by Starr, Bria
*****
Logan: Did you want to come over tonight?
I’ve never actually been over to his place before, and it makes me nervous just thinking about it.
Me: Sure. What time? I’ll need directions.
He sends me his address and directions. It looks easy enough to find.
Logan: I can’t wait to see you.
I pull up and park next to his black motorcycle and green Dodge Ram. His house is covered in beautiful stone and large windows—gorgeous. He’s waiting for me in the doorway as I follow the cement path and walk to his front door. I enter his kitchen and noticegranite countertops that I long to have in my own. His kitchen is at least twice the size of mine. Actually, his whole house is bigger.And nicer.
It looks nothing like a man lives here, except for the bare walls and lack of decorations. It’s clean. That makes me like him even more.
He walks me through the living room and shows me a bathroom around the corner. Then we ascend the stairs, and I see two bedrooms filled with music equipment, guitars, and sports memorabilia. He brings me to the third bedroom, and I notice a large four post bed; the posts are wooden and designed like something out of a log cabin.
I see a few more guitars hung up around his walls and some in stands along the floor. A large widescreen is hung on the wall beside multiple framed awards and jerseys. I see trophies and medals from motocross, football, and other various sports from his high school days.
“I’d love to get to see you race someday. You must be pretty good if you have all these awards.”
“I told you I was good.”
“You always say you’re good at everything.”
“That’s because I am good at everything.” He laughs.
“You’re so cocky.”
“Let me show you how good I am at things.”
He takes me into his arms and kisses me. I wrap my arms around him as he lifts me up and brings me to his bed. He sets me down on top of his lap, and with my legs on either side of him, I move my hands into his hair and kiss him. After several minutes, he finally pulls away and takes a breath.
“Damn, I’m so glad you came over!”
“Me too.”
He puts his hand on the back of my head and brings my lips back down to his.
As we venture back down the stairs to his living room, he mentions that he owns the house and his friend Josh, rents the basement. Logan has raced all over the country and was sponsored by none other than Troy Lee Designs. He is an adventurous man with many talents, though I have yet to see some of those talents. He knows I don’t sleep around, and I know he’s taking it slow with me, but I really like him and our make out sessions are no longer enough. Yes, it’s only been a couple of weeks, and we’re not exactly official, but I’m so attracted to him. It’s nice to feel wanted.
And there are times I’ve definitely felt how much Logan wants me.
Me: I think I miss you.
Logan: Really? Good, because I’ve been thinking about you all day.
Me: Are you having a nice day at work?
So lame. Who has a nice day at work?
Logan: It’s better now that you’ve texted me. When do I get to see you again?
“What are you so happy about?” I nearly drop my phone as Zach’s voice startles me.
“Zachary! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I scold him.
He smiles. “So, who is making you smile? Can’t be that blonde friend of yours. She’s not clever enough to think of anything amusing to say.”
“That is not nice. I love Cassidy, and she’s a very clever person.”Sometimes. “I happen to be making some plans with someone else, thank you very much.”
His smile disappears. “With who?”
“Logan. He’s just a guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks.”
“Oh. I wasn’t aware you were seeing anyone.”
“Well, we’re not official or anything. Just hanging out. Having a good time.”
“Is that your choice or his?” I look down. Why hasn’t he asked me yet?
“I see. Why wouldn’t he want to make it official? Who wouldn’t want to make you their own?”
“Zachary, it’s a mutual understanding. I’m fine with taking things slow.” This really isn’t any of his business.
“If you say so.” And with that, he leaves.
I look back down at my phone and reread the texts from Logan, smiling again to myself.
As Logan and I hang out at the bar during our third week of ‘unofficially dating’, more and more women seem to approach him. Especially Holly, the blonde bitch from the first night I met Logan. They seem like more thanjustacquaintances. I don’t know the extent of their relationship, and I don’t want to know.
Okay, I kind of do. He could be screwing her for all I know. I’m not usually the jealous type, and we’re not in anactual relationship, but we spend almost every chance we can talking or cuddling in bed watching movies. That’s basically a relationship, right? It’s not a big deal, and I’m happy just to spend time with him, but I can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t want more yet.
I don’t like this newfound stress I’m dealing with. I blame my trust issues on Alec. I try to brush it off and enjoy my night out with Logan as he teaches me how to play darts and shoot pool.
*****
It’s a slow night at work, so I go in the back to send Logan a text asking if he’s coming over tonight. I see a missed call and voicemail from Alec and erase it immediately. I have another text from Cassidy asking me to call her right away.
“Cassidy?”
“Hey, Wren. You got a minute?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“You know I love you, and I’m always honest with you, and I would do anything to keep you from getting hurt.”
“Yeah…?”
“I want you to know that Jack was saying Logan has a girlfriend down in Texas.”
“You mean had. He had a girlfriend who is currently residing in Texas.”
“No, he says they’re still together, and that Logan is just using you until she moves back to Minnesota.”
No. I don’t believe it. He would have mentioned she was coming back, wouldn’t he? Is that why he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship? I want to throw up.
I’m just getting over being lied to and having my heart broken. I don’t need this right now. Not from him.
“This couldn’t have waited until I got home? You had to call me at work and tell me this now?”
“I’m not going to be home tonight, and I wanted you to know as soon as possible.”
“Well, it’s not true. We already had the ‘ex talk’. She lives in Texas, and I’ve heard nothing about her coming back. In fact, I’ve heard nothing good about her, period.”
“Okay, Wren. I just wanted to let you know what Jack told me.”
“Well, Jack is an asshole! It’s not true!” I fire back, slamming my phone down on the counter. I take several deep breaths and go back out to check on my tables. Praying it isn’t true.
I am still fuming the following morning on my way to work, and I still haven’t seen Cassidy. I get to the shop and walk past the front desk and straight to where Zach is.
“Give me something to do,” I demand. He raises his eyebrows, but says nothing as we silently delve into work.
About noon, Zach looks up at me from the car we are working on. “You wanna go grab something to eat?”
“Yes, please. I’m starving.”
We go to The Edge since Connor makes the best Juicy Lucy’s I’ve ever had. Jen welcomes us, and she subtly checks Zach out, as she usually does. We are seated by Gale, the day waitress who should be long retired by now.
Zach and I have such easy conversation that for a moment, I almost forget about the rumor. Almost.
I’m going to have to talk to Logan. I’m not one to let things carry on as if nothing has happened. I want to get to the bottom of this. But not until I go home and take a nap
.
I wake up to my phone ringing. It’s Logan. Moment of truth.Do I answer it?
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hey you. What are you doing today?”
“Nothing.”
“Can I come over? I want to see you.”
I don’t want to see him as much as I did two days ago, but if he comes over, I can get some answers and figure out what is going on.
“Sure. I’m home. Whenever you get here is fine.”
“I’m in your driveway.”
Shit!
I jump out of bed and rip off my skintight tank top that I like to sleep in, and get dressed as fast as possible. I run into the bathroom and quickly reapply some makeup, then throw my unruly hair up into a messy bun. There is no way I’ll be able to tame that wild beast right now.
I go downstairs and open up the door. He gives me a half smile before leaning in and kissing my forehead, then takes my hand and leads me up to my bedroom. I close my door, and he softly presses me against it as he places both hands on my face and kisses me. I debate stopping him to get some answers, but his warm, soft lips feel so nice. I’ve missed him. I get lost in his kiss as I wrap my arms around his waist before pushing him towards the bed.
He falls on it, and I crawl up and straddle him never taking my mouth off his. He pushes me over so that he’s on top of me and continues kissing me, but I keep thinking of him and Valerie together.
I can’t keep doing this.
I push him away.
“What’s the matter?” he asks breathlessly.
“Are you still with Valerie?”
“No. Are you with Zach?”
Shocked, I sit up straight on the bed. “No! Why would you ask me that?” I shriek.
“Because I heard some rumors. I was pissed when I first found out, but I realized I shouldn’t be mad until I talked to you about it and found out the truth.”
Great, now I feel bad. I should have just called him last night. “Well, I’m not. He works at my dad’s shop. We’ve been friends, and only friends, for a year. We hang out, and he’s in love with someone else. Your turn.”
“I’m not with Val. We broke up, and I moved home. End of story.”
“So...you’re not waiting for her? Using me until she comes back?”
He looks right into my eyes. “No.”
He’s telling the truth. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. “I hate to sound like such a girl, but what are we? Are we together? Are we just seeing each other? I like you a lot. I just need to know.” I shake my head and look down. I feel embarrassed asking him this. I didn’t want to bethat girl.
“I think it’s fair to get some answers. I want you to be mine. You had mentioned needing time to heal, because of Alec, and I wanted to give you all the time you needed.”
Wow!
“You are so dumb,” I say, smiling. “I’ve been over him since the first night we stayed up until two in the morning doing nothing but talking.”
He looks happy. “Is this what you want?” His face changes to a serious expression. “Because this is what I want. I really do. When I think of you, I see…I see a future.”
My heart melts. That’s exactly what I see. “Yes. Yes, I want this. I want the same thing.”
He puts his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for another kiss.
Chapter 5
After a week ofofficially dating, things pick up pace between Logan and I. Our kisses are hotter...heavier, but no sex yet. It's fun and exciting, and things seem hotter without actual intercourse than they ever did with Alec. I love that he’s being so patient with me.
But I want more.
I'm not what you would consider a shy person, and I really like him, but I'm slowly starting to feel nervous around him, and I’m unsure of how to act. I’m trying to get past these emotions and embrace the happiness I have right now, but I can’t escape the feeling that this relationship won’t last.
After movie dates on the couch, endless conversation, and nights of fooling around, I am ready. I want to give him what only one man has had before.
It is now Friday, and I have the night off. Even though I prefer to stay home, Draven is playing, so we decide to go see them. As we pull in and step out of the car, Logan grabs my hand and leads me to the double doors, holding them open for me as we enter.
Draven has already started. The heavy metal music fills the bar, and the place is packed. I can't believe they didn't schedule me to work tonight.
Logan guides me through the crowd with his arm around my shoulders as if letting everyone in the place know I was his. He leans towards me and shouts in my ear, "Why don't you see if you can find a table, and I'll get us something to drink."
"Sure!" I yell back.
He kisses me on the forehead and goes towards the bar. I walk toward the band and give Zach a wave as I make my way toward a small empty table in the back and sit down. I pull out my phone to send Cassidy a text right as someone sits across from me. I look up expecting to see Logan, but instead I am looking at a girl. She is about my age with dark brown hair pinned in a cute up-do and hazel eyes. She looks as if she could be a model. Recognition dawns on me as I realize she’s one of the girls who is always sitting with Holly. What can she possibly want with me?
"So you're Wren?"
"Yup."
“I’m Kate. So nice to finally meet you!” she exclaims.
“Yes. Hi.” I really don’t know why she is being so nice to me. If she is friends with Holly, I’m not sure if I can trust her.
"So what's up with you and Logan?" There it is.
"What do you mean?" If she is going to be vague, so am I.
"I mean, are you two, like, together, or what?” she asks.
"Uh..." was all I say before Logan approaches and answers for me.
"She’s my girlfriend if that's what you want to know."
“OMG, Logan!” she squeals as she jumps up, throwing her arms around him. "I just wanted to meet your new…friend. I got exactly what I needed to know. She’s a doll. I’ll see you two around!" she says as she glances down at me, then smiles at Logan before walking away and disappearing into the crowd.
"What did she want?" Logan asks, sitting down and handing me a soda.
Jealousy instantly sets in. "How do you know her?"
"She’s Holly’s friend. Jack and Holly dated for years. They were quite the pair, but they had a messed up relationship. Holly still likes to come to all the shows, and recently started bringing Kate with her."
"She’s really pretty," I reply.
“Yeah, she’s okay. So what have you got going on next week?” He seems completely unaware that I’m upset about everything that has just happened, including his obliviousness.
I take a sip. “Um, nothing, I guess.”
Fortunately, Logan and I aren’t interrupted again, and I slowly get over my irritation as we sit by each other and watch Draven play.
As we start to leave the bar at closing time, I finally see Cassidy.
"I'm not coming home tonight. I'm going to Jack's."
I can't help but smile, knowing Logan and I will finally be alone. I've been going over it in my head repeatedly; I’m ready for this. I want him so badly.
Entering my house, I put my keys and purse on the floor and immediately open the refrigerator, asking him if he wants anything. As I bend down to grab a bottle of water, his warm hands grasp my hips, and I turn around, his mouth pushing roughly against mine with a kiss that is demanding and full of need. I drop the water bottle and throw my hands around his neck, my fingers making their way into his hair. He lifts me up on the counter, standing between my legs, and his mouth is on mine again.
He must have the same idea in his head that I do.
His fingers move down towards my waist as he reaches for the bottom of my shirt. I lean back, giving him room to pull it over my head. He tosses it on the floor and comes back in for another kiss as his hands caress my breasts. My hands
are still in his hair, and my head falls back as I gasp for air.
This is going to happen.
He stops kissing me long enough to take his own shirt off. I have another blessed opportunity to stare at his chiseled chest and defined abs again.So sexy. I can’t get enough of the tattoos on his biceps that go up and around his shoulders.
I reach forward to unbutton his jeans, but, he lifts me off the counter and heads towards the stairs, kissing me the entire way. We’re halfway up to my room, when he trips and falls. Even though I land hard on my back, we both can’t stop laughing. He's on top of me, but instead of helping me up, he starts kissing me again as if nothing happened. I wrap my legs around him to get as close to him as I can, ignoring the edge of the step digging into my lower back. I bring my hand down to start unbuttoning his jeans again, when he grabs my ass with both hands, picks me up, and carries me into my room.
Still kissing, he shuts my door and slams my back into it. I cry out in surprised pleasure as he reaches over and locks it. He finally brings me over to the bed where he lays me down gently, gazing down at me. Staring into my eyes, he unbuttons my jeans before unzipping them. Grabbing the belt loops, he slowly starts sliding them down my legs until they are on the floor. He places his foot on the floor and stands up slightly as he undoes his own, throwing them next to mine.
He's perfect.
He lays over me and looks down, brushing hair away from my face. He starts kissing me again, and whispers, "I want you so bad."
"Then take me," I whisper back.
I want this, every day, for the rest of my life.
He kisses my forehead before collapsing next to me, then holds his arm out, inviting me to him. I lay my head on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat, knowing mine is beating just as fast.
*****
I wake up the next morning being spooned by Logan. All the memories of last night come flooding back to me. That was, by far, the hottest sex I’ve ever had in my life.
I throw my legs over the side of the bed and make my way to the bathroom, still naked. My legs are shaking the entire time. Jell-O legs. I’ve never had these, and I like it. Walking back to my bed, I look at the gorgeous man still lying there. He’s awake and watching me. The vulnerability I should feel has been replaced with a newfound confidence. As he continues watching me walk back across the room, he smiles one of his half smiles. "Hey you."