by Nia Mars
“Could he?”
“Wall media,” Uthan says, and a wall panel comes to life across from the bed.
Images flicker through without sound, the morning news.
“Place call to Krek Koah,” Tiam orders, and the screen turns black. Nothing.
“It was like that last night too, and when I checked earlier this morning.”
My heart softens toward him all over again. He checked for me. Checked on his enemy, his rival, because he knew I would want to know. “What do you think is happening?”
“It would be easier to figure that out, if we knew exactly where he was,” Uthan tells me. “Sunflares can knock out communications. So can some random ship malfunction.”
“Or damage from pirate attack,” I voice my fears.
They nod in silence.
The mood of the morning has turned somber. The longer the silence stretches, the more awkward it gets, and the more aware I am that I’m in bed with a man while two others are watching me. I need to move. I need to pee.
“I’m going to get dressed, then we can have breakfast in the garden.”
“Or the private dining room?” Tiam suggests gently.
He is trying to draw me out. He is right. I can’t stay in my quarters forever like a snail in its shell. One day soon, I am going to have to fully claim the Oath Forger title and duties, the palace, and The Five.
I draw a deep breath. “The private dining room.”
He nods, pleased.
“I have someone I’d like you to meet,” he says, but he doesn’t tell me who. He just ushers the other two out.
I shower, taking a lot less time in the mist spray than I’d like. Taly offers a selection of dresses, each one more elaborate than the last. Her company makes me relax.
She has blond, super-curly hair, slightly pointy ears, and a wide mouth that’s always smiling. She is a head shorter than me, and a couple of years younger, probably around the same age as Dason. She is unfailingly polite and so over-the-top efficient, I feel inadequate by comparison. She should be the Oath Forger. She has her act together. She could definitely handle public appearances.
“Maybe one of the sateen dresses, Madam?” She gestures to the three palace workers she brought to help display the collection.
They hold up perfectly splendid choices, but I shake my head.
“I’d like something simple.”
She looks so devastated that I almost give in. Almost. But I manage to insist on something that fastens in the front. I’d really like to be able to dress myself again. And then I have an even better idea.
“I’d like a uniform.”
“Madam?” Taly looks puzzled.
“Something like the crew of a spaceship would wear. The kind of clothes worn by The Five.”
“In whose color?” Taly asks while the other three exchange worried glances.
Taly’s gaze clings to me as if my answer means the difference between life and death. And I can see now what a mistake it would be to pick, say, silver, or blue, or any of the kreks’ colors. It would be read as a declaration.
Pink? That’s nobody’s color, as far as I can tell. Pink would do, except, I can’t see myself parading around in a pink jumpsuit. If I go in front of that crowd outside the palace, do I want to look like a giant pink penis? I bite back a laugh.
“How about some kind of pattern? All the colors of The Five woven together.”
Taly and the three other assistants relax.
“Silver. Black. Green. Blue. Bronze,” Taly says, her expression focused, as if she’s already planning not only the perfect pattern, but the fabric as well, and all the other little details. She smiles. “As you wish, Madam.”
Then she brings me the simplest dress from my wardrobe; pale purple silk, no billowing, cut close to the body, high neckline with an edging of tiny silk flowers, and long sleeves edged the same. A dozen curled ribbons float from my waist to the hem in the back.
When I step out of the room, Tiam is waiting for me outside. He looks me over.
“Disappointed?” I ask him. “Is it too informal? Am I breaking some kind of protocol?”
“You’re ravishing.” He offers his hand.
I have no idea why I take it. I tell myself I’ll pull away the second it gets awkward, but the connection feels right. Even comforting.
“So who am I meeting?” Roax?
Koah said Roax was ugly. How ugly can the man be? Suddenly I realize that ugly on Merim might have different parameters than on Earth. Three eyes? A nose like an anteater? A grotesquely hunched back?
No matter what, I mustn’t flinch or stare. I don’t want to make him feel bad. I brace myself.
A smile lights up Tiam’s face as he escorts me. “You’ll see. It’s someone very important to me.”
I relax. Not the mysterious and visually unpleasant Roax, then.
The private dining room is the third door down the hall. A middle-aged male guard with an oddly flat head stands in front of it. He bows before he opens the door for us.
The round room is as stunning as everything else I’ve seen in the palace so far; a fresh cream color, flowers painted on the wall. My gaze is drawn to the young woman who sits at the round table. She occupies one of the dozen chairs, with Tiam and Dason seated on either side of her. She has their full attention.
She is younger than me, silver hair, gray eyes, perfectly symmetrical delicate features, breathtakingly beautiful—which seems to be a requirement for everyone I meet here. Seriously, I’m this close to an inferiority complex. She’s laughing with the men.
When my chest squeezes, my first reaction is confusion. Why does her presence here bother me? Because she looks to be the same age as Lily, and I miss my sister? But then she places a hand lightly on Uthan’s sleeve, and the chest squeeze becomes more, turns into a flash of anger.
“My sister,” Tiam says at my elbow. “Olipha.”
She turns towards us, her gaze not meeting either of ours. She stares into the middle distance, her smile anticipatory now. “Did you bring her?”
“Yes.” Tiam’s voice holds indulgence.
Dason moves, making room for me. As soon as I sit next to Olipha, she reaches out and feels around until she finds my hand, places hers on top of it for a second. It’s her way of making sure people are where she thinks they are, because she can’t see.
Having located me, she draws back. “Welcome to Merim, Ava. I can’t believe you are here.” She giggles. “I can’t believe we have an Oath Forger. When Tiam first told me about you... I’ve never heard him sound so happy. I almost didn’t recognize his voice. I thought one of my friends was playing a prank on me.”
Tiam exuberant? I grin at him.
He flashes me an embarrassed look.
“How is school?” he asks Olipha. “Have they kicked you out yet?”
“Highest grade in class.” She beams.
She is completely natural, artless, happy in a way that I haven’t seen in a long time, certainly not at Dallas Colony. Having to live underground, in constant danger and deprivation, does terrible things to people. It sucks the joy out of their spirits.
“What are you studying?” I ask.
“I’m going to be a spaceship pilot.”
Not the answer I expected. But then again, spaceships are run by computers. As long as she can communicate with the comm unit, can plan and strategize, and has quick reflexes, why not? I’m impressed.
“I’d never been in a spaceship until I was kidnapped.”
“No more kidnapping,” she promises instantly. “When I’m a pilot, I’m going to kick pirate butt.”
Okay. I like her.
“How long does it take to learn to be a spaceship pilot?”
“Two years of military studies, two years of space studies, then two years of leadership classes.”
“Your sister might be more extraordinary than you are,” I tell Tiam, just to needle him.
Olipha grins. “He’s gone to pilot school too. He
’s gone to a lot of schools. He even studied interstellar law, the most boring subject of all boring subjects. He’s an insufferable know-it-all. Word of warning: Do not get him started on interplanetary treaties.”
Tiam groans.
I laugh at the amount of embarrassment he squeezes into the sound. “Duly noted.”
Dason needles him next, and as food is brought in for us, even Uthan joins in. Breakfast is... unexpected. It’s laughter and lightness, and I feel as if I am with a circle of friends. I am more relaxed than I have ever been outside the one-room living space I used to share with my sister.
The palace is not home, not by a far stretch, and I can’t imagine it ever becoming that for me. But it’s okay. It’s no longer a scary place, threatening to swallow me up. Now laughter lives here, and people I’m beginning to care about.
After breakfast, when Olipha goes home, I thank Tiam for bringing her.
His usually hard gray gaze softens with appreciation. “She asked if she could come again.”
“Yes, please. If school leaves her time for a visit.” I hesitate as we walk down the hallway. He is showing me the rest of the palace. “She is amazing. You must be really proud of her.”
“Whatever Olipha decides to achieve, she achieves.” Tiam’s face grows somber. “She wasn’t always blind. Wayward shot from an assassin, meant for my father. She was three. She didn’t understand. After she woke up from the unsuccessful eye surgery... She just thought it was dark. She begged us to turn on the lights. She was so scared, it broke my heart.”
The grief in his voice is unmistakable. This time, I am the one to reach for his hand.
He wraps his long fingers around mine. “She’s all right now.”
“A force to be reckoned with. I like her.”
His hand squeezes mine for a second.
We are in the public, outer ring of the palace. He shows me into a spacious reception room, then offices and more offices, some occupied, others empty. He introduces me to more people than even I can remember. I do my best anyway, connecting names and faces in my brain.
They all bow and smile and seem incredibly happy. “Welcome Oath Forger,” they say, in the tone of a thanksgiving prayer.
Yet under their happiness, I sense something else, something that scares me—expectation. They all expect me to save them, to end the war and bring lasting peace. This is why I am here.
A suffocating feeling settles over me once again. I keep smiling and keep returning greetings. And the longer I do the meet and greet, the more sure I become that I can’t do this. I can’t keep pretending. There will be very real consequences for my actions. I can’t lie to billions of people. I can’t fool entire solar systems.
Why on earth did I ever think I could?
Dark fears swoop around me like pirate ships when they hunt people on Earth. For a second, I have to lean against the wall.
“Are you all right, Ava?” Tiam puts his hand under my elbow to offer support.
I draw a deep breath to settle the panic. “Just tired.”
Lying again. That’s the thing about lies. Once you start, you can’t stop. It just gets worse and worse.
“I’ll take you back to your room. You have plenty of time to rest. I’ll come and collect you in time for lunch. Would you like to have lunch in the garden?” he asks as we start walking.
“I think I’d prefer to have lunch alone today.”
His stride never falters, but I know I hurt him. I know the kreks all want to spend as much time with me as possible. I even understand why. I’m not the only one here who has to commit to spending her life with a stranger. They do, too. And worse... They are all kreks, heads of their territories, used to having full control, used to ruling, being top dogs.
Now they have to share.
I can’t see how this is going to end well. I’m pretty sure it’s going to end in disaster. I’m just hoping it won’t end in murder.
Chapter Eight
WHEN WE REACH MY ROOM, Tiam closes the door behind us. Concern fills his gray eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong, Ava.”
His voice is full of warmth and caring. He is like a wall of strength next to me. I know that any help I ask for, he will give. He already pledged me his protection.
What have I given him?
Lies.
I blink hard to hold back tears. I turn away from him and walk to the wall of windows, look out at the garden. I stare at all that serenity out there—the exact opposite of the emotions churning inside me.
When a solid wall meets my back, I keep my spine stiff, but only for a couple of seconds, then I relax against Tiam’s chest. At that sign of acceptance, his arms come around me. I’m in a cocoon of warmth and masculine strength. He is holding me safe.
“I’ve been thinking about how you came to us,” he murmurs into my hair. “You didn’t come because your Oath Forger powers awakened and you sensed us. You didn’t feel the pull. You had none of that to help you accept the task. You were kidnapped from your people, then Koah saw you, and he recognized you. I wonder...”
His arms tighten around me. We stand in silence.
When I can’t take it any longer, I ask “Wonder what?”
“If you feel the pull at all,” he says after a while. “If you have awakened to us, as we have awakened to you.”
I have to lie again.
Except, I find that I can’t.
I say nothing. My lips stay pressed together.
Tiam’s words echo in my mind. Then Koah saw you and recognized you.
What does that mean? Recognized how?
It’s because I’m different, I decide. I’m from Earth, a faraway planet none of them have ever visited. I must feel different to them, foreign. Koah had sensed that. He’d been waiting for an Oath Forger, someone very different and unique. He sensed my foreignness, and he thought I was the one.
Then he announced the news to Tiam, so by the time Tiam met me, he was already primed to believe I was the Oath Forger. When he walked into that hospital room, Tiam expected to see the Oath Forger with Koah, so he did.
Then, because Koah and Tiam seemed so certain, the others agreed. By the time Dason and Uthan saw me, I was in the Oath Forger’s palace, in the Oath Forger’s bed. Who else could I have been?
And they all want this to be true, want me to be the Oath Forger. That makes a big difference.
For the first time, I wish it were true. I wish it were real. I blink back tears, grateful that Tiam can’t see them.
He doesn’t move away even after several seconds. He holds me safe, gently resting his chin on the top of my head. I’m completely surrounded by him. He wraps me in comfort.
His slowly slides his right hand up my torso until his palm is resting between my breasts, over my heart. “You will feel us here. You will feel the link too,” he says. “Soon. It will happen.”
It won’t. Misery chokes me. “I don’t want—”
“The others don’t have to know.” He reads my mind. “I won’t let them push you.” He presses his lips against my hair and leaves them resting there. Mumbles, “This explains so much. I wasn’t sure... I worried.”
He will worry a lot more when the truth eventually comes out. He’s probably going to hate me before this is all over. I draw a shuddering breath.
He turns me in his arms and peers into my face. “Stars, Ava. Don’t cry. The sight of your tears breaks me.”
He uses the pads of his thumbs to rub away the drops of moisture that roll down my cheeks. Then he cups my face and kisses away the rest. I lean into the comfort he is offering, and then I tilt my face to his.
For just a second. I need this moment. Then I’m going to get my act together and figure out how to dig myself out of the mess I trapped myself into here.
For a second, I just want to feel Tiam like this. Everything about this man is so hard. How can his lips be so soft on my cheek? Then his mouth meets mine. His lips on mine are like a whisper, and he must be whispering the right things, be
cause I can’t pull away, not after a second, not after two, not after ten.
His embrace is becoming a familiar and comfortable place. Bad things are coming, I know they are. So I decide to give myself this small break. I can steal this much. I want to at least take the memory of his kiss with me when I’m kicked out of the palace.
He kisses me as if I were a precious gift. Like he is unfurling an ancient scroll for the first time in a thousand years, a scholar’s priceless treasure. He is gentle and caring.
I fall headfirst into all that he is offering. I open to him.
The sound tearing from his throat is a grateful sound. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping into my mouth, but he remains cherishing and restrained. My hands have somehow come to rest against his chest, and in the tension of his muscles I can feel how wound up he is.
His restraint costs him, but he knows I’m not ready for more, so restraint is what he gives.
We are in my bedroom, a few steps from the most enormous bed in the world. If I gave the slightest sign, he would take me into his arms and carry me over. He would cover me with his hard-muscled body. He would make love to me gently, or he would ravish me—as I desire. But because I don’t give any sign, we simply kiss.
He explores me with caution, ready to withdraw should I say the word. Yet, at the same time, he manages to give everything, all of himself. There’s no pretense. He doesn’t pretend to be unaffected.
His hands begin to roam my back, then slip lower. When he cups my butt, I groan into his mouth. It’s not a groan of protest.
He doesn’t press himself against me. I press myself against him. Then I lose my breath. His hard desire between us is as obvious as it can get.
He makes no move to rub against me. He kisses me as if that’s all he wants, even if I can feel him trembling with passion.
Need unfurls inside me like leaves looking for the sun. Can’t have him, can’t have him, can’t have him, my brain drums. He is not for me. He is for the real Oath Forger. A kiss is something, but to let him inside my body... It might change some balance of fate, tip some kind of cosmic scale.
As I pull away, he immediately lets go of me.