When I open the door, the other one is already standing wide open, so I guess it’s okay for me to walk in. The sink is running in the bathroom, so she’s probably brushing her teeth or washing her face or something. I sit at the table and pull out my phone.
Carlyn comes out of the bathroom wearing my Frankfurt Junior Open T-shirt. She stops, looking a little guilty. “Sorry. It’s kind of become my favorite nightshirt. I was going to return it at the end of the summer.”
God, she looks good in that. “Don’t. It’s yours now.”
She smiles. “Thanks,” she says, walking over to the far side of the bed. She turns on the television and flips through all the channels, twice. “What about that Bourne movie on sixty-three?”
“That’s cool. I like those.”
She turns it on, and we start watching. She glances over at me a few minutes in. “Is that a comfortable chair?”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
“Are you going to sleep in it?”
I look at her. The last thing I want to do here is be presumptive. “Maybe.”
“Here.” She stacks pillows down the middle of the bed. “Pillow wall. It’s safe to come to bed.”
She’s right. I can’t sleep over here. And we are just watching a movie, nothing else. I stand and walk over, taking my time. I pull the covers back and sit against the headboard, putting my attention on the movie, but God only knows what’s going on. All I can think about is the destruction of this pillow wall.
The ridges in the headboard cut into my back, and I keep repositioning myself. I notice her doing the same thing. She pulls a pillow off the top row. “Sorry, the pillow wall is going to have to come down a level.” I wait a minute, and then take one, too.
We watch some more of the movie, and then she reaches over slowly and takes another pillow, acting like she’s being sneaky. I meet her gaze and she smiles, that sweet and mischievous smile. “Sorry,” she whispers. “I need one more.”
I glare at her, but a few minutes later, I go ahead and take the other one, and the wall has crumbled. The sound of a door shutting next door gets our attention. She turns to me. “They’re baa-aack.”
“Don’t remind me.” We watch the movie some more, and then it’s not long before a repetitive thumping noise sounds through the air like a tornado siren. I close my eyes, cringing.
She reaches over and pushes me. “Oh, don’t be such a prude. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, to the same girl, probably.”
“I haven’t slept with her.” It’s true, technically.
“But you have slept with others?” she asks, her eyebrow going up on one side.
“Maybe. What about you? What about speedcuber guy?”
She puts her head in her hand, and then looks at me, sort of wincing. “I’m not sure?”
“You’re not sure?”
“Well, we decided to, and we…undressed, and he sort of rolled over on top of me…and then…” She makes a motion with her hand, and then meets my gaze.
“He didn’t make it past the starting gate?”
She scratches just above her ear. “He made it near there.”
I hide my mouth with my hand. I can’t help but chuckle at this. Poor guy. I’ve been there, too, but I’ll never let her know that.
“I don’t think that’s the way it’s supposed to go down, is it?” she asks.
“Man, ace, you have had some seriously shitty firsts.”
She nudges me. “What, like my first kiss with you?” She’s lying. She’s got to be teasing. Because my first kiss with her was better than any sex I’ve ever had. I narrow my gaze at her, and she looks back at me in challenge, but a smile tries to break through.
“It was that bad, huh?”
“Excruciating,” she says.
“How so?”
She bites at her lower lip, and I can see now that she’s shaking just slightly, like she’s cold, or nervous. “I can’t really pinpoint it. I would have to have you try again if you really wanted me to analyze it.”
Someone in the room next door lets out a loud grunting noise, and we both struggle to keep a straight face, now somehow locked in a stare down.
“Is that how speed boy sounded?” I ask.
Laughter tugs at her lips, but she steadies them back into place. “It’s speedcuber boy.”
“I think speed boy fits better. Did that happen on your prom night?”
“No, I didn’t take him to my prom, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. You took that guy who was…what did you call him, a gentleman?”
“You’re just jealous because I didn’t take you.”
“I kind of am. Why didn’t you take me?”
She drops her head down to the side. “Even if you would have been in town, you would totally not have said yes if I asked you to prom a few months ago.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh, yes I do.”
She’s right. I wouldn’t have. But now, it’s hard to believe there ever was a time I wasn’t crazy about her. “Now that I know you, I wish I could have gone to prom with you.”
She gives me a thoughtful smile, and then her expression turns serious. “What’s it like, knowing you’re one of the best in the world?”
“Well, it’s pretty humbling, but I’m not sure there ever really was a competition. I mean, you know. I’ve kissed you.”
She pushes me playfully, and a warm feeling floods my chest. “I’m serious.”
I squirm a little, scratching the side of my head. “I don’t know.”
She gazes at me so intently it makes my ears burn. “It’s weird knowing you.”
“How’s that?” I ask, my voice coming out lower, the day wearing on me, finally.
“I feel like there’s different versions of you. There’s the guy whose name is on that international ranking list—the one who had giggly girls and impressed young guys excited to meet you today at the club, and then there’s this guy here with me talking about speedcuber guy.”
“Speed guy,” I say, smiling at her.
She grins back, biting her lip quickly, and then looks down at her lap. “It’s just weird.”
I reach over and take her hand in mine. “I’m only one guy, you know.”
She nods, not looking at me. “I know.”
I run my thumb over the top of her hand, and she closes her eyes. I want her so badly…not sex. I want exactly what this is now—the idea of us together but without the cloud over our heads.
“You intimidate me, you know,” I say.
She looks up at me, shocked. “What? How, possibly?”
“Everything about you. The way you are with the kids, the way you are with Nancy and Fred even. You’re so natural and kind…likable. I’m not likable.”
Her eyes go wide. “Are you kidding me? Look at you today.”
“Those people don’t like me. They don’t know me. They have some idea of who I am based on how I play tennis or what number I am in the rankings this month. I keep those people interested by playing better, stronger. You keep people interested in you by being your natural self. I envy that.”
She huffs a laugh. “That’s just crazy. You shouldn’t envy me for anything.”
I gaze at her. “I envy how smart you are. I’m not like that. I’ve been a jock my whole life. I’ve never been good at school.”
She rests her head against the bedframe. “I envy how confident you are. I’ve never had that assurance in myself, not on the court.”
I shake my head. “If you knew me when I played…if you knew the thoughts that go through my head when I’m on the court, you’d run from me, so fast. I have to be totally arrogant to keep my confidence on the court. You should hear the bullshit I feed myself to win.”
She smiles at me. “It works, doesn’t it?”
I smile back, and now I’m the one who needs to look away from her, my stomach full of nerves.
She squeezes my hand. “You should know by now, that there’s not much
you could do to make me run from you.”
I hold her gaze, neither of us backing off, and all I can think is fuck the no fraternizing, because I’m nuts about this girl. I turn my body toward her. “I’ve worked my ass off every day since I was a kid, training and playing hard, competing to be the very best, but of all that work I’ve done, nothing’s been harder than keeping my distance from you.” I trace on the back side of her hand. “I want to be with you all the time, even if it’s with sixteen kids running around us. Just knowing you’re there, knowing you’re in the area makes this part of me that always feels cold, warm.”
I realize how ridiculously cheesy that sounds, and I let go of her hand, ready to roll off this bed and go kick the two of them out of my room next door.
“No,” she says, grabbing my arm. I turn back to her, and she’s not smiling anymore. She gazes at me like she has a thousand things to say but can’t figure out which to start with. She hikes her leg over mine, straddling me, and there’s no way I’m stopping her from whatever she’s about to do. She puts her hands on either side of my face, sort of searching my eyes. “That thing you just said…about the cold going warm. I know that thing.”
I let out a breath, my whole body relaxing and tensing up somehow all at once.
She looks down at her thighs, split and flanking my legs on either side. “I realize what I’m doing now is totally inappropriate, even you’re being in this room is, and I don’t want to put you at risk with the camp or with Avery, but I want this with you, Vaughn. I don’t care if we never have sex or even kiss again. Well, I’d actually very much like to kiss you again. But if we can’t, that’s okay. I just want to be with you. I want what you do to those cold places in me.”
I don’t know who makes the first move—I’m pretty sure it’s simultaneous—but we’re kissing, like crazy. I keep my hands anchored to her waist, desperate to move them somewhere else, anywhere on her body will do, but as much as I want that, I have something to prove to myself. Damn Nancy, getting in my head.
I don’t know if Carlyn realizes it, but she’s sort of moving up and down on my lap, and it doesn’t take long at all for my middle to get the signals.
She moves away, looking down. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. Just ignore it. It’ll go away,” I lie.
She rolls off me, and we find our middle ground lying on our sides, facing each other. We kiss more, and more, and then some more, me squeezing her T-shirt in a ball in my hand to keep from doing anything else.
“Careful there,” she whispers. “Don’t mess up my favorite T-shirt.”
I run my hands up her back and pull her close to me. I just want her close. I just want her near my heart.
She pulls away and nudges into me, fitting my body like a glove. I hold her there, and we don’t say anything else, enough having been said for one really perfect night.
Chapter Nineteen
Carlyn
Vaughn and I sit on opposite sides of the picnic table that separates our two cabins, tennis racquets by our sides as we wait for Jeffrey to show. Vaughn bumps my foot with his, and I bump it back. He grins at me, and then wipes the smile off his face.
This is us now. Footsy at the picnic table. This is as far as our physical relationship has progressed since Chicago two weeks ago. I had been really hoping we could find pockets of time here and there, but it’s been nonstop with the kids, and when they aren’t around, Fred is. I’m not sure if Nancy said something to him or not, but either way, I think he’s onto us.
“Fifth round of campers arrives today,” Vaughn says, stating the obvious.
“Halfway through.”
Vaughn nods. “How was your time with your dad yesterday?”
“Good. He took me shopping for clothes at a little boutique on the town square.”
“Do you like shopping?” he asks.
I give him a look. “Do I dress like I like shopping?”
“I like the way you dress.”
I grin. “You just like the fact that I wear a bathing suit every afternoon.”
“I’m not denying that.”
I smile, and then glance over at the house to make sure nobody’s coming around. I lean in. “For the record, I like it when you wear your bathing suit, too.” He shuts his eyes and grabs a lock of his hair, letting out a grunt. I bump his foot again. “The feeling is mutual.”
He looks up at me, his expression dead serious. “I need to hang out with you.”
“Is that not what we’re doing now?”
“No,” he says, dragging the word out.
Fred comes out of the house looking presentable in tan dress pants, a button-down, and no straw hat. Vaughn and I meet each other’s gazes, eyes wide. “What’s that about?” I ask.
“No clue.”
Fred stops, and then turns to us and yells. “Jeffrey still not here?”
“He’s running late,” Vaughn says. “He’s like ten minutes out, I’m guessing.”
He stands there looking confused, and then checks his watch. Nancy comes out in a Sunday dress, purse on her shoulder, and meets up with him. They argue about something, Nancy tossing an arm in our direction, and then putting her hands on her hips. Fred walks our way, and Nancy comes behind him, frowning.
“Ten minutes, you say?” Fred asks.
“Yeah,” Vaughn replies. “What’s up?”
Fred lets out an agitated breath. “We’re due at the church in town. Our friend’s granddaughter’s getting baptized.”
We both nod in confirmation, but Fred just stares at Vaughn. “If we wait much later, the sermon will be underway.”
“You better take off, then.” Vaughn would be an excellent poker player.
Nancy tugs at his arm. “Fred, come on, babe. Jeffrey’s gonna pull up any minute. What are they going to do, burn the place down?” She turns to Vaughn. “They can be trusted in our ten-minute absence until Jeffrey arrives, right, Vaughn?” It’s an order, not a request.
Vaughn shrugs like he’s totally confused. “Of course. We’re just sitting here.”
Oh, he’s good.
Fred frowns, looking between the two of us. I stay quiet. It’s best for everyone concerned in these situations. I’d be cleaned out in poker.
He checks his watch one more time. “All right. But don’t move from these seats until Jeffrey gets here. Got it?”
Vaughn shrugs again. “Got it.”
They hustle off, Nancy giving us a look over her shoulder. Neither of us says a word until the car is out of sight.
I’m the first to talk. “It could be a trick. They could turn around just up the road.”
“Nancy had on makeup,” Vaughn says.
“This is true. She wouldn’t bother herself with that for a trick.”
He lifts an eyebrow, and I know I’m in so much trouble. “Time’s a tickin’.”
I bite my lip, a wave of frenzy moving through my chest.
Vaughn gives the road one last look, and then he stands. “Let’s go to the court. Nobody can see us back there, and then when Jeffrey shows up, we’ll just be sitting there on the bench like nothing’s up.” He grabs my bag and his and takes off running in that direction.
“You’ve thought this through!” I shout as I follow him, checking the road one last time.
“This is what I do with my free time. Analyze situations where I can kiss you.”
I grin like mad. “Your analyzing skills need some work. I haven’t kissed you since Chicago.”
We make it to the court, and Vaughn sets the bags down by the bench. He grabs my shoulders, moving his hands down my upper arms while we both catch our breath. “I’ve missed touching you.”
I breathe hard. “I’ve missed your kiss.”
He doesn’t make me wait any longer, moving in and pressing his lips against mine. I conjure up all the breath I can get, not wanting to waste a second of kissing time, but finding it difficult to breathe. I move away from his mouth and trail kisses across his jawlin
e and down to his neck.
“Fuck,” he says, grabbing a fistful of my tennis skirt, sort of pulling it up. My tank is fitted, so he can’t really grab much of that.
“You taste like sunscreen,” I say with a giggle.
He nudges into my neck and starts kissing, and I close my eyes as I round my hands over his broad shoulders. “You taste like coconut,” he says into my neck.
I grin, mentally thanking Rebecca for turning me on to that particular fragrance of scented sunscreen. The sound of gravel crunching in the distance has us both cursing, even me.
He cups my face. “We have got to figure out how to do that again. Soon.”
I nod. “We totally will.”
We peel ourselves away from one another, adjusting our clothes and hair. “Grab your racquet,” he says. And we both do. He opens a new can of balls, and we separate to opposite sides of the court.
Jeffrey comes through the tree line, head down in his phone, and we hit like we’ve been at it for a half hour. He sets his bag down near ours. “Good. Glad you warmed each other up.”
We both try desperately not to smile.
…
After our workout, Vaughn and I are sitting on the bench, dousing ourselves in water when Jeffrey saunters over to us. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Avery’s putting on a mixed doubles tournament. They want to do a little promo video on their website. I offered you two against Slade and Trinity. I thought we’d do it here. Tack on a little PSA about the work you’re doing at the camp for some good PR. Sound all right?”
I freeze. No, this is not good. “Um, I’m not sure I’m ready.”
Jeffrey waves me off. “It’s fine. It’s not for anything important.”
I glance at Vaughn to gauge him, and to my dismay, his expression is of concern. “Are they filming a whole match or just shots here and there?”
“They want to get a whole match, just in case. It’s no big deal, though.” He checks his phone. “All right. I’ll have my assistant work out the details. She’ll text you, Vaughn.” Jeffrey strides off the court, leaving us there, sweaty and uneasy.
My defenses go up. “You know I’m a lot better than I was last time we did this.”
Courting Carlyn Page 14