Pirate Theory

by Gabriel Just

here. What is the point of investigating somewhere else?”

  “Well, there is a theory that predicts that intelligent life can even evolve outside Hilbert Space. Of course, without the Hilbert anomaly this is very very unlikely and such a civilization would most likely be completely alone. And without collaboration and the help of other species or the chance to make contact they all die out before travelling faster than light. Nevertheless, theoretically such civilizations exist. Finding them is of course nearly impossible. Nobody would actually leave Hilbert Space, just to look through light years of dead rocks and gas giants. So my research will remain theoretical forever. It is still an interesting topic.”

  Peppita nodded, but she stopped listening after hearing the word “theory”. It was enough to formulate a time-proven counter argument, even if she didn’t understand a word Grongl said afterwards. “Well, but that’s only a theory,” she said dismissively. “However, it sounds very intriguing.”

  “Really? You think so?” Grongl said, surprised.

  “Indeed! It looks like your job is even more boring than hauling freight. I need to take a look at that, if only to boost my spirits. Very well, I will bring you to your station. But only as a favor to your father Flinton.”

  “Cousin.”

  “Cousin, whatever.”

  “We are approaching Lorola station,” Kip announced. “We will arrive in a few minutes.”

  Grongl, who had stayed with Peppita and Kip on the bridge was visibly excited.

  “Put the image of our forward cam on the big screen,” Peppita ordered. Kip pushed a button and the big monitor began to flicker. After a short time, the display showed nothing but uniform darkness.

  “Is that it? Or did Flinton neglected his cam maintenance duties again?” Peppita asked.

  “The cam works,” Kip answered. “I said we are approaching it, not that we are there yet. It is still minutes away. Do you have any idea how fast we are travelling? Of course it is not visible yet.”

  “Well, then don’t notify us, if there is nothing to see. What’s the point?” Peppita ranted.

  “If you insist I can display a picture of the station from the database.”

  “Do it! That way it feels like we are getting close. I hate waiting around.”

  Kip pressed some more buttons on his terminal and a picture from the archive was displayed on the big screen. The station consisted of a big, slowly rotating ring and a stationary cubic middle piece. However, without a point of reference it could easily have been the other way round.

  “It looks… strange,” Peppita noted. “Why is it rotating?”

  “Conservation of angular momentum,” Grongl answered briefly. “The ring is like a giant roundabout, so people are only allowed to move through it counter-clockwise. This of course leads to a rotation of the whole ring that is harvested for energy. It is a really smart idea. And really good for infrastructure. With this method of transportation I can go from my lab to my office in 12 seconds. The downside is of course the way back, which takes me a whole lap around the station. However it is much better than the anarchy on most other stations.”

  “We are here,” Kip proclaimed. “Switching to cam view.”

  The screen flickered and soon showed a real time picture of the station.

  “That doesn’t look like the image from the database at all,” Peppita complained. “About a quarter of the ring is missing. And what are those black spots on the main cube? And fire and debris everywhere. The station looks way cooler that way, they should put this picture in the database!”

  Grongl looked at the screen in shock. “What… what happened here? Where is everybody?”

  “Maybe there was a lab accident,” Kip proposed.

  “In a theory station? The worst thing that could happen in our department is that we are missing a minus sign somewhere. Here we are missing most of the station.”

  “I am picking up an automated distress call,” Kip said.

  “Let’s hear it!” Peppita shouted, obviously happy about the excitement.

  After a short period of static there was a distorted voice. “... under attack by Captain Wook and his pirates. Help! They destroyed most of the station. We try to evacuate, but it might be too late. They are taking us prisoner. Blasted pirates!” After that, there was static and the recorded message began anew.

  “Pirates?” Peppita asked. “Why would pirates attack a research station?”

  “Why do pirates attack anything?” Kip asked rhetorically.

  “Well to plunder of course. Rare materials or commodities,” Peppita explained.

  “See, I never really understood that part,” Kip pondered. “I mean gold, hexaglass, transsteel, all those things are somehow valuable, since you can make nice things from them. But why steal it from others? Every ship, every station today is equipped with some form of matter printer. Why not just request it. What is the point in taking it from others, when you can have it for free?”

  “You really have no idea, do you, Kip?” Peppita said. “It’s like any other job. Completely pointless. But people need something to do. I think the tradition of pirating began way back in the days. In a primitive time, where goods were not freely available for everyone. Back then it was actually easier to kill people for their gold than to get gold by other means. I guess the tradition of pirating somehow survived, even if it makes not much sense today. And I kind of understand why. Pirating sounds very exciting, don’t you think? The battles, the plundering, the danger. Maybe we should try it someday, I’m sure it beats hauling cargo.”

  “I still don’t understand,” Grongl said. “We had no valuables on the whole station. All our research was theoretical. We don’t do experiments with rare matter, or any experiments actually. What were they after?”

  “Maybe they just wanted to blow something up. Not everybody needs a reason for destruction, isn’t that right, Captain?” Kip said.

  Peppita grinned and responded, just as Flinton entered the bridge, “I could see myself doing this all day. The explosions, the flames, the way the debris slowly drifts away. It’s a form of art.”

  Flinton looked at the image from the main screen and stopped dead in his tracks. “You did this Peppita? Are you insane? I mean, more insane than usual? How did you pull this off? Did you secretly install weapons on the Blasting Beetle? Again? Well, I don’t care. I’m not fixing this. My job is to repair and maintain our ship, if you blow up somebody else’s station it’s your problem!”

  “Of course this wasn’t me!” Peppita shouted. “Pirates attacked your nephew’s research station.”

  “My cousin’s,” Flinton corrected her.

  “Cousin, whatever.”

  “It’s true. Pirates destroyed this station. Probably they were after the research,” Kip explained.

  “In any case, we are going after them!” Peppita commanded.

  “No way!” Kip disagreed. “That is too dangerous. What should we do against pirates who can destroy a whole station. Any why should we do it? Isn’t that a job for some security force. Or maybe the military. Why should we get involved?”

  “Because it is our job!” Peppita responded. “Currently we have a passenger who wants to go back to his colleagues. And just because said colleagues are currently held prisoner by some pirates doesn't mean we can simply quit. On the contrary, it gets even more exciting that way!”

  “Well, thinking about it, maybe it is better if you just drop me off at the next inhabited planet,” Grongl suggested. “I’m not that fond of my colleagues actually, and those pirates really sound dangerous.”

  “Pha,” Peppita laughed. “And who gave you the idea that you have anything to say about where you want to go? Have you ever heard of a cargo crate that decided it wants to change its destination, maybe travel to a nice beach? Of course not! So be quiet and let us handle this! We are going to transport you, no matter the risk!”

  “Are the scans complete?” Peppita asked.

  “Yes, captain!” Kip r
esponded. “Judging from the debris, how far it is away from the station, and how fast it is moving I was able to extrapolate the approximate time of the attack. It occurred only a few hours ago.”

  “So the pirates could not have gotten far?” Peppita hypothesized.

  “I would not jump to conclusions. Depending on their ship’s speed they could be arbitrarily far away. However, if they used a slow combat ship, which is very likely, we might be able to catch up to them.”

  “And they needed a big ship to destroy a station,” Flinton guessed. “Grongl, how well was the station defended? Tell us everything you know!”

  “Well,” Grongl explained, “some of our research was dedicated to weapons. Heavy transplasma beams, synchronized protomatter launchers, hexametric power shield matrices, everything.”

  “That is quite the arsenal,” Peppita said, impressed. “The pirates must have had a battleship or something even heavier.”

  “Just to clarify,” Grongl said feebly, “we did only theoretical research on those weapons. We had no actual prototypes or anything. But we had extremely accurate simulations. For most purposes they were even better than the real thing.”

  “Evidently, simulations perform much worse than the real thing in combat situations,” Flinton said dismissively.

  “Good,” Peppita concluded, ”so to sum up we have no idea where the pirates are, no clue what ship they have and no notion what they were up to. Perfect! I like a challenge.”

  “Shouldn’t we better intercom some security