looming ahead.
It was cold since I couldn’t feel the heater gushing, so I had my bed sheets up to my chin. It reminded me of Rick, and hearing him call my name just seconds ago on the phone caused an ache to grow in my belly. I curled into a ball, letting the warmth blanket over me in my cocoon-like shape.
“I got a call from Amber,” I said. “She’s busy but wondered if with us knowing each other, I’d feel more comfortable hearing about the details for a double booking from you.”
“A double?” Rick quieted after this, and I could imagine his eyes darting, the clogs in his head working out what this meant. He’d know, but I could only imagine. “Well, if Amber insisted. Sounds fine. We’ll meet a couple of hours before you need to get ready. Text me the details, and we’ll meet at The Rental and chat in one of the staff rooms.”
I had so many other things to say, but didn’t.
I leant up on my elbow. Since he couldn’t see me, the change in position meant nothing to him, but the slight rise awoke me. I flipped on my lamp, squinting away from the light to adjust. I was ready for the day. Though I’d have mere hours to gulp down what would unfold, and soon after, do said unfolding, I let the possibilities simmer softly at the back of my mind—at least for now. Rick was probably working in the morning, and he helping me at all after we both weren’t thrilled with each other was kind.
“All right. See you then.”
I had the information I needed to pass on to him. Amber had sent me everything later yesterday. Seven p.m. Tomorrow night in Room 107. Nix was the sole rental and I would be the ‘sidekick’ of sorts, I gathered. I told Rick that and the other smaller details.
I rose, ate breakfast, and left the house, walking to my car, wrapped tightly in my coat in the windy winter morning. It was then Rick texted me.
As soon as I slid into the driver’s seat, I ignited the engine and put the heater on full blast. I checked his message.
Rick: Meet me there at four p.m.
• • •
AFTER SHUTTING DOWN Smiths Leisure Centre that night, I drove home, arriving to an even chillier wind than I’d left in. It was nine o’clock, and I tilted my head into my neck huddled within the lapels of my coat for the short dash to my front door.
I was still thinking of the cold, Rick, and The Rental when I stepped up to my porch. My hands were deep in my pocket, fingers looped through the key ring, and clutching my door key when I saw a pair of boots through my lashes.
My visitor had been standing there a while because the porch sensor only lit when I stepped up. Mum’s car wasn’t visible in the driveway, but it would’ve been in the garage as she should be home. I hoped not, however, given I looked up to see it was Cara waiting outside my house.
She’d put on weight since I saw her. Her cheeks and body looked bloated and strained under draping layers; she wore heavier make-up like an extra layer masking her true self; and for some reason, a big grin on her face. “Hi, Vee.”
I tore my eyes away and walked to the front door, holding my shoulder high to block her out. It didn’t work.
“I’m so glad to see you!” Cara leant against the bricks as I tried to hold my keys steady to unlock. “I know we’ve been missing each other, and it has been difficult to talk, but—”
“Right.” I turned the handle and stood in front of the ajar door. “Let’s clear things up. I’ve been avoiding you. I have no interest in keeping up a relationship with the people at that party, including you. I cannot look at your face or be in your presence and not feel sick. Get it? You. Make. Me. Ill.”
Cara had ignored me completely for half a year and I cared more about getting out of the cold than listening to a word more out of her slutty mouth. Her appearance piqued my interest, but it wasn’t enough, and I doubted her reason for returning ever would be.
She sighed. “I was a rat best friend.”
I quirked my eyebrow, pausing. “Agreed.”
“I didn’t mean to, but it doesn’t make it any better.”
I could only agree, but didn’t want to repeat myself, so I waited for her to continue.
“In fact, I could answer twenty questions to you to demonstrate every fuck-up I managed to do in one moment.”
“Thanks, but no thanks, Cara. High school is over. I’m too busy and I have other stuff in my life to take care of. I don’t have time for catch up.”
“I don’t want to play games. I need you back in my life. Please.”
My teeth chattered. “I need to go.”
There was coughing in the background, and suddenly, Mum’s footsteps. I swore under my breath, knowing nothing could be done to avoid the run-in. She opened the door in a robe and stuck her head out. Her hair was bundled up, and she sported a red nose and an otherwise pale face.
“That you, Cara?”
She beamed. “Nicky, hi! I hope you’re doing okay.”
Fuck, did she have to say that? How careless could she be to not realise that would dredge up bad memories?
“I’ve got a bloody cold.”
I looked at Mum. “You went to the doctors?”
“Yup. I’ve been struck down. I can take a couple of days off work. Have some medication and otherwise, just have to wait it out.”
Cara wrinkled her nose. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Colds suck you dry.”
The whole thing was unfolding as if I wasn’t there. Mum giggled and faced Cara. “Are you saying …”
“No, Mrs Wyland. You, of course, look fabulously non-sick.”
“Good save.”
I exhaled ragged breaths through clenched teeth during their back and forths. Cara was not doing this. She was not going to weasel her way into this house, or my life.
It was over.
“Would you like to come in?” Mum swung the door fully open. “We’re so sorry. Both of us have been working day and night and pretty much operating as hermits.”
“No, Mum,” I said, stepping in. I blocked Cara’s path. “She was just leaving.”
“I came to see you, actually.”
“I’ve been down all day,” Mum said before I could answer. She retreated farther inside, making her voice echo. “But I can make you girls a cuppa if you want.”
“Great,” Cara said at the same time, I said, “No.”
Mum’s ears must’ve been blocked up, too because she went through her business, not stopping or calling back.
“One chance. I miss you, Vee.”
I wasn’t sure what it was that made up my mind to let her in.
Part of it was being easier than telling Mum what happened six months ago. I didn’t think of Justin those first few days while Mum, Robert, and I bunkered down together trying to make sense of what had happened to our lives. After that, I didn’t give an ounce of spotlight to what Justin did, and that meant leaving out Cara’s despicable actions, too. I claimed I lost contact with everyone.
Part of it was also the recent exchange with Mum and I, and I felt I needed to protect Rick from Cara. I didn’t want her knowing I was speaking to him again in case she was in close contact with Justin. I doubted Rick wanted to let Justin kno
w about our reunion, either. Agreeing with Cara would give us privacy away from Mum who could’ve innocently said something.
We sat at the stools under the kitchen bench with our cups of tea, drinking them both silently and in large gulps. Soon after, we went to my room. For a split second, Cara hesitated about sitting on the bed. Cara, Justin, and I spent nights hanging out in my bedroom, on this very bed. Did Cara and Justin do stuff together on my bed? For how long were things going on?
That was why I blocked all that stuff. The hammering feeling in my chest as I had now would’ve been overwhelming to experience all that time.
Cara sat there after the extended silence, but the memories were overwhelming to take with so much wrong between us. I sat on my desk chair and swivelled around to face her.
“I’m sorry about back there.”
“I don’t care if you are or aren’t.”
“I was just so desperate. Six months, Vee! I was going bat-shit cray cray without you. I didn’t realise how much you made a mark in my life until I spent every moment wondering about what I’d done and how you were.”
“Did you think of me when you were with Justin?”
Silence had never been so heavy. The air had turned to mousse and with every passing second, it expanded. It compressed down on me, shortening and shallowing my breaths.
“I figure it doesn’t matter now.”
I asked, “What doesn’t?” Before it hit me, I fell for Cara’s trap. I seemed interested. And it shifted the balance in a way I didn’t want it to.
“He offered to supply me a night’s worth of coke if I fucked him at the party. It’s why I knew about Rick’s twenty-first earlier than you. He said you’d never do something like that, and that he was sick of waiting, and he wanted to be with me.”
“Justin had no cash for …” I shook my head. “Never mind. And you just did it?”
“Not immediately. He asked before, without the drugs.”
“Did you not think about being caught or was that part of the thrill?”
“No, like I said I wasn’t thinking!”
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