“No, and I really don’t want to talk to him about that anymore.”
“Why?”
“It’s just that, I think he really likes me.”
“And that’s a shocker?”
“Well, yeah, actually.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “You do realize it only benefits me to be here if Vaughn is planning to go pro. If he’s going to Avery and not planning to get on the tour, I’m not his coach anymore. He’ll be under the instruction of the Avery coach.” He tosses up his hands, glancing around my room as if the answer’s somewhere. “I may as well go ahead and focus my efforts elsewhere.”
My chest goes panicky. “You mean leave the camp…and Vaughn for good?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I’ve got to make a living, Carlyn. His dad’s not paying me anymore. I’m here on my own time, and on faith that he will come to his senses and change his mind.”
“Does Vaughn know his dad isn’t paying you anymore?”
“Probably not. He’s never been involved in that. I don’t care for him to know, either. I don’t want him sending me away, feeling guilty about it. I’m here because I want to be here, for him.”
I nod, looking away. If Vaughn doesn’t go pro, he loses Jeffrey, and that’s the only parental figure he has. I wonder if he’s really thought about that. Jeffrey will move on from him once he starts Avery. He’ll have to.
“Look, Carlyn, if you care about Vaughn, you’ll do this for him. He doesn’t know what he wants. Ask him. See what he plans to study. Ask him where his passions lie.” He holds up his hands. “If he tells you he’s taken an interest in business or art or anything, I don’t give a shit what, I’ll back off. I swear. But if he doesn’t have anything driving him other than a sense of staying grounded here in Indiana, he’s going to make the worst mistake of his life.” Jeffrey steps closer to me, steadying himself on the table. “He’s great, Carlyn. He’s got the most potential I’ve ever seen in thirty plus years on the court. He could be the next great American tennis player. Do you understand what that means?”
I swipe at my eyes and nod, feeling the weight of the country on my shoulders. Vaughn Yarborough, the next great American tennis player, as long as I make it happen.
Jeffrey pats me on the back awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry to put this on you. God, I just wish he’d listen to me.”
I step back and look at Jeffrey, the desperation on his face. “Do you love Vaughn…like a son?”
He stares at me, the question rolling around in his brain. He nods. “I do. He’s the only son I’ve ever had.”
As much as I struggle with the legitimacy of Jeffrey’s motives, looking at him now, I believe he’s asking me to do this for Vaughn and nothing else.
“Okay,” I say.
He closes his eyes, and then opens them up, a tiny smile on his face. “Thanks.”
“Out of curiosity, why did you set this match up today if it benefits Avery?”
He shrugs. “They asked for Vaughn, and I figured he’d want to do it. I’m not going to stop him from working with them or hide opportunities from him. And it’s a good way to get the PSA about his work at the camp on their dime. That’ll be good PR for him if he goes pro. Besides, I have a long-standing relationship with the university and their tennis department, and I’d like to keep feeding that.” He lets out a deep breath. “I’m gonna go check on the crew.” He starts to walk out, and I stop him. He turns to me, eyebrows creased.
“How’s my progress, on the court?” I ask.
The look on his face tells me all I need to know, and my heart sinks down to my stomach.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do,” he says. “Keep practicing on the days I’m not here.”
I nod, and let him leave this time.
…
Trinity and I might as well step off the court. The match is between Vaughn and Slade, so much so that Jeffrey has to pull the two of them aside and tell them to ease up. We’re supposed to be smiling and acting like we’re having fun out here for the cameras, but Vaughn is the worst actor. Slade is better at the show of it all. He plays up the teammate camaraderie with Trinity. I’m sure Avery will use those shots for their promo for the mixed doubles tournament. The guy with the camera is coming back Monday to get shots of the kids in action at the camp for the PSA, thank God. Today isn’t Vaughn’s best day or mine.
After Vaughn and I take the first set, I pull him aside during the break. “I have an idea.”
He frowns, but this has been the look he’s had on his face ever since Slade and Trinity arrived here this morning, so I don’t take offense.
“How about we try to have fun this second set? This match doesn’t count for anything, and it’s not like we get to play together on the same team very often. Let me take some. If I could put one of Slade’s shots away at the net, it would really make my day.”
His face transforms and a smile breaks through. “Of course. I’m sorry.”
I narrow my gaze. “Hold that thought till we see how I do.”
Vaughn is so patient and takes a back seat, letting me have shots he easily could have taken. Slade, for his part, follows suit. But Trinity does not, and she’s better than me…way better. As the match progresses, I see why she’s DI material, and Vaughn’s suggestion of me going to a DII school, while hurtful, is really starting to sink in as something I need to consider.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Vaughn
I lay in my bed, listening to the hoot of that owl that goes at it this same time every night. Usually, he lulls me to sleep. Not tonight, though.
I can’t get the image of Carlyn on the bed with Trinity and Slade out of my mind. All I wanted to do was protect her…keep her away from whatever Slade had in his fucked-up mind.
A knock so quiet it’s barely perceptible sounds at my door. I walk over and open it just as quietly. Carlyn stands there, zipped up in a hoodie and pajama pants like on that first night, and I want nothing more than to gather her into my arms and never let go.
She tiptoes past me and waits for me to shut the door. I do so with the precision of someone on a bomb squad, and then turn back to her.
“I really don’t think they heard me,” she says. “I was over there earlier watching a movie, and they both passed out in their chairs.”
I go to the drawer and pull out a T-shirt, though I’d rather not. I’d prefer to hold her to my bare chest and fall asleep that way. I put on the shirt and then offer her a seat on my bed. She sits at the foot, legs crossed over one another. I sit at the head, but it’s a twin bed, so we’re not as far apart as we should be.
She stares at me. “I’m really sorry about today.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t you. It’s fucking Slade screwing with me any way he can.”
She narrows her gaze. “I mean on the court.”
“Oh,” I say, somehow having forgotten about us getting our asses kicked. “I don’t care about that.”
“Are you serious?”
“Well, I mean, I care. It’s just been a shitty day.”
She turns her head just a little to the side. “Something other than the bit with Slade earlier?”
I make a dismissive grunt and pick up the can of seltzer water from my nightstand. I look toward my little fridge on the kitchen countertop. “Do you want one?”
“No, thanks,” she says. I take a drink, and then study the can, not wanting to talk about anything. She scoots closer to me. “What’s going on, Vaughn?” When I don’t say anything, she takes the can from me and sets it down on the nightstand, then she reaches for my hands. “Tell me.”
“My dad texted me earlier today. He’s got a buyer for the house. They want to close in a few weeks.”
Her brow creases, and she squeezes my hands. “I’m so sorry.”
I nod, not knowing what else to do.
“Can you move into the dorms early at Avery?”
“I don’t know. He wants me to come down there and get to know
my brothers and sister.”
“That sounds…nice.”
“Who am I to them? It’s not like my stepmom makes me feel welcome around her. She stiffens and crosses her arms over her chest a lot…like I’m invading her space.” I look at Carlyn, who stares at me like she really cares, and it helps me continue. “Last time I went down there, my sister was sitting in my lap, having me read this story to her, and as soon as I finished it, Tori snatched her up off of me like I was some kind of predator or something. It really made me feel like shit.”
“You threaten her,” she says.
I toss up my hands. “How? I’m never fucking there. She’s got my dad all to her goddamned self. Not that I want him.” I rip a loose thread from the blanket that’s been bothering me all summer.
“You come from another life of your dad’s, and that’s scary to her. What’s your mom like?”
I consider that question, not wanting to sound too harsh. “Determined. Persistent.”
“Is she sweet? Kind?”
“Sometimes, but she’s more straightforward, blunt.”
“Is she pretty?”
I nod. “Yeah. She’s beautiful.” I pull up a picture on my phone and show it to Carlyn for proof.
“Wow,” Carlyn says. “You’re not kidding.”
I look at the picture of her and me outside of Westminster Abbey, which gives me a sense of pride and loss, all at once.
Carlyn points at my phone. “If I were your stepmother, I’d be intimidated by that woman.”
I narrow my gaze. “You think Tori’s intimidated by my mom?”
“By her, and you by default, maybe. Why don’t you go down to Memphis and see them before school starts? See if she’ll go to lunch with you by herself. Show her the side of you that you keep hidden from everyone else.”
“What side is that?”
She smiles. “That side of you that lets your guard down and lets people in.”
I squirm, a little uneasy. “I don’t show that side to anyone but you…and maybe Jamison.”
“Then that’s a shame, because it’s a really great side.”
I take her in. “I’d rather stay right here in this cabin with you…never leave again.”
Her smile widens. “What about school? We’d have to leave for that.” At the idea of starting school, the warm feeling in my chest subsides. Her expression turns solemn, and she exhales a breath, looking at me with serious intent, and I get a little nervous about whatever it is she is getting ready to say. “What do you want to study in school?” she asks.
Based on her body language, that was not at all what I was expecting. I adjust the pillow behind me and rest against the wall. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it yet. I’ve just been focused on doing all this to get in and on the required tennis.”
She wiggles in her seat and covers her stomach with her arms, sort of pulling herself inward. “What interests you? Business?”
What does that even mean…business? I don’t want her to know I don’t know what all that entails. “Yeah, I guess.”
“What about communications? You could be a sports reporter…or a sportscaster.” She grasps my leg around the ankle. “You could totally work for ESPN.”
I huff a laugh. “Do you want to be my manager?” She averts her gaze, her brow creasing a little. “Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she says, but I’m not sure I’m buying it.
“What nothing?” I ask. She gives me a sort of awkward, confused look. “What is it?” I ask, starting to worry a little.
“No, it’s just…it might be a good idea to start thinking about what you want to study.”
I frown. “I guess you’ve got all that locked down, huh?”
“Well, no, I mean, not totally.” She looks down at the blanket she’s sitting on, messing with the satin ridge.
“But you have a good idea.”
“Well, yeah.”
“What is it? What’s going to be your major?”
She shrugs, looking a little sheepish. “I’m thinking about chemical engineering, maybe aerospace. See, I’m still deciding.”
I huff a laugh. “Must be nice to have an idea of where you’re headed. All I know is I want to be settled somewhere.”
She closes her eyes, like that wasn’t the answer she wanted. She opens them and meets my gaze. “Well, what happens if school isn’t what you thought it was going to be?”
I get a sick feeling in my gut at what she’s hinting at. “What exactly are you saying, Carlyn?”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“No, you’re definitely saying something.”
“I’m not. I just want to make sure you understand that school is really hard. Avery is hard. I know you’ve been tutored, but this is going to be way different.”
My face goes hot at her implications. “You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”
“God, no. Of course not.”
“For sure I’m no goddamned aerospace engineer, but I’m not an idiot. I can learn.”
“I know you can.”
We both sit up straight at the sound of a door in the distance.
I grit my teeth. “Fuck.” She looks around. “Just sit still,” I whisper. “They may not be coming this way.” I hold my breath, and in a minute, the light under the pavilion goes out, and the door shuts again. I exhale, my adrenaline subsiding.
She scoots closer to me. “There’s plenty of time for all that. You just have to understand, I’m super organized and ahead of the game. You’d have hated me if we went to school together. I was that nerd in class who helped the subs keep us on track.”
I can’t help a smile. “That sounds ambitious.”
“That’s me. You sure you want to keep hanging out?”
I pull her onto me, and we slide down so we’re horizontal, squished together on the tiny bed. “Definitely.” But this conversation has left me feeling even more uneasy than I did when she came into the room. She leans up, wanting to be kissed, and I oblige, but it’s not long before I pull away and let her snuggle in to me. I’m not so much in the mood for kissing anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Carlyn
I sit on a table in the pavilion with Keisha below me, braiding her hair. I should have never let this set of girls know I had this skill. They’re all fighting over who gets to go next. My arms are going to be jelly by tonight’s closing ceremonies.
Fred walks by holding a bag full of bottled waters, Josh flanking him. “I don’t recognize you without your bun, Keisha,” Fred says.
“Which do you like better?” I ask Josh. “Bun or braids?”
He thinks about it. “I think she looks good both ways.”
A couple of the girls behind us give an oooh, exploding into giggles, and Josh’s face goes crimson. I can’t see Keisha’s face, but I brush her cheek with my knuckle, and it’s red hot. I’m going to miss this girl like nobody’s business. If I could take Keisha home with me at the end of the summer, not much could make me happier.
I can’t quit thinking about my conversation with Vaughn last weekend. I can’t shake the eerie feeling in my gut that Jeffrey is right. Vaughn doesn’t seem at all ready for college. According to Jeffrey, he’s been so pampered all his life when it comes to school, he’s in for a total rude awakening. I know it’s not my responsibility to save him from himself, but it’s hard not to want to try, especially if Jeffrey is going to have to move on. What if he finds the next great American tennis player? What if Vaughn has to drop out of school and has no one there to help guide him back on track? Jeffrey has been his mentor and basically his parent all these years. What’s going to happen when he’s not there for Vaughn?
Jeffrey’s car crunches up the drive, which takes me by surprise. He’s not usually here on Fridays. I hold out my hand to Leah beside me. “Ponytail holder, please.” She places it in my hand like a surgical assistant. I tie Keisha’s last braid off, and then clasp her by the shoulders.
“All fixed up.”
Keisha holds her hands up to the braids, feeling them out. “Nice and tight. You’re not bad.”
“Thanks,” I say, eyeing Jeffrey, who’s headed for me.
“I’m next,” Leah says, scooting over.
“Give me just a minute to say hello to Mr. Lyons, okay?”
She puts her hands on her hips, all sass. “You better come back.”
“You better bet I will.” I give her a grin, and she lets me off the hook.
I jump off the table and meet Jeffrey. “What’s up? We weren’t expecting you this afternoon.”
He runs his hand over his head. “Yeah, I’m just passing through on my way back from Chicago. There’ve been some changes at Avery.” He glances around. “Is there somewhere we can go and talk?”
I glance over at Nancy, who’s rolling a cooler to the girls. She nods toward the house. “Kitchen’s empty, or it should be.”
We head that way and sit at the kitchen table. The look on Jeffrey’s face makes my stomach ill. “I’ve got some bad news, Carlyn. Avery has decided not to do a walk-on tournament after all. They’ve secured a handful of really solid players, and they’re ready to roll forward with those people. I’m so sorry.”
I look down at the blue-and-green checked placemat in front of me. I’ve been disconnected out here this summer, but it doesn’t escape my thoughts that I never actually saw a walk-on tournament advertised on their site. “Was there ever even going to be a walk-on tournament?”
“Of course. Why would you ask that?”
“I never saw it on their site.”
He shrugs. “Never was on there.” I wait him out, needing further explanation than that. “Look, sweetheart, it didn’t matter if this tournament was ever scheduled or not. If I thought you were ready for the Avery team, all I’d need to do is make one phone call. But I’ll be honest. If I were to get you on that team, I’d be asking for a favor, not presenting them with the star player they overlooked a few months back, and I’m just not willing to risk my reputation like that.”
His words cut me to my core, but in my heart, they aren’t a shock. He looks at me, brow creased in concern. “I really did have high hopes for you. I mean that. I knew we had a hard road ahead of us this summer, and to be honest, I’ve been here way more than I meant to be. I don’t invest in players for my health. When I set out to make one a star, I succeed. But you’re almost eighteen. If I’d have gotten my hands on you when you were twelve, this would be a whole different conversation, I promise you that. There’s just not enough time to get you to DI level.”
Courting Carlyn Page 16