by Gabriel Just
promise.”
Flinton took a short look at the list. “Hexa-penta-trans-krypto-whatnow? I have no idea what those things are, but they sound highly unstable. I’m pretty sure that’s not something the scientists will just let me have without an explanation.”
“Then think of an explanation. Do I have to do everything myself? And now go, we’ll meet back here as soon as everything is ready. There is something I have to take care of personally.”
More than an hour passed before Kip returned to the meeting place, piloting a copy of the Blasting Beetle. As soon as he landed, Peppita joined him on the bridge.
“You were right, captain,” Kip admitted. “It does feel different than the real Blasting Beetle.”
“I told you so. Nothing compares to the original. But it will suffice to escape from here. Where is Flinton? He should be ready by now.”
After a few minutes the door to the bridge opened and Flinton stepped in. There were three big burn marks and a small, smoking hole in his lab coat. “You could have told me,” he said calmly.
“Told you what?” Peppita asked as innocently as possible.
“About the properties of that stuff. That it burns through clothing. That it tends to explode arbitrarily. And most of all that it bites through glass vials after exactly the time it takes me to leave the matter printing room with the first aid kit inside.”
“Good to know. But you have all the stuff?”
“Yes. I might have promised some people to include them in our publications of the results, but I doubt it will ever come to that. In any case, here is it. I put it in reinforced vials, but be careful with it nevertheless. Especially the red stuff is nasty.”
“Good work, crew! Even you, Flinton. Now let’s get going! I want my real ship back as fast as possible.”
“Ready for liftoff,” Kip announced proudly.
“Good. Bring us into orbit, but stay there for now. Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Peppita reassured her crew.
“Has it something to do with the thing you had to take care of personally?” Kip asked cautiously.
“That? No, not at all, that had nothing to do with our plan. I just felt really hungry all of a sudden, so I returned to the feast. Now I’m stuffed, I can tell you that. You would have liked it, Kip. It was really delicious.”
“I’m sure it was,” Kip said, nearly sobbing. “Anyway, we are now almost in orbit. What’s our next move?”
“Open a channel directly to Captain Wook,” Peppita ordered.
“But aren’t we trying to escape from the pirates?” Kip asked.
“Well, kind of, but he also has the Blasting Beetle. Trust me, it will be fine. I have a plan. Open the channel now.”
After short hesitation Kip pressed a button on his terminal. Captain Wook’s face appeared on the main screen.
“I am Captain Wook, what is it you - wait, you again? I captured you already, didn’t I. You now belong to Admiral Beex. What do you think you are doing here, away from the surface?”
“We have a confession to make,” Peppita explained. “We tricked you. We are not scientists. The truth is… in fact we are…”
With a quick move Peppita revealed the three vials Flinton had prepared. “Chief scientists!”
“I knew it!” Wook shouted while slamming his fist on his armrest. “You speak the truth. Vials with bubbling liquid in different colors… exactly as Beex told me. That fool ripped me off.”
“Indeed he did,” Peppita agreed. “Each of us is worth at least 100 normal scientists. So this is the deal. You give me back my ship, in return you can have chief scientist Flinton over there. He is worth 100 scientists. So you lose me and Kip, which are 2, but you already gave 4 of us to Beex, which means that by him losing those you gain an additional 4, relative to him. Minus the two you are losing now, added to the 100 you get, accounted for inflation and compound interest you would gain 102 scientists by this transaction, and only have to give me my old ship. You can even have this new ship.”
Captain Wook tried to use his fingers to verify Peppita’s calculation. “100 minus 4… no - minus 2… plus the 4 from Beex…” Unfortunately he reached his limits very soon and had to rely on a different strategy. “I have a better plan. I simply capture all of you. Then I have one more ship, the three of you each worth 100 scientists, plus the 4 that Beex lost, equals… equals… much more! Attack!”
“That was your plan!?” Flinton shouted. “Selling me out for your ship? Are you serious? That’s even worse than the last plan.”
“Don’t worry,” Peppita calmed him down. “Everything works according to plan. Now we will get inside Wook’s ship. The rest will be simple. Come on, take your vials and prepare to be boarded. But don’t resist.”
Shortly after, three fierce looking pirates boarded the replica of the Blasting Beetle. “Don’t hurt us. We are valuable chief scientists. See the vials? We won’t resist,” Peppita ensured them.
“Follow us!” one of the pirates grunted and Peppita, Kip and Flinton did as they were told. They were escorted through the airlock and went to Captain Wook’s ship.
“And now Peppita?” Flinton asked her.
“No talking,” one of the pirates shouted while hitting Flinton with the back of his rifle.
“Wait for it. Any minute now,” Peppita whispered.
“No whispering either!” another pirate screeched.
Flinton had no idea what they were waiting for, but continued silently on his way to the brig. Moments later there was a giant explosion. The whole ship began to tremble. Not only Peppita, Flinton and Kip, but also the three pirates were knocked on the ground.
“Now!” Peppita ordered. “Use your vials!”
She demonstrated her plan and poured the red liquid over the pirate that had been escorting her, before jumping to cover. The Hexa-penta-trans-krypto-boromite exploded after a few seconds and the pirate was launched to the other end of the corridor. Kip followed Peppita’s example and threw the contents of his vial in the face of the pirate closest to him. The para-meta-tri-dithtyl melted not only the pirate’s face, but also a considerable amount of the floor. Flinton was the slowest of the three and as he poured the liquid in his vial on his opponent, that one was already on his feet again. After a moment of shock, both realized that the effect of dihydrogen-monoxide on a Hironi’s skin were rather minor. Luckily Flinton was quick to react and knocked the pirate out with a decisive blow of the reinforced glass vial.
“To the Blasting Beetle, quick! Follow me,” Peppita screamed.
“The explosion, what was that? Did you plan that?” Flinton asked while running.
“Of course,” Peppita assured him. “I knew that Admiral Beex carefully watches his territory and would react if some of his property gets stolen, especially if it is valuable, like us. Ideally those two will destroy each other, but at the very least we will have a diversion to escape with the Blasting Beetle.”
“So you didn’t try to sell me to Wook after all?” Flinton asked, full of hope.
“Well, to be absolutely honest, if he had agreed to our deal you might have been able to keep your promise of coauthorship. Anyway, let’s be glad everything worked out the way it did.”
Soon Peppita reached the docking bay, where the real Blasting Beetle was stored. It was exactly like Peppita remembered it, every scratch, every bump and every crack was exactly where it was supposed to be. They quickly boarded their old ship and forcefully left through the closed hatch of Wooks battleship, thereby adding even more personality to the Blasting Beetle, in the form of a big bump at its nose.
“Do they follow us?” Kip asked, worrying that now two pirate ships were after them.
“No, they are too busy fighting one another. We can get far away, no problem,” Peppita said triumphantly.
Kip was relieved. “Very good. I can’t wait to leave all of this behind. Pirating is really an incredibly dangerous business.”
“That’s true!” Peppita agreed. “You have to fight for your s
urvival each and every day, all your allies are secretly your enemies, and there is no place in the whole of Hilbert Space where you can feel safe... that is exactly what I was looking for. Kip! Assemble the crew. I have an announcement to make.”
More from this series:
Tales from Hilbert Space
includes “A Smuggler’s License”, the story of how Peppita lost her smuggling license, and three more short stories, starring Professor Tinwin and others.
New Tales from Hilbert Space
includes “Salvaging Rites”, in which Peppita meets a fanatic cult, obsessed with salvaging ships, and three more short stories, featuring the Extermination Brothers as well as other characters.