“I’m feeling good today, and I’m looking forward to seeing how the place has changed. It was too dark to see last night when we were coming here in the buggy.”
“I guess there would be a few changes in the last eight years.”
“Jah, I’m certain there would be.”
“Where did the Millers’ from next door move to?”
“They moved to a smaller haus. The farm was getting too much for them, and now that their boys have grown, they’re working for other people. There was no sense to keep the farm.”
Anita turned to look at the boys, and seeing they’d finished eating, she grabbed a cloth and wiped their faces and hands. Without being asked, Ben and Sam took their dishes to the sink.
“I’ll go out and hitch the buggy,” Hannah said.
“Do you want help?”
“Nee, but you could put the boys’ coats on for me.”
Chapter 4
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you,
that ye also love one another.
John 13:34
* * *
Just when they’d turned onto the road at the end of their driveway, Hannah said, “We’ll be driving past Simon’s haus, and you’ll be able to see how much work he’s done to it.”
When the house came into view, Anita saw that Simon had extended the house. “It looks much bigger than I remember.”
“He’s added a main bedroom, and another bathroom, also an extra living room. And look at the barn.” Hannah pulled the buggy off to the side of the road while they looked over at the barn.
“That’s a lot of work. He’s certainly done well for himself at such a young age. How old is he again?”
“He’s twenty-two and he’s been working for himself since he’s been fifteen. He started off buying and selling horses and made a good sum doing that. He seems older than he is. He’s much more mature than many of the other men his age.”
“Jah. He does seem older from what I’ve seen of him. He’ll make somebody a gut husband.”
“I don’t know if that will ever happen.” Hannah clicked the horse forward.
Anita eyed Hannah carefully. “Why? What do you mean?”
“It’s just that he doesn’t seem to be interested in any of the girls in this community. Amos told him he should travel around the other communities to find a fraa, but Simon said that if it was meant to happen it would happen without him going out of his way. He’s just been too fussy. He’ll regret it when he’s older. There are some girls in the community who like him, and he won’t pay them any mind.” Hannah pressed her lips together and shook her head.
“Perhaps he’s not ready yet, or hasn’t met the right girl?”
“Nee, he’s just being fussy.”
“He does have plenty of time.”
Hannah looked over at her. “You know if you don’t choose quickly, you run out of choices. What’s he going to do, unless someone suddenly joins the community?”
“You mean like an Englischer?”
“Unless he goes and visits other communities, all he can do is wait until someone visits here, or hope that an Englischer will join us. That’s a slim chance; how many Englischers join us? I suppose a few do, but what would be the chances that he’d like one of them?” Hannah looked over at Anita.
“That’s how I met Joshua.” Anita giggled. “I didn’t mean he was an Englischer, of course, he wasn’t. He was visiting this community when he came to work for his onkel for a few months.”
Hannah glanced over at her again. “Ach nee. I didn’t want to make you think about him. I should’ve been more careful what I talked about.”
“It’s okay for me to talk and think about him. It’s not as though I can forget him, and I don’t think I should.” Anita looked down at her hands in her lap. When she looked back up at the road, she asked. “So where are we heading?”
“I need to get some groceries, and some fabric. I thought if we go to the farmers’ markets, we can get everything there under the one roof.”
“Perfect. I’ll be glad to go there again. What do you need the fabric for?”
“I’m making your boppli a quilt.”
Anita clapped her hands. “Are you? That’s so lovely of you.”
“You can help me choose the colors.”
“That is exciting. I don’t have anything for the boppli yet.”
“I’ve got everything you could possibly need up until he or she is about twelve months old. And if he’s a boy, he can always wear Sam and Ben’s clothes that they’ve grown out of.”
“Denke. That would be wunderbaar. That takes a lot of worry off me.”
“I’ve got blankets, sheets, towels, everything you’ll need.”
When they pulled up in the parking lot of the farmers’ markets, Anita helped Hannah get the boys out of the buggy.
“They’re old enough to walk everywhere, but they slow me down,” Hannah explained. “When I’ve got a lot of shopping to do, I leave them with my mudder for a few hours.”
“That’s gut that you have your mudder to do things like that. I wish mine was still here.” Especially with my boppli coming soon. Anita swallowed hard, and quickly added, “Is your friend’s candy store around here somewhere?”
“It’s just outside the markets. I’ll take you there to have a look.”
“Jah, I’d love to see it. I’m sure the boys would too.”
Hannah frowned. “I don’t let them eat candy. They’re too young.”
Anita shook her head. “I just thought they’d like to see all the bright colors.”
“Let’s go and get the fabric first.” Hannah led the way.
When they walked into the store, Anita was overwhelmed with all the choices she had to make. There was the color, the pattern, the size. “I like the criss-cross pattern of that one. Is that something you could do?”
“Jah, I certainly think I could. And what colors?”
“Just some pale boppli-like colors – pinks, blues and yellow. Maybe with the main color cream?”
When they had made their selections, they headed out of the store. Hannah carried the bundle of fabric under her arm while holding onto Ben’s hand, and Anita held onto Sam.
They stood outside the candy store and didn’t go in because it was too crowded.
“Hannah, look at all these people.”
“It gets busy like this when the tourist buses stop. It’s not as busy as that all day, so Libby tells me.”
“No wonder Libby needs an extra person to help.” Anita pressed her face closer to the window and shielded out the outside light with her hand so she could see inside better. “She’s got three workers and they’re all busy.”
“It looks fun doesn’t it?”
“I can see why you’d want to work there. It would certainly be lively.”
When Anita turned around she expected to see Hannah, but jumped when she saw the bishop’s wife, Fran standing where Hannah had been.
“I thought it was you, Anita. I was standing up there talking to someone and then I looked over and saw Hannah and the boys. John said you were coming back home. And I said I was glad you were. You don’t want to be somewhere that isn’t with familye. This is where you grew up and this is where you belong.”
Anita smiled while Fran talked, and glanced at Hannah who was standing behind Fran with a big grin on her face.
Fran glanced around at Hannah. “Where are you girls off to today?”
Hannah stepped closer. “We just had a few supplies to pick up. Anita just got here yesterday.”
Fran smiled and patted Anita’s stomach. “That’s right, you’re having a boppli. That’s a blessing.”
“Jah; it is a blessing.”
“John’s got a bad cold. He said he wanted to speak to you as soon as you got here; he’s already told your bruder that, but I told him he’s got to get rid of that nasty cold before we have you to the haus.”
Fran looked down at th
e boys, smiled at them, and then ruffled their hair. Ben smiled at her while Sam shied away. Fran chuckled at the boys and then looked up at Anita. “I’ll see you on Sunday, if the Lord spares me.”
Anita and Hannah watched Fran hurry away.
“She’s like a tornado,” Hannah said.
“Jah, she sure is. Doesn’t stop to take a breath.” Anita giggled. “I remember she always said, ‘if Gott spares me’ and when I was younger, I thought she was saying ‘if Gott spears me.’ I was wondering why she’d think Gott would spear her.”
“I thought that same thing exactly when I was young.”
Both girls laughed. Ben distracted them when he asked to go into the candy store.
“We’d better move away,” Hannah said.
Chapter 5
Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the LORD hath wrought this?
Job 12:9
* * *
When they arrived at the Fullers’ haus for the Sunday meeting, Amos jumped out of the buggy first, and then got the boys out. Amos went off to talk to the men, while the two boys scrambled to hold Anita’s hand.
“Seems I’ve fallen out of favor,” Hannah said with a laugh.
“I’ve got two hands,” Anita said to the boys. “One each.” Each boy took hold of a hand, and then Anita and the boys followed Hannah into the house.
It was strange to be back. It seemed to Anita as though she’d stepped back in time. Hannah whispered to her that she liked to sit in the back with the boys in case they misbehaved and had to be taken outside.
“Anita.”
Anita heard someone call her name and looked around to see Bishop John. “Hello.”
He held her hand. “Amos told me you’d returned. I would’ve talked to you earlier but I had a nasty cold, and didn’t want to pass it on since you’re expecting.”
Anita nodded. “Jah, I saw Fran a few days ago. You’re feeling better now, I hope?”
“Jah, jah. Will you come by tomorrow? Fran and I would love to talk to you.”
“I will. I’ll look forward to it.”
He patted her hand. “It’s so gut to see you back here. Mid-afternoon would be the best time.”
“I’ll be there.”
The bishop hurried away to talk to some other people.
“Come on, Anita. Let’s go before all the back seats are taken.”
The boys still had firm holds on Anita’s hands. As she walked to the back, she smiled and nodded to people she recognized. She was pleased to see the friendly faces.
After some songs were sung, the deacon gave the word. He spoke on faith and how people need to trust Gott even though the outward appearances of situations might look bleak. He went on to say that Gott could see what we couldn’t see of our future. The talk gave Anita encouragement.
When the meeting was over, the men moved the long wooden benches out of the house, and replaced them with tables for the meal. The women bustled around the kitchen and the annex outside the kitchen where the food was being prepared.
“They never had hot food after the meetings in my old community,” Anita said to Hannah.
When Hannah didn’t answer, Anita looked to see she was staring at something. Anita followed her gaze to see that she had her eyes fixed on a man who was walking toward them. He was an older man with dark hair and olive colored skin. Anita guessed him to be in his late forties. He was clean-shaven which meant he was a single man.
When he stood in front of them, Hannah said, “Anita, do you remember Hans Yoder?”
“Jah, I do.” Anita remembered that Hans had been married and his wife had died.
Hans stood there staring at her, and when he opened his mouth to speak, another man came up to them. “Hello, Anita.”
The man looked familiar, but Anita couldn’t place who he was. She frowned. “Hello.”
Hans stiffened, obviously put out by the interruption from the other man.
“Do you remember me?” the second man asked.
“Kind of, but…”
“I’m Billy.”
“Billy, you’ve changed.” ‘Billy,’ was Billy Miller, one of the Miller boys who used to live on the next-door farm. Billy was around three years younger than she.
Amos came up beside Anita and took hold of her arm. “If everyone will excuse us, I need to borrow Anita for a minute.” Without waiting for any kind of reply. Amos pulled Anita away.
“What are you doing, Amos? That was a bit rude.”
“Humph. Billy’s too young for you, and you don’t want someone ancient like Hans. It’s ridiculous; he’s old enough to be your vadder. I don’t know what he’s thinking.”
“They were just being friendly.”
He shook his head. “Nee. Trust me, they weren’t. “
Anita stopped still and stamped her foot. “I’m having a baby and I’m recently widowed, Amos. You’re acting like I’m a prime piece of meat that the crows are circling, and I’m not!”
“Maybe not back in Ohio, but here, a prime piece of meat is exactly what you are. You’re an attractive woman, Anita, and you’ll give a man a head start to a familye.”
Anita shook her head. She knew she wasn’t pretty, not at all. She was plain, and that’s just how she liked it.
“Now come on.” Amos grabbed her arm again, and continued walking.
Anita looked up and saw her brother was taking her toward Mark Yoder, Hans’ younger brother.
She remembered Mark from school, and she knew he was the same age as she was. What’s more, she knew that Mark had always liked her. He’d asked her on a buggy ride once, but Anita had refused him because she had just met Joshua.
When they stood in front of him, Mark said, “Nice to see you again, Anita. I thought it was you when I saw you just now in the haus.”
Anita nodded, and swallowed hard. He had grown more handsome with age. Before she could answer, Amos said, “I have to see someone about something.” Amos walked away.
Anita tried to hide her annoyance with her brother so she wouldn’t be rude to Mark. “Hello, Mark. How have you been?”
“I’ve been gut. I heard that your husband has gone to be with Gott.”
“Jah, he has.”
Anita noticed his eyes glance at her belly, but he didn’t mention the baby she was carrying. She had no idea what to say to him, and when he didn’t speak, she could only think to ask about the buggy he was leaning against. “This your buggy?”
“Jah, it is. I’ve just got a new horse.” He turned and patted the shiny black horse on his rump.
Anita stepped closer to look at the horse. “Looks nice.” She wondered why Mark wasn’t married. He seemed nice enough and he was twenty-eight, the same age as she was. It was old for a man in the community to still be unmarried.
“I better go back and see if Hannah needs my help with her kinner.”
“Wait!”
She looked up at him.
“Would you like to spend some time with me?”
Anita’s heart raced and she could feel her cheeks burn. She’d have a stern talk with Amos and tell him not to try to match her with anyone. Anita shook her head. “Nee. It’s too soon after Joshua…”
“Life goes on.”
“Jah, it certainly does.” Anita turned and walked away. That was just it. She didn’t want life to go on. It seemed strange that the world continued just the same as it always had right after Joshua had gone. She wanted the world to stop and acknowledge that her Joshua was no longer amongst the living, but the world and the people in it carried on regardless.
Anita headed straight to Hannah who seemed the safest person to stay around. Before she reached her, Amos cut her off.
Anita held up her hands. “Don’t say anything. Please, just don’t!” She walked past him and found Hannah. She stayed with Hannah, helping with the boys until it was time to go home.
Chapter 6
While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter,
and day and night shall not cease.
Genesis 8:22
* * *
Anita was pleased to take the buggy by herself the next day and head to he bishop’s haus. She always felt a sense of peace when she drove the buggy down the narrow winding roads to Fran and Bishop John’s house.
When she was tying the reins of the buggy to the post, Fran rushed out toward her.
“Come in, Anita. It’s so gut to have you here. Come into the haus.” When Anita was seated in the living room, Fran said, “John will be out in a minute.”
Anita looked around the room. It hadn’t changed since the last time she’d been there, and she was sure the last time she’d been there was with Joshua just before their wedding.
“You wait here and I’ll bring out the tea.”
Anita was sitting on one of the two couches in the room. The bishop came out, and sat on the couch opposite just as Fran came back with a large tray. Fran placed the tray on the table between the couches.
“How do you have your tea, Anita?” Fran said.
“I’ll have it black, denke.” Anita normally didn’t drink tea at all, but it looked like Fran had gone to a lot of trouble to make it.
“Black? I don’t know how you could like it black.” After Fran passed her a teacup and saucer, she cut into the chocolate cake. All the while John remained quiet while Fran fussed about.
“That cake looks wunderbaar,” Anita said.
“I hope so.” She cut a large piece, and placed it on the coffee table near Anita.
When she passed her husband a cup, she sat next to him and folded her hands neatly in her lap.
The bishop turned to his wife, “Denke, Fran.”
She smiled at him.
The bishop looked over at Anita and when he opened his mouth to speak, his wife said, “So lovely to hear you’re having a boppli.”
Amish Widow's Hope Page 3