He came up for air but kept his firm hold on me. “I’ve been dying to do that since we got our score.”
I dropped one hand between our bodies and hooked my finger through his belt loop. “I’ve been dying to do a lot of things to you.”
He returned his mouth to mine, but the ding of the elevator forced my eyes open. Two young skater girls got on and stared at us with wide eyes, clearly holding in their giggles. Josh and I hastily split apart, also biting our lips so we wouldn’t spew laughter everywhere.
The doors opened on our floor, and we laughed all the way down the long hall to our room. I pulled off my ballet flats and danced across the carpet.
“I feel like I’m floating on a cloud, and it’s not just from the champagne buzz,” I said.
Josh watched me with a huge grin. “Seeing the pure happiness on your face is the best part of all of this.”
“It’s just as much relief as happiness.” I removed the hair band from my ponytail, releasing my long curls. “I think today was the most nervous I’ve ever been in my life.”
“Same here. When Roxanne and Evan’s score came up, it hit me all at once and I started freaking out.”
“I could see in your eyes that you were freaking out.”
His expression turned serious, and he closed the gap between us. “I just… I couldn’t be the reason you missed out on the team again. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I’d made a mistake that cost us.”
“Josh,” I said softly and placed my hands on his chest. Emotion choked me, and I had to swallow hard before I could continue.
“I never would’ve blamed you. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I thought the Olympics were never going to happen for me, but then you asked me to skate with you, and you gave me another chance.” I slid even closer and hugged his waist. “You gave me my dream.”
He gazed at me quietly before cupping his hands under my chin. “And you give me mine. Every moment we’re together.”
Our lips met, and I could have sworn I really was floating. I stood on the tips of my toes to reach Josh’s height, but I lost my balance and took us both down onto the bed. He looked up at me, his blue eyes sharpening with desire, and he pulled me into another fiery kiss that made me gasp again. No one interrupted us that time, and he continued to take my breath away until we collapsed into sleep deep into the night.
I woke up a few hours later nestled in the crook of Josh’s arm, one leg stretched across his body. He silenced his phone alarm and brushed my hair from my face.
“Morning, Beautiful,” he said.
I smiled and kissed his shoulder. “Mornings don’t get much better than this one.”
“It was a pretty sweet night, too.” His mouth spread into a wicked grin.
I pushed up to see the time on the clock, but another item on the nightstand caught my eye. “Our Daruma! We get to color his other eye now.”
I reached over Josh and grabbed the doll and the green marker beside it. Settling back against the pillows, I set the Daruma on Josh’s chest and uncapped the marker.
“Ready?” I asked.
We held the figurine together, and Josh covered my hand with his as he’d done on New Year’s Eve. Soon we had a pair of colorful eyes that didn’t match but that represented the two of us and the highest high of our partnership.
“Daruma selfie?” Josh picked up his phone.
I laughed. “Yes, this moment needs to be captured for sure.”
We perched the doll between our faces and smiled as Josh clicked the camera button.
“You’re not posting that anywhere, right?” I said.
“No way. I’m the only one who gets to see how gorgeous you look in bed.”
He stroked my side, and his hand traveled over my hip and down my thigh, awakening every inch of my body. We had a full schedule of activities that day, but I didn’t want this glorious morning to end.
I dragged my fingernails lightly down Josh’s hard stomach, and his abs clenched under my touched. “Do we have time for a little more celebrating?”
His answer was a resounding unspoken Yes, and we barely made it to exhibition practice at the arena on time. After a partial run-through of our show program and a lot of goofing off with the other medalists, we went upstairs for an event we always enjoyed, the federation’s donor breakfast. As soon as we walked into the club room, three of our fans spotted us and jumped out of the buffet line to greet us.
“Congratulations!” they exclaimed.
We’d talked to the women at a number of competitions and shows the past four years as they’d been some of our strongest supporters. We gave all of them hugs and chatted and took photos while a line of more fans formed behind them.
“When do you find out if you’re competing in the team event?” Darlene asked.
I thought back to Mrs. Tucker’s comments at dinner, and a hint of tension crept into my neck. This was the only thing that could slightly deflate my off-the-charts happiness. Part of the Sochi Pact Liza and I had made was competing in the team event, but losing to Roxanne and Evan had complicated the situation. Josh and I were no longer the clear favorite for the one pairs spot in the competition.
“Probably not until we get to Sochi,” Josh said. “The federation has certain criteria it’s using to make the decision.”
“You guys had a better season overall than Roxanne and Evan. That has to count for something.”
“And you’re way nicer,” Darlene said in a low voice.
We all laughed, and I said, “I’ll reserve comment on that.”
For the next hour we posed for countless photos and signed program after program. My stomach rumbled as I smelled the plates of bacon and eggs sailing past us, but we had to make sure all the fans received attention before we hit the buffet.
When the crowd around us cleared, Josh and I headed straight for what was left of the food. Just as we reached for plates, our phones dinged simultaneously with text notifications. Our eyes locked with excitement, and we tapped on our screens. The sender of the message was the head of the federation’s International Committee.
Congratulations on your Olympic team qualification! Please report to the media room at noon for a press conference.
I stared at the text and read it over and over to myself. Congratulations on your Olympic team qualification! That small sentence gave me chills. Even though we’d known yesterday we’d earned our spot and the text was just a formality for us, seeing the words made it all the more real. All the past disappointments, all the heartache… none of it mattered anymore. I would no longer have to live with What if? torturing me. My throat tightened, and I blinked hard as tears filled my eyes.
Josh grinned and showed me his phone with the identical message. “Pretty cool, huh?”
I nodded quickly and covered my mouth as I felt a sob about to escape. I rushed out of the room and into the corridor, and the tears sprang forth.
Josh caught up to me and brought me into his arms. I hid my face against his sweater so the people trickling in and out of the breakfast wouldn’t see me ugly crying.
“I didn’t want to lose it in there with everyone watching,” I mumbled.
He kissed the top of my head. “They all know what you’ve been through, how close you’ve come in the past. I’m surprised you haven’t lost it before now.”
“I think I still felt like I was in a fantasy, but seeing it in the official text made the reality of it hit me.”
“It’s going to get even more official at the press conference. Should I carry some extra tissues for you?” He smiled and touched my cheek.
“I don’t know how I’m going to get through it without bawling. Or the exhibition later. Why did I let you talk me into skating to ‘The Impossible Dream?’ That song makes me cry just listening to it.” I laughed between my tears.
“I’m fully expecting to get choked up myself, so at least we’ll be an emotional mess together.”
I hugged him again and
then dabbed at my eyes. “I should just hang a box of Puffs around my neck for the rest of the day.”
Chapter Nine
THE SKATERS’ LOUNGE BACKSTAGE AT THE arena had been filled with tension all week, but now with the competition over, it had become party central. There were a few disappointed medalists who’d narrowly missed making the Olympic team (something with which I could identify all too well), but most of the skaters couldn’t stop smiling as they waited to perform in the exhibition.
I had my phone out and was snapping photos with everyone in my path. I spotted my training mates Caitlin and Ernie, who’d won the junior pairs title, and we took what would amount to an entire film roll of funny-face pictures.
“We promise we’ll keep Team Cape Cod going strong next year,” Ernie said as we hugged.
“Oh, I know you will. I’ll be stopping by the rink every chance I get to see you guys.”
“Where’s Josh?” Caitlin asked. “We need a group pic.”
I looked around the crowded room and down the corridor to the ice. “He was here a few minutes ago. I’ll grab you when I find him.”
I needed to stretch and get mentally ready for our performance, so I moved away from the party for some alone space. Caitlin and Ernie laughed together as they joined the other junior champions for a photo, and I thought about what Ernie had said.
I’d been so focused on competing that I hadn’t had time to dwell on this being my last nationals. It was hard to imagine my life without competitive skating and not working toward this event every year. January had been the focal point of my year for so long. As excited as I was to start college, I couldn’t deny feeling a little scared and a lot sad over leaving this crazy world behind.
My stomach tensed, and I paced along the far end of the lounge. I shouldn’t have let my brain go there. I was already getting wound up enough about skating. Josh had put so much heart into choreographing our program that he’d created just for this event. I didn’t want to get so emotional that I screwed up the elements.
I remembered clearly the day Josh had brought up his idea. We’d just finished our competition in France and were spending the day sightseeing in Paris. We sat in a charming café, drinking coffee and enjoying the best chocolate éclairs we’d ever tasted.
“I’ve been thinking about nationals and something new we could do for the exhibition,” Josh said.
“I thought we would just do our ‘Titanium’ program since we don’t have much time to work on something else,” I said.
“I love that program. It’s so badass.” Josh took a long sip from his cup. “But I have an idea I really want to put together. The song inspired me as soon as I listened to it.”
“What song is it?”
He hesitated slightly, and I became more curious.
“’The Impossible Dream.’”
My first reaction was to laugh, and Josh quickly said, “I know what you’re thinking.”
“That if we don’t make the team, there’s no way I’m skating to a song about chasing an impossible dream?”
“We’re going to make the team, so that won’t be an issue.”
I rested my chin on my hand. “I’m all about being confident, but this ain’t my first rodeo. I have to prepare myself for all scenarios.”
“I totally get that. What I need to explain, though, is the reason the song spoke to me. It’s not about our Olympic quest.” He grasped my other hand. “It’s about you.”
“Me?”
“For so long, being with you seemed almost impossible, but I never stopped dreaming of you. You were my ‘unreachable star’ as the song says.” He grazed his thumb over my knuckles, and I shivered from his gentle touch. “But I just had this feeling I would have a chance someday. And here we are.”
I smiled. “Here we are.”
“That’s why it would be incredibly special for me to create this program for you and to skate it with you in Boston.”
My heart ballooned further, and I angled forward over the tiny table. “Well, how can I say no to that?”
The ice dance champions waltzed past me, their sneakers squeaking on the floor, and I came back to the present. I stretched one arm in front of me and extended one leg behind me to loosen my muscles.
Em walked with purpose toward the locker rooms, not looking my way, and I wondered what was up with her serious expression. She normally wouldn’t be backstage at the exhibition, but she and Chris had been honored during intermission with all the country’s past Olympic gold medalists. She’d been teary then, but she looked on a mission now.
I trailed behind her and found where Josh had been hiding. Em went up to him and gave him a long hug, and I stayed behind a TV monitor and watched them talk quietly. Josh looked serious, too, and seemed just as nervous as he’d been before our free skate. The butterflies swarming in my stomach multiplied. I really wanted to skate this performance lights-out for him.
Em said something, and Josh finally broke into a smile. They hugged again, and I walked over to them, brightening Josh’s face even more.
“You disappeared on me,” I said.
“Sorry, I just wanted to do one last run-through in my head, and there was too much going on out there.”
“Yeah, I tried to escape myself.”
“I’m heading back to my seat.” Em hugged me hard. “Have a great skate.”
She sounded on the verge of crying again. I supposed it was just the emotion of the whole event getting to her. I was in no position to question anyone’s tears after I’d sobbed my way through the press conference. I’d struggled to form one coherent sentence.
Josh and I held hands and drifted toward the tunnel. With the stark lights in the arena dimmed and a DJ spinning tunes between each skater, the atmosphere had an entirely different feel from when we’d last been on the ice. We stood next to the boards, shrouded in darkness, and watched the men’s bronze medalist skate to Jason Mraz.
Josh moved behind me and played with my curls, his fingertips lightly teasing my bare shoulders. Unlike our competitive programs where I wore my hair up, I could leave it down and let it fly in our show programs. The soft style went perfectly with my pale pink dress.
I turned to face Josh, and I connected with his eyes in the dim light. He looked especially handsome dressed all in black. I was trying to calm myself before getting on the ice, but taking in his hotness only made my heart beat faster.
He pulled me close and clasped his hands on the small of my back. “You were my inspiration for this program, but after yesterday, I know the song must have deep meaning for you, too.”
I smiled and squeezed his biceps. “I reached my own unreachable star.”
He kissed my forehead, and I took slow breaths in and out. Even though we hadn’t run through the program many times, all I had to do was look at Josh and the love between us would take over and guide us through every step. I’d felt it when we’d practiced at home. This program wasn’t about the elements. It was about the connection we’d had since we’d met so many years ago.
One of the volunteers signaled to us to get ready, so we inched nearer to the ice door. The DJ cued up some dance music, and I bounced on my guards to stay warm. The closer we got to the ice, the more goosebumps formed on my arms.
The veteran skater coming off the ice high-fived us, and we switched places with him. We stood under the spotlight near the boards and received applause even before our introduction. Once we were introduced and we skated to center ice, the crowd really let loose, giving me added goosebumps. How lucky was I to have had my first and my last nationals in my hometown?
Josh and I separated for our starting pose, and the moment the music began we skated toward each other, joining our hands as we met. We quickened our strokes and sailed across the rink, and right on the first rise of the music, Josh tossed me over his head for a massive triple twist.
We slowed to match the tempo of the piano, and Josh swept his hand over my cheek. His eyes captured mine, and as w
e glided in the spotlight with blackness all around us, it truly felt as if only the two of us existed.
Through each movement our eyes stayed connected, and the love in Josh’s heightened my emotions. We spun into our rotational lift, the one we’d done the first time we’d ever skated together, and a lump formed in my throat. I’d known then that I’d found my skating soul mate. What I hadn’t realized but knew with certainty now was Josh was also my life soul mate.
The song rose toward its soaring high, and overwhelming joy rose inside me as we sped across the ice. Josh took hold of my left leg, and he lifted me high into the air, higher than I’d ever been. It was like I was standing on air and flying. I spread my arms wide and couldn’t hold in the tears any longer.
Josh brought me down into his arms, and we both shook with emotion as we glided to a stop in a tight embrace. The crowd lit up the darkness with cheers, and I shuddered harder with sobs. Josh held onto me and buried his lips in my hair.
“Better than I ever could’ve dreamt it,” he said.
We left the ice after an endless ovation, and Liza was waiting for us with big hugs. She sniffled in my ear and blotted her eyes with a tissue.
“I’ll have to fix my makeup before I skate. Thanks for making us all cry.” She punched my arm.
I laughed. “You’re welcome. You’re going to have people in tears, too.”
Her “Beneath Your Beautiful” program that Josh had choreographed always choked me up, especially because I knew the deep meaning it had to her.
She fiddled with her long, sleek ponytail. “I think everyone here is in a state of either laughing hysterically or bawling uncontrollably. This has been the craziest day.”
“And there’s more to come,” Josh said.
Liza ran off to do a mirror check before her performance, and Josh and I went to the locker rooms to change into our free skate costumes. We had to sit for team photos on the ice after the show. When Liza’s name was called, we ran up the tunnel and parked ourselves rinkside for a front-row view. Her heartfelt performance did make me misty-eyed, and I hurried afterward to collect myself for the finale of the show.
Taking the Ice (Ice Series Book 3) Page 8