by Bri Stone
Melinda Rose Charles.
That’s what feels right, to have her. Forever.
I don’t care what the costs are.
I’m convinced I was put on this earth and in her path, to pay up.
We stop in the sunset of the evening, we’ve reached campus and passed into the meadow that I brought her to a few times. I know we’re both tired, and just want to go home—but this is the place I first got through to her.
“Whenever you tell me all your dark secrets,” I pause and cradle her face and smile, her eyes widen and I don’t let her interrupt me.
“Everything about you, Melinda. I want it. Good or bad. And I will still love you, I will always be in love with you. I promise you that. But you have to tell me, that you’re with me on this. That you’ll give me all of you. Not just when I ask, or at my beck and call because that wouldn’t be you… but, at some point.”
Melinda exhales a breath that seems to hurt her and blinks back the moisture in her eyes. She lays over my body and nods, slowly but surely.
“Pete…”
“Don’t Pete me, you can’t convince me otherwise.” I smile, I don’t care that I’m putting all of myself out there. Laying on the grenade. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
“I won’t try to…”
“Melinda. I get to do that,” I chuckle once.
“I will, Pete. I don’t know when but—I promise I will.”
I exhale with a breath of glorious relief before I kiss her and hold her to that.
“I’m going to love you forever, Melinda. I promise.” I kiss her hard and fervent. “I promise.”
MELINDA
* * *
“I don’t understand… you quit?”
“No, I didn’t quit. I’m a medical marvel. I took a leave of absence. My research is still running, Nelson took over my service and I don’t have any other obligations. It’s fine.”
“Fine? You live to cut!”
“Thanks, Perrie,” I dead pan.
She smiles across the table and shakes her head at me. I came to see her, once I declared my leave and got my ducks in a row. I hate New York, I only come for her. Too bad she couldn’t take the day off though, so I am breathing in dead people. Even with the smock on, the mask, and the shield, the smell of death is heavy in the room.
“Sorry. But it’s true. Broken bones and building bones. I don’t understand.”
I sigh and move around the table. The cadaver is a younger man, seemingly fit. The gunshot wound to his chest seems like a no-brainer, but the police are on it, so she has to complete the autopsy anyway.
“Me either.” I lie.
I swallow back and wish I didn’t, now I taste the dead. ORs aren’t like this, they don’t have a smell other than cold and sterile. This is a whole new nasty. Perrie starts resecting his bowels and removing them.
“Okay. So, is it about Pete?”
I chill at the sound of his voice. Every day I wake up and think I have just dreamt of seeing him again. But I wasn’t dreaming. He is back at the farm now, I shamefully checked his twitter to confirm. I’m not sure if he actually runs his social media, or if it’s his publicist or something. I’m not sure of the specifics. I managed to not google search him for years, now I check every day and have alerts set up. When he landed at the airport, I knew immediately.
“Maybe. Could be.” I make a face at her getting the blood samples from the four points.
“So—why are you making that face?” She giggles.
“Bones don’t do this.” I shiver and she laughs.
“Okay. How about you help me with this?” she pulls back the sternum.
“No, thanks.”
She laughs.
“Okay, so Pete. Are you going to see him or something?”
“I don’t know.” The thought of stepping on that farm is equal parts terrifying and nostalgic. Because his sisters could very well launch a war with me.
“I don’t understand. The leave of absence. What’s it for?” she stops what she is doing, hands in the body cavity looking over at me. I’m a considerable distance from the table, sandwiched between the other blank one.
“I don’t know yet. But I do know that I have been in school for half my life, maybe I just want to rest.”
She rolls her eyes at me and starts working again.
“That makes no sense. You’re a medical marvel, like you said. You won the Edwards twice; your research has a Presidential seal of approval and people wait years for a knee or hip replacement just so you’ll be the one to do it.”
“I know. And I’m not giving that up. I just need time. When Pete… when I saw Pete again, it’s like I realized I haven’t done anything for the past fifteen years. Nothing that I can really count on, nothing that I was afraid of doing. This… figuring out my life again, it scares me. So, I have to do it.”
Perrie nods as she works. She stops to take photos of the clavicle where the gunshot was.
“There it is, the carotid.” She sighs and takes down some notes and then dictates. “Sorry.” She steps away from the table and faces me.
“I get it. And I’m here for you. But, we went to medical school together, had these dreams—how long will the break last?”
I laugh.
“I don’t know.” Possibly until Pete does or does not forgive me, but I don’t know that for sure yet.
“Ugh, okay. Let me finish up here.”
I nod and wait for her to finish. I’m not sure of the art behind her profession but she seems to enjoy it. Once she finishes, we exit the room and go to wash up. They must use different gloves because my hands don’t smell like rubber or latex when I remove them.
We giggle back to her office, she swings the door open and Thom is sitting behind her desk with his smug grin on. I groan, the memory of feigning irritation in his presence comes back. He looks pretty much the same, he has bounced back well after his remission and looks healthy, pretty similar to how he looked back in med school before we went our separate ways. His dirty blonde hair is longer behind his ears, a faded beard is new and his constant smirk isn’t.
“Hey baby,” he says to Perrie. She goes over and sits on his lap, kissing him hello.
I sidestep and close the door, faking a gag at them.
“Melinda, I’m surprised to see you,” Thom says when he stops sucking face.
“Oh really.” I sit on her small couch. I had to put on scrubs to watch her, the spare blue color.
“How are you?” he wraps his arms around Perrie as she shifts on his lap, her arms around his neck and smile on her face. I still can’t believe he almost died, that he technically did die—I can’t imagine how that would have gone.
“Good.”
“Come on, are we still doing this?” he chuckles.
“Yes.” I giggle.
“Well, I’m doing great.” He smiles, looking right at Perrie and then back to me.
“I know, harvesting human heart tissue in 3-D printers. I keep up with your research.”
“I have to live up to the Edwards name somehow.”
“Well, it’d have been easier if you died from lung cancer, being a cardiothoracic surgeon and all.”
We laugh because he knows I’m joking.
“You aren’t wrong there.” He smiles.
“So, you’re completely in remission, right?” I check.
“Yes, scans every month for the past year. All is well.”
“Good.” I sit cross-legged on the couch and pick up one of the magazines Perrie has. Some home magazine.
“How long will you stay? Do you want the tour?” Perrie asks me.
“I don’t know, your chief emailed me a few weeks ago about giving a talk though,” I tell her. It was the week of the gala before I saw Pete.
Their chief of surgery asked me to give a talk on my research, particularly my approach for bone regeneration and cartilage formation. I’ve given many talks about it, headed many conferences. I can’t remember why I declined
, I might have just been tired that day. But he still asks.
“Yeah, the chief of ortho here talks about you a lot.” Thom chuckles.
I grin, trying not to be smug. I work really hard to I make a name for myself. And I don’t often apologize for just being good because I earned it too. But like I told Seven, it means nothing when I left so much behind and hurt someone in the process of getting here.
“Hmm. Tell them I said hello.”
Perrie and Thom fill me in, make me laugh in the process. It’s nice to catch up in person, it’s different over the phone. I don’t have plans for how long I will stay before I make a go for talking to Pete, if I decide to. Thom is on call so our dinner plans turn to cafeteria food at their usual table, or so they tell me. I don’t mind it though, I’m used to the crazy hours we have. Perrie is lucky though, she rarely has to do all-nighters or work double shifts.
Perrie also tells me the wedding is finally happening soon, they don’t have a date, but they do have a planner. And for them, that means soon. I’m glad though, at least I will get to wear a pretty dress for something.
“I’ll come by your hotel tomorrow morning before you decide what you’re doing.” Perrie hugs me goodbye before I hop in the town car in front of the hotel.
“Sounds good. I’ll let you know after I sleep on it.” I laugh.
She smiles and I see her and Thom wave me goodbye. I’m dropped in front of the Plaza hotel soon enough, and up to my suite soon after. I go all out with the shower and spa robe and room service. A burger, and chocolate cake. Wine, too.
I put football on and watch even though Pete’s team isn’t playing. It’s Thursday, time for football games I suppose. The re-runs are boring because they have already lost the hype. Since it’s May, it’s all about new athletes and drafts too. Pete is a year-round phenomenon since I got up to speed with what he has been doing. His endorsements go anywhere from cereal to watches, and Ford trucks, which isn’t a surprise. His blue Ford truck back in college was attached to his hip, he loved that thing. I watched his commercials on the internet, his interviews, everything about him.
To say I wish I never left him is the understatement of the century. I wish I was strong enough to stay.
“What’s the plan?” Perrie hands me a chocolate covered donut.
I zip my luggage and throw my tote over my shoulder, eating half the donut in one bite. We’re waiting for my ride, in the lobby of the hotel. Perrie came early, in a blue tracksuit, I’m dressed similarly for six in the morning in my sweats and long-sleeved black tee. Before I left, I took my hair down. I haven’t worn it naturally since college. But it’s out, curly and out.
“Uh, the plan?” I play dumb.
She sits next to me and nudges my knee. I sigh, and finish my donut, sipping the hot latte she brought too. Perrie is a good friend.
“Yeah… where are you flying to? Back home to Houston?”
I laugh once, the house sitter is already there. I packed this suitcase, but I hadn’t decided where I would be going. Seeing Perrie was a last-minute flight plan.
“I am flying to Waco.” I murmur.
Telling Perrie makes it real. She squeals and hugs me, I shake her off and she laughs at me.
“This is good. It will work out… he’ll be mad. I’m guessing. But just don’t give up.”
I turn to her, finding comfort in her easy gray eyes and warm smile. She hugs me again and I don’t shake her away, I hug her back. I need someone, my friend, more than ever. I forget that I miss her until I see her again, which isn’t often. When I met Perrie I was fresh off the running away from Pete thing, and I’m not sure I would have made it out a normal person without having a friend. A reliable friend, one that isn’t just for show.
“I won’t give up,” I whisper, and feel her smiling.
I pull back, trying to return it for her. But my car is here now, and it gives me the escape I need. Because I can’t face this just yet, but I know I have to keep going.
I have to go get Pete back.
PETE
Baylor University, Christmas 2003
“I can’t believe, I let you talk me into his again.”
Melinda fidgets in my passenger seat, wringing her little fingers together and biting at her lip. I look over at her and laugh before I speed down the back road to the farm.
“What? It’s nothing, you did it before.”
“Stop laughing at me. It wasn’t easy last time either.” She huffs.
I grin and reach over, tugging her hands apart to hold her hand in her lap for a bit, before I have to change gears.
“They loved having you, it will be fine. And it’s only two nights this time.” We are driving back to the farm today, on Christmas Eve.
After we came back, I didn’t even get to see her much since she was hard at work studying. She has to keep her grades up, so her transcripts look as good as possible when she sends them off for final admissions decisions. She hasn’t given me a definitive answer, of where she wants to go yet. But I didn’t pry her. I kept my distance, unless I was bringing dinner to the library or driving her home when it got dark and staying for a while…I was good right up until the last exam last week and then she went back to work during the day and I took her out at night. But not every night, I like just staying in with her too.
And I couldn’t just leave her alone on Christmas. It makes five months we’ve been together, technically three or four. It feels like a lifetime, a fast, beautiful life with her. Loving her, waiting for her to give herself to me.
“Okay. Oh my god, I had to get them gifts?” she shrieks.
I laugh aloud, “For almost fifty people? No.”
On the rest of the way, I explain how we do our joint gifts in the family. I only get my parents and sisters individual gifts, I mostly order stuff online. But for Phoebe, in particular, I got her a new saddle with her name engraved on it. My other sisters are impossible to shop for.
I pull up in the back of the house, parking in the garage we almost never use. Most everyone is already here, the decorations up.
We get out and walk around the front, I see the little ones playing out by the haystacks with their dads, so I assume my sisters are in the house or something. Melinda tucks under my side, she looks radiant in her simple jean and black sweater combo. I’ve seen every inch of her body, worshipped every inch—it feels like a privilege to know her that way. And it’s impossible most days to stop thinking about her that way too.
“Pete, there you are!” Mom greets me as soon as I walk in the kitchen. My hand leaves Melinda’s as I hug mom back, real tight. She wipes my face and combs my hair back like she always does when she releases me, and then she hugs Melinda.
“Hi Momma. You look festive.” I pick at her red dress with mistletoes printed on the hem.
“Yes, well, you don’t.” She frowns at my frayed jeans and brown Henley shirt.
I chuckle and sit with Melinda at the breakfast nook. I smile and wink at her and the tension in her shoulders melt away. The kitchen is packed with my sisters, helping mom cook and dad is probably working on his famous eggnog, the only thing he can cook. It takes a good while to make rounds and greet everyone, Melinda talks to them so easily, I forget she is ever nervous about being around them. I know that this is a big step for her.
Turns out Momma was making dinner and dessert, so it takes a little bit to get everyone piled into the dining room and sat down to eat. The kids’ table is hard enough to keep from falling over but they manage. The spread is centered around a roasted ham; the potatoes, greens, casseroles, all delicious as always. Melinda and I are exhausted though, and get out of having to clean up, much to my sisters’ disapproval.
“Maybe we should have helped.” Melinda looks up at me from my bed, perched in the center looking cute as ever in one of my shirts with her curly hair tied up.
“Nah, they’re fine. We’re guests.” I shrug, scratching my bare chest. I forgot about sun burn, in the winter time even from training.
“So are they.” She giggles.
I grin and saunter over to her, leaning on the bed.
“You want to wash dirty dishes,” I climb on the bed, “and clean the spit-up from the kids table,” I get to where I am over her on the bed and kiss her. “You want to go back downstairs?” I nuzzle my nose over hers and she laughs.
“No.” She wraps her hands around my neck as I lay over her on the bed.
I steady my weight on my forearms as I cradle her cheek.
“I didn’t think so.” I chuckle, cutting off by kissing her.
She sighs against my lips and I kiss her deeper. My tongue sweeps over her lips, then slides in her mouth to dance over hers. Her thighs wrap around my waist and I lower my body onto hers, pressing into her.
She gasps against my lips when my cock digs into her.
“Pete,” she murmurs against my lips. I pull back and kiss down her neck instead.
“Hmm?”
“We’re—” she wiggles against me and whimpers “—at your parents’ house, we can’t.” She grips my shoulders, the muscles ripple under her fingers as she digs in.
“It’s fine.” I kiss across her neck, back up to just under her ear before I silence her sighs with another kiss.
She kisses me back, with equal fervor. My hips have a mind of their own and I grind into her, she clenches her legs around me and her heat seeps through me, right to my bones. Her fingers curl in my hair as she deepens the kiss before breaking off.
“But someone could see.” She bites her lip, looking up into my eyes.
I smile back at her and shake my head.
“The door is locked… but we can stop.” I shrug and pull back from her and barely get an inch away before she tugs me back.
My laugh fades as I kiss her again. My hands glide down her soft thighs, up her warm stomach and to her breasts. I palm them, her nipples hardening under my touch. She moans against my lips, writhing further on the bed under me. I break the kiss to take her shirt off, and she moves to get me out of my jeans. Her hesitations have dwindled, the longer we’ve gone on.