"Bye, Hank," I sighed and walked through the door.
* * *
Dinner was takeout Chinese, and I could tell Kathleen still wasn't feeling well. I didn't say anything as she forced a conversation with Jayson and Hank. I picked at my vegetable lo mein and listened without contributing.
"Do you have anything planned for tonight?" Kathleen asked as the table was cleared.
"I was going to read," I said and rose to dump my box in the trash.
"Jayson, why don't all of you go for a swim? The pool's heated," Kathleen suggested.
"I'll consider it," Jayson murmured.
"I'm going to bed and watch television," Kathleen sighed. "I'm trying to get rid of this headache."
"Goodnight, Mom." Jayson leaned in to peck Kathleen on the cheek.
"Night, baby," she said and wandered toward her end of the house.
"I'm going to read," I walked away from Hank, who'd been surreptitiously watching me all through the meal.
"Bree?" Hank followed me.
"I have things to sort out," I said, pulling away from his hand on my shoulder.
"At least come talk to us for a little while. Did you bring a swimsuit?"
"I have one," I shrugged.
"Then let's get in warm water and talk."
"Hank," I moaned in protest.
"Come on," he coaxed. "You can call Jayson an unfeeling, calculating bastard if you want."
"Is he good at math?"
"No idea."
"Then leave calculating out of it."
"Thank goodness, Bree's back," Hank tilted his head and grinned.
"Uh-huh," I nodded.
Hank followed me toward our bedrooms, autocratically informed me I had five minutes to change into my swimsuit or he was coming after me, and stood outside my door for at least two minutes before I walked through the door dressed in a dark-yellow bikini.
"No polka dots?" Hank bent his head and kissed a bare shoulder.
"I refuse to buy polka dots."
"This is perfect," he ran a hand over my ribs and rested it on my waist. "If you walked into the club dressed like this, I'd have to order everybody away."
"I'm not going into the club, dressed, half-dressed or any other way," I snapped. "You want to talk or not?" I walked away from him.
"Is it wrong to want to make them jealous?" Hank caught up with me.
"Hank," I moaned, hugging myself.
"All right, I know it would scare you. Really, they wouldn't hurt you. I'd just have to make sure they knew it would scare you into a catatonic state if they suggested anything."
"You just pointed out the perfect reason not to go."
"You own half the place."
"Hank, it's yours, remember? I don't want it. Consider it your Christmas gift. I'll get Terry to draw up the papers—he won't talk me out of it this time."
"Baby, stop saying that."
"Hank, I can't have a business I'm terrified to walk into."
"Look, nobody will bother you if they know you own half the place."
"You're impossible."
"I could say the same thing about you."
"At least I know I'm impossible. You're just delusional."
"You're saying I lack self-awareness, or harbor a persistent psychotic belief?"
"Oooh, fancy words," I waggled fingers at him.
"Come here, you." I was tossed over Hank's shoulder and hauled toward the pool house. Jayson was already there—turns out, he keeps suits in a changing room at the back.
The overhead lamps were turned out, so only the lights in the pool illuminated the building. Ripples in the water cast an eerie, moving glow across the ceiling. Jayson hadn't waited, either—he was already in the pool.
"Water's warm," he said as Hank set me on the edge of the pool.
"Jumping in or am I tossing you in?" Hank grinned.
"Please don't," I muttered, recalling the last time I'd been unwillingly dumped in water.
"How are you getting in, then?" Hank and Jayson laughed when I sat down on the edge of the pool and cautiously dropped in on the shallow end.
"You're an old woman," Jayson snickered. He didn't know that was actually true. I only looked young. Hank hopped in beside me, giving me the drenching I'd hoped to avoid.
"Thanks," I muttered and moved away from him.
"Come on, you have to stand between Jayson and me while we discuss things." Hank grabbed a hand and pulled me back.
"Sure." My sarcasm was waking up. "What are we discussing?"
"I didn't say we. I said Jayson and me. You get to listen."
"Look, I was drier in my bedroom," I huffed, attempting to move wet hair out of my face.
"Come on," Hank forged his way through the water toward Jayson, who leaned against the side of the pool, his elbows casually propped on the flagstones surrounding it.
"Now," Hank settled me between Jayson and himself. Like Jayson, his elbows were propped on the flagstones. I wasn't tall enough to do that, and only my head and the top of my shoulders cleared the water.
"You're right, this is pretty much perfect," Jayson reached out and ran a hand down my bare belly.
"Hey," I brushed his hand away. He ignored me and the hand came back. They'd discussed me? That was just wrong. And embarrassing.
"Jayson's talking to me, remember?"
"I don't remember agreeing to participate at this level," I snapped as Jayson ran fingers over my ribs.
"Shh, we're talking," Hank soothed.
"What do you think? How envious would everybody be if we took her to a club somewhere?" Jayson's hand strayed to my bikini top. His fingers stroked the skin above the fabric. "They'd be begging to play."
"Okay, I'm getting out," I said, attempting to move away. I was getting shaky already.
"Am I scaring you, little girl?" Jayson rumbled. His fingers raked over my breast.
"Yes. I need to go. Really."
"Bree, Hank won't let anybody touch you. I won't let anybody touch you. Not unless you wanted them to."
"I can take care of myself." Sadly, hugging myself as I shivered didn't serve to convince anybody.
Jayson pushed strands of wet hair behind my ear. "Come on, Bree. We won't make you do anything you don't want to. You're safe with us."
"I don't know that." I didn't, and I didn't trust anybody completely. It just wasn't in my nature to do so. For most of my life, I'd seen everything about everybody, and too many people around me had either proven faithless or had betrayed me in some way. I couldn't trust after that.
"I hope we can convince you otherwise soon." Hank stroked my cheek. "Do you know how beautiful your skin is, baby?"
I wanted to tell him that not long ago, my skin had been marked by too many scars. He wouldn't have found me beautiful, then. Only vampirism had cured that malady, along with a score of other things. "Why are you doing this?" My voice trembled on the question.
"I think Jayson wants in," Hank said simply.
"You remember what I said earlier? About insincere efforts?" I said.
"If I thought this was insincere, I would have gathered you up and taken you straight back to San Francisco," Hank said.
"I don't know what to do with this," I raised a shaking hand to my forehead.
"Hey." Jayson took my hand in his. "I'm not used to something this fragile," he took my hand and kissed it. He had no idea. None at all.
"Jayson, I'm not trophy girlfriend material. I volunteer my time and sometimes end up wading in mud and muck to do what needs to be done. I don't look polished twenty-four-seven. I saw some of those women at your birthday party. They'd jump all over you, no questions asked." I tried to pull my hand away. If I exerted too much strength, he'd know something was up. "Besides, I was strong enough to help Hank move his safe inside the club. Of course, that's when I still thought it was just a bar."
"Want to talk about that?" Hank asked.
"No. Just like I don't want to talk about the flogging or anything else that happen
s there." My breaths were getting shaky.
"She wanted that. Asked her dom for it. Some people like the public aspect of things."
"Hank."
"Baby, we know you don't want that. All you have to do is say no, just like anybody else. No, I don't want to go out with you. No, I don't want to play with you. No, that's not my thing."
"Hank, it can't be that simple and you know it."
"Sometimes it isn't, but if Jayson and I back you up, they'll know you mean it."
"You don't have to back me up."
"I know. You can take care of yourself. Until somebody swats you, that is."
"Look, I was tired and that just went wrong."
"We scared the shit out of you. Admit it. You need to work on that, Bree. Psychologists call it immersion—when you're exposed to what you're afraid of while practicing relaxation techniques or when you're with somebody who makes you feel safe, until you build up a tolerance."
"Hank, please stop."
"I'll stop for now, but we'll get back to that sometime, baby. At the least, I want to make you a little better at talking about it."
"We don't want you to be upset when we go tomorrow for the fire play demo. We're worried that you'll just sit here and freak, which will freak Mom out."
"Jayson, you should have left me at home."
"I won't leave you at home from now on—Mom wants you here whenever I come."
"Jayson, no," I moaned. "I can't do this. I feel like I'm lying all the time. We don't have a relationship."
"We can work on that," he said.
"What about Hank? Are we fooling your mom about that?"
"Hank will be available whenever he isn't working. I don't care about that."
"You'll care if somebody catches your supposed girlfriend out with another man."
"You think I haven't learned to fly under the radar?" Jayson grumped. "Besides, it'll just be casual dating, if anybody asks."
"Sure. We just went into complicated territory." In the Reth Alliance, nobody would blink about multiple mates. On Earth, monogamy was the ideal but often not the reality. It didn't keep everybody from pointing fingers, either. Cheating was big business in the journalistic arena; Jayson should know that better than anybody.
"Bree, you worry too much," Hank sighed. "Jayson's been seeing subs for years. San Francisco isn't small town America. He doesn't flaunt it, and as long as he doesn't rub it in anybody's face," Hank didn't finish.
"This is crazy. Jayson, go find somebody else. I don't think I can do this."
"You can."
"I'm getting out." I pulled away from both of them.
"Bree, it'll be platonic until you say you want otherwise," Jayson called after me.
Great. He'd get sex elsewhere. He just wanted a public friend with almost-benefits.
* * *
"Rome, you'd best take care of her when I can't," Hank growled and lifted himself out of the water.
"I can do that. Trina keeps an eye on her whenever she's at home as it is."
"Were you telling me the truth when you said you cared about her?"
"Yeah. She pulls at me in some way, and I can't explain that. Wasn't sure I wanted it, either. I like my freedom, and the minute she said she didn't care that I played, well, that's enough for me."
"Don't ever put her in danger, Rome."
"You think I'd do that deliberately? Mom would never let me live that down."
"It should be that you'd never let yourself live that down."
"Look, I'm still sorting that out, all right? This is all new to me."
"Just remember that it's really new to Bree. She has no idea what to do about this, and it's scaring her."
"You going to bed with her?"
"Planning on it, unless she says no."
"She won't."
* * *
Kay's Journal
A moment of lucidity. I have no idea how I ended up in the groves—somehow, Kalia must have found a way to slip out of the house. House. It wasn't a house. Hordace Cayetes' palaces couldn't compare to this house. I knew Bill was worried about me. The others were worried, too. The difference was that Bill didn't seem threatening to me—he loved someone else, and I could see that easily. Trajan frightened me for other reasons—he growled at Ashe on the best of days.
In the few moments I had to myself, when Kalia wasn't terrified and taking over both of us, I wondered about that. Ashe frightened Kalia. She knew—so much better than I did—that he wanted sex. It's strange, but Kalia had too much experience with sex, and none of it had involved love. I'd never had sex, and certainly had nothing to compare any of that to. We could find no compromise on this, either. Kalia's last memories of sex had been with torture, at the hands of Iversti Foculis. I'd killed him for her, because he was evil and needed to be stopped.
That was my secret—Kay's secret. I'd only killed twice in my life, and both times had been out of necessity. It looked completely natural, too—the official cause of death, according to medical reports, was massive stroke. I think if Kalia had my gift, so many others might be dead as well.
"Kay, what are you doing out here alone?" Ashe stood before me, a stern look marring his handsome face. Kalia roared to the surface and I was lost.
* * *
Breanne's Journal
"Hey," Hank climbed in bed beside me. I curled into a ball. "You took a shower, didn't you? You smell nice."
A shower was the only way to get the scent of pool chlorine out of my hair, so I'd shampooed, too, when I hadn't planned to do that. "Your hair's still damp," Hank scooted in behind me. A hand reached up and stroked my jaw. "Baby, polyamory works better if all parties know and like each other."
"I don't want to know Jason's playmates."
"I know. That was a stupid thing to say. He'll never commit to them, and most of them don't want it, anyway."
"Hank, I am truly confused. Until I met you, I'd never had sex with anybody. Look at me, now. I'm a slut. A lying slut."
"Bree, I want you to take that back. That is a terrible insult, and the worst part is you handed it to yourself."
"What good can come of this, Hank? Really?"
"I know other people involved in polyamory. They get along great. Some even have a group commitment ceremony."
"Oh, lord." I covered my face with a hand.
"It's not legal according to the law, but they have one anyway." Hank rubbed the back of my neck. "I've even rented out the dungeon for that and for collaring ceremonies."
"Hank, hush. Please."
Hank didn't reply, he just kept rubbing my neck. "Hank," I finally sighed.
"What, baby?"
"They really want that? To wear a collar and kneel and all that stuff?"
"Yeah. They'll tell you they want it. They go looking for it. It's not for everybody," he slid a hand down my ribs and over my hipbones. "Just a fraction of the population does, but it makes them happy—they have what they want."
"Maybe we'll talk about this again—when I'm not so freaked," I sighed.
"See—you've come a long way already. I remember your face when you met me at Bogey's after you found out about the club. You were so pale and shaking. Come here. I'm gonna make you come and then let you sleep."
* * *
Someday, I want to wake up with Hank still in the bed. That didn't look to happen, though. My thigh and abdominal muscles ached pleasantly—Hank knew how to make that happen.
Kathleen didn't look good when she showed up for brunch served in the breakfast nook, and she didn't eat much. I was beginning to worry. Hank and Jayson left around noon for their extracurricular activity, after Kathleen had pleaded a headache and went back to bed.
Deciding that reading might distract me from worrying about Jayson and Hank, I settled down to read a book on my tablet. An hour later, I almost flung the tablet across my bedroom—two things had happened. One, Hank and Jayson had been held up by traffic and what I'd seen in my vision had come to pass—the girl involved in the demo
nstration went up like a torch and two, Kathleen Rome was having a heart attack.
* * *
"Where do you think she is?" Trajan asked. Ashe had sent mindspeech a few days earlier, telling his Second-in-command that he had some information on Breanne. Trajan finally agreed to come to Ashe for a talk.
"Traje, I don't have the slightest idea. At least I know why that is, now," Ashe combed fingers through his hair with a sigh.
"Why is that, then?" Trajan's deep-brown eyes raked Ashe's face for any clues.
"She's what I am. Well, not exactly what I am. She's the Mighty Heart. Ren and I both worry that she's making a target of herself, although Ren's son, Graegar, warned her to be careful. The enemy has her power signature now, after that bit of foolishness on Tulgalan."
"So you think saving four million is foolish? She's in danger? Remind me again why she's not safe here with me."
"Look, I feel bad enough about that as it is, and to learn that she might be able to help us with Kay? That's a punch in the gut."
"So it's still about you." Trajan rose and walked away.
"Trajan, I'm sorry. Every time we talk about this, I end up with at least one foot in my mouth."
"Well, maybe it's fair, then, that we're both frustrated." Trajan disappeared.
* * *
Breanne's Journal
I didn't have time to call an ambulance or try to find Kathleen's driver. I lifted her easily and folded space to the best heart hospital in the area. The receptionist barely blinked before shouting for a gurney, and Kathleen was wheeled into a room quickly.
Discreetly Pulling Kathleen's purse to me, I offered her information to the clerk, whose eyebrows rose considerably at Kathleen's ID. She ran from the room, was gone for a few minutes and then returned, looking flustered. I lowered my shields to learn that Clerk Susan was Presbyterian, had three kids and recognized Kathleen Rome as a huge contributor to the hospital.
"Are you family?" Susan asked.
"Yes," I replied, mentally crossing fingers behind my back. What else was I supposed to do? I'd already attempted to call Jayson twice, then texted him. Obviously, he either wasn't answering me or had his phone turned off. I tried Hank's cellphone, too, and got the same results.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Raymond," a surgeon in green scrubs stood before me. "Mrs. Rome will need a bypass—she has severe blockage and we'll do our best to rectify that."
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