“You don’t look fat,” I promised. “Your coat covers your stomach.”
“Oh, so usually, I do look fat,” she said. Before I could redeem myself, she asked, “How was your interview?”
“Horrible. We’re not doing any more of them. The veneer is cracking, and it’s not pretty.”
“I don’t mean to cut you off, but I have a meeting,” she said. “Are you free tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you come for dinner, and we can talk about all of this?”
“I could bring takeout—”
“No, I’m in the mood to cook. Amazingly, my kitchen is now nearly as well stocked as the one at Happy Hollow. Being pregnant has changed my brain chemistry, I think. I’m getting all domestic. Just get to my place around seven.”
I worked late, but skipped going to the gym, so I got to Gretchen’s a little early and found the elevator in use. Since the doorman knew me, he allowed me to take the stairs and said he’d call to let her know I was on my way up. I was looking forward to having dinner with her. I’d been spending so many nights in places I didn’t want to go, being someone I didn’t want to be, that I welcomed a relaxing evening with just the two of us, without flashbulbs or microphones.
She was holding the service door open when I got to her floor, and hurried me past the kitchen to the living room, sparing me the necessity of finding something tactful to say about how she looked. I’d been right that morning to assure her that her coat concealed her pregnancy. What I couldn’t figure out was when she’d gotten so huge.
I stopped short when we walked into the living room and Daniel turned from the stereo. The record he held fell to the floor and shattered into several pieces.
“What’s he doing here?” Daniel asked.
“What record was that?” Gretchen asked anxiously.
“Probably some singer named Joan. Aren’t they all?” Daniel asked.
“What’s he doing here?” I echoed Daniel.
“I’ve had that album since I was fourteen,” Gretchen said, then it dawned on her that we were glowering at each other. “Dinner. You’re both here for a friendly dinner. You remember those, don’t you? We’ve had them before.”
“Memory fails,” Daniel said.
“It’s the second thing to go,” I retorted.
“Knock this shit off,” Gretchen said. “You know I always have a reason for the things I do. If you want an explanation, sit down and pretend to be civilized human beings.”
“We’re good at pretending,” I mumbled.
“Some of us better than others,” Daniel said under his breath.
“Who wants what to drink?” Gretchen asked.
“I’ll have a Manhattan,” I said.
“I’ll have gin with a hint of tonic, please,” Daniel said and sat on the sofa.
I watched as Gretchen poured a splash of sweet vermouth into the shaker at the bar and plopped a cherry into my glass with the smoothness of a professional bartender. When she started making Daniel’s drink, I glanced at the floor and said, “Are the broom and dust pan in the kitchen? I’ll clean up Daniel’s mess.”
“No!” Gretchen said, freezing.
“I said just a hint,” Daniel calmly reminded her, as the tonic she was pouring flowed over the rim of the glass. “Blaine, you want to clean up Gretchen’s mess, too?”
From the kitchen, I heard a noise that sounded like a lid being replaced on a pan. “Is somebody else here?” I asked.
“I can’t do this,” Gretchen moaned, setting down the tonic and turning to face us.
“It’s just a gin and tonic,” Daniel said. “Gin. Tonic. You pour them in a glass. If you can make a Manhattan, you can make a gin and tonic.”
The kitchen door swung open, and Gwendy came out carrying a tray of hors d’oeuvres. Daniel’s mouth dropped open, and I squinted at her as if she were a mirage.
“What’s she doing here?” Daniel and I asked in unison.
Gwendy set the tray on the coffee table and bent next to me to pick up the broken record. “Joan Baez,” she said. “I always thought of her as Bob Dylan in drag.”
“You’re gonna need this,” Gretchen said, handing Daniel my Manhattan.
Gwendy gently propelled me toward the sofa, and I sat next to Daniel. He and Gwendy had always had a contentious relationship. I felt sorry for him. After all he’d been through over the past few months, a surprise visit from Gwendy could only add to his agitation. I decided it would be best if I was supportive of him. If the two of them started another of their arguments, it would add to Gretchen’s stress. In fact, it was possible that Gretchen had invited me so I could buffer her.
Gretchen handed me Daniel’s gin and tonic before she sat in a chair across from us. It wasn’t like her to be so absentminded, but pregnancy had changed her. I switched drinks with Daniel without commenting.
“Will someone please say something?” Daniel asked.
“Have an hors d’oeuvre,” Gwendy said. “I’m a lesbian.”
As Daniel choked on his drink, something clicked into place for me. Gwendy had always reminded me of someone. I finally realized it was Gretchen.
“Is that a joke?” Daniel asked. He took my Manhattan from my hand and gulped half of it down. “You’re not a lesbian. If you think you are, it’s just a phase.”
“Who are you, Jerry Falwell?” Gwendy asked. “Trust me, I’m a lesbian.”
“When did you figure this out?” I asked in a friendly tone, trying to give Daniel a chance to process the news.
“In college—”
“Everyone’s a lesbian in college,” Daniel interjected.
“—when I started sleeping with the Law Review president,” Gwendy finished.
“So you’re a slut. You’re not a lesbian,” Daniel said.
“Fine, I’m a lesbian slut,” Gwendy said. “You really should try one of these crab puffs.”
“I don’t want fish,” Daniel said.
Gwendy and Gretchen looked at each other and laughed, but wisely didn’t make a joke out of that.
“It’s great, isn’t it,” I said, “to get that secret out in the open? I remember how I felt—”
“Wonderful,” Daniel interrupted. “When you tell our parents—”
“They’ve known for months,” Gwendy said. “Why do you think they joined PFLAG?”
That left him momentarily speechless. I understood. It had taken Daniel and his parents years to come to an understanding about his sexuality and be comfortable enough to talk about it to one another. “Fabulous,” he said. “They barely spoke to me for a decade, but for you, they’re marching in parades.”
“No, Daniel,” Gwendy said impatiently. “They joined PFLAG because they needed support. Finding out they had two gay children left them wondering if they’d done something wrong. Why can’t you ever see anything from their point of view?”
“You owe Daniel a lot,” I defended him. “He paved the way for their acceptance of you.”
“I agree,” Gretchen said. “We owe something to you, too, Blaine. The Stephensons respected your relationship with Daniel because they love you. That made things easier for Gwendy and me.”
“Gwendy and you?” I asked, disconcerted. As I stared at them, realization dawned. “You mean you two are . . . you’re . . . together? How long has this been going on?”
“It all goes back to the wedding, doesn’t it?” Daniel demanded. “You’ve been skulking around ever since Josh and Sheila got married.”
“Actually,” Gretchen said, “it all goes back to lunch at Le Madri. Remember? The day Aunt Jen met Frank?”
“I remember the lunch,” I said. “But you two barely spoke to each other.”
“We made a date right under your nose,” Gwendy said, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, how could you miss that?” Daniel asked. I looked at him, then realized that his sarcasm was directed at his sister and not me.
“I tried to talk to you about it later,” Gretche
n said to me. “But you kept turning the conversation back to your relationship with Daniel.” She looked at Gwendy. “Is something burning?”
“Oh!” Gwendy said, jumping to her feet and heading toward the kitchen.
“I’ll help her,” Gretchen said, following.
I took a deep breath and said, “Well,” as I exhaled.
“How could you not know this?” Daniel asked. “How many times a week do you see Gretchen? You go to doctor’s appointments with her. You’re having a baby together, for God’s sake. You never noticed anything?”
“Don’t blame me for this,” I said. I couldn’t believe he was turning on me after I’d tried to be supportive of him.
“I’ve had enough of these sneak attacks,” he said.
“I didn’t know anything about it. I was surprised to see you here tonight. I thought I was coming for a relaxing dinner with Gretchen. I definitely didn’t know Gwendy was here.”
“I find that hard to believe. But I guess you have your hand in so many pies these days, you’d put Mrs. Smith to shame.”
“Look, this is a shock to me, too,” I insisted.
“I’m sorry; am I being unsympathetic? I just found out, under the pretense of having a long overdue dinner with one of my best friends, who is pregnant with my ex-lover’s child, that she’s sleeping with my sister, who’s gone years without telling me she’s a lesbian. And my ex-lover, who I seem to be saddled with on an almost nightly basis while we play America’s favorite gay couple, and who I’ve seen enough of for one week, wants to sit here and share coming-out stories, until he finds out he’s affected, too.”
“Would you lower your voice, please? Do I have to remind you that one reason I’m doing what I am is to protect Gretchen’s health?”
He gave me a look that could freeze lava and stood up just as Gretchen came out of the kitchen.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” she said, looking from me to him. When she saw his face, her pleasant expression was replaced by a look of concern. “Daniel? Are you all right?”
Daniel gave her a contemplative look and said, “Yes. It’s been a long day, and I shouldn’t have had two drinks on an empty stomach. Is there anything I can do to hurry dinner along?”
I had to admire his acting ability, because Gretchen stopped frowning and said, “Everything’s under control. I’m sorry. I know this was a lot to throw at you. I hope after you have time to think it over, you’ll be happy for me. You’ve always said that I need to find someone responsible, who’s able to take care of me in a way that I don’t take care of myself. Someone who takes her professional life as seriously as I do, but is able to relax and have fun when the day is over, so I can learn to unwind. You’re the one who’s—”
“The brother of your new girlfriend,” Daniel finished. “We’ve been friends so many years, Gretchen. You know I want you to be happy. But you have to give me some time to take all this in.”
I sat in silence, once again understanding Daniel’s need to process things. I needed to process this one a little bit myself, especially as I watched the ease with which Gretchen and Gwendy finished getting our meal ready. They were obviously comfortable with each other, and I couldn’t understand how Gretchen had been living what amounted to another life without my having some clue about it. Then again, after Daniel and I had begun our charade, my time with Gretchen had tapered off. We talked on the phone every day, but now that I thought about it, she’d mostly listened while I complained.
Our conversation after we sat at the table made us sound like four food critics analyzing each dish at a new restaurant. I’d almost convinced myself we were going to pull it off when Daniel suddenly spoke. “I can’t believe you’re a lesbian. How many years did you give me shit about being gay?”
“I did not,” Gwendy said. “I gave you shit because you’re my brother.”
“You can’t be gay,” he said. “This is so weird.”
“You’re sounding awfully intolerant,” I said, using one of his favorite adjectives for me.
“Don’t start with me.” Daniel waved his fork in the air.
“I could hardly be Gretchen’s girlfriend if I wasn’t a lesbian,” Gwendy said with a snort.
“I’m not finding the humor in this,” Daniel said.
“Maybe you should be?” Gwendy suggested.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Daniel asked.
“Here we are, brother and sister, gay and lesbian, sitting at a table with your ex and my current. Isn’t there some humor in that?”
“I’m sure when I get home, I’ll double up with laughter,” Daniel said.
“As long as you’re getting used to the idea,” Gretchen said slowly, “you should also know that Gwendy’s moving in.”
“What?” I was shocked.
“Blaine, you had to know that I might not stay single forever. I got lucky. I found a great woman who loves me and wants to be a part of my whole life.”
“What about the baby?” I asked.
“The baby is part of my life,” she pointed out. She looked at Gwendy and said, “We may as well put it all out on the table, along with the food no one’s really eating. I know I’m not the only reason the two of you are playing the game you are. But I do appreciate the way my privacy has been ensured because of it. Blaine, you wanted me to take a leave of absence for my health. Gwendy has made me realize it’s a good idea. She and I are going to distance ourselves further from the drama by going to Happy Hollow for a while. I can’t turn on the TV or go to the supermarket without seeing you on some talk show or tabloid. It would be like going to a convention of gay coffee table book retailers and not seeing John and Ron on display.”
“Bob and Rod,” Daniel corrected.
“Whoever,” Gretchen said.
“Why does no one remember that they broke up years ago?” I asked. “What does your doctor say? Don’t you have more frequent appointments during the next few weeks?”
“He referred me to a doctor who’s less than ten miles from the resort,” Gretchen said. “I’ll continue to be monitored. I’ll definitely be back before the baby’s born. You’ll be with me during labor and delivery. I promise.”
“I have to go,” Daniel said, pushing himself away from the table.
I didn’t say anything while Gwendy got Daniel’s coat and Gretchen walked him to the door. All I could think of was that once again, he was walking out on me. Now that we’d agreed to no more appearances together, he’d be able to stay away from me indefinitely.
After he was gone, they returned to the table and sat down.
“Blaine, I’ve always liked you,” Gwendy said. “You know that. Maybe things are going to be different from what you imagined now that I’m in the picture, but try not to see that as a bad thing. I know you want to be a full-time father, and I’m not going to try to replace you in her life. She’ll have more than two parents. It happens all the time.”
“You know the sex of the baby?” I asked, starting to get angry.
“No,” Gretchen assured me. She sighed. “This wasn’t supposed to be a bad evening. Gwendy and I have found something special in each other, and we wanted to share it with the two of you. It was supposed to be more of a celebration.”
“I guess with all the parties Daniel and I have been to over the past few weeks, we’re celebrated out,” I said. “Gretchen, could we talk? Alone?”
Before she could answer, Gwendy picked up our plates and said, “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
When she was gone, I turned back to Gretchen, saying, “Look, I know I haven’t been around much lately. I’m sorry if you felt neglected.”
Gretchen let out a short laugh and said, “I’m not your wife, Blaine. I didn’t turn to Gwendy because you weren’t around. Falling in love with her took me by surprise, but I’m happy. Just be happy for me.”
“I am happy for you. Both of you. I understand how Daniel feels, though. I need time for this to sink in. Will you keep me apprised of your plans? Ab
out going to Happy Hollow?”
“Of course,” she said.
The chilly autumn air hit me when I stepped out of her building. I watched as a couple walked quickly down the opposite side of the street. They looked like they were physically attached to one another rather than just holding each other tightly. I wondered for a minute how new their relationship was. Did they have problems?
What if Gwendy and Gretchen had problems? Would that affect the future of my child? I wanted to talk to somebody. No, not somebody. I wanted to talk to Daniel, to work our way through this news together. But of course, he’d made that impossible.
I pulled on my gloves and walked down the steps. As I turned toward home, I saw him leaning against the building, his breath making clouds in the air.
“You should have waited inside,” I said. “What if I’d been a long time?”
“I’m here,” he said impatiently. “Let’s finish what we started this morning. Nothing left unsaid about our friends, the baby, the town house. No more of your secrets to catch me off guard.”
“I don’t have secrets,” I said.
“The hell you don’t.”
“You know about the baby. I wish you’d found out in a different way, but you of all people should understand why I wanted to wait for the right moment to share the news. God, it took you nearly a year to tell me the details about the fucking town house.”
“Blaine,” he said sharply, “I’ve told you everything about the town house. Maybe I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t. I feel like you want me to change the past.”
“You can’t. We can’t. The town house is irrelevant compared to the bomb they just dropped on us. Your sister is going to be involved in raising my child. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“How do you think it makes me feel?”
“How does it affect you? It’s not your child.”
He stared at me for a moment. The look on his face made it seem like he was lining up all his mental soldiers for one last battle. “How could you not have told me you were going to have a baby with my friend?”
“Gretchen is my friend, too. You and I were broken up. It seemed to me that we were through and I was left to make decisions for myself again.”
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