by Jeff Shelby
He was savvy for such a young kid.
I liked him.
The heavy traffic buzzed by on the highway, pushing waves of thick, humid air in our direction. The condos on the other side blocked my view of the Gulf.
“Do you have any kids?” he asked.
“Nope.”
“How come?”
I shifted in the chair. “Well, I’m not married.”
He squinted at me. “My mom’s not married.”
Again. Savvy.
“I guess I just haven’t met someone I wanna have kids with.” I swallowed against the lump that suddenly formed in my throat.
He nodded like that made sense. “Do you like Spongebob?”
I couldn’t help but smile at his pin-balling between subjects. “I do like Spongebob.”
“Maybe you could watch with me sometime?”
“Sure.”
Bella returned to the table with a red plastic tray overflowing with food. Jackson bounced with excitement as she pulled his burger and fries from the bag. He unwrapped the burger and took as big of a bite as his tiny mouth would allow.
She laughed. “He’s not one for waiting.”
“He’s hungry.”
She set my food in front of me. “He’s always hungry. Eats like a piranha. I think all boys do. Little ones, anyway.”
Jackson continued to devour the burger, oblivious to her words.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I said. “But thank you.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Again. For helping Jackson. And for the parking lot stuff.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant. Was she thanking me for bringing Jackson to her? For breaking Colin’s finger? I didn’t want to ask.
Bella took a bite of her hamburger and stared at me while she chewed.
It unnerved me. “What?”
“There are all these stories about you,” she said. “Out on the beach. Because you aren’t from here. All us locals notice when someone new shows up. And then love to run our mouths.”
I felt the slight stab of panic I always felt when someone alluded to the fact that I was drawing attention of any kind. “Oh yeah?”
“Oh yeah,” she said, folding the paper around the sandwich. “I’ve heard all sorts of things about you.”
“Like?”
She took a small bite and thought for a moment. “That you’re in the witness protection program. That you’re homeless. That you’re from New York. That you can’t swim.”
The panic subsided. “Ah.”
She set the sandwich down. “I didn’t say people around here were smart.”
I laughed and wiped at my mouth with a napkin. The burger was good. Far better than McDonald’s.
“I heard you were an alien,” Jackson said, ketchup dripping down his chin.
“Not an alien, I promise,” I said.
“Darn,” he said. “I wanted to see your spaceship.”
“Just eat, Jackson,” Bella said, shaking her head. “And just so you know, I don’t care and I’m not looking for an answer. I just thought you should know.”
“Thanks.”
“But I find it hard to believe you can’t swim. Working on a beach and all.”
I shrugged but didn’t answer. I stayed away from the water, so I could see how people might get that impression. I could swim. I just chose not to.
“What restaurant do you work at?” I asked, looking to change the subject to anything but me.
She made a face. “Stupid seafood place up the highway. Tourist trap.”
“Been there awhile?”
She took another bite of the sandwich and squinted into the sun. “Six months, I think? Seems like forever. But it’s a job and I need one.” She motioned at her son. “He eats like a gorilla.”
Jackson licked ketchup off his fingers, then grabbed another handful of fries.
“I gotta start looking for something else, though,” she said.
“Why’s that?”
She took a long sip from her drink. “Just to make ends meet.” She glanced at me. “It’s only part-time and money’s tight. We’re okay, but I don’t like that it’s so tight.”
I nodded. “Where does he go when you’re working?”
“During the school year, I work during the day when he’s in school. During the summer, he comes with me,” she said, frowning. “I can’t afford daycare and I don’t really want him going to one. My manager is cool. She lets me set him up in a back booth and he’s pretty good.” She smiled. “Actually, he’s really good.”
Jackson lifted up the fry bag and emptied the last few into his mouth.
“What did Colin want, Mommy?” he asked, out of the blue.
“Except when he asks questions,” Bella muttered, her cheeks flushing a little. Louder, she said, “Nothing, Jax. We just needed to talk.”
“About what?” I asked.
The blush deepened and she looked away. “Nothing, really.”
It wasn’t any of my business. I knew that. But I couldn’t help looking at Jackson and feeling that a kid like that didn’t belong anywhere within a hundred miles of that asshole in the parking lot. And if he was asking questions, there was something going on. Something a hell of a lot bigger than nothing.
“It didn’t seem like nothing,” I said.
“He won’t bother you again,” she said quickly. She wadded up the empty sandwich wrapper and dropped it in the paper bag. “I promise.”
“I don’t need you to promise that,” I said. “I can handle him. But it seemed like more than nothing.”
She set her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands, staring at her son as he tossed pieces of the hamburger bun to birds on the walk. I finished my food and sat there quietly, watching both of them.
“It isn’t nothing,” she finally said. “But sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to do. Because we have to. Because there aren’t a whole lot of other options. That make any sense?”
I stared across the highway, watching the sun disappear behind the high-rises. Jackson chased after a bird and tumbled onto the grass next to the walk. I thought about Liz.
“Yeah,” I said. “Absolutely.”
EIGHT
“Do you mind if we make a quick stop?” Bella asked. “I promise it’ll just take a minute.”
“Sure,” I said. “No problem.”
We headed west on the highway, back toward Fort Walton Beach, the sky a mixture of pinks and blues as dusk settled in.
She pulled the car into the lot of a small strip mall and parked in front of a laundromat.
She squeezed the wheel with both hands and her shoulders dropped. “Meet my other employer.”
I could see long rows of washer and dryers on the other side of the dirty front window. “Here?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Couple days a week, Jackson and I sit in a tiny office and wait for people to tell me one of the machines ate their quarters.”
“Not a bad gig.”
She made a face. “Doesn’t pay much and it’s boring. I’m trying to find something else to replace it. I also do the bank runs. That’s what I need to do now, grab the bag so I can deposit it tomorrow morning.”
“Okay.”
She glanced in the back seat. “If he wakes up, tell him I’ll be right back.”
I twisted in my seat. Jackson’s head hung to the side, his eyes shut tight, his mouth wide open, sleeping soundly.
I smiled. “Will do.”
She got out and shut the door quietly.
I watched her pull the door to the laundromat open and disappear inside.
I liked Bella. I liked how she treated her son and I liked that she didn’t seem to mind working hard to take care of him. She was clearly anxious over her situation, but she also seemed to possess a confidence and determination that most people in her situation might not have.
Jackson stirred behind me and I turned around. He rolled his head from one side to the other and murmured something
that I couldn’t understand. His small hands twitched in his lap and he let out a long sigh before lapsing back into an even sleep. He looked like his mom and for one brief moment, I thought about Liz and what a child of hers might have looked like. A child of ours.
I whipped back around, trying to dislodge the image and thought, trying to focus on the building in front of me.
The door to the laundromat swung open.
And my heart stopped.
NINE
Zip had a white plastic laundry basket tucked under his arm as he exited the laundry mat. The mohawk was a little longer than when I’d last seen him, but the skinny build and ugly face were the same. Dirty cargo shirts hung from his waist and a gray tank top showed off his pipe-cleaner arms.
I froze when I saw him. I should’ve ducked. But he caught me by surprise. I was two-thousand miles away from San Diego and the last thing I expected was to see someone who knew me.
I’d gone to Fort Walton because it was a long way from San Diego and because Carter was able to put me in touch with Ike. I knew no one there and no one knew me. It seemed like a world away from everything I’d left behind.
But apparently it wasn’t.
I sat there, motionless, hoping he wouldn’t glance in my direction. Hoping he wouldn’t recognize me if he did look this way. Hoping he would keep moving to wherever he was headed.
But his eyes swept over the car and I read the recognition in them.
Shit.
He squinted at me, ducking his head to get a better look through the windshield. A weird smile crept over his face and he walked over to my window.
My heart jackhammered in my chest and my stomach dropped.
He held up a hand and waved.
I couldn’t roll down the window so I opened the door and stepped out.
“Noah?” he asked, a little disbelieving. “What’s up, man?”
“Nothing,” I said.
We weren’t friends. In fact, I barely knew him. The last time I’d seen him, Carter was threatening him within an inch of his life for ripping off Liz’s brother. We were barely acquaintances.
But he knew me.
His face clouded over and he peered around me into the car. “Carter’s not here, is he?”
“No. He’s not.”
The cloud lifted and he smiled again. “Oh, cool. So. What gives? Why are you here?”
I hesitated. “Just working a case.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? All the way out here? Thought you stayed pretty local.”
“Not always.”
“That’s cool,” he said, nodding. Then he narrowed his eyes. “I remember hearing some shit went down with you awhile back.”
“What are you doing down here?” I tried to redirect him.
He adjusted the basket under his arm. “Heading for Miami in a few days. Staying with a friend while I get my act together.”
I knew that his act used to involve drugs. I had no reason to assume that had changed.
“Ah, cool,” I said, glancing over his shoulder, looking for Bella.
She was nowhere to be seen.
“That your kid?” Zip asked, nodding at Jackson.
“No. A friend’s.”
He studied me for a long moment. There was something in his eyes that indicated he was trying to figure something out. I wasn’t just being paranoid. I could see it.
His eyes cleared and he nodded. “Ah, okay. Right on.”
We stood there awkwardly. I wasn’t sure what else he wanted from me and I sure as hell wasn’t going to give him any more information about why I was there or what I was doing.
The door to the laundromat opened and Bella emerged, holding a blue leather bag. She stopped when she saw us.
“You ready?” I asked.
She looked at Zip, confused, but nodded.
A dirty smile slithered across Zip’s face and I wanted to slap it away.
But I couldn’t take that chance.
“See you around,” I said, sliding back into the car.
His eyes stayed on Bella as she got behind the wheel, assessing. Finally, they settled back on me.
“Yeah,” he said, backing up. “See you around.”
TEN
“Are you okay?” Bella asked.
I stared out the passenger window as a million things ran through my mind.
I pulled my eyes from the blur of buildings going by and looked straight ahead. “Yeah.”
“You don’t seem okay,” she said, glancing over at me. “Who was that guy?”
“No one.”
“So I just imagined him?”
I didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s none of my business. I’ll shut up.”
I knew I was being rude, but I wasn’t sure what to say to her. Telling her who he was would lead to more questions. Questions I didn’t want asked, questions I knew I wouldn’t answer. I wasn’t even sure I could answer them.
“It’s okay,” I said, finally. “I just…he’s not someone I really know.”
“Well, he didn’t really look like someone you’d hang with,” she said.
That got out a smile out of me. “No?”
“You don’t seem like a mohawk kind of guy. Or a guy who hangs with crack addicts.” She laughed. “Sorry. I’m making assumptions.”
“Probably right ones. At least about the crack addicts.”
“But you do hang with mohawks?”
I thought about Carter and his hair and everything else about him. “You’d be surprised.”
She slowed down for a red light. “I think I would be.”
“What does that mean?”
She tapped her hands on the wheel, glanced in the backseat at her sleeping son then back at me. “I just think you aren’t who you seem to be.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but it once again set off internal warning bells. Did she know more about me than I thought? Or was she just talking to me, having a conversation? The ever-present paranoia was confusing and exhausting and I wasn’t sure I’d ever learn to live with it.
The light turned green and she pushed the accelerator. “That probably doesn’t even make sense.” She waved a hand in the air. “Just ignore me. I talk too much, anyway.”
“You don’t talk too much,” I said.
She laughed. “Yeah, I do and I know it, so it’s okay. My daddy said I didn’t talk until I was almost four years old, but once I started, I never shut up.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” I said. “Really.”
“I hope not,” she said. “But you can tell me to shut up if you need to.”
I didn’t say it out loud, but it was actually nice to hear someone else’s voice. It seemed like forever since I’d had a real conversation with someone. That was my fault and my choice, but listening to Bella talk reminded me that I wasn’t entirely okay with being alone. Just because I was learning to be alone didn’t mean I was any good at it.
“I don’t remember where to turn,” she said.
“Two more streets,” I said.
“Gotcha.” She nodded her head, her brown ponytail bobbing.
She found the street, turned right, and then we were sitting in front of the house, the car idling in the cul-de-sac.
“Thanks,” I said. “For dinner. And for talking.”
She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “For talking? I’ll bring a sock next time so you can shove it in my mouth.”
“Not necessary.”
The smile softened. “Thank you. Again. For Jackson today and just…you know.”
I pushed on the door and it swung open. I thought of Colin in the parking lot and some of her earlier comments about not having options. “If you need help. With anything. Let me know. I’ll be around.”
I got out of the car and shut the door.
Bella leaned across the passenger seat. “You gonna be around for awhile? In Fort Walton?”