When I had arisen that morning the first thing I thought of was the party and the dress I would wear, which was most becoming. Elizabeth’s sewing woman had altered it to fit me and I could scarcely wait to play the part.
My mother said: “You’ve changed lately, Damaris. You’re growing up.”
“Well, it’s time I did,” I said. “You sound as though you don’t want me to.”
“Most mothers want to keep their children babies as long as possible.”
“And that,” I said, “is quite impossible.”
“A sad fact we all have to realise.” She put her arms about me and said: “Oh, Damaris, I do want you to be happy.”
“I am,” I said ecstatically. “I am.”
“I know,” she answered.
Then I started to tell her about my dress, which I must have described to her twenty times before, and she listened as though she was hearing it for the first time. She seemed reconciled. I hoped she was getting over that first unreasonable dislike of Matt.
It was warm when the sun rose and chased away the morning mists. The summer was nearly over. “In the autumn I shall have to go,” Matt had said.
The only sadness at that time was the thought that it could not last.
But before he goes he will speak to me, I thought. He must.
I was not quite fifteen. It was young but obviously not too young to be in love.
In the afternoon I went to Grasslands. I was going to wear the Elizabethan costume for the whole evening.
“We can’t get you all dressed up like that in five minutes,” said Elizabeth. “Besides, all those in the charades will wear their costumes.”
“It makes it like a fancy dress ball,” I said.
“Well, let us call it that,” she said.
She took great pleasure in dressing me, and how we laughed as she helped me to get into what was called the under propper, the purpose of which was to make my skirt stand out all round me. Then I put on—with Elizabeth’s help—the dress, which was magnificent in a way, though perhaps it would seem a little tawdry by daylight.
“It has been lying in a trunk for a long time,” said Elizabeth, “but it will look really fine in the light of the candles. No one will see where the velvet is scuffed and the jewels bits of glass. How slender you are. That is good. It makes it easier to wear.”
The skirt was rouched and festooned with bows of ribbon; it was lavishly sprinkled with brilliants which might look like diamonds in candlelight.
“You make a good queen,” said Elizabeth.
Then she frizzed my hair and made it stand up and stuffed false pieces into it to make it look abundant. “A pity you aren’t red haired,” she said. “Then everyone would recognise you at once as the Queen. Never mind, I believe she wore wigs of all colours, so this is one of her nights for brown.”
She put a circlet of brilliants in my hair and then when she added the lace ruff about my neck and stood back to admire her handiwork, she clasped her hands together.
“Why, I wouldn’t recognise you, Damaris,” she said.
It was true. I gasped as I looked at my reflection.
“Who would believe anyone could be so changed?”
“It’s a few deft touches here and there, my dear. We learn that in the theatre.”
When I saw Matt we stared at each other and burst into laughter. He too had become a different person.
He stood there before me in his yellow ruff and his bombasted breeches, which were so wide that it was impossible for him to walk easily. His doublet was embroidered; his hose gartered at the knee, displaying his well-shaped calves, and he wore a little velvet hat with a fine feather curling over the brim. Most important of all was the cloak—an elaborate affair to fit the occasion. It was velvet and decorated with shining red stones and massive glass imitation diamonds.
He looked different. I was glad to see him without his periwig and I thought it a pity that the fashion of wearing wigs prevailed in our times. He looked younger in spite of the elaborate costume and the fact that the cut of the breeches made him walk with a very stately gait.
He bowed to me solemnly.
“I do declare,” he said, “Your Majesty looks most forbidding.”
“It will be for the first time in my life,” I replied.
There was dancing before the supper. Elizabeth Pilkington was a great organiser and she knew how to arrange these affairs. She had asked exactly the right number of guests. Besides members of my family there were several who had come in from the neighbouring countryside.
Matt and I were together throughout the evening.
“No one else could dance with us,” he said. “I feel more than a little cumbersome. How do you feel?”
“The same,” I said.
Everyone admired our costumes and said how they were looking forward to seeing the charades, which were to be the highlight of the evening.
I had never enjoyed a party so much before. This one I wanted to go on and on forever, although I was a little apprehensive about my performance in the charades.
“You’ll be wonderfull,” said Matt. “In any case it’s only a game.”
During the evening he said to me: “I’m getting very fond of you, Damaris.”
I was silent. My heart was beating fast. I had had a feeling that he would speak to me about our future on an occasion like this.
“Oh, Damaris,” he said, “it’s a pity you’re so young.”
“I don’t feel young. It’s only a matter of years …”
He laughed. “Well, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?”
He patted my hand and then changed the subject.
“Thank heaven,” he said, “that we don’t have to speak lines. I should never remember them. I’m afraid I have not inherited my mother’s talent.”
“Your mother should have been Elizabeth. She would have done it beautifully.”
“No, she was anxious for you to do it. Besides, she’s busy being the hostess.”
I was sure that he had been on the point of making some proposal. Oh, how I wished he had!
We should have to wait awhile, of course. Everyone would say I was too young for marriage. I would have to wait until I was nearly sixteen. That was more than a year. Well, that did not seem so bad. I would be Matt’s betrothed. If I only knew that we were to be married in a given time I could wait and be happy.
He took me into supper and I did not notice what I ate. I was too excited. The wine was cool and refreshing and I was nervously awaiting my appearance as the Queen.
Then the moment came.
Elizabeth announced that the guests were now going to see the charades and the audience must guess the words we were acting.
We had taken supper in two of the rooms which led from the hall and it was in the hall itself that the performances would take place.
There was a dais at one end, which was very useful, and a curtain had been drawn across it.
The first of the charades went off very well. Then it was our turn. Behind the curtain Matt and I waited. It would be drawn back and I would be standing at one side of the dais in all my finery and Matt would be at the other. We had two attendants each—all dressed in Elizabethan costume.
There was a round of applause and we went into action. I tried to assume a Queen’s regal manners and Matt was most courtly as the gallant Walter Raleigh.
This was a short scene. The next one would be longer. I looked across at Matt. He smiled at me. He took off his hat and made a deep bow. Then I stepped forward and looked down at the ground and tried to assume an expression of distaste as Elizabeth had taught me. I shrank back and Matt took off his cloak, spread it on the floor and I walked over it.
I looked at him fondly. He bowed. Left the cloak where it was. I put my arm through his and the curtain fell.
There was loud applause.
The curtain was drawn back.
“Take a bow … together,” said Elizabeth from the side of the stage.<
br />
So we just stood there, rather embarrassed, while they applauded.
The curtain was dropped and a small table was put on the dais. I had donned a headdress of black trimmed with pearls which came to a peak in the centre of my forehead. I had put a black cloak over my finery and was seated at the table. Matt had discarded his hat and wore a wig of dark curls. It was amazing how that transformed him.
He was seated at my feet and the others who had been our attendants in the spreading of the cloak incident were seated beside me at the table.
Matt had a lute on which he was strumming and he was looking up at me with an adoration which I found most affecting.
We remained thus for some time. Then those who had been Raleigh’s attendants and were now transformed into Rizzio’s enemies came onto the dais from the other side. They dashed at Matt. One of them held high a dagger, which he pretended to plunge into Matt’s heart.
He looked so fierce that for a moment I was really frightened.
Then Matt rolled over realistically and the curtain fell.
The audience applauded wildly. The curtain was drawn back and Matt stood up.
“Take a bow,” whispered Elizabeth.
So we stood in front of the dais hand in hand and then there was a sudden bark. Everyone turned round. Belle had come into the hall.
She bounded up to the dais, evidently highly pleased with herself. Then we saw that she carried something in her mouth. She laid it almost reverently at Matt’s feet.
“Whatever is it?” cried Elizabeth coming forward. She was about to pick it up when she drew back.
My father had come forward. He knelt. Belle watched, head on one side, tail wagging with delight.
“It looks like an old shoe,” said my father, and I noticed that he had grown rather pale.
“It is an old shoe,” said Elizabeth. “Where did you find that, Belle?”
I lay in my bed thinking about the evening. It had been such fun. I was sure Matt had been going to say something to me … something about our future. But he didn’t, and from the moment when Belle had come in the atmosphere had changed.
Elizabeth had sent for one of the servants to take the shoe away. It was too filthy for us to touch. It was unfortunate that it should be Mary Rook who came. She brought an ash pan and a little broom. Then she curtsied and went out with it, Belle following her.
The charades were over. Our words, “cloak and dagger,” had been guessed and we guessed our opposing team, which was “Gunpowder Plot.”
There was to be more dancing but as I stepped from the stage with Matt, my father had come up to me and said: “Your mother is not feeling well. We’re going home now. You’d better get those things off and come with us.”
So the evening had ended. I took off the clothes in Elizabeth’s bedroom and resumed my own and went back with my parents.
Dear Belle, she had been so happy with her find, so eager to show Matt so that he could join in her pleasure.
And somehow that incident had seemed as dramatic as our amateur acting in charades.
We had been so happy together, Matt and I. I had looked forward to dancing with him again. He danced beautifully when he was not encumbered by those heavy clothes, which did not fit too well. I could not match him but somehow when we had danced together I had felt I danced better than ever before. That was how it was with Matt. I felt different in his company. I felt I had changed my character, become more interesting, more attractive.
That was what Matt had done for me and I wanted him to go on doing it.
It had been a wonderful evening, but I felt faintly frustrated. But I went to sleep assuring myself that Matt did love me.
During the next week a change seemed to have come over everything. My mother was in bed for a few days. She looked very wan when I went in to see her. She was very tired, she said. She certainly looked pale and ill. I suggested she should see the doctor but she refused to do this.
My father was clearly worried about her. It changed the household. Things did not improve when a rumour started that will-o’-the-wisps had been seen in the woods and in that patch of fenced-off land. Will-o’-the-wisps were said to be the souls of departed spirits who could not find rest and came back to earth to try to wreak vengeance on those who had wronged them in life.
My father said that it was a lot of nonsense and he was going to put a stop to it, but when I asked him how he had no solution to offer.
“It was all due to that dog getting caught in a trap there. You know it’s the Rooks who are spreading these rumors.” He was so vehement that I couldn’t help remonstrating with him.
“It’s all a lot of fuss about nothing,” I said. “Father, you must do something with that land. If you turned it into pasture or grew something there or even took down the fences it would be like the rest of the land.”
“All in good time,” he said.
But he was very uneasy. He was worried about my mother, I was sure. She did not seem to want anyone to be with her except him, and when I had gone in to her room once I found him sitting by her bed holding her hand and saying over and over again: “It will be all right, Priscilla. I’ll see that it’s all right.”
After a few days my mother was about again but she still looked strained and ill.
I found it very difficult to settle. Matt did not call for a day or so. I had an idea that he was not sure about his feelings for me and I believed that it was all because of my extreme youth. How I wished I were a few years older!
Oddly enough my footsteps always seemed to lead me in the direction of Enderby. I was becoming obsessed by the place and the patch of fenced-in land. It was because of all the talk about it; the will-o’-the wisps and the gossip that was circulating about something’s being hidden there. I was sure the Rooks had started that.
Oh, Belle, I thought, why did you want to get caught in that trap!
Then I thought of my father, and I really did wonder why he became so angry about his rights over a piece of land which was no good to anyone.
I came close to it. I leaned against the fence and looked towards the house, and it occurred to me that if some nice ordinary family went to live at Enderby it would stop all this gossip. Carlotta must see sense and either let or sell the place.
Then as I sat there I heard the bark of a dog. My heart sank. I thought, oh, Belle, you’re in there again. You’re like everyone else, you are obsessed by the place. What is the attraction?
If my father discovered Belle in there he would be angry, I was sure. There was only one thing to do. That was climb over the gate. Find Belle and get her out.
There was certainly something eerie about the place. I found myself looking about nervously. Had people really seen mysterious lights about the place? Were there such things as spirits which could not rest—people who had sinned on earth and perhaps died by violent means before they had been able to repent? Will-o’-the-wisps … lights shining through the trees. I shivered.
I heard the bark again. I called: “Belle. Belle. Where are you?”
I listened. But there was only silence.
I went on through the undergrowth. The fenced-in land was not very large—I imagined about half an acre. My father had behaved really very oddly about it.
“Belle,” I called. “Belle.”
I heard the bark again. She was answering me. Not caught in another trap. No, no one would dare put a trap here after what had happened to Rook.
I saw Belle. She was not alone. I gasped with astonishment for she was on a lead and Elizabeth was with her.
“Oh, Damaris,” she said, “I heard you calling.”
“I was on the other side of the fence and I heard Belle. I was afraid she might be in another trap.”
“She has a fancy for this place.” Elizabeth laughed but her manner was different from usual. She seemed nervous and her hair was untidy as I had never seen it before. She was wearing a dark dress and thick woollen gloves. I noticed that there was mud on her skir
t.
She went on speaking rather quickly. “I heard her in this place and I didn’t want any more trouble so I came after her.”
“You brought the lead. Belle’s not used to that.”
She said: “I saw her leave the house and I guessed where she had come. I was determined to bring her away so I brought the lead …”
I supposed that she had put on the gloves because she thought holding the lead with a rather boisterous dog at the other end of it might have bruised her hands.
“I was doing a little gardening …” she said, as though she had to make excuses to me.
I said: “Poor Belle. She doesn’t like being on the lead.”
“Perhaps I should let her off. Are you going back past Grasslands?”
“I might as well,” I said, “I was just out for a walk.”
So we walked and we talked mostly about the success of the party. We laughed over the charades, and by the time we reached Grasslands Elizabeth was her old relaxed self. But she did not invite me in.
My uneasiness persisted. After my morning lessons the next day I went out again, and once again almost involuntarily I went in the direction of Enderby Hall.
And when I came to the fence I felt an irresistible urge to go into the forbidden territory and look again at the spot where Belle had found the old shoe. I had become adept at scrambling over that gate.
The place was less eerie in the early morning. The sunlight filtered through the trees almost denuded of their leaves by now. I saw two magpies black and white against the sky and a cheeky little robin strutted a few paces ahead of me flicking his tail and his head. I thought sadly that many of the birds would already have left for warmer climes. The swallows, the house martins and my beloved sandpipers.
The oaks were bronze now—the leaves dry and ready to drop.
I came to the spot almost before I was aware of it. There it was. The ground was rough. I went closer. It looked as though it had been recently dug up. Surely Belle had not done all that with her scratching?
I knelt down and touched the earth. It was so still all around me. I suddenly felt an irresistible desire to get away from this spot.
Song of the Siren Page 18