“In the beginning I thought your tears were a weakness. Now I think they make you stronger. People usually cry when they can’t carry on, your tears seem to renew your courage.” His tone was thoughtful.
Yes. I kissed him.
The time from the moment I kissed Soren in front of the fountain until we made it back to my place was a hurried, albeit horny, blur. There was no taking our time tonight, just a frenzy of passion and skin. It was hard to say it was even better than the previous night, but with that amount of need and desire pulsing through us… it was pretty damn fantastic.
We laid there panting, recovering. I looked over at Soren, sparkling with sweat and flushed from the activity. I kissed his shoulder and licked his sweat from my lips. He raised an eyebrow and laughed at me. He rolled onto his side and pulled me against him, his member pressed into my leg.
“Ugh,” I groaned. “You’re still ready to go.”
“Does it really bother you?” he asked.
“Well, yeah. Girls like to know their lover had a good time as much as the reverse.”
Soren stroked his beard and seemed to contemplate this.
I added to my thought, “I mean, I get it, about your wife. But it just feels… unflattering.”
He squeezed me tight with my face against his chest, and kissed my forehead. “I do not mean to insult you in any way, sweet Hel. You are perfection in my bed.”
So help me, I grinned so big I almost giggled. “Thank you.”
“It will take me some time to get used to being with another woman,” he said, still squeezing me. “Can you give me that time?”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to stop having sex with you now that I know how amazing you are.” I kissed his chest and snuggled against him. So big, so warm.
“Good,” he sighed as he stroked my hair.
Once again, I slept—this time, dreamlessly.
I woke up feeling better than the previous time I had woken. The food really helped. I smiled, remembering my talk with Soren and spending the night in his arms. I was even happier when I rolled over to find him still beside me in the bed.
His eyes lingered on me with a soft gaze. “Did you sleep well?”
I yawned and stretched. “I did. Did you sleep at all?”
“No, but I didn’t want to leave you. Some here have nightmares when they sleep, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you being alone and scared.” He smiled.
“So you just held me and watched me for hours?” I asked. This was sweet, not creepy—at least that’s what I kept telling myself.
“Is that OK?” He furrowed his brow, afraid he had done something wrong.
“I’m not used to people watching me sleep. As long as you were comfortable, I guess it’s fine,” I said.
“Lying here with you, watching over you, I felt needed. It was a better use of my time than sitting in my place alone, or out digging with Billy,” he said, and touched my face.
I intertwined my fingers with his and brought his hand to my lips. “I’m very glad to have you here,” I said, kissing the tips of his fingers.
“Now that you are up, we should work!” he exclaimed, and nearly jumped out of bed, leaving me startled and slightly annoyed.
I sighed. “OK, see you out there.” I started to ask him if he had told Billy anything about us, but he was dressed and out the door before I could form the words. Work hard, play hard: that was Soren.
It wasn’t long until I made my way outside and chose a spot near Soren to dig. We exchanged a meaningful smile but said nothing.
A few minutes into work, we heard cheerful whistling and saw Billy carrying three cups of coffee in a tray, and a bag of something. He was smiling like the cat that ate the canary.
He beamed at us. “Mornin’. Thought you all might enjoy some coffee and muffins after your long night.”
My eyes widened, and when I looked at Soren, he had the same concerned look on his face as well.
“What do you mean, ‘our long night,’ Billy?” Soren asked, trying to keep his face serious.
Billy chuckled. “You know what I mean: long day, long hours, whatever. Y’all think the walls here are sound proof, or somethin’?”
I turned about fifty shades of red, but couldn’t help laughing. Soren gave him a tight lipped smile, but nodded.
“Point taken.”
“And I saw the two of you when you got back from the city; holding hands, couldn’t stop kissing… You walked right by me.” He grinned and set down the coffee and muffins. “I love it,” he said shaking his head, and picked up one of the coffee cups.
We laughed, and all smiled at each other. We sat on the ground and enjoyed our food before getting back to work.
It was kind of nice that Billy knew and we didn’t have to be so secretive. It made it more real, more stable. I was glad Soren seemed just as happy as me about the issue.
I took a deep breath and realized I was feeling happy. It had been so long since I felt that. Just the thought of the word felt like warmth flowing all over me. I reveled in it, in Soren, in Billy. I was only missing Grace.
I was digging and felt Soren creep up close behind me. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Since you gave us up, next time, I’m going to stuff a gag in your mouth.”
I made a face and offended sound in protest, but couldn’t stop the smile that followed. Well great. I was still coming to terms with this masochistic side Soren brought out in me, and now the last thing I wanted to do was work. Torture. That was probably what he was going for.
I worked several hours, then went into town to stock up on groceries.
After combing the aisles, I had a cart full of protein and caffeine, along with a coffee pot that I desperately needed. That should fuel work and sex for the next few days. I had a few extra plates and mugs that Grace had brought in, but picked up a few pots and skillets to cook in. That should be enough to feed myself.
As I was walking back through town I saw the dark, regal entrance to the Vampire Quarter. I wondered how my friends’ journey was going. I estimated they had been gone a couple of weeks, in living time, and had questioned why they couldn’t come back to me while they slept there during the day—something I could ask when they came back; if they came back.
Once back at my place, I put the food away and washed the new cookware. The advice I had been given was right: the more I tried to follow rules like I was living, the easier my day felt. If nothing else, it was just an activity to keep me busy. And now that I was with Soren, I didn’t feel the need to burn every second of every hour by digging. I felt almost normal, and smiled to myself in my contentment. I wasn’t certain this was what I wanted forever, but for now, I’d take it.
I went back out to dig, since I wasn’t tired. Sleep wasn’t necessary, but it had seemed to energize me. I hadn’t been able to fight it after the exhaustive love making Soren had put me through. But the idea of sleeping here still made me nervous, knowing the nightmares I could have.
I walked out into the gray and brown atmosphere that made up my world, and tried to find some kind of beauty in the bleakness. I failed, and sighed, and used my boot to shove the shovel into the soft earth. Billy and Soren were nowhere to be seen, and even though there were other reapers, they seemed to always be on a schedule that was different from us. I wondered if Soren had scared them away, like he tried to do to me when I first came. I smiled at the fact I was the only female reaper, and had won him over so well.
“Hel,” I heard Soren’s voice behind me.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and turned to see him and Billy walking towards me.
“Hey,” I smiled sweetly, not hiding the fact I was happy to see him. My smile faded when I saw how serious his face looked.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“They’re back. We just saw Andreas in town,” Soren said.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“Nothing, he didn’t see us. We just saw him in the store. He was picking up so
me makeup,” Billy said.
Questions flooded my mind: Why wouldn’t they come see me first? How long had they been back? Were they avoiding me because something bad had happened?
“I need to get over there,” I said, and handed my shovel to Soren. “Please finish this plot?” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek without even thinking twice.
“Let me go with you,” he pleaded. “You don’t know what you’re walking into.”
“No, I think it’s better if I go alone. I promise I’ll be careful, and I’ll come back as soon as I can.” My eyes searched his for understanding. This wasn’t the time I needed him to be all super macho and powerful.
He pushed his chin forward and straightened his back. It was a wound to his pride not to protect me, but he respected me and let me go.
I held myself to a fast walk as I made my way through the field. It took more energy to hold myself back than it did to run, so I ran. I ran all the way to the city’s edge, where the brown of the dirt stopped and turned to gray cement.
To my surprise, my lungs didn’t burn with the effort, and my side didn’t feel like a knife had been jabbed into it. Maybe once things settled down I would consider taking up running.
The entrance to the Quarter was as beautiful as it was intimidating, but I didn’t stop to think about it; I simply went on inside.
I didn’t run, only because it was difficult to recall where the apartment was, and I was afraid I’d walk right by it.
Black streets, black buildings, tight alleyways and soaring sky lines—so beautiful, and so menacing.
I saw the little stoop that looked like the one Boude and I had been on. I was more certain than not that this was Andreas’s apartment. I quickly ascended the steps and used the elaborate door knocker that confirmed my suspicion.
Andreas opened the door. His eyes were unreadable, but he didn’t speak to me. Instead he called over his shoulder, “It is her. Should I let her in?”
Boude’s voice sounded strained and stressed. “Yes, yes, of course she can come in.”
As I stepped in I thought about telling Andreas that he needed better door manners, but what I saw quickly made that seem insignificant.
Boude was on the red velvet couch, leaned forward with his head in his hands, looking anything but relaxed. Beside him in one of the matching chairs sat a man that seemed more familiar than he should have. He was dressed in black, his beard was long and thin, and his eyes were endless pools of blackness.
Who else would be here? The realization hit me like a punch to the stomach. “Rasputin,” I whispered, and stepped back in shock. He looked just like the picture I had seen in my school books while growing up. Boude might not have been certain of his origin, but I was convinced this was the same guy.
He stood and reached for my hand. There was no way I was letting any part of my body that close to him. I stepped back and unconsciously put my hand on my now healed neck, where he’d once sunk his fangs.
His smile told me he was glad he frightened me. “Helena, correct?” he asked in a thick accent.
I nodded.
“I am sorry, I do not remember what happened during those years I was starving, but I was told I recently attacked you. Thankfully, my friends here finally saw fit to rescue me.”
The way he said ‘finally’, I wasn’t sure if he was truly grateful, or simply pissed they had waited so long. I ignored the man, who was creeping me out even worse now, as himself, than he did as a starving, decaying vampire who wanted to drain me.
I looked at Boude, and backed even farther away from Rasputin. “Where is Grace?” I demanded.
Boude raised his head from his hands and sighed. I almost screamed at him to answer me, when I heard her voice.
“I’m here Hel,” Grace called from the doorway behind me.
I was so relieved I almost cried. I turned around to run to her, but I froze..
When I saw her, my universe stopped. One side of Grace’s face was as lovely as it had ever been, showing her brilliant amber vampire eye. But the other side her face was raw, clawed, and one of her eyes was gone—completely gone—only a gory, red ruin of what was once there.
I gasped and covered my mouth. It was awful, and I couldn’t pretend like it wasn’t.
“I’m OK, Hel. It doesn’t even hurt anymore,” Grace said, touching one of the long gashes that traced the front of her left cheek.
I went to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “Who did this to you?” I asked, choking back tears of desperation and rage.
“I’m afraid, that was my mistake.” The evil dark haired man spoke from the corner.
I turned to look at him, and if my eyes could have set him on fire, I would have roasted a marshmallow while he burned.
“What do you mean?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“When Andreas and Boude released me, I was starving and practically feral. Grace was so recently turned that she didn’t smell like a regular vampire to me. I thought they had brought me food,” he shrugged. “I felt terrible once they tore me away from her and explained the situation. I was happy to have only caused a little damage.”
I lunged for him—I would tear his throat out with my fingernails and teeth if I had to.
Hands on my arms and shoulders stopped me just short of my reach. Rasputin was still seated, looking completely undisturbed.
Grace and Boude had my arms.
“You call this ‘a little damage?’” I screamed at him, flicking a gesture at Grace’s bloody face, while my upper arms were still held pinned.
“It was only an eye. It could have easily been her throat, and there would have been no coming back from that.” The gleam I saw in his beady eyes let me know that his statement was as much of a threat as anything.
“Vampires heal extremely well, right?” I asked. “Isn’t that one of the perks?” I needed something to hope for.
Everyone was too quiet, but Andreas finally stepped out from the doorway in the kitchen area.
“In the mortal world, wounds can be harder to heal, and if that damage is inflicted by another vampire, especially at her young age… It is likely permanent.” He was leaned against the wall furthest away from me.
I turned my head to look at Boude, hoping my eyes showed the desperation I was feeling. “You promised you would watch out for her.”
He broke eye contact and dropped his head, but never loosened the grip on my arm. “I know I have failed you as a friend,” he said.
“In more ways than one,” Andreas said almost inaudibly.
Boude and Grace both shot Andreas sharp looks. The blonde vampire in the doorway shrugged.
“Why not just get it all in the open? I see no use in saving these secrets for another time.” He smiled, enjoying the bit of trouble he was causing.
My body sagged in their grip. More bad news? “Just tell me,” I conceded.
“Let me this time,” Grace said to Boude, and I saw a slight nod of his head.
“While we were traveling together, we needed to share a sleeping space. We didn’t want to travel back here everyday because we needed to conserve our energy. It started innocently enough, but the cold, the darkness, and my new bloodlust ran deeper than…” she paused, looking away.
“…Deeper than blood.” I finished for her, realizing the direction this had taken. “The two of you slept together,” I said as I tried to process this news.
“She was a teenager when she was died. Isn’t there a rule against that or something? Vampiric statutory rape?” I was sickened and confused. I shook them off of me and backed away from everyone so I could catch my breath.
Rasputin sat in his chair with a smug look of contentment on his face. I wanted to wipe it off with a sledgehammer.
“I was only eighteen when I died. So you see, it’s not as big of an age difference as you claim,” Boude said.
I almost argued that he had died who knew how many centuries before Grace, but realized that argument would hold no weight if a
nd when they learned about Soren and me. Dammit, I felt protective of Grace, and Boude had been my lover… err, friend with benefits. My head spun with internal dialogue of feelings and logic, neither of which supported the other. I felt my friend had been maimed, and was now being taken advantage of by the people who were supposed to care for her.
“I need to get out of here,” I said. Everything in the room looked blurry, and the air felt thick and heavy. I tried to avoid looking at Rasputin, who was the one clear, still image my eyes tried to rest on.
Grace touched my arm as I tried to make my way to the door. “Please don’t be angry with me. Stay, lets talk,” she pleaded.
I turned to her. “Grace, I love you and I’m glad you made it back. And I’m more sorry than I can say that you were hurt. I just need some time.” I made my face soft and squeezed her hand.
Her face showed the disappointment she felt, but she let me go. A tear ran from her one lovely crystalline eye down her unmarked cheek.
I was drunk when I finally made it back to the fields. Feeling pissed off at everyone, I decided digging would be a good way to release some anger.
I had my shovel in one hand, and the bottle of gin I had been nursing in the other. I set the bottle down in the dirt and started digging. My shovel didn’t slide into the dirt as easily as it normally did, and nothing seemed to cooperate.
“Dammit!” I yelled at my shovel and the ground. Some hair had escaped my messy bun, and I brushed it back with my arm. Ok, try again.
I kept spilling the dirt from my shovel back into the same spot I had just gotten it from, over and over.
My hands tightened on the shovel and I bit my lip. I brought my foot up to kick the shovel down into the dirt and missed, scraping the length of my calf down the edge of the shovel.
The Girl Who Digs Graves (The Gravedigger Series Book 1) Page 14