by Emma Slate
“I’m terrified I’m going to cock up this parenting thing and that wouldn’t change even if you were here. We have a baby nurse and a housekeeper and SINS wives have reached out to make it clear they are here if I need any help. Some have stopped by because they’re Scottish and nosy, but they’ve got the best hearts.” My eyes burned with tears. I never knew what was going to set me off.
Taking a seat on the couch, I stared at the flames in the fireplace. “How are things in London?”
“Lord Arlington claims not to know anything.”
“Do you believe him?”
“Well, I got him drunk and laid and he still claimed not to know anything. I wish you were here. Two pairs of eyes are better than one.”
“You need me for my eyes, huh? And here I just thought I was a hot piece of ass.”
“You are still that—even if your arse if just a wee bit bigger. Just means there’s more to grab onto.”
“You’re like a modern Robert Burns, you know that?”
“I try.”
“Do you really think Lord Arlington is our way in? I mean, do you really think he knows who was behind the attack?”
“I think any man that can be bought has no belief in loyalty.”
“So maybe someone else is greasing his palms to keep him quiet.”
“That’s what I think.”
I paused. “Does Lord Arlington have any children?”
“Three girls.”
I fell silent and let him come to the conclusion I was already thinking.
“I won’t, Barrett—”
“I know you wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt a child,” I interrupted. “But he doesn’t know that. I assume his wife already knows about his indiscretions, so we can’t use that to hold over his head. You’ve got to hit him where it hurts.”
“Sometimes I don’t even know who you are,” he said in amazement. “And I mean that in a good way.”
I was glad he liked it. Sometimes I couldn’t stand the ugly parts of myself. My mind never used to work this way, now it was just natural.
“If he knows who killed Malcolm, we have to use every tool we have,” I said. I didn’t need to tell him that whoever had killed Malcolm and had almost taken out Duncan might come back to finish the job.
But how did you fight an enemy you didn’t know?
Chapter 7
Three days later my best friend stood on my front porch. “My fiancé is driving me insane,” Ash said the moment I opened the front door.
“And you thought coming to hang out with me—your sleep deprived best friend—was a better option?”
Ash rolled her eyes and stepped across the threshold into the foyer. I shivered from the blast of cold air and quickly closed the door.
“Tea?” I asked her.
“I was hoping for something stronger,” Ash admitted. She followed me into the kitchen and went immediately to counter where Flynn and I kept a decent liquor collection.
I put on water for tea and asked, “So Duncan is driving you crazy?”
“Yes.” Ash poured herself a glass of Balvenie DoubleWood and sat down at the kitchen table. “You look exhausted.”
“Thank you. Perils of having a newborn. And being the only parent at home for the time being.”
Ash groaned. “I’m an insensitive ass.”
“‘Arse,’” I corrected with a grin, but ruefully shook my head. “You’re not. Your fiancé was shot and almost died. We buried his father two weeks ago.” I nearly choked trying to get the words out. “You’ve had to postpone your wedding.”
“Okay, but I still feel really selfish.”
“Don’t.”
The teakettle whistled, and I made myself a cup of chamomile before sinking into a kitchen chair. “So, why is Duncan driving you insane?”
“Instead of resting, he stays up wanting to discuss all the possible theories of who was behind the shooting. He hasn’t grieved for his father—he’s completely in denial about it.”
“He’s not in denial, he’s in anger,” I said. “He won’t feel the loss of Malcolm until he knows who is responsible.”
She shook her head. “I used to think you were crazy. For choosing to be with Flynn, knowing all of this, willingly putting yourself in danger.”
“And then you met Duncan.”
“And then I met Duncan. Still, I’m not like you. I freeze, Barrett. You have this—I don’t know… I could almost believe you were cut out for this kind of life.” She looked out the window and grimaced. “We basically live in Seattle. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, but at least here we get to listen to lilting brogues and our men wear kilts. And they make adorable babies.”
Ash grinned. “Yeah, you’re right. Hawk is adorable.”
“He’s perfect,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s go look in on him.”
Ash finished her drink, and we headed upstairs to the nursery. Mrs. Keith, a grandmotherly woman sat in the rocking chair, knitting.
“You’re kidding, right?” Ash demanded in a whisper.
“The woman has knitted booties for every one of her ten grandchildren. She could do it in her sleep,” I replied. It was one of the many reasons I was comfortable with her watching Hawk. Her experience with children—not the knitting. She was incredibly helpful and when she imparted her many years of wisdom, she didn’t make me feel at all stupid when I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. I was a new mother without any female members of my family to help me. If it hadn’t been for Mrs. Keith, I would’ve been scared to give Hawk his first bath.
Mrs. Keith looked up from her knitting needles, the rims of her gold spectacles gleaming in the low light. She smiled. “Hello, dearie.”
“Hi, Mrs. Keith,” I greeted, tiptoeing towards the crib. “How’s Hawk?”
“Sleeping soundly,” she said. “Though probably time for another feeding.”
“Why don’t you go make yourself a cup of tea and stretch your legs,” I suggested.
Mrs. Keith set aside her knitting before heaving her ample form out of the rocking chair. “He’s such a sweet lad.”
I smiled. “Thank you. I think so.” I reached into the crib and lifted my son into my arms before taking him to the changing table.
“He’s bigger,” Ash said.
“Yes,” I agreed.
“I’m going to go wash my hands and then I’m holding him after you feed him.” She looked at him, “Jeez, he really might be the most perfect baby I’ve ever seen.”
I chuckled. “Wait until you have your own. You’ll rethink that.”
I felt a warm body slide into bed next to me. “You’re home,” I murmured.
“Did I wake you?” Flynn asked, reaching out for me.
“No, I was dozing.” I snuggled against him, trying to find his mouth in the dark. “I’m so glad you’re home. What time is it?”
“Three AM.”
“You didn’t want to stay another night in London?”
“I wanted to sleep next to my wife.”
Flynn’s hand ran down my back and I shivered in delight. I reached for him under the covers, grasping his hard, firm length. He moaned.
“Don’t torture me,” he gasped.
“I thought you liked it when I tortured you,” I teased, my lips trailing across his firm, sculpted chest.
“Usually. But you can’t—we can’t—”
“I want to take care of you,” I said. I tugged off the covers so that I could see him. He was beautiful—sleek muscle, hard lines, warrior scars.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive.”
I pressed my lips to the raised scar under his right clavicle. He was riddled with scars, at least two of them from bullets.
His breathing harshened when I nipped my way lower. I slid my lips over him, taking him into the wet heat of my mouth. Swirling my tongue around his shaft and gently skimming my fingertips along his thighs, I drew out his pleasure in the way I knew he liked. His hands wov
e their way into my hair.
“Barrett,” he whispered.
I sucked and teased; I prolonged his sweet agony until I pushed him over the edge and felt his release in my mouth. He let out a satisfied sigh as I settled next to him.
“Thank you,” he said. “How long before—”
“Another month.”
“Damn it.”
A vigorous cry sounded through the baby monitor and I climbed out of bed, reaching for the robe on the chair in the corner.
“I’ll come with you.”
I smiled at him as he climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxers. “Your turn to change him. You have two weeks to make up for.”
Flynn chuckled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me out of our bedroom. Though we lived in a small castle, I’d put my foot down about Hawk having his own wing. He would grow up privileged, but he didn’t need to be spoiled. His nursery was the room next to ours.
After I turned the light on low, I settled myself in the rocking chair as Flynn stood over the crib, lifting Hawk into his arms. Flynn took him to the changing table and put Hawk in a fresh diaper. My son continued to howl like a baying wolf and didn’t quiet until I put him to my breast.
“Is he sleeping more during the night?” Flynn asked, gazing down at us.
“Sure.”
Flynn chuckled.
I stroked a finger down the curve of Hawk’s cheek before leaning down to smell that perfect baby smell.
“You know you’re a natural mother, right?” he said.
I smiled up at him. “Nah, Hawk makes it easy.”
“For someone who didn’t want bairns, you’re settling into motherhood like you always wanted it.”
“Strange, right? But let’s not talk about that. Catch me up. Tell me about Lord Arlington.” I switched Hawk to my other breast and then focused on Flynn.
“He genuinely doesn’t know anything,” Flynn said. “And men in fear tend to babble. There was no babbling. But he did promise to keep his ear to the ground.”
I snorted. “How much is that going to cost?”
“Enough.”
“Hmm. Well, I guess it’s good that he has a monetary price. It means we’ll get information. Eventually.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to tell Duncan and Ramsey,” Flynn admitted. “I have no news for them.”
I didn’t give him placating words because they wouldn’t have helped and they would’ve been a lie. “Do we have any other information sources?”
“A few in the Highlands—allies of the SINS, but they’re Scottish.”
“Which means what?”
“It means they take their sweet time admitting anything. Scots do everything in their own time.”
“So we’re back to waiting.”
“Have you noticed anything unusual?” Flynn asked. “While I was gone?”
I shook my head. “No. Then again, I’ve been inside with Hawk. You should check in with the security team you have stationed around the castle and grounds.”
“I’ve been getting daily briefs.”
Hawk finished nursing and then fell right to sleep. I set him in his crib and then tiredly trudged back to bed. I’d be up in another few hours to do it all over again, but at least Mrs. Keith would arrive at ten in the morning to help me.
Flynn took me into his arms and I pressed my cheek to his warm chest. His fingers rubbed circles on my neck and I closed my eyes.
“There’s not a trail,” Flynn whispered. “What do I do if I can’t find a trail?”
“There’s always a trail,” I murmured. “Who stands to lose the most if the SINS succeed and Scotland gains its independence?”
Chapter 8
I woke up a few hours later to weak sunlight battling its way through gray clouds. Flynn wasn’t in bed next to me and the baby monitor wasn’t on the bedside table. Taking advantage of a brief moment to attend to my needs first and Hawk’s second, I took the world’s fastest shower. After putting on clean clothes and twirling my wet hair up into a messy bun, I reached for my glasses. I hadn’t worn contacts since Hawk had been born.
When I went into the nursery, I was surprised to find Hawk awake because he was quiet, staring at the mobile overhead. I leaned over the crib to pick him up and kissed his nose. I strapped him into the baby sling and carried him downstairs with the intention of finding Flynn. He was in his study, hair askew, eyes bloodshot. His nervous energy was palpable. I noticed the three mugs on his desk and realized the reason for his frenetic state. The missing baby monitor at the corner of his desk acted as a paperweight for a stack of papers.
“Morning,” I said from the doorway.
“Come in,” he said. “Come look at this.”
I went into his sanctuary and immediately saw the far wall covered in notecards, Post-its, and photographs. “A person of interest wall, huh?” I asked.
Flynn kissed me quickly and smiled down at Hawk. “How’s our boy?”
“He’s good,” I said distractedly. I gestured with my chin to the wall. “Explain.”
“These are all the groups who could’ve been behind the attack.”
“There’s not as many as I thought there would be,” I admitted. “Are they all political?”
He nodded. “I don’t believe the attack was a personal vendetta against Malcolm. These groups are domestic enemies. Other Scottish organizations that have had beef with us in the past.”
“For or against an independent Scotland?” I asked.
Hawk made a noise, but I immediately started to rock him. He quieted immediately.
“Both.”
I sighed. “So, still a lot of different trails to follow. Why would another organization who also wants a free Scotland attack the SINS?”
“At this point, I don’t know. Maybe people don’t like the way we handle things? Maybe because we’re the largest organization and the best equipped and someone doesn’t want us to take all the credit for freeing Scotland? I still don’t know. But this—” he pointed to the wall—“made me feel useful.”
“Have you slept?” I asked.
“No. As soon as you fell asleep, I climbed out of bed, my mind working overtime.” He ran a hand across his stubbly jaw.
“Okay. You need a break.”
“I’m fine. I just need more coffee.”
“Flynn—”
His gaze darkened. “I’m acting leader of the SINS. It falls to me to find out who’s out to stop us.”
“I know that, but you have to take care of yourself, too.”
“You’re my wife, not my mother.”
I smiled, but it wasn’t pretty. “I’m supposed to be the overtired, irrational one.”
Flynn’s jaw unclenched, and he gave a rueful shake of his head. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re under a lot of stress. I know that. I’m just trying to take care of you because I know you’re trying to take care of everyone and everything. I’d never challenge your authority in front of anyone. I know how the SINS operates and I’ve accepted the antiquated patriarchal edicts in public. But we’re in our own home and there’s no one here but you and me. Let me take care of you.”
Flynn touched my cheek and then leaned in to kiss me. “Aye. I’ll let you take care of me.”
I turned my face so I could kiss his palm. “Food. Then bed.”
Flynn and I got ready to leave the mess of his study but then his cell phone rang. He plucked it off the desk and answered it. “Campbell,” he said.
He listened for a moment, his eyes widening as he looked at me. “Aye,” he said to other person on the end of the phone. “I’ll be in touch.” He hung up, his mouth pulling into a grin.
“What just happened?”
“If you promise me one of your amazing omelets, I’ll tell you.”
I gaped at Flynn. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” Flynn said calmly as he pushed away his empty plate.
Hawk w
as asleep upstairs, far enough away not to be disturbed when his parents got into a loud and heated argument, because it was about to get loud and very heated.
Sputtering in shock, I tried to speak but found I couldn’t.
“I need you,” Flynn said.
“I can’t go,” I said. “We have a two week old baby.”
“I’m aware. But this is important, too.”
“More important than our newborn son?”
“Don’t do that to me, Barrett,” Flynn said quietly.
I sighed and shook my head, a lump of guilt in my belly. “Sorry,” I apologized. “That was unfair of me. Can’t you take Ash with you? She’s technically going to be wife of the leader. She needs to learn how do these sorts of things.”
“There’s no one I trust more than you, Barrett. Besides, you’re a Scottish history buff—and you’re a red head.”
I blinked. “I didn’t know those two things went hand in hand.”
“You’re sexy, and you know how to get men to talk. That was my point.”
Wrinkling my nose at him, I shook my head in disbelief. It was hard to feel sexy when you had to wear a nursing bra. “This conversation is not making any sort of sense to me. And maybe that’s because I’m a new mother and I’m sleep deprived and my hormones are completely out of whack. I also have minimal brain function.”
“Your minimal brain function is more than most people’s full brain function.”
“How would we even do this?” I demanded.
“Arlington would take you as his date.”
“And you’d what? Sneak in past security?”
“Of course not. I’d pay them off.”
“Why couldn’t we go in together?”
“Because people recognize my face. People don’t recognize you. Not yet. Elliot will have no idea who you really are. We can take the plane to London and then fly back that same evening. We’ll only be leaving Hawk for a few hours.”
Leave Hawk? How was I supposed to leave Hawk? When he was in a different room, I felt separation anxiety. I spent so much time staring at him, making sure I was there when he needed me. And now I had to leave him for hours at a time?
“I know Hawk needs you,” Flynn said.